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Murphy Brownback posted:There's a guy I work with that practically lives at the office - I can count on one hand the times I've come in or left and he hadn't been at his desk. A couple weeks ago I got called into my boss's office and found out he had been meticulously logging when I came in, when I left and how long my lunch breaks were for over a month. He brought this to my boss (over the head of his own boss) complaining that I was only putting in roughly 8 hour days. I got a half-hearted "back in my day at your stage of this career we put in AT LEAST 80 hour weeks every week and we liked it" speech and was told to try and come in more often (I haven't and don't plan to - I get my work done and the contract only asks for 40 hours a week). If anyone should be in trouble it's him for putting in twice the amount of time for basically the same quality result completed in the same amount of days as I could/do. What a sad little man, Christ.
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Jul 14, 2016 13:54
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HD DAD posted:Small companies owned and run by people with more money than actual business acumen. Lol yes, these can be great fun to work at (for a period of time)
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Jul 14, 2016 14:02
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Murphy Brownback posted:There's a guy I work with that practically lives at the office - I can count on one hand the times I've come in or left and he hadn't been at his desk. A couple weeks ago I got called into my boss's office and found out he had been meticulously logging when I came in, when I left and how long my lunch breaks were for over a month. He brought this to my boss (over the head of his own boss) complaining that I was only putting in roughly 8 hour days. I got a half-hearted "back in my day at your stage of this career we put in AT LEAST 80 hour weeks every week and we liked it" speech and was told to try and come in more often (I haven't and don't plan to - I get my work done and the contract only asks for 40 hours a week). If anyone should be in trouble it's him for putting in twice the amount of time for basically the same quality result completed in the same amount of days as I could/do. When my friend got his first official writeup at his old job(fancy coffee shop) they literally had a binder and multiple pages of his "infractions," one of which included them timing him going to the bathroom one single time then claiming that he took these long bathroom breaks all the time. What the gently caress is wrong with people in this world?
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Jul 14, 2016 14:56
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I think it's a combination of clueless employers who don't really know what it takes for a business to succeed so they focus on meaningless poo poo and forest-for-the-trees
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Jul 14, 2016 15:11
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Professor Shark posted:I think it's a combination of clueless employers who don't really know what it takes for a business to succeed so they focus on meaningless poo poo and forest-for-the-trees This is every managerial position past a certain company size. Sales takes care of the selling, HR takes care of hiring, Procurement takes care of ordering things, there's very little for the management tower to do at this point that isn't actively wreck poo poo that would otherwise work fine or annoy workers with inane policy because they read a book by some hack or went to a seminar by some hack.
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Jul 14, 2016 15:18
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Zzulu posted:Where do u guys work where ur bosses tell you about their whores and steroid abuse The U.S. Army!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxfwEk4ItIw&index=14&list=LLy1GDK2ZYTwvh1h7UashS_g Seriously, Petreus is like a sexless freak compared to the other generals in our military.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:00
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Murphy Brownback posted:There's a guy I work with that practically lives at the office - I can count on one hand the times I've come in or left and he hadn't been at his desk. A couple weeks ago I got called into my boss's office and found out he had been meticulously logging when I came in, when I left and how long my lunch breaks were for over a month. He brought this to my boss (over the head of his own boss) complaining that I was only putting in roughly 8 hour days. I got a half-hearted "back in my day at your stage of this career we put in AT LEAST 80 hour weeks every week and we liked it" speech and was told to try and come in more often (I haven't and don't plan to - I get my work done and the contract only asks for 40 hours a week). If anyone should be in trouble it's him for putting in twice the amount of time for basically the same quality result completed in the same amount of days as I could/do. Skip your boss and go straight to HR and complain about the dude. Tell them he is making you "feel uncomfortable." You now have the moral high ground and will win any battle you come up against since you were the first to go to HR. Corporate life is loving lovely, but if you know how to game the system and make it work for you then you can at least make it bearable. So go tattle on him. He'll be forced to leave you alone or get fired.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:07
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Solice Kirsk posted:Skip your boss and go straight to HR and complain about the dude. Tell them he is making you "feel uncomfortable." You now have the moral high ground and will win any battle you come up against since you were the first to go to HR. Corporate life is loving lovely, but if you know how to game the system and make it work for you then you can at least make it bearable. So go tattle on him. He'll be forced to leave you alone or get fired. I'm not sure if we even have a HR department, it's a research institute. Maybe we do but if so it's very uncommonly used. As far as I can tell any and all complaints go to your direct supervisor, unless the complaint is about the supervisor in which case you have to talk to the director. Failing that I think there's a national ombudsman or whatever you can call. In any case, i dont consider it worth my time to figure all that stuff out. As long as this guy stops bugging my boss he's not even a problem.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:18
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Murphy Brownback posted:I'm not sure if we even have a HR department, it's a research institute. Maybe we do but if so it's very uncommonly used. As far as I can tell any and all complaints go to your direct supervisor, unless the complaint is about the supervisor in which case you have to talk to the director. Failing that I think there's a national ombudsman or whatever you can call. The problem is that you've already got a perceived fault and this guy feels like he has free reign to make you his bitch now. If you don't put him on the defensive he'll pull some poo poo again in the future.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:22
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Murphy Brownback posted:There's a guy I work with that practically lives at the office - I can count on one hand the times I've come in or left and he hadn't been at his desk. A couple weeks ago I got called into my boss's office and found out he had been meticulously logging when I came in, when I left and how long my lunch breaks were for over a month. He brought this to my boss (over the head of his own boss) complaining that I was only putting in roughly 8 hour days. I got a half-hearted "back in my day at your stage of this career we put in AT LEAST 80 hour weeks every week and we liked it" speech and was told to try and come in more often (I haven't and don't plan to - I get my work done and the contract only asks for 40 hours a week). If anyone should be in trouble it's him for putting in twice the amount of time for basically the same quality result completed in the same amount of days as I could/do. Why the gently caress is this guy wasting all of his time keeping a log about you instead of actually working?
