A Terrible Idea - Let's Play The Political Machine 2016!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > A Terrible Idea - Let's Play The Political Machine 2016!

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SporkOfTruth: Sep 1, 2006; this kid walked up to me and was like man schmitty your stache is ghetto and I was like whatever man your 3b look like a dishrag.

he was like damn.

A New Page, A New Vote for Diamond Joe.
I hope we get Jim Webb as veep so we can use the tagline Biden/Webb: One Rectum, Two Honkys.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 03:34

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 14:46

ajkalan: Aug 17, 2011

You have to fight fire with fire, so I'm picking professed killer Jim Webb to go against Ted Cruz.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 03:42

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

SporkOfTruth posted:

A New Page, A New Vote for Diamond Joe.
I hope we get Jim Webb as veep so we can use the tagline Biden/Webb: One Rectum, Two Honkys.

Biden/Webb '16: Rectum? No, killed 'em. *^{^{Literally. Look it up. Jim Webb killed a man in 'Nam.}}

EDIT: Also, when this run wraps up, can we run a custom ticket of Michael Wilson/Richard Hawk from Metal Wolf Chaos? :allears:

nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 03:52 on Jul 10, 2016

# ? Jul 10, 2016 03:43

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

nine-gear crow posted:

EDIT: Also, when this run wraps up, can we run a custom ticket of Michael Wilson/Richard Hawk from Metal Wolf Chaos?

Yes! We should definitely have a Metal Wolf Chaos prequel campaign at some point.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 03:53

DropsySufferer: Nov 9, 2008; Impractical practicality

Why is the game letting us pick former US presidents who are no longer allowed to run for president. :confused:

Are they meant to be vice presidential candidates maybe?

Michelle Obama

# ? Jul 10, 2016 04:02

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

In this timeline Nazi Manchurian candidate Henry Ford becomes president before the Great Depression, making FDR lose his first two terms in office (though he wins in '40 and still wins WWII). As such, no amendment to the constitution is made, allowing Barack Super-Allah the Islamic Shock Obama to ~~win~~ steal a third term and institute 1000 years of liberal darkness upon all mankind.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 04:44

KirbyKhan: Mar 20, 2009; Soiled Meat

Here's another vote for Jim Webb. A candidate that I only saw one thing posted about back in the early days of Primary Chat: "HOLY loving poo poo JIM WEBB KILLED A DUDE

The only one who could face a Ted Cruz is someone who has also faced to bloodshed.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 05:19

Herr Tog: Jun 18, 2011; Grimey Drawer

nine-gear crow posted:

Biden/Webb '16: Rectum? No, killed 'em. *^{^{Literally. Look it up. Jim Webb killed a man in 'Nam.}}

EDIT: Also, when this run wraps up, can we run a custom ticket of Michael Wilson/Richard Hawk from Metal Wolf Chaos?

Yes, if you join me in voting to Michelle Obama, This about it everyone we get the gender poo poo and the experiance that Hilary does but none of the baggage! Also she may have killed someone.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 06:38

Krysmphoenix: Jul 29, 2010

The mere idea of Michelle Obama running for president amuses me to no end.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 06:55

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

Michelle Obama so that Republicans can have an even bigger aneurysm when she wins

# ? Jul 10, 2016 07:00

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

nine-gear crow posted:

Just out of curiosity, are we rooting for Team Zodiac Pizza to actually win the election, or are we gonna run the most purposefully abysmal campaign in history to keep them out of the White House?

Yes.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 07:12

Soral: May 30, 2009

jim webb

# ? Jul 10, 2016 07:44

Grapplejack: Nov 27, 2007

DropsySufferer posted:

Why is the game letting us pick former US presidents who are no longer allowed to run for president. Are they meant to be vice presidential candidates maybe?

Once you've served two terms you're ineligible for either office. I'm vaguely certain that it prevents you from being Speaker of the House / Secretary of State as well (due to succession rules) but I don't believe those scenarios have ever been discussed. Or they'd just skip them and go to the next candidate, but at that point why are you bothering to be VP

The reason they're in the game is because of fun reasons :v:

# ? Jul 10, 2016 07:48

habituallyred: Feb 6, 2015

Joe Biden

# ? Jul 10, 2016 08:59

MercurialOne: Feb 28, 2016

Jim Webb

# ? Jul 10, 2016 09:16

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

nine-gear crow posted:

EDIT: Also, when this run wraps up, can we run a custom ticket of Michael Wilson/Richard Hawk from Metal Wolf Chaos?

I'll make a note of it, and will put it up to vote after this run - of course, everything has to be voted on! It's the democratic way!

Tally:

code:

Jim Webb:           IIIIIIIIIIII
Joe Biden:          IIIIIIIIIII
Michelle Obama:     IIIIIIIIII
Barack Obama:       IIIIIIIII
Martin O'Malley:    III
Lincoln Chafee:     II
Al Franken:         II
Michael Bloomberg:  I
Al Gore:            I

The surge is real!

# ? Jul 10, 2016 12:37

The T: May 29, 2010; A sufficiently chaotic system is maximally fair.

Well, time for me to officially jump over from Barack to Michelle.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 13:21

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

The race tightens, switching my vote from Biden to Michelle.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 13:26

Odysseus S. Grant: Oct 12, 2011; Cats is the oldest and strongest emotion
of mankind

Changing my vote from Biden to Michelle.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 14:19

Podima: Nov 4, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Michelle Obama is our foe in this campaign!

# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:44

Double May Care: Mar 28, 2012; We need Dragon-type Pokemon to help us prepare our food before we cook it. We're not sure why!

Michelle Hussein Obama :colbert:

# ? Jul 10, 2016 15:59

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Alright, looks like we have a winner!

code:

Michelle Obama:     IIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Jim Webb:           IIIIIIIIIIII
Joe Biden:          IIIIIIIII
Barack Obama:       IIIIIIII
Martin O'Malley:    III
Lincoln Chafee:     II
Al Franken:         II
Michael Bloomberg:  I
Al Gore:            I

So Ted Cruz will be going up against Michelle Obama in our 2016 election! Now, I need to start that game and grab some numbers for you to look at, so before we get to that, I need one more question answered regarding gameplay behavior.

Political Opportunities: This game has something it calls "political opportunities". Essentially, they're question marks that pop up in a state, and the first one that gets to that state gets the reward, be it beneficial or not. So, for instance, you could get somebody that reduces the cost of ad buys in a particular state, which is great! You could get somebody that increases fundraising revenue in a particular state, which is also sweet! You could get somebody who modifies all your issue ratings in a random direction, which is... "neutral", I guess? It can be both beneficial and not at the same time, really. Alternatively, you could get hit with a lawsuit that just automatically drains funds from your treasury, which is horrible. Or you could get hit with the "time waster", an ancient crone of a politician that just jabbers on for so long your entire stamina gets drained and your turn is wasted. Now, there's a way you can see whether they're positive or not, but I don't know how it works. It revolves around building a particular building, but I never worked out how to make it work for me consistently. If I do get to see that one is positive, I'll immediately nab it, and if I see that it isn't, I'll ignore it. What I need from you is some instruction on what I should do with the neutral ones. We have two options:

A) Immediately go for it. This means that on turns with political opportunities, you'll have one less stamina point to work with, as I'll immediately grab that opportunity before the AI gets a chance to get it. This might cause us to lose a turn or something similarly bad, so on your head be it. On the other hand, a good opportunity falling into the opponent's hands could be a gamechanger...
B) Wait and see. This means that on turns with political opportunities, I will see if the opponent takes it, and if not, I'll tell you and you make the decision on a per-case basis. This allows more control, but the AI will always get dibs, which might not be to your liking.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 16:32

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Go for it.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 16:34

Rarity: Oct 21, 2010; ~*4 LIFE*~

Reupublicans did not get to where they are by being idle. Take those chances

# ? Jul 10, 2016 16:37

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Republicans did not get where they are by being conservative. Grab all the opportunities.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 16:38

CirclMastr: Jul 4, 2010

Always Be Capitalizing on opportunities.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 16:45

GenderSelectScreen: Mar 7, 2010; I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME; College Slice

The Zodiac Killer took his time when seeking out his next target. Wait and See

# ? Jul 10, 2016 16:59

habituallyred: Feb 6, 2015

A Opportunism is ours for the taking.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 17:25

Sally: Jan 9, 2007; Don't post Small Dash!

Be opportunistic.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 17:36

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Remember that county clerk who got thrown in jail because she wouldn't do the gay marriage thing whose name I can't remember?

Remember how there was a big political event when she was released from jail?

Remember how Ted Cruz wasn't on stage with her?

Yeah, he's not making that mistake again. Go for it.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 17:49

frankenfreak: Feb 16, 2007; I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Ted Cruz is nothing if not opportunistic.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 18:21

Torrannor: Apr 27, 2013; ---FAGNER---
TEAM-MATE

The invisible hand of the market will guide us, go for it.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 18:23

shibbotech: Aug 21, 2014; I'm Doctor Shibbo, and this is Jackass.; Nap Ghost

The universe is chaos, but chaos plays favorites. Grab those opportunities

# ? Jul 10, 2016 19:27

StoneOfShame: Jul 28, 2013; This is the best kitchen ever.

Grab all the opportunities Ted Cruz is not the sort to miss an opportunity.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 19:59

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Opportunistic.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 20:45

Seraphic Neoman: Jul 19, 2011

Opportunity
Ted Cruz didn't push a woman off a stage cause he was careful, so there's no reason we should be!

# ? Jul 10, 2016 21:46

Frogfingers: Oct 10, 2012

Wait.
A mugger picks targets of opportunity. A mastermind like the Zodiac Killer bides his time and gets to know his opponent before he strikes. We need that stamina to outmanoeuvre the enemy.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 22:20

ricdesi: Mar 18, 2014; Does it really need saying?

Roll the dice and go in blind. Bring scissors for the note.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 23:20

ManicVolcanic: Jun 5, 2016

Remember, we need to play to our opponent. Michelle Obama has been trying to get children to be active for years, and is likely to bring that activity to her campaign. We need to pick up those opportunities first before she can.

# ? Jul 10, 2016 23:21

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 14:46

Ignatius M. Meen: May 26, 2011; Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

Grab all the opportunities. After all Ted didn't check the wind before leading the charge to shut down the government, why would he do that on the campaign trail?

# ? Jul 11, 2016 02:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > A Terrible Idea - Let's Play The Political Machine 2016!

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