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  • Locked thread
Nut to Butt
Apr 13, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Nathilus posted:

Pick a century and I'll give you horrors to melt your loving brain.

22nd century AD

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Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

JFairfax posted:

I like this thread

Thanks! I'm quite excited it has been stickied. Not only does this enhance my personal gbs prestige, but I'm also glad to be able to get the word out that the people in the vatican are all scum and as close to personified evil as exists in today's world!

JFairfax
Oct 23, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
I am phone posting now but later will do a bit of an effort post about the Catholic church in Ireland.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

JFairfax posted:

I am phone posting now but later will do a bit of an effort post about the Catholic church in Ireland.

The Roman Catholic church in Ireland is 100% the same as everything in Ireland. poo poo.

subhuman filth
Nov 1, 2006

Monstrous Dooklord posted:

Christianity is a mushroom/fertility cult that began in the cow worshiping regions of the far east. It was high jacked by Jewish esoterics and it's teachings wrapped in play on words and references to the amanita muscaria so they could practice it in secret from the Romans. The cult became so popular it overshadowed the esoteric Judaism in popularity and through the coded writings it eventually became mainstream. Sometime around the turn of the century high level free masons took over the Catholic Church and it has become pretty much a defunct vault to gather the worlds holy relics/gold/and artwork for???

tell me more

plain blue jacket
Jan 13, 2014

IT DOESN'T STOP
IT NEVER STOPS

Drink Cheerwine posted:

22nd century AD

I like the cut of your jib!

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Drink Cheerwine posted:

22nd century AD

Pope Treilhard II is murdered and replaced by antipope/antichrist Lenar Hoyt, who then crowns himself Julius IV. Julius immediately begins offering the alien symbiotes found on Hyperion as a final sacrament that can ensure near-eternal physical life. Over the next few hundred years, the newly reborn church and it's Pax spread to nearly all of humanity under the leadership of their constantly dying and reborn leader. The depths of his treachery and the deceit of the symbiotes is not known until later, of course.

School Nickname
Apr 23, 2010

*fffffff-fffaaaaaaarrrtt*
:ussr:

Nathilus posted:


WELCOME TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH!

This pic is bitchin' and as a catholic I approve of grand, bitchin' art. At least our churches look nice instead of looking like hotels or stadia. Though there is some gaudy-rear end church in Spain that's taken more than a century to build.

tenspott
Aug 1, 2002

by FactsAreUseless

Nathilus posted:

It's been said in this thread before but when you are talking about the laypeople, yeah there are much worse religions. But the leadership of the catholic church is on this whole other level of being evil that no other church leadership can touch if only because they have the largest apparatus to play with.

Lol you're a retard. The United States has literally created a criminal client state in the desert for Jews to fulfill the bizarre fantasies of psychotic evangelicals yearning for the Apocalypse.

I AM THE TOILET
Jul 11, 2016
religion, huh? *snirks, adjusts sleeve cuffs* well, depends on your definiton of "RELIGION"

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

tenspott posted:

Lol you're a retard. The United States has literally created a criminal client state in the desert for Jews to fulfill the bizarre fantasies of psychotic evangelicals yearning for the Apocalypse.

Oh christ a diehard anti-israel person. As bad as Israel can be to certain people, it is still not literally a worldwide pedophilia ring. It hasn't taken peoples' money on knowingly false pretenses for generations. It hasn't stashed god knows how much art and history as though the history of the human race belongs to it. It may torture and kill like the catholic church has done, but there is a mismatch of scale because Israel is new and small compared to the catholic dominion.

Yeah ok israel bad whatever. Niggas STILL can't hold a loving candle.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Nathilus posted:

Oh christ a diehard anti-israel person. As bad as Israel can be to certain people, it is still not literally a worldwide pedophilia ring. It hasn't taken peoples' money on knowingly false pretenses for generations. It hasn't stashed god knows how much art and history as though the history of the human race belongs to it. It may torture and kill like the catholic church has done, but there is a mismatch of scale because Israel is new and small compared to the catholic dominion.