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Jul 14, 2016 16:23
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notZaar posted:this guy feels like he has free reign to make you his bitch now. If you don't put him on the defensive he'll pull some poo poo again in the future. Yeah, unfortunately you have the most pathetic type of bully, the super passive aggressive kind. He's obviously been grudging against you for a while and is going to feel emboldened by all of this and keep going with it.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:27
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CynCyanide posted:Why the gently caress is this guy wasting all of his time keeping a log about you instead of actually working? I have no idea. Before all this I thought we were OK friends  Whatever the reason I am sure it is incredibly petty and about something I don't even remember doing.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:28
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The Light Eternal posted:I'm an EMS worker and some of my co-workers are very upset because I dared to suggest that being a cop is not as dangerous as we think and that maybe we should fire the murderin' ones. sounds like you are the drama at your workplace
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Jul 14, 2016 16:41
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The Light Eternal posted:I'm an EMS worker and some of my co-workers are very upset because I dared to suggest that being a cop is not as dangerous as we think and that maybe we should fire the murderin' ones. lol you goon, how do you live in North America and not realize that talking about that sort of stuff is socially unacceptable. Every second show on TV has a cop protagonist. People love cops.
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Jul 14, 2016 16:51
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I work in the audit dept at my place and when I don't have anything going on I try and salvage appointments our call center fucks up. I did such a good job at being a decent human being I got pulled into the call center meeting today so the manager could tell everyone what a great job I was doing
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Jul 14, 2016 16:54
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Business Gorillas posted:I work in the audit dept at my place and when I don't have anything going on I try and salvage appointments our call center fucks up. I did such a good job at being a decent human being I got pulled into the call center meeting today so the manager could tell everyone what a great job I was doing DRAAAaaaaAAMAAAaaaAA!
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Jul 14, 2016 16:57
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Solice Kirsk posted:DRAAAaaaaAAMAAAaaaAA! Wanna know the real hosed up thing? I'm getting subway for lunch
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Jul 14, 2016 17:07
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Business Gorillas posted:I work in the audit dept at my place and when I don't have anything going on I try and salvage appointments our call center fucks up. I did such a good job at being a decent human being I got pulled into the call center meeting today so the manager could tell everyone what a great job I was doing How much was your pay raise?
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Jul 14, 2016 17:09
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notZaar posted:How much was your pay raise? I get a bonus for each appt I book so at the end of the week I just get cash between me and the mgr. It's pretty much a beer fund I've only been here for 5 weeks so I imagine I'll get a raise at my 90 day review
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Jul 14, 2016 17:17
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Nice, wish I got a bonus at my job.
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Jul 14, 2016 17:32
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Murphy Brownback posted:There's a guy I work with that practically lives at the office - I can count on one hand the times I've come in or left and he hadn't been at his desk. A couple weeks ago I got called into my boss's office and found out he had been meticulously logging when I came in, when I left and how long my lunch breaks were for over a month. He brought this to my boss (over the head of his own boss) complaining that I was only putting in roughly 8 hour days. I got a half-hearted "back in my day at your stage of this career we put in AT LEAST 80 hour weeks every week and we liked it" speech and was told to try and come in more often (I haven't and don't plan to - I get my work done and the contract only asks for 40 hours a week). If anyone should be in trouble it's him for putting in twice the amount of time for basically the same quality result completed in the same amount of days as I could/do. This is jackpot amazing. Not only does this guy sound seriously devoid of any social sense, your manager sounds like a grade AAA autist for calling you in the second time instead of simply saying "well, yeah, guy, you tracked his hours and then turned him in for working a 40 hour week, so of course he's not going to invite you out."
