Dreddout posted:

Alcohol

quote:

Let's say that I don't have a problem with anyone's religious beliefs, as long as people are reasonable about them.

So my brother's in-laws are visiting our country for a month and my brother asked if they can stay at my place when they visit my city. I agreed. So my brother, his wife and the in-laws came here 4 days ago. I'm close with my brother's wife, she's very nice so I assumed that her parents would be like that too and I love having guests. That was a huge mistake.

On day 1 they arrived in the afternoon. I had cooked dinner for them. Things were going fine, we had dinner. After dinner the MIL came to me and asked if the food was halal. I said no. She got upset and then her and her husband went on to throw up everything that they had eaten and they were upset at me for forcing non-halal food into them. I mean how the hell is that my problem? They didn't tell me about their dietary restrictions. I think if you have them you need to tell the host beforehand. I don't have divination powers. So I asked them why they hadn't told me and they said that they were Muslim and I should have known. Literally "how can you host Muslim guests and not learn their traditions". Sorry. I don't know everything about every religion. I knew Muslims don't eat pork and I didn't make pork, I didn't know more than that. So that passed. My brother went and bought halal meat for the next days.

On day 2, I offered them wine. They were offended. They said I should have known that Muslims don't drink wine. The only Muslim I know is my SIL and she drinks wine. They could have easily declined but they went too far. They asked if there have ever been alcohol in any of the glasses they drank from. I was honest and said I don't know. I don't keep track of what's ever been in which glass. They called me negligent of their traditions.
They have a problem with the loo. They don't wipe themselves, they wash. Since our toilets don't allow that they take shower after going to the toilet. That's fine since my guest room has a bathroom. But they expect clean towels every time. Like twice a day. I don't have that many towels. I can't wash them twice a day. When it comes to TV they also don't like a lot of channels that show stuff that they believe are not permitted.

The worst thing was when my boyfriend came over one night and stayed with me. In the morning the MIL asked if we were married, I said no, and she went on to give me an explanation of why it's wrong to have sex before marriage. I was shocked. I'm sure my brother hosed their daughter before marriage in this very house more than once. They're coming to my house and telling me what I can and can't do. These were the big ones. Smaller ones happened to.
My brother came to apologize to me last night and told me that he didn't know they go this crazy and thanks me for putting up with this and promised that he'll make it up to me in the future. I mean I understand him. I've been dealing with this for 4 days, he's been doing it for 2 weeks now.

Today the MIL came and asked me to be more modest in the house. I asked what she means and she said she wants me to wear long sleeves around her husband. I tolerated all the nonsense so far but this I couldn't. I said no. She said I'm not respecting their beliefs and I told her that she's asking me to change what I wear that's not respect. At some point she called me Islamophobic when I told her that I don't care if these things are their religious beliefs. Her and her husband have been out since then.

I'm at my wits' end. The only reason I've tolerated things so far is because of my brother and SIL and these in-laws are making it more difficult every day. I have 3 more days to deal with this and I don't know if I can. Any suggestions on how to deal with these sort of people?

tl;dr: I agreed to host my brother's in-laws for a week and I'm at my wits' end at day 4. They're super religious and expect me to abide by their religious beliefs. They're rude and so entitled. I don't know how to keep going for another 3 days.

Lifetime77 posted:

quote:

Background: There are 18 cousins in my family and only 3 are girls. We grew up very close, just like sisters.There is Amy (30), myself (28), and Brenda also (28). I got married first, six years ago, to my high school sweetheart in a civil ceremony before my husband was deployed. I love every single thing about my wedding. I wore a pink dress of my grandmother's from the 1930s and my husband pinned a picture of his late mother inside his uniform. We went out for ice cream after. I have one "official" photo from the day. About a year later my parents threw us a "reception" which consisted of fried chicken with all the fixings, angel food cake and barn dancing. Amy got married two years ago. She had a very small affair on my parents farm. Brenda and I were her MOHs. Amy and I planned it together and did all the DIY with the other bridesmaids - Brenda included. I'm a hobby baker so I baked 10 pies in place of cake and giant black/white cookies for everyone to take home. I often bake for friends and family's celebrations. I've done several cakes for weddings as well as cupcakes and any type of other sweets for parties. I love doing it and will volunteer my services gladly. Amy is a cosmetologist and always offers the services of her salon. Always does makeup, nails and hair for everyone involved. We both love to help out.

