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Hi! My life is over. I used to have ambitions and desires (sexual and otherwise) but none of that matters now. I am the slave of a creature that can as yet neither walk nor speak, and that will be true until I am dead. My child is a parasite that has invaded my life. I live for it. I would like to say that I am upset about this, but, really, I wasn't doing anything of any particular consequence with my life, so I might as well start a family. My wife seems to like it. I'm going to look at porn now.
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Jul 17, 2016 05:30
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:23 |
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Jul 17, 2016 05:37
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Well jesus, love that Bundy, god bless. #Blezsed
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Jul 17, 2016 05:38
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Jul 17, 2016 05:40
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Jul 17, 2016 05:40
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Ahhh.. no Peg.
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Jul 17, 2016 05:40
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*flushes toilet
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Jul 17, 2016 05:41
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I would get my goddamned self pregnant if I could. 
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Jul 17, 2016 05:48
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Love and marriage Love and marriage Go together like a horse and carriage
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Jul 17, 2016 05:55
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Cuckoo posted:Love and marriage A horse is a creature that should be running around the countryside, free and strong, not slowly clopping down a street, pulling some lardasses too lazy to walk. About sums it up, I think.
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Jul 17, 2016 05:57
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Horniest Manticore posted:A horse is a creature that should be running around the countryside, free and strong, not slowly clopping down a street, pulling some lardasses too lazy to walk. 
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Jul 17, 2016 05:57
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:I would get my goddamned self pregnant if I could. no don't
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Jul 17, 2016 05:58
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ANIME IS BLOOD posted:no don't Alright. 
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Jul 17, 2016 06:01
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gently caress off with ur old rear end tv reference op
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Jul 17, 2016 06:02
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I'm the first husband neighbor no one can even name.
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Jul 17, 2016 06:02
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Did you smell up the bathroom?
Crowsbeak fucked around with this message at 06:16 on Jul 17, 2016 |
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Jul 17, 2016 06:02
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Time to go to the nudie bar.
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Jul 17, 2016 06:06
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*wears a NO MA'AM shirt with Jefferson, the good, new neighbor husband*
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Jul 17, 2016 06:08
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good job. this is what happens when you live like a normie idiot and ignore all the warning signs posted along the way. next you'll need to Return To Jesus (if you haven't already)
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Jul 17, 2016 06:09
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Horniest Manticore posted:A horse is a creature that should be running around the countryside, free and strong, not slowly clopping down a street, pulling some lardasses too lazy to walk. Even horses get "put out to stud". What a life. 
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Jul 17, 2016 06:11
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VendaGoat posted:Even horses get "put out to stud". All a husband gets are those moments before sleep, when he remembers that girl who sat in front of him in Biology class. He remembers that one day junior year when he passed her in the cafeteria and she gave him a sudden, genuine smile. Her eyes widened. They lit up. That's what they mean when they say someone's eyes light up -- they mean Sarah's eyes. He knew at the time that she liked him, and he certainly liked her. But he was nervous, so he never asked. That beautiful girl could have had anyone she wanted, and at one point in time she wanted him. It seems absurd to him now as sleep begins to overtake him. He should look her up on Facebook, he thinks just before dreams set in. He should see what she's doing now. In the morning, he's forgotten all about her.
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Jul 17, 2016 06:18
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*is the 8th rendition of the family dog to be on the cast*
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Jul 17, 2016 06:18
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Horniest Manticore posted:All a husband gets are those moments before sleep, when he remembers that girl who sat in front of him in Biology class. He remembers that one day junior year when he passed her in the cafeteria and she gave him a sudden, genuine smile. Her eyes widened. They lit up. That's what they mean when they say someone's eyes light up -- they mean Sarah's eyes. He knew at the time that she liked him, and he certainly liked her. But he was nervous, so he never asked. No, Peg. No. 
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Jul 17, 2016 06:20
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Tale as old as time True as it can be
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Jul 17, 2016 06:21
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where have I read this one before?
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Jul 17, 2016 06:23
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That time they adopted their cousin or whatever that got abandoned at some family thing or something. There was a kid named Seven. The hell was up with that? A Blossom rip off? No wonder this got canceled.
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Jul 17, 2016 06:25
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Ruggan posted:where have I read this one before? In your own heart, friend. Your own heart.
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Jul 17, 2016 06:25
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Hrist posted:I'm the first husband neighbor no one can even name. Steve Darcy?
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Jul 17, 2016 07:03
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Hi my child destroyed my marriage but is more awesome and more important than anything I could ever have hoped to come from my life on this planet.
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Jul 17, 2016 07:08
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rio posted:Hi my child destroyed my marriage but is more awesome and more important than anything I could ever have hoped to come from my life on this planet. thats actually the delusional coping mechanism and thought process your brain has elaborately tricked itself with to stave off the immense despair that would come from openly acknowledging the true immensity of your missteps
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Jul 17, 2016 07:12
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rio posted:Hi my child destroyed my marriage but is more awesome and more important than anything I could ever have hoped to come from my life on this planet. I think the OP's problem, though, is that he hadn't already failed at his dreams before having a child.
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Jul 17, 2016 07:13
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a2wEMeKJ7g
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Jul 17, 2016 07:13
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NO MA'AM *is married to a girly lookin dude*
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Jul 17, 2016 07:16
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Just no. I hate this poo poo. NO.
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Jul 17, 2016 07:16
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So you think I'm a loser? Just because I have a stinking job that I hate, a family that doesn't respect me, a whole city that curses the day I was born? Well, that may mean loser to you, but let me tell you something. Every morning when I wake up, I know it's not going to get any better until I go back to sleep again. So I get up, have my watered-down Tang and still-frozen Pop Tart, get in my car with no upholstery, no gas, and six more payments to fight traffic just for the privilege of putting cheap shoes on the cloven hooves of people like you. I'll never play football like I thought I would. I'll never know the touch of a beautiful woman. And I'll never again know the joy of driving without a bag on my head. But I'm not a loser. 'Cause, despite it all, me and every other guy who'll never be what he wanted to be are still out there being what we don't want to be forty hours a week for life. And the fact that I haven't put a gun in my mouth, you pudding of a woman, makes me a winner.
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Jul 17, 2016 07:23
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Someone please save me from my really hot wife who wants to have sex with me all the time
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Jul 17, 2016 11:19
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Heh sorry looks like I was living through a television program there for a moment -- you see I'm what the kids these days call a "le forever alone face man"
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Jul 17, 2016 11:25
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i'm bud bundy irl ama
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Jul 17, 2016 11:37
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Horniest Manticore posted:I am the slave of a creature that can as yet neither walk nor speak, and that will be true until I am dead. Wait are you dying soon or did you get one of those nqr babies?
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Jul 17, 2016 11:48
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 23:23 |
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are you my scumbag brother
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Jul 17, 2016 11:51
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