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Jul 14, 2016 17:53
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This dude I worked with (in corp finance) was really, really interesting. He has an MBA from a really good school and started middle of last year. He was also super weird. Immediately, we could tell that something was off on this guy. Some of the guys at work invited the new guy to their apartment for drinking, bbq, watching sports, and playing video games (stuff that a bunch of single, mid 20's, sorta nerdy professionals do). New Guy sees someone playing Smash Bros, and asks if the guy wants to bet $10 on a game. New Guy smokes the guy at Smash Bros, and then tells the group that he used to be pretty highly ranked in the competitive Smash scene. He takes the guy's $10 anyway, thus completing the hustle. Sorta a dick move for the new guy but OK. Someone mentions that another guy at work is also a good Smash player, and that they should play sometime. Said other guy is a pretty senior manager, middle aged, and has kids in high school. I'll call him The Dad. They bring a Gamecube into a conference room and set up a projector for them to play. The Dad absolutely clobbers New Guy at Smash. Like, running circles around him. Playing 5 life matches without losing a single dude. It was really, really funny. The New Guy smash hustler got put in his place hard. The thing that I'm best at is this dumb thing, but this other guy is way better than me at it as well as being better at many other things. Same guy would rent exotic cars for a weekend and just cruise around the local university trying to pick up girls. It was really expensive too. He also had a girlfriend (briefly), and when they broke up he bought his first gun the same day.  You know how someone you work with will meet their wife and kids for lunch one day and maybe bring them into the office to show them around and introduce them to their boss or something and it's not that weird? This guy did that, but brought in his parents to meet all his coworkers. It was really, really awkward, especially since he was walking up and down the halls and busting into conference rooms interrupting meetings to introduce people to his mom.
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Jul 14, 2016 18:00
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Drunk Nerds posted:This is jackpot amazing. Not only does this guy sound seriously devoid of any social sense, your manager sounds like a grade AAA autist for calling you in the second time instead of simply saying "well, yeah, guy, you tracked his hours and then turned him in for working a 40 hour week, so of course he's not going to invite you out." I think he only did it because there's probably some policy that all complaints need to be discussed with the relevant parties. The second time the tone was more "please placate this idiot so he'll leave me alone even though he's clearly in the wrong" instead of "you did a bad thing".
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Jul 14, 2016 18:14
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Murphy Brownback posted:I think he only did it because there's probably some policy that all complaints need to be discussed with the relevant parties. The second time the tone was more "please placate this idiot so he'll leave me alone even though he's clearly in the wrong" instead of "you did a bad thing". You only have option left. Go into work very very early and start farting on his chair. Just fart on that chair everyday for months and months. Then one day pour a cup of water on that bad boy a few hours before he gets into work and let the accumulated farticles loose!
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Jul 14, 2016 18:21
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Solice Kirsk posted:You only have option left. Go into work very very early and start farting on his chair. Just fart on that chair everyday for months and months. Then one day pour a cup of water on that bad boy a few hours before he gets into work and let the accumulated farticles loose! I've gone in as early as 7 in the morning, he was still there and looked like he was already settled in. Unless I come in at like 4-5am I don't think there's any beating him. He does have his own "special" coffee bean stash with a "for ____'s use only" sticker on it, I could fart on that.
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Jul 14, 2016 18:23
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I finally got to check-off a coworker.
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Jul 14, 2016 18:24
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Murphy Brownback posted:I've gone in as early as 7 in the morning, he was still there and looked like he was already settled in. Unless I come in at like 4-5am I don't think there's any beating him. He does have his own "special" coffee bean stash with a "for ____'s use only" sticker on it, I could fart on that. Yes, fart on the coffee. The freshness seal will be his seal of doom!
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Jul 14, 2016 18:26
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Murphy Brownback posted:I've gone in as early as 7 in the morning, he was still there and looked like he was already settled in. Unless I come in at like 4-5am I don't think there's any beating him. He does have his own "special" coffee bean stash with a "for ____'s use only" sticker on it, I could fart on that. Start getting in at 5:30 and write things down on a clipboard when he walks in But seriously, just go talk to him and ask him what's up.
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Jul 14, 2016 18:27
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Professor Shark posted:Start getting in at 5:30 and write things down on a clipboard when he walks in No. Coffee farts. Do coffee farts.