Yeah ok israel bad whatever. Niggas STILL can't hold a loving candle.

The jokes on them since everyone knows that Islam is just a fake religion created and maintained by the Catholic Church, anyway.

ColtMcAsskick
Nov 7, 2010

Nathilus posted:

Oh christ a diehard anti-israel person. As bad as Israel can be to certain people, it is still not literally a worldwide pedophilia ring. It hasn't taken peoples' money on knowingly false pretenses for generations. It hasn't stashed god knows how much art and history as though the history of the human race belongs to it. It may torture and kill like the catholic church has done, but there is a mismatch of scale because Israel is new and small compared to the catholic dominion.

Yeah ok israel bad whatever. Niggas STILL can't hold a loving candle.

Sorry dude, I think your racist against priests

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

ColtMcAsskick posted:

Sorry dude, I think your racist against priests

Yeah I admit it. I dislike sexually active pedophiles. :colbert: Also unlike the first, this second isn't true of all priests, I'm sure that many are true believers or want to be; but I also dislike people who cynically use another's need for faith against them.

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing


Nathilus posted:

Thanks! I'm quite excited it has been stickied. Not only does this enhance my personal gbs prestige, but I'm also glad to be able to get the word out that the people in the vatican are all scum and as close to personified evil as exists in today's world!

'Eh. They're not quite that evil. I'd take a Bishop over a CEO.

Gamer With Dignity
May 15, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo

Nathilus posted:


WELCOME TO THE CATHOLIC CHURCH!

I love the original caption on this btw. "Just the pope hanging out in front of a statue of Jesus." :shrug:


Some papal sculptor just utterly nailed the soul of Pius XII in this sculpture. Note the complete lack of one.

Anyway we all know about every single catholic priest's devotion to little boys but that's just the tip of the iceburg. Pick a century and I'll give you horrors to melt your loving brain. The whole mess is one giant pile of atrocities and utter smallmindedness/selfishness going back nearly 2000 loving years. The vatican should be carefully sacked (too much hidden history in there for a nuke unfortunately) and all remaining non-monastic clergy monitored, merely as a housekeeping measure for the good of all mankind.

Those are both really cool pieces of art.

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
I worked off a traffic ticket in college doing office work for a catholic school. They gave me a cheat sheet for what year of student should be scheduled for whatever rituals or steps in their catholicness so i could make sure all the student records were updated accordingly and ones that were ready for their next step of whatever could be flagged. Apparently this is something actual catholics know intrinsically. It seemed very complicated.

They were very nice

whoflungpoop
Sep 9, 2004

With you and the constellations
other than that i dont know much about catholics so i pretend that A Canticle For Leibowitz is canon

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

whoflungpoop posted:

They were very nice

DON'T LET THEM FOOL YOU. Clergy are trained to seem kindly. But a smile in front doesn't preclude a dagger behind the back.

I AM THE TOILET
Jul 11, 2016
think about this: religion is an opiate for the masses

what's an opiate

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
I liked going to catholic schools growing up we all drank a lot and always did respectable in 3a football playoffs and no priest or brother ever tried to gently caress me and our sister school girls were fun

would go to Christian brothers school again

DustyNuts
Jun 1, 2000

Have you seen me?

No Sagrada Familia?







edit: ¿Sagrada Familia No?

DustyNuts fucked around with this message at 03:07 on Jul 24, 2016

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord
after not giving a poo poo about Catholics or portestants my entire life, i read this thread (sorry for the poo poo posts earlier I am a changed man now) and a post by Stiffy the Bummer really changed my outlook on life:

Zippy the Bummer posted:

Luther was an idiot obsessed with poo poo (literally human feces) and farting

I start fartin' school at my local Lutheran church this sunday. Wish me luck goons!!!!

