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Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
I just drove home from Baltimore, MD to Columbus, OH because I wanted to bang my wife really bad.

I had a flight out at 5 yesterday and I check in to see what she's up to and of course she's shopping, but sends pictures of lingerie so I was like hell yeah I'm going to pork you bitch and she was like sure. The point of boner inception for me has always been the point when I realize I'm going to slap hams, so I'm in the airport staring at yoga pants and hiding my bonage. Now the lady comes on the intercom and is like hey idiots, flights cancelled suck my dick, come up here and we'll hook you up with something else. So I waddle over all bent over to accommodate my wood, and she's like yeah there's another flight but gently caress you we might cancel that poo poo too (gently caress off). Now I'm all, "no, gently caress u." and cancelled the flight then picked up my rental from Enterprise.

So then I drove until like 3am but my wife was asleep and wouldn't let me bang her. It was basically exactly like a Greek tragedy.

quote:

Southwest Airlines canceled more than 250 flights Friday as the fallout from Wednesday’s technical glitch stretched into a third day. Overall, the carrier has canceled about 1,850 flights since the problem first surfaced.

“We are continuing our work to reposition displaced crews and aircraft as a result of Wednesday's technology issues,” Southwest spokeswoman Brandy King said in a Friday morning e-mail to Today in the Sky. “We have more than 250 systemwide cancellations today, as we continue our recovery efforts.”


USA TODAY
Computer glitch could cost Southwest up $10 million, CEO says


USA TODAY
Southwest extends fare sale because of glitch, warns of long lines

The Wednesday glitch knocked the carrier's website offline for several hours and delayed flights around the country for much of Wednesday afternoon and evening.

Southwest said it has fixed the problem, which forced it to cancel 700 flights on Wednesday and another 900 Thursday. Hundreds of additional flights have suffered delays during the outage and in the related recovery. The airline operates about 3,900 daily flights this time of the year.

Friday's passengers faced the prospect of more disruptions as Southwest continued its effort to get crews and planes back into position for a normal schedule. Southwest said on Thursday that it hoped for normal operations by Friday, a target the carrier clearly has missed.

A rush of customers calling to rebook appeared to have put a strain on Southwest's reservations lines.

In an olive branch to customers, Southwest extended a fare sale that had been set to expire. This image is of a screenshot of Southwest's website on the morning of July 22, 2016. (Photo: Screenshot/Southwest.com)
"Our employees in airports, online, and on the phone are assisting a significant number of customers and hold times are much longer than average," Southwest added in a statement posted to its website. "In the midst of peak, Summertime travel, we recognize many flights through this weekend were already close to full and as cancellations continue, we recommend customers who have flexibility explore rebooking on alternate dates beyond Sunday by checking availability on Southwest.com."

Southwest is allowing most customers with tickets to fly between Wednesday (July 20) and Tuesday (July 26) to change their travel plans at no cost.

In one olive branch to customers, Bob Jordan - Southwest's chief commercial officer - said that the carrier will extend by a week a fare sale that was to end Thursday. He also said every customer affected by the disruption would be contacted.

“Priority one is to take care of our customers, so everyone affected will be hearing from us," Jordan said during the carrier's quarterly earnings call on Thursday.

They are still about a million times better than United though.


http://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/flights/todayinthesky/2016/07/22/southwest-airlines-flight-woes-cascade-into-friday/87430038/

Dave_Indeed fucked around with this message at 16:30 on Jul 22, 2016

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The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



I just flew in from boca raton, and boy are my arms tired

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
OP does not have a wife, he made that up.

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
Op is so fat the plane couldn't get off the ground!

Elusif
Jun 9, 2008

Fuk u op

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Hector Beerlioz posted:

OP does not have a wife, he made that up.

Fun marriage tip, when a group of hot girls walk in to the restaurant, take your ring off and hand it to her like, "Here hold this for a second".

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



dang dave, your catching a lot of heat itt

Dial-a-Dog
May 22, 2001
Southwest rules, I hope this glitch fucks with travel some more when I fly with them on Tuesday so they offer me vouchers to give up my seat because I dont give a poo poo if I'm late on work travel

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

Dave_Indeed posted:

Fun marriage tip, when a group of hot girls walk in to the restaurant, take your ring off and hand it to her like, "Here hold this for a second".

wife to meet you

somecallmetim
Mar 30, 2004

This was the best review of a an airline cancellation I have ever read. Kudos to you and your blue balls.

Dial-a-Dog
May 22, 2001
All the people screeching and crying about the delays and cancellations messing with their plans, who cares we all know you don't have anything important to do at the other end of your flight or you wouldn't be flying Southwest to begin with

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Dave, I want to take a moment to just say, I think you're a decent poster, but what really gets me every time you post is seeing that damned cat avatar.

"meow we're talking"?

poo poo gets me every time. lol.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
I hope every airline goes out of business and that we have to go back to travel by train just like my hero Dagny Tiger from Atlas Shrugs.

The Duchess Smackarse
May 8, 2012

by Lowtax

The Bananana posted:

Dave, I want to take a moment to just say, I think you're a decent poster, but what really gets me every time you post is seeing that damned cat avatar.

"meow we're talking"?

poo poo gets me every time. lol.