In March Brenda got engaged. Her friend is her MOH and Amy and I are bridesmaids. Besides the 3 of us she has 7 other bridesmaids. At the first meeting she announces that its about time our family enjoy a "real" wedding. Her wedding wouldn't be some $2 dollar pinterest bumpkin affair. Amy and I just roll our eyes at each other. Brenda is very "fancypants" and highly values material things. So this isn't a surprise we love her all the same. She then shows her ring off. Its an exact replica of the heirloom I wear that was my husband's mother's and hers mother's before except Brenda's has a much bigger stones. She also pointed out that hers was platinum and mine was white gold so she improved on it greatly. I did my best to be flattered that she liked the ring so much and just be happy for her but I'll admit that it hurt that she would copy my ring that I cherish so much.

Then she tells everyone they are going to weigh in and we can't weigh more than 5 pounds over our current weight or we are out as bridesmaids. Oh except for Amy and one of her friends who she expects to lose weight before the wedding. Amy is very tall and big boned and carries some extra weight and she is self-conscious about it. Brenda knows this has been a life long thing for Amy. Hmm okay ... then she passes out these assignment sheets. As I'm looking at mine its about 4 pages thicker than all the rest. Well well it seems I'm coordinating her wedding ... oh and I'm baking a cake for 300 guests with four flavors, six fillings and champagne buttercream and making mini cakes as favors ... oh and Amy and I are hosting her bridal shower and her pantry shower and her lingerie shower ... okay ... Amy is doing all hair, makeup, nails from now until the wedding and spa days plus cutting all groomsmens hair ... oh and we are to be assistants to her MOH so she can plan the best bachelorette EVER. At this point Amy calls bullshit and says most of this stuff is either over the top or for the MOH to oversee and I speak up and say I can't make 300 replica wedding cakes as favors let alone a cake for 300 in my tiny kitchen.

Brenda and her MOH laugh. MOH says "Oh honey I'll oversee the work you both do don't worry I'm in charge you are all the worker bees. (fans her hand at the 9 maids) Hmm alrighty but still I stress that while I can make a lovely artisan cutting cake and cupcakes or cookies as favors I cannot do an actual huge wedding cake with mini cakes. Brenda then starts with these huge crocodile tears and says I'm giving her a panic attack! That she just wants our families to have at least one nice wedding since its just us three girls and why don't we want that too? Amy could see me start to waiver so she grabbed my hand and got us out of there. Honestly I did start to calculate how long 300 mini wedding cakes would take me. I love my cousin even though she can be a pain in the rear end.

Anyway for the last 5 months its been ridiculous and tense and of course the bridesmaids are doing all the work. The Bridezilla moments are comical. Everything is a panic attack or giving her anxiety. I truly respect people who suffer panic attacks but my cousin never ever has until now. I'm going to guess that fanning yourself while pretending to cry and claiming to have heart palpitations one minute and snapchatting your starbucks order the next is not what a panic attack is made of.

The wedding is up to over $60k. I had no idea how my uncle was paying for it until I found out my mom and dad loaned him money thinking it was for a desperately needed new work truck. Amy's parents loaned money "for a new roof". Its not just Amy and I either. One of the other bridesmaids has been tasked with learning calligraphy for the invites. The list goes on. I've been guilted over and over by Brenda and her MOH and her friends about the pies and cookies I made for Amy's wedding. I've tried to explain that I did all the pie crusts one day, all the different fillings over two days and baked them all the morning of the wedding. We borrowed all the pie tins from family members. I get "so do that for Brenda's cakes!!!" in return. They just don't understand.

