- Sex Falcon
- Jun 4, 2013
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Let me tell you about a certain coworker of mine named Ray, who was a dim witted, drunken rear end in a top hat from philly.
-Claimed to have been to Spain, but he was hammered the entire time so he didn't remember any of it.
-Claimed to be able to "sober up" by simply doing pushups and splashing his face with water. Later openly admitted to drinking in the morning before coming into to work.
-Knocked over a couple filing cabinets by doing arm exercises off of them. When confronted with what he had done his response was "I thought that would happen, I shouldn't have supermaned it."
-Randomly mentioned he threw out it his back loving a fat chick.
-Stated that sometimes he thought he could see the future, but at the same time kind of doubted it because one time he crashed his bike into the side of a bus as it was making a corner.
-Had another bike accident in which he ran over someone. The guy was hospitalized, but Ray said it only happened because the guy was a fag.
-Would eat yogurt mixed with onion, garlic, and various spices .
-Also thought the yogurt dish along with greek salads were appropriate car food.
-Would loudly slurp down fruit punch from a gallon container, head tilted back, as you drove down the interstate.
-Once ray was walking outside while the birds were singing. He loudly exclaimed. "shut up birds". The birds immediately silenced themselves and ray happily stated "I like obedient birds" .
-Decided that urinating in an open field directly across from a shopping center, whilst standing next to a company vehicle complete with logo, was a wiser idea than waiting five minutes and using the restroom at the next jobsite.
-Again refused to wait till arriving at jobsite to use restroom. Without prior warning he jumped out of the vehicle while waiting at a railroad crossing and ran to a nearby burger king.
-Claimed he only wrecked his car, because after doing so many pushups the previous day, his arms were too tired to turn the wheel,
-While waiting for security clearance inside a sky scrapper loading dock, Ray thought it would perfectly fine to talk about terrorism and that security wouldn't mind if he cracked open his hard boiled eggs on the edge of their desks.
Sounds like he posts in GBS tbqh
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Jul 7, 2016 17:01
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