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bloops
Dec 31, 2010

Thanks Ape Pussy!
I'm pretty much the fire guy from mgs v dogge

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Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
I can jerk off really fast

LostCosmonaut
Feb 15, 2014

Terminal Autism

A Bad Poster
Sep 25, 2006
Seriously, shut the fuck up.

:dukedog:
Once poo poo so hard I cracked the porcelain

Imagine a Louisville Slugger shot out of a pneumatic cannon

A Bad Poster fucked around with this message at 08:06 on Jul 24, 2016

Diabeesting
Apr 29, 2006

turn right to escape
I've got a hand that has immortal cells in it, i'm gonna assume that just makes all of me immortal

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
i can travel through time at normal speed

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
I can grow an incredible beard in less than a month.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
i've been told that my farts can both kill a man and raise the dead

i'm not sure what to do with this level of responsibility













i didn't ask for this

Fister Roboto
Feb 21, 2008

I can control the minds of certain animals, but all of them are extinct.

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus
i can bang your mom while thousands of miles away, but only if she is fat

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

don't make me drunk. you wouldn't like me when i'm drunk.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
we are the real suicide squad

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

At the worst possible times, in the worst possible places, I always have to take a really huge poo poo.

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.
I can do a lot of drugs and am able to embarrass myself in any situation
Extremely questionable sexual judgment

roomforthetuna
Mar 22, 2005

I don't need to know anything about virii! My CUSTOM PROGRAM keeps me protected! It's not like they'll try to come in through the Internet or something!
I talk in a way that means people in the same room can tell what I'm saying, but people on a phone connection can't understand. I assume this makes me incomprehensible to recording devices too. I haven't decided whether I'm a good guy yet, so I'm either "The Unbuggable Man" or "The Mumbler".

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009

roomforthetuna posted:

I talk in a way that means people in the same room can tell what I'm saying, but people on a phone connection can't understand. I assume this makes me incomprehensible to recording devices too. I haven't decided whether I'm a good guy yet, so I'm either "The Unbuggable Man" or "The Mumbler".

the autist

Nice and hot piss
Feb 1, 2004

I can take huge shits

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009
i can spend half an hour taking a poo poo at work :getin:

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe

MurderBot posted:

I can take huge shits


Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

i can spend half an hour taking a poo poo at work :getin:

do you guys have to slam butts together for these to work or are you independents

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

form of...diarrhea!

shape of...corn!

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe
dookie twin powers activate

CAPT. Rainbowbeard
Apr 5, 2012

My incredible goodposting transcends time and space but still it cannot transform the xbone into a good console.
Lipstick Apathy
I've got Cassandra Syndrome.

:(

bloops
Dec 31, 2010

Thanks Ape Pussy!
I've got LTE

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro
I can remember minutia from TV shows, movies, books and games decades after being exposed to them, but none of the information is very useful

Also, I know the Wu-Tang secret

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

i have the power to fall asleep in broad daylight now and not give too much of a gently caress

also im really good at marvel vs capcom 1

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

I can go several days without pooping if I'm not near a good toilet. Don't even need to try. But the second I'm home or near a quality crapper you're gonna see some serious poo poo.

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

one of the best perks of working from home is permanent home field advantage for poopin

Angus McAWESOME
Mar 18, 2011

VikingSkull posted:

dookie twin powers activate

Form of a Grogan! Shape of Diarrhea!

Angus McAWESOME
Mar 18, 2011
drat double post

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

one of the best perks of working from home is permanent home field advantage for poopin

Jelly for sure

Every morning about 9:30 we have what I affectionately call the "Log Driver's Waltz". Every shitter in the place is taken up.

Ceiling fan
Dec 26, 2003

I really like ceilings.
Dead Man’s Band
I have the telepathic ability to make people think I am doing a great job while I am skating by doing the absolute minimum.

For my hero persona, I'm thinking of calling myself Major Remf.

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe

Ceiling fan posted:

I have the telepathic ability to make people think I am doing a great job while I am skating by doing the absolute minimum.

For my hero persona, I'm thinking of calling myself Major Remf.

I wasn't aware this was a power, so I guess I have two now

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
I can saw logs in my sleep.

bloops
Dec 31, 2010

Thanks Ape Pussy!

VikingSkull posted:

I wasn't aware this was a power, so I guess I have two now

Me too

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe

I literally spent 45 minutes hiding in an A/C equipped room yesterday and my boss saw me 5 mins later and was like, "I dunno what I'll have you do, we're ahead of the game at the moment....just go hang out somewhere where no one can see you"

ok boss

egyptian rat race
Jul 13, 2007

Lowtax Spine Fund 2019
Ultra Carp
I have the power to grow a tit (just one, either side) to play with whenever I want

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

I have the power to not kill my wife when she tells me I am dead inside...

Seizure Meat
Jul 23, 2008

by Smythe

ASAPI posted:

I have the power to not kill my wife when she tells me I am dead inside...

who cucks the cuckmen?

Lazy Reservist
Nov 30, 2005

FUBIJAR
Functional alcoholic.

But who here doesn't have that power?

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ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

VikingSkull posted:

who cucks the cuckmen?

I just tried some google fu and came up wanting...

What did I miss?

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