I happily announced in May that I was pregnant with my first. Brenda lost her poo poo in front of our entire family. Screaming that I got pregnant on purpose to ruin he day and steal her spotlight even though I was pregnant just before Brenda got engaged. That people wouldn't be able to afford good gifts if they had to buy for me too. Oh and the best part how was I going to bake all her cakes with an infant?! This is when Amy jumps in and tells her to stop acting like a stupid brat and that it was made clear that a huge cake and replica cakes were out of the question. I'm crying, our family looks shocked, my aunt is trying to soothe Brenda and tell Amy to stop being so mean and my aunt says "of course Sarah (me) can make your cakes! Its her gift to you!" It was just a complete hot mess. And its only gotten worse.

Amy and I are apparently jealous of her wedding, her, and her man. We want to ruin her wedding because we had such lovely ones. MOH is treating us like the help still. Everyone is pissed at my uncle for lying about why he needed money. He hit just about everyone up in the family. Including my husband who gave him $100 for a new saw for work. So hey now we are ALL paying for Brenda's Day. The bridesmaids are divided between our childhood friends and her adult friends. My aunt is warring with her sisters (our moms) and we've still got 8 months until the wedding. Not to mention I'm pregnant and I'm feeling guilty and emotional as hell and still trying to figure out how to bake everything she wants. I'd be so happy to make her tasty beautiful sheet cakes and a lovely cutting cake. I'd need some help but I could do 300 gorgeous cupcakes. I just can't do what she wants. I don't have the space or equipment or means or knowledge. Not to mention we live in a small town I'm not even sure how she knows 300 people to invite!
I know Brenda is being a brat and Amy is butting heads here. How do I defuse this? I want this to be a happy time! A new baby and a wedding! We should be excited.

Instead our hillbilly roots are showing here. Please help reddit.

tl;dr: Brenda is a Bridezilla and I'm a bitch for not baking her dreams come true.

Frog Act posted:

quote:

My girlfriend and I have been on again/off again for the last 4 years. It's been challenging but recently (last 3 months) we've really been in a great place and have been building a much stronger, healthy relationship.

I've known for a while now she wants to move out of our large Southeastern U.S. city; in part because her and I have some bad memories here. And for as long as I've known her, she's not been crazy about living here. No problem, while I have a great job here that will comfortably provide for a family, I see her point. There are number of nice places around the country (L.A., Seattle, and SLC) that I have connections in and could find something in a reasonable time frame. I even start applying for jobs and get the ball rolling.

Then about two weeks ago, she began to get fixated on the idea of moving to Paris. She's always loved France, took French in high school, have discussed taking trips there, etc. It's gotten to the point where it's at least 50% of what she wants to talk about when we are together. It started out with me agreeing to include it job searches, and then has morphed into the only place I should be looking for jobs, according to her. She claims that living in Paris is her lifelong dream (which I suppose is at least half-true - I think it's always been a fun thought to her but not something she seriously planned on until recently).

I should explain, we are both Americans. I don't speak a lick of French, and she's forgotten most of what she learned in high school. I have worked internationally before with a large mulitnational company in places like Shanghai and Amsterdam, and I know how difficult it is to land a job in another country, especially when you don't know the language, your job is not unique (accounting), and you are not being transferred by your current employer.
This all came to a head the other night. While she was discussing this dream of hers, she made a comment that I asked her to clarify that I thought was a bit odd. It essentially came down to, I should have no problem finding a great job in Paris in a year or so. And if I couldn't, well, she simply would not accept it and would probably end things with me. Because she has this unshakable belief that if you simply work hard, approach it with the right attitude, and you have all the right connections, you can make anything happen. So me not getting a job in Paris in that time frame means I'm just not working hard enough, that I don't love her enough to make her dream come true, or I'm a loser who doesn't have the right connections (according to her). She couches all of this with "I know you are smart and believe in you 100% - I know you can make this happen for us!"