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Jul 14, 2016 18:30
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Justin Godscock posted:I finally got to check-off a coworker. Does this mean you murdered them, had sex with them, or both (and if so, in what order)?
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Jul 14, 2016 18:34
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one of my interns made a grab for my cock and i smashed his fuckin' fingers with a hammer.
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Jul 14, 2016 18:38
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scott zoloft posted:one of my interns made a grab for my cock and i smashed his fuckin' fingers with a hammer. What do you think the intern was planning on doing, with your cock, had he gotten a hold of it?
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Jul 14, 2016 18:44
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canyoneer posted:This dude I worked with (in corp finance) was really, really interesting. He has an MBA from a really good school and started middle of last year. He was also super weird. Tbf it's easier to have a stupid 30 second convo with him than have autist find out that his boss squashed the complaint. This dude is petty enough that he'd definitely go above said managers head saying he's crushing complaints and he'd be in deep poo poo
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Jul 14, 2016 18:47
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i was teaching my new interns how to play "hot boy" which is when i stick my hand in their mouths and chant "hot boy, hot boy!" and i guess they think that means it's okay to grab my poo poo.
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Jul 14, 2016 18:51
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Minimalist Program posted:What do you think the intern was planning on doing, with your cock, had he gotten a hold of it? The same thing all coworkers do when they grab each other's cocks. Shift them ever so slightly from left to right to make your coworker feel safe and welcomed and to keep him in compliance with the corporate dress code.
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Jul 14, 2016 18:51
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i had to put him in the custodian closet til he stops crying. HR doesn't need to know about any of this. but I might get into even more trouble if they walk by and hear sobbing from the closet and his knuckles are all hosed. i don't want to explain the rules of Hot Boy to HR.
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Jul 14, 2016 19:01
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I love Hot Boy
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Jul 14, 2016 19:53
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A girl at work 3 cubes away put one of those Bath and Body Works plug in oil air fragrance things at her cube. It made a 40 foot radius get a sticky, noxious raspberry vomit smell cloud. I told her to unplug it because I hated it and it was inconsiderate of other people. She laughed. I had to send her an email asking her to get rid of it. She finally did and a handful of people came and thanked me for getting rid of it. Her cube still smells like that, but at least the rest of the building doesn't anymore!
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Jul 14, 2016 19:57
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Here's some drama that will never get resolved. We have a quiet policy in our building, as in no talking loud enough for the people at the next table over to hear you, but this one bitch who's a supervisor of the department in the next workroom over is just loud as gently caress. I can hear every detail of her conversation even with headphones on. A few months ago we had a little office lunch party thing and she popped her head in to tell my supervisor that we all need to keep it down because we were talking at a normal conversational level instead of our usual whisper/mumble that makes me feel like I have hearing loss. I asked a coworker what the deal with her is, and apparently she's sorta friends with someone near the top so she doesn't have to follow the rules.
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Jul 14, 2016 20:25
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My boss (mid 50's dentist) has been going through a Harley phase for the last year or so. He bought a SuperLow 883 first, then after he learned to ride that one, he made that into his wife's bike and bought a huge Ultra Electra Glide something or other. Since his wife is terrified of her bike, he alternates which one he rides to work on pretty much a daily basis. But he went into this hobby whole hog, he wears boots, a custom helmet, and the full leather outfit every day. He joined a weekend motorcycle club and has the huge patch on his back. It doesn't bother me, because I genuinely like the guy (I like the Harley phase more than the MMA/Affliction shirt phase he just came out of, but less than the blues guitar phase he went through before that), but it apparently infuriates a lot of the other techs/admins because they constantly complain behind his back about how much money he wastes on the hobbies and how he could pay us more (we are well paid; comfortable living wage for all full times employees, part timers get good benefits and vacation days). I have a Honda 250 and that I've had since high school and Yamaha Vino scooter that I got in college, both of which I usually only ride to the beach or nearby parks in the summer. My boss has known this for a while since it came up in casual conversation one time when he was showing us pictures of his bikes when he bought them, and he keeps asking me to ride the bike to work some time. I took my car to the dealer last week for routine maintenance and it ended having to stay overnight. I was already home when they called to tell me that, so I told them not to worry about it, and I took my bike to work the next morning. My boss got super hyped and insisted that I go to lunch with him and another guy who's ridden a bike to work for a couple years. It was a nice restaurant and my boss's wife met us there. All in all it was fun, but since that lunch, almost half of the other employees have either refused to speak to me if they don't work directly with me, or been completely icy. I'm not too worried about it though, and my boss knows whats going on because someone anonymously texted his wife that night and told her she better keep an eye on where her man was, because I supposedly left the office for a long lunch on the backseat of his Harley. 
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