Fight me you gently caress

Anyways mr. Dave sorry about your donger

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


drat dude I'm pretty sure they should give you back the cost of a hooker they basically stole an organ from you

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home
I have a flight on Southwest tomorrow :ohdear:

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
as somebody who is responsible when things crash, i'm feeling very happy to not be responsible for that

edit: not planes crashing, computers

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



gannyGrabber posted:

Fight me you gently caress

Anyways mr. Dave sorry about your donger

Good to see you too, old friend

:3:

Dr. Fraiser Chain
May 18, 2004

Redlining my shit posting machine


Fun marriage tip: introduce your wife as "my first wife"

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

Dave_Indeed posted:

So then I drove until like 3am but my wife was asleep and wouldn't let me bang her. It was basically exactly like a Greek tragedy.

I'm in Ohio, next time I'll bang your wife for you dude

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!
Wedge Regret
silly programmers probably have a 'off by 1 error' in the drink dispenser program.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Dave_Indeed posted:

I just drove home from Baltimore, MD to Columbus, OH because I wanted to bang my wife really bad.

I had a flight out at 5 yesterday and I check in to see what she's up to and of course she's shopping, but sends pictures of lingerie so I was like hell yeah I'm going to pork you bitch and she was like sure. The point of boner inception for me has always been the point when I realize I'm going to slap hams, so I'm in the airport staring at yoga pants and hiding my bonage. Now the lady comes on the intercom and is like hey idiots, flights cancelled suck my dick, come up here and we'll hook you up with something else. So I waddle over all bent over to accommodate my wood, and she's like yeah there's another flight but gently caress you we might cancel that poo poo too (gently caress off). Now I'm all, "no, gently caress u." and cancelled the flight then picked up my rental from Enterprise.

So then I drove until like 3am but my wife was asleep and wouldn't let me bang her. It was basically exactly like a Greek tragedy.


They are still about a million times better than United though.


http://www.usatoday.com/story/travel/flights/todayinthesky/2016/07/22/southwest-airlines-flight-woes-cascade-into-friday/87430038/

Its okay op me and five other dudes banged yourwife for you

interwhat
Jul 23, 2005

it's kickin in dude
Checking in at Dublin, ready to bang your wife. I too also have family in and around BMORE so I can swing that way too and knock out two birds with one stone, one of those birds being your wife. Lmk

bongwizzard
May 19, 2005

Then one day I meet a man,
He came to me and said,
"Hard work good and hard work fine,
but first take care of head"
Grimey Drawer
I have a Southwest flight home on Sunday, actually pretty excited the prospect of spending a paid day farting around Austin.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
I'm in German Village you could have swung by for a beejer.

Boinks
Nov 24, 2003



I have an unrelated question:

Why does Columbus have such a hard-on for roundabouts?

interwhat
Jul 23, 2005

it's kickin in dude
Can you imagine how loving horrific traffic would be with just stoplights? People are already really terrible at driving here

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

PIV is always rape, OP. Leave your wife alone.

EL BROMANCE
Jun 10, 2006

COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬



I wonder who banged your wife in the meantime. Check with the neighbours

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES

sorry about your bants

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
I like Spirit Airlines

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Nothing is here forever,
not even the world.
Let's enjoy it while it lasts.

Boinks posted:

I have an unrelated question:

Why does Columbus have such a hard-on for roundabouts?

Personally I really don't get how roundabouts fix the flow of traffic, if anything it seems like they would slow it down more because it's a longer distance to make the turn and you still have to stop?

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES

Hector Beerlioz posted:

I like Spirit Airlines

that's because Team Hector has Spirit YES WE DO

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Boinks posted:

I have an unrelated question:

Why does Columbus have such a hard-on for roundabouts?

Really it's just our surrounding suburbs that do. There a few in Bexley, which is inside Columbus, but the speed limit is 25 through there anyway.

There's none of the big ones in the city, just in the outskirts.

Roylicious
Feb 21, 2012

Braver than the cops
ain't afraid of no chaps
If they steppin up on me
I just start bustin some caps

CJacobs posted:

Personally I really don't get how roundabouts fix the flow of traffic, if anything it seems like they would slow it down more because it's a longer distance to make the turn and you still have to stop?

You don't have to stop, you only have to yield if the oncoming cars are close enough that you wouldn't be able to get in without cutting them off - usually the rule of thumb is when they are 90 degrees away in the circle or less. My town just threw in a couple roundabouts and there's so many people that just treat them like 4 way stops anyway and it's maddening.

Incidentally this is why proper roundabout design' calls for a plant or other visual obstacle in the middle of the roundabout so you can't see the other side (because it makes people stop when they shouldn't when there is a car there).

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

psychokitty posted:

that's because Team Hector has Spirit YES WE DO

Lufthansa is good too, they have a free cognac cart

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Lufthansa is good too, they have a free cognac cart

I have enjoyed my Lufthansa flights. Also Thai Airways and Jamaica Airways (free champagne... or Red Stripe but w/e).

Roylicious
Feb 21, 2012

Braver than the cops
ain't afraid of no chaps
If they steppin up on me
I just start bustin some caps
Lufthansa is great.

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Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
I asked her how all the sex she got from https://www.somethingawful.com/forums members was and she said it was terrific but ended it with a question mark.


Roylicious posted:

You don't have to stop, you only have to yield if the oncoming cars are close enough that you wouldn't be able to get in without cutting them off - usually the rule of thumb is when they are 90 degrees away in the circle or less. My town just threw in a couple roundabouts and there's so many people that just treat them like 4 way stops anyway and it's maddening.

Incidentally this is why proper roundabout design' calls for a plant or other visual obstacle in the middle of the roundabout so you can't see the other side (because it makes people stop when they shouldn't when there is a car there).

This and cruising the left lane should be the death penalty.

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