At that point, I lost it. I admit, I've probably been too nice about this until now. At no point did I promise I could make it happen, but I have sort of only hinted at how difficult this will be. I told her that getting a job in Paris was a real longshot. There are very real legal, cultural and professional hurdles that no amount of networking or emailing employers can overcome. That maybe it could happen eventually. Maybe tomorrow, maybe 10 years from now. Maybe not at all. I don't know. But given the low odds, I told her it's definitely not something we can plan on, at all. I told her it took 6 months just to find the job I have now in the US (to which her response was, if this one took 6 month then 12 months to get to Paris should be no problem!). I am genuinely ok with doing this if a job came along, but she has now thrown down this requirement that it get done soon or she's probably moving on.

I don't know what to do here. Am I crazy in thinking that it really is difficult to just emigrate to one specific place in a foreign country - to the point where you can't count on it for your future? Should she just be happy with a sincere effort to find a job, but ultimately nothing turns up?

And if anyone has any resources regarding how difficult (or hey, how easy - maybe I'm wrong) it is for an American to get a job in France, links in the comments would be appreciated.

TL;DR - My on/off of 4 years GF and I are both Americans. My GF has insisted that I fulfill her lifelong dream and find a job in Paris and move us there in the next 12 months or she will probably end our relationship, since it is something I should be able to get with enough hard/smart work.

Stabbatical posted:

quote:

Okay. Long story but I'll cut it down. Been married for 3 years now, we have an 18 month old son together. I'm from London.

Last night over tea my husband told me he married me only to get British citizenship. He's Australian, I'm British.
He told me he'd married me to get citizenship, said he'd be persecuted for being gay, and Indian and that in Australia, he'd be persecuted for being gay so he fell for me, he said that he loved me, just not in the sex way, and that he was gay, said he needed British citizenship. He told me how Australia was really anti-gay and anti-Indian, said you wouldn't want to go to Brisbane, told me how Americans were hated in Brisbane, and that Indian people were called "loving mongrel whores" there.

I was upset, angry and it's only 24 hours since he told me this. I feel like my marriage was a fraud.
We met at a friend's party, he told me he was an Australian working for a major firm in The City, been in London for 2 years.

I'm now upset and angry and wondering what the hell to do, worrying about what's best for my son.

tl;dr: Husband admitted he married me just for British citizenship, admitted he was gay, claimned persecution, what now?

quote:

I feel like we have a decent relationship most of the time. I am not the most confident guy most of the time and this certainly has had an effect on our love life. I would give it a 6/10 most of the time.

She has told me strait up that she needs more satisfaction in the bedroom. She met two guys when she was out with girlfriends who said she was "animalistcally attracted to." The guys offered to take her to a hotel room and have sex with her at the same time. She says she said no, but did get one of thier numbers and they have been texting since Saturday. (she refuses to let me see the texts)

I do appreciate that she was honest about her feelings but I don't exactly feel like her having a threesome with two other guys would be the confidence boost I need in my life.

She has said that she is not happy and is willing to work on our relationship AFTER she goes through with the threesome. If I don't let her do it, then she says I need to be out by the end of the week.

tl;dr: wife wants a threesome without me involved. As stupid as this sounds, do I let her do it for the good of our relationship?

Fat Shat Sings posted:

haha, how old are those two, like 20?

"I'm going to go get railed by two strangers in a hotel room, either you can stay or you can go because this poo poo is happening"
"What do I do reddit?"

quote:

This is absolutely doing my head in so I hope you can help. I've never posted here before but heard a friend talk about it a few times.

My boyfriend James is a normal, sane human being (well I thought so anyway) with a stable job in the medical industry and has, before now, shown no signs of being, well, nuts. He's also shown no signs of being homophobic in any way.

SO. I am a fairly decent singer and recently (6 months) ago started booking gigs on the weekends at events, weddings, bars/clubs and such. They pay me and I sing covers of songs, do requests, stuff like that. Great, I love singing, I can make money on doing it - fantastic.

