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At the point where hard-boiled detective fiction meets talking animals is a cafe. In that cafe there is most likely Salmmy. He spends most days drinking coffee and avoiding doing anything, but when the fate of the world, more or less, hangs in the balance he reluctantly sets down the mug and picks up his gun... I'll admit that the very concept for the book sounds like the fever dream of a madman but it's pretty goddamn entertaining regardless. Salmmy is available for free on Amazon all day weekend, and really I can assure you that at that price it is at least worth buying if not reading. https://www.amazon.com/Salmmy-Crescent-1-Tim-Schaub/dp/1519634048
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Jul 13, 2016 14:20
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 20:13 |
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Hi Tim
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Jul 13, 2016 14:47
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Strong sense of deja vu here.
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Jul 13, 2016 18:48
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better than tao lin
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Jul 13, 2016 19:32
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Also did you just gently caress up typing Sammy and refuse to back down or what
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Jul 13, 2016 19:39
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Mel Mudkiper posted:Also did you just gently caress up typing Sammy and refuse to back down or what It's obviously derived from Salamander, uncultured swine.
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Jul 13, 2016 21:13
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Bandiet posted:It's obviously derived from Salamander, uncultured swine. Sal would probably be a better name then
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Jul 13, 2016 21:30
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End Of Worlds posted:better than tao lin funny
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Jul 14, 2016 00:31
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The Vagabond posted:it's pretty goddamn entertaining regardless. I don't think this is true.
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Jul 14, 2016 02:18
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I think its very interesting the person who drew that cover wanted credit for it
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Jul 14, 2016 02:46
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OP, your post was too long and boring, what makes you think I'm going to get through the first page of your book
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Jul 14, 2016 03:33
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Mel Mudkiper posted:I think its very interesting the person who drew that cover wanted credit for it it was me. i drew it. please fund my patreon
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Jul 14, 2016 05:01
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The Vagabond posted:it's pretty goddamn entertaining regardless. A human heart posted:I don't think this is true. I am tempted to agree, thematically the protagonist told me the story then called me a liar in the forward... So screw that guy. Bandiet posted:It's obviously derived from Salamander, uncultured swine. Oddly enough it isn't, he explains it at some point in the book. anilEhilated posted:Strong sense of deja vu here. I pretty much post here every time the book is going on sale (Free) because over the years goons have given me a lot of free poo poo, mostly on EVE
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Jul 14, 2016 10:21
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 new avatar please
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Jul 15, 2016 01:17
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:
Two observations: Hat has no hole in the bottom Hat is actually hovering a foot behind Salmmy
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Jul 15, 2016 01:23
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I'm hungry for salami now.
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Jul 15, 2016 07:43
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How much did the Batman the Animated Series font cost?
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Jul 15, 2016 08:08
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Lightning Lord posted:How much did the Batman the Animated Series font cost? I don't know which font you mean... I've never seen the show. Is it the same as my title font? if so those cheap bastards used a stock msword font, and I know because I am also a cheap bastard who did exactly that.
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Jul 15, 2016 14:09
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I'll admit that the very concept for the book sounds like the fever dream of a madman but it's pretty goddamn entertaining regardless.
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Jul 17, 2016 03:44
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leaving a 1 star review on your own book is pretty drat stupid
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Jul 17, 2016 10:24
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I've actually got it and it's pretty entertaining so far, but I feel I have to ask: did a rogue comma murder someone close to you? I'm not a native English speaker so it might be just me, but what I've read so far feels really short on those.
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Jul 17, 2016 20:30
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Bardeh posted:leaving a 1 star review on your own book is pretty drat stupid Fair enough, check the reviews I left a 1 star myself anilEhilated posted:I've actually got it and it's pretty entertaining so far, but I feel I have to ask: did a rogue comma murder someone close to you? I'm not a native English speaker so it might be just me, but what I've read so far feels really short on those. It might be... Let's call it a stylistic choice.
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Jul 18, 2016 11:09
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Is the book being a pile of poo poo also a stylistic choice?
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Jul 18, 2016 11:17
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The Vagabond posted:Fair enough, check the reviews I left a 1 star myself Yeah, I saw. It's directly counter-productive. Most people aren't going to read the funny joke, they're going to see a 1 star review and it may well turn them off from buying your book. You've also tanked your overall review average, which will turn plenty of people off from ever clicking it in the first place. Come over to the self-pub thread in CC and we'll give you some actual advice along with the snark. Bardeh fucked around with this message at 14:24 on Jul 18, 2016 |
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Jul 18, 2016 14:19
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Bardeh posted:Yeah, I saw. It's directly counter-productive. Most people aren't going to read the funny joke, they're going to see a 1 star review and it may well turn them off from buying your book. Come over to the self-pub thread in CC and we'll give you some actual advice along with the snark. Or stay in this thread and receive even better advice like "stop"
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Jul 18, 2016 14:24
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Mel Mudkiper posted:Or stay in this thread and receive even better advice like "stop" eh, it's not my thing but I'm sure it's some people's thing. If the book was packaged and marketed better than a 12 year old could do, it might actually sell some copies.
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Jul 18, 2016 14:26
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Bardeh posted:I'm sure it's some people's thing. I aggressively challenge this assertion
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Jul 18, 2016 15:27
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Lunchmeat Larry posted:
I find this drawing strangely charming honestly
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Jul 20, 2016 06:24
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 20:13 |
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Bardeh posted:Yeah, I saw. It's directly counter-productive. Most people aren't going to read the funny joke, they're going to see a 1 star review and it may well turn them off from buying your book. You've also tanked your overall review average, which will turn plenty of people off from ever clicking it in the first place. Come over to the self-pub thread in CC and we'll give you some actual advice along with the snark. The way Amazon ratings work, pretty much everything that isn't at least a solid 4 stars is probably a dumpster fire, because 5 stars is the sort of default "this was acceptable, no complaints" rating. The worst book I've ever read has a 3.5 rating with 43% of the overall reviews being 1 or 2 stars. I don't know how bad you'd have to be to end up with a 2 star rating, because I've never seen one. Because of that, I usually set it to only show 4 star ratings and above when I am looking for new books, so this dude's joke review just ensured that I'll never even see his book.
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Jul 20, 2016 07:38
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