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

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SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.
The Bostan by the 13th century Persian poet Saadi is an infinitely better moral guide than the confusing and often terrible stuff that Jesus said

but Saadi made the classic beginner's error of never claiming to be inspired by God, so in the trash it goes

Gamer With Dignity
May 15, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo

Nathilus posted:

As bad as Israel can be to certain people, it is still not literally a worldwide pedophilia ring.

They call it Hollywood.

Captain Splashback
Jan 1, 2007

BY APPOINTMENT TO HER MAJESTY
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
SPLASHBACK HOLDINGS LTD
PUCKINS AND PRINTERS PURVEYORS
I like this thread and the OP. Not the OP-OP, but the OP's OP.

I'm also full of liquor and chips.

This quote is surprisingly apt for all the Catholics I know:

The Tao Jones posted:

The Catholics I've met have been an odd bunch. Their intricate knowledge of one of the most complex and prohibitive moral codes of any Christian sect has been exceeded only by their indifference about following it to even the slightest degree.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

I've known two observant catholics and one started going to a methodist church because her husband went there and the other converted to islam to bang some pakistani guy she imported that was her daughters age so checks out I guess

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

the daughters father was some married guy also

Captain Splashback
Jan 1, 2007

BY APPOINTMENT TO HER MAJESTY
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
SPLASHBACK HOLDINGS LTD
PUCKINS AND PRINTERS PURVEYORS
The Vatican has a monopoly on a significant portion of the world's history. They should be compelled to release it all in its entirety. Faith notwithstanding.

tag youre fat
Aug 16, 2013

C'est l'homme ideal
charme au masculin
I went to a Catholic private school. They were pretty chill about the whole thing, we went to mass during the day a few times a year and we watched films in religion (funnily enough watching Cool Hand Luke was one of the first times I thought "Wow, those guys are hot"). A few priests lived in their own wing of the school but they minded their own business for the most part, the only day to day involvement they had was organising charity events. However, one teacher in particular, Ms. Wall was VERY Catholic. She was the only teacher left to start class with a prayer and insisted the class follow along. She was usually kept away from religion classes but sometimes she'd see a class without a teacher and take an opportunity to give us some good Catholic schooling.

This was around two years ago and abortion was once again a big issue in Ireland. One of the most important events in the history of abortion in Ireland was the X Case in 1992. A 14 year old girl known only as X was raped by her neighbour. When she threatened to commit suicide after becoming pregnant her family tried to bring her to England to get an abortion,but the state prevented them from leaving the country. The Supreme Court decided X had the right to an abortion due to the risk to her own life.

The facts of the case are pretty clear. It is a fact that X was raped by neighbour. In fact, that neighbour was later convicted of raping another teenage girl as well. It is a fact that X was willing to commit suicide if she was forced to carry the pregnancy to term. Ms. Wall didn't like those facts though. She told the class that she actually knew X. She claimed she had lived just around the corner from her. Ms. Wall knew the truth, that X was, in her own words, "A bit of a wild child". When her parents discovered X was pregnant, they decided they could use this situation as a way to bring "Abortion on demand" to Ireland. Ms. Wall insisted this was the truth.

What really scares me when I think about it is one of the other lads' reaction to it. He ate every word of it up, believed it all without question. This lad is from a pretty important family. Both his parents are fairly senior political and judicial figures and he's destined for either Parliament or the courts. He's possibly going to wield significant power in this country and he happily believes this poo poo and god knows what else.

gently caress you Ms. Wall, you wretched old oval office.

e:four paragraphs in gbs, kill me now

Zippy the Bummer
Dec 14, 2008

Silent Majority
The Don
LORD COMMANDER OF THE UKRAINIAN ARMED FORCES
Popes used to be a lot cooler, like Julius III (?) that wore armor and led armies into battle and personally killed dudes on the battlefield.