Ever since the first gig James came to, we've had problems. He sat through most of my performance, was great when I had breaks and generally seemed happy. A few friends were there too and everyone said I did great. Until I got to a song near the end. The song isn't that important but for the record it was "Let Her Go" by Passenger (you may know it) the song is clearly written about a woman, the lyrics have references i.e. "You see her when you close your eyes" "Only know you love her when you let her go" ETC. It's a pretty popular song, anyway. So during this song my boyfriend gets up and goes to the bar. I kind of notice it out of the corner of my eye but don't take much notice. And he's quiet for the rest of the night until we get home.

When we get home he is angry/pouting and I can tell but don't really know why. So we get into bed and he tells me that he doesn't want me singing "those kind of songs" anymore because it's "disrespectful to our relationship" and "sends the wrong message". I was like WTF. Firstly I asked him to clarify the song, then when he told me which one I genuinely thought he was kidding. Because he surely couldn't be objecting to me singing "her" or "she", right!? No, wrong. He was angry that I was singing to a woman.

So by this point I am now fuming because who is he to tell me what to sing and also this is insane in my mind so I pretty much said alright buddy you're being ridiculous, and went to sleep hoping that was the end of it.
It wasn't.

In the past 6 months he has come to 6-8 gigs of mine and every time I sing a song with reference to a woman in, he storms out. It is causing huge problems between us and I do not understand it. We will argue afterwards about he. He insists is isn't homophobia, but he won't give me another reason other than that it isn't respectful to the relationship. I refuse to stop singing popular songs that I enjoy singing because they have "she/her" in them, or pulling a musical no-homo and changing it to "he/him" (as he suggested - he's FINE with me singing about men but not women - because it could be about him I suppose). I think it's absolutely ridiculous!

So this all came to a head on Saturday night when I had a gig and an Ed Sheeran song was requested. There were a lot of references to "her/she". WELL I'm sure you can guess how well that went down. Now we aren't speaking and I don't know what to do.

I love this man. He has never shown ANY signs of jealousy or controlling behaviour, including if a man has made a comment or something at a bar. He has no problems with men coming up and saying hi after my sets etc. Am I overreacting or being stubborn? Should I just back down on this one for the sake of the relationship?
I have tried to think of any sane reason he might hate it but I can't think of one. Reddit, please help!!
tl;dr: Boyfriend thinks me singing songs with "she/her" should be replaced with "he/him" because it is disrespectful to our relationship

a7m2 posted:

wow dating an adult 5 years younger than him, what a pedophile/creep

kaschei posted:

Is r4r redditors for redditors?

Are Dave and Donny secretly organizing a wife swap?

Frog Act posted:

https://np.reddit.com/r/FunAskReddit/comments/4up8at/i_just_had_a_hilarious_idea_comments_anyone/d5s622h?context=3&st=ir59f5vk&sh=aa40c723

loquacius posted:

Can someone summarize for a humble workposter TIA

loquacius posted:

what exactly is the deal with the format these titles keep using, "me [ASL] with another person [ASL], summary of problem"

it's just super awkward

loquacius posted:

I'm about three weeks off from a big ol' bonanza wedding and I'm super looking forward to it because I love throwing awesome parties and this is the only excuse I'll ever get to really go overboard with it without seeming really narcissistic

Being married to my fiancee is of course the central point and we'd have done it long ago if we were only financially able to do a courthouse thing, but given the chance of course we're gonna throw a fuckin' rager and it'll be the best fuckin' party anyone there will ever go to and if you have a problem with that I'm sorry you hate fun

That said an Indian coworker of mine, as in literally from India, had a thousand people at her wedding and just thinking about that gives me a migraine

blarzgh posted:

Not here in the South.

The Snoo posted:

Hey, it's okay to want a fancy wedding and it's okay to do what we did, I just think it's ridiculous to go into debt or guilt people into paying for your wedding. Especially when the desire to do so is one-sided.

Moridin920 posted:

the disrespect was "i'm not from that area my country is 1500 miles away"

lmao

quote:

Most things about him are good, we get along fine as long as we live seperately(I like my own space and have 2 kids to care for).

But I cannot begin to let myself forgive all the pain, the stress, and the antibiotics I've had to pay for over the course of two years.

Is this disregard for my needs something I should find a way to forgive? A friend suggested I put hot sauce on his penis once a month or so for 2 years so he can feel the suffering too, but I'm not into vengeance. I just don't know how to forgive him for this..

Tldr; bf stuck scented body/had lotion in and around my vag after reminding him constantly I'm scent sensitive.
Edit: thanks to those who have actually answered the question I asked, sorry to those who have to be near people who are ignorant to other people's sensitivities allergies, and my bad for asking a question that required some compassion for a womans issue from a seemingly male dominated forum.

quote:

When I wanted to move in with him, he actually just assumed his sister would be coming along, too. When I said no, just the two of us, he put off moving in until I had to practically beg him.

Tumble posted:

Eh, as much as I love a good sordid affair, they're probably just really good buds. I knew a brother-sister pair like that and they'd have given up entire limbs for each other without blinking.

quote:

Got married yesterday, beautiful ceremony, wonderful reception everyone had a good time. Two weeks before my wedding, the priest emailed my wife [31f]explaining that he is not feeling well (recovering from c-diff and a hernia operation) would like to enlist the help of another priest to help with the ceremony because he cannot stand on his feet for very long. We of course had no problem with this. During the ceremony, the other priest was not present, which was strange to my wife and I, however, the process went off without a hitch.

During the cocktail hour the priest approached my wife and apologized for "disrespecting her" and explaining "that if he knew that enlisting the help of another priest was distasteful he would have never asked". My wife was obviously confused by this and became rather upset. Turns out, my brother in law, an MD who is heavily involved in the church where we were married told the priest that two priests were distasteful and that my wife did not want them. This of course was a lie.

The rest of the night went great but in the morning I approached him about his behavior. I told him calmly that I did not appreciate him circumventing us, and explained that he owes my wife an apology. He did not speak with her at all. Later in the same day, I texted him "you owe your sister an apology".

An hour after the text was sent, my wife's mother [69f] called her screaming, that I shouldn't get involved and that she has no problem with her sons behavior. She also explained that she did not want the second priest because she did not want to pay him another $250. (We did not, the original priest said the second one would not charge us) My wife called her brother, furious, and demanded an apology, he did, but then proceeded to say that we "did not take the church service seriously because we were laughing and smiling during parts of it"

That's pretty much where the story ends, and I cannot help but think that my brother in law is an amazing hypocrite. Not only did he manipulate a sick mans behavior for virtually no reason, he also lied by omission to my wife and I and disrespected the same church that he chastised me for "not taking seriously". This man is a Medical Doctor, who is supposed to save people's lives, why didn't he have more empathy for the sick priest? I cannot think that he's a terrible person, I don't want to interact with people like that, but I'm stuck with this person for the rest of my life. Where should I go from here?

TL/DR my brother in law lied and told a sick priest that he had to do the work of two people.

Edit: additional information, BIL had 3 priests at his own wedding, including his FIL who is a church official in a congregation 4 hours away. Possible motivation here, he could have been trying to have his FIL help out with the service for some reason.

quote:

My partner (Chris) and I have been together for over a decade and have had our ups and downs. I want to preface this story with a couple of things that have caused us problems in the past.

First, Chris has a tendency to behave badly when he goes out with me and my friends. We have had so many incidents of this type that my friends now ask if I'm bringing a diaper for him when he's invited to join us. He withdraws, is rude, and will go off alone, basically forcing me to pay exclusive attention to his needs. Chris has been told that he is not obligated to go and should only do so if he really wants to join in and have fun.

Second, Chris has a bad habit of simply disappearing. This has happened many, many times while shopping, at theme parks, and even at people's homes. Once, he disappeared at Home Depot, didn't respond to paging, and I had to walk 3 miles home.

Now onto the main event. This past weekend was my [redacted] birthday and kind of a big deal for me. Chris and I went out to eat on Friday and I planned to go out dancing with my friends on Saturday. I told Chris he was certainly invited to come and have fun with us. The night of, he asked if I wanted him to drop me off. I told him we had covered this and he was welcome to join. It was up to him. Chris decided to go.