I know several priests personally. One in particular is a super cool dude, he's enormously fat and makes a bitchin dolmas (stuffed grape leaves) i think he's Syrian by ancestry. He comes by a couple times a year and he and my brother an I all get very drunk

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


Guy I went to high school with is a Jesuit. He smokes me out occasionally.

nigga crab pollock
Mar 26, 2010

by Lowtax
i dated a girl who went to catholic school and whose family was vaguely catholic. vaguely.

she was still fuckin crazy tho

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

Nathilus posted:

Pick a century and I'll give you horrors to melt your loving brain.

the 37th century

I AM THE TOILET
Jul 11, 2016

Swan Curry posted:

I went to a Catholic private school. They were pretty chill about the whole thing, we went to mass during the day a few times a year and we watched films in religion (funnily enough watching Cool Hand Luke was one of the first times I thought "Wow, those guys are hot"). A few priests lived in their own wing of the school but they minded their own business for the most part, the only day to day involvement they had was organising charity events. However, one teacher in particular, Ms. Wall was VERY Catholic. She was the only teacher left to start class with a prayer and insisted the class follow along. She was usually kept away from religion classes but sometimes she'd see a class without a teacher and take an opportunity to give us some good Catholic schooling.

This was around two years ago and abortion was once again a big issue in Ireland. One of the most important events in the history of abortion in Ireland was the X Case in 1992. A 14 year old girl known only as X was raped by her neighbour. When she threatened to commit suicide after becoming pregnant her family tried to bring her to England to get an abortion,but the state prevented them from leaving the country. The Supreme Court decided X had the right to an abortion due to the risk to her own life.

The facts of the case are pretty clear. It is a fact that X was raped by neighbour. In fact, that neighbour was later convicted of raping another teenage girl as well. It is a fact that X was willing to commit suicide if she was forced to carry the pregnancy to term. Ms. Wall didn't like those facts though. She told the class that she actually knew X. She claimed she had lived just around the corner from her. Ms. Wall knew the truth, that X was, in her own words, "A bit of a wild child". When her parents discovered X was pregnant, they decided they could use this situation as a way to bring "Abortion on demand" to Ireland. Ms. Wall insisted this was the truth.

What really scares me when I think about it is one of the other lads' reaction to it. He ate every word of it up, believed it all without question. This lad is from a pretty important family. Both his parents are fairly senior political and judicial figures and he's destined for either Parliament or the courts. He's possibly going to wield significant power in this country and he happily believes this poo poo and god knows what else.

gently caress you Ms. Wall, you wretched old oval office.

e:four paragraphs in gbs, kill me now

thanks; it's neat to get just a little slice of contemporary history from real people who've lived in it

Hot Dog Day #82
Jul 5, 2003

Soiled Meat
I was raised Catholic and going to CCD for a decade has helped me better understand biblical references in literature and movies so I guess that is pretty great. I also was able to take Ignatius as my confirmation name; I can't wait until I roll into the kingdom of heaven and get to be called that for the rest of eternity!

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013




hohhat
Sep 25, 2014

Zippy the Bummer posted:

Popes used to be a lot cooler, like Julius III (?) that wore armor and led armies into battle and personally killed dudes on the battlefield.

I know several priests personally. One in particular is a super cool dude, he's enormously fat and makes a bitchin dolmas (stuffed grape leaves) i think he's Syrian by ancestry. He comes by a couple times a year and he and my brother an I all get very drunk

The fat Syrian guy sounds cool. Wearing armor and killing people isn't cool, its ren faire bullshit, give me the dolmas.

Beefed Owl
Sep 13, 2007

Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!
Was a catholic for 22 years, then I grew the gently caress up. *puts on fedora*

But seriously, having been catholic growing up looking back now what a lovely, lovely, corrupt, criminal organization they are. AIDS in Africa because condoms are "evil", their annoyingly aggressive pro-life stance, moving pedophiles around to avoid prosecution, making billions and doing gently caress all to help the needy. New pope is no better than any other pope and honestly the world would be so much better without them.

So how was your day?

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ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

CaptainSarcastic posted:

That's okay, I'll just mentally transcribe it to "liturgically the temple of evil."

a littoral temple of evil would be tight as hell

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