We met up with my friends at a show and everything was going fine. All of us decided to leave to go to another venue to do some dancing. Chris wasn't into the music and just sort of stood around with us, but seemed like he was being a good sport. When we went inside to sit down and cool off, everything went wrong.

One of my friends, Kate, is going through a very difficult time with her husband and disclosed to me some private and sensitive information about their relationship. I asked permission to share this with Chris, and was given the green light. Chris was told that this was secret, private, and not to say anything. But, he thinks it would be a great idea to make a joke about it to another person in the group. Kate overheard and asked me to tell him to knock it off, so I told Chris to stop joking about that and he immediately went into withdraw mode. He wouldn't look at anyone, played with my phone, and generally just became silent. I asked him to please not shut down. Kate then confronted Chris herself and he told her that I would have told him about the private matter anyway and that unlike me, he's a locked box. I felt that was pretty disparaging, but I let it go in the hopes of getting him back on board.

Everyone then decided to go back outside to dance and listen to the DJ. I told Chris we were going back out now and followed my friends outside. When we got to our spot, Kate asked where Chris was, and I looked around to find he had disappeared. I gave it about 30 minutes and then went to look for him. This is a pretty big club with about 4 different bars and two dance floors, but I spent about 10 minutes looking everywhere and finding him nowhere. I go back to my friends and figure that he'll come out when he's ready or perhaps he was in the bathroom.

We spend almost an hour dancing outside and Chris never shows up. I tell Kate that maybe he went back to the first club and can everyone split up and look for him. Five of us split up and looked everywhere in the club, but no one could find him. So, we returned to the first club, no Chris. Went back to the dance club, no Chris. Chris also didn't have his phone, so it was impossible to text or call him. I decided that my feet were sore, it was after 2am, and I was ready to go home.

Kate drove me home and I had to scale our privacy fence in heels and a dress, because I had no keys to get into the house. I sat in a chair on the back porch for about 5-10 minutes when the back door opens and there's Chris. He then starts screaming at me about how I left HIM and I'm a bitch. I told him that we looked for him multiple times and couldn't find him. He informs me he was sitting at the bar and all of this is my fault.

I then go to sleep on the floor in our office and he's given me the silent treatment for the past two days. Which is also pretty normal for him to do.

I know that when I confront him about this situation, he isn't going to take responsibility and will somehow twist it so that he's the victim here. Unfortunately for me, this is what I'll remember about my amazing [deleted] birthday. So, what's your take on this Reddit?

tl;dr: Boyfriend ditches me on my [censored] birthday and calls me a bitch for leaving him. What's your take on this?

quote:

My girlfriend recently went on a business trip with her boss. After meeting with their clients for dinner, the two of them headed back to the hotel and had some drinks in the lobby.

I’m completely fine with my girlfriend having one or two drinks with her boss for an hour in the hotel lobby. Not a big deal. Perfectly fine.

The problem was they spent 3+ hours drinking together and she didn’t get back to her hotel room to call me until 11:30 p.m. When she called me, she was totally drunk.

Now I believe her boss crossed the line from “business” into “personal.” He encroached on our personal relationship.

I would never show up at his work and encroach on his business, and if I did I would expect he would address it with me. Likewise, I would hope that he would never encroach on our personal life, and if he does then I have the right to address him professionally, as it now involves me.

Needless to say, I sent him a professional email outlining my concerns. He was lucky I didn’t involve HR as I think it was extremely inappropriate. Do you agree that I was justified in doing so?

Also, what are appropriate boundaries for drinking alone with the boss on a business trip? Is what I outlined above fair? (Number of drinks, time of night, etc.) I would say nothing past 10:00 p.m. as well.

WampaLord posted:

What a year 2016 is where "don't kiss other people" is a weird thing to want in a relationship.

a hole-y ghost posted:

fits my needs posted:

Ghosting is okay if it's an abusive relationship.