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I'm pretty much the fire guy from mgs v dogge
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Jul 24, 2016 01:40
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I can jerk off really fast
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Jul 24, 2016 02:44
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Terminal Autism
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Jul 24, 2016 02:49
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Once poo poo so hard I cracked the porcelain Imagine a Louisville Slugger shot out of a pneumatic cannon A Bad Poster fucked around with this message at 08:06 on Jul 24, 2016 |
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Jul 24, 2016 03:51
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I've got a hand that has immortal cells in it, i'm gonna assume that just makes all of me immortal
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Jul 24, 2016 03:56
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i can travel through time at normal speed
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Jul 24, 2016 03:59
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I can grow an incredible beard in less than a month.
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Jul 24, 2016 04:03
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i've been told that my farts can both kill a man and raise the dead i'm not sure what to do with this level of responsibility i didn't ask for this
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Jul 24, 2016 04:03
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I can control the minds of certain animals, but all of them are extinct.
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Jul 24, 2016 05:51
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i can bang your mom while thousands of miles away, but only if she is fat
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Jul 24, 2016 07:17
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don't make me drunk. you wouldn't like me when i'm drunk.
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Jul 24, 2016 07:39
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we are the real suicide squad
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Jul 24, 2016 13:16
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At the worst possible times, in the worst possible places, I always have to take a really huge poo poo.
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Jul 24, 2016 13:57
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I can do a lot of drugs and am able to embarrass myself in any situation Extremely questionable sexual judgment
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Jul 24, 2016 15:58
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I talk in a way that means people in the same room can tell what I'm saying, but people on a phone connection can't understand. I assume this makes me incomprehensible to recording devices too. I haven't decided whether I'm a good guy yet, so I'm either "The Unbuggable Man" or "The Mumbler".
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Jul 24, 2016 16:15
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roomforthetuna posted:I talk in a way that means people in the same room can tell what I'm saying, but people on a phone connection can't understand. I assume this makes me incomprehensible to recording devices too. I haven't decided whether I'm a good guy yet, so I'm either "The Unbuggable Man" or "The Mumbler". the autist
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Jul 24, 2016 17:08
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I can take huge shits
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Jul 24, 2016 17:13
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i can spend half an hour taking a poo poo at work 
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Jul 24, 2016 17:20
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MurderBot posted:I can take huge shits Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:i can spend half an hour taking a poo poo at work do you guys have to slam butts together for these to work or are you independents
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Jul 24, 2016 17:39
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form of...diarrhea! shape of...corn!
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Jul 24, 2016 18:08
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dookie twin powers activate
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Jul 24, 2016 18:19
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I've got Cassandra Syndrome.
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Jul 24, 2016 21:14
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I've got LTE
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Jul 24, 2016 21:20
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I can remember minutia from TV shows, movies, books and games decades after being exposed to them, but none of the information is very useful Also, I know the Wu-Tang secret
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Jul 24, 2016 22:51
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i have the power to fall asleep in broad daylight now and not give too much of a gently caress also im really good at marvel vs capcom 1
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Jul 25, 2016 19:00
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I can go several days without pooping if I'm not near a good toilet. Don't even need to try. But the second I'm home or near a quality crapper you're gonna see some serious poo poo.
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Jul 25, 2016 19:16
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one of the best perks of working from home is permanent home field advantage for poopin
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Jul 25, 2016 19:34
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VikingSkull posted:dookie twin powers activate Form of a Grogan! Shape of Diarrhea!
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Jul 25, 2016 19:44
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drat double post
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Jul 25, 2016 19:44
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:one of the best perks of working from home is permanent home field advantage for poopin Jelly for sure Every morning about 9:30 we have what I affectionately call the "Log Driver's Waltz". Every shitter in the place is taken up.
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Jul 25, 2016 20:06
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I have the telepathic ability to make people think I am doing a great job while I am skating by doing the absolute minimum. For my hero persona, I'm thinking of calling myself Major Remf.
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Jul 25, 2016 21:01
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Ceiling fan posted:I have the telepathic ability to make people think I am doing a great job while I am skating by doing the absolute minimum. I wasn't aware this was a power, so I guess I have two now
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Jul 25, 2016 21:37
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I can saw logs in my sleep.
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Jul 26, 2016 23:30
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VikingSkull posted:I wasn't aware this was a power, so I guess I have two now Me too
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Jul 26, 2016 23:31
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holocaust bloopers posted:Me too I literally spent 45 minutes hiding in an A/C equipped room yesterday and my boss saw me 5 mins later and was like, "I dunno what I'll have you do, we're ahead of the game at the moment....just go hang out somewhere where no one can see you" ok boss
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Jul 26, 2016 23:48
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I have the power to grow a tit (just one, either side) to play with whenever I want
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Jul 26, 2016 23:53
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I have the power to not kill my wife when she tells me I am dead inside...
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Jul 27, 2016 00:52
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ASAPI posted:I have the power to not kill my wife when she tells me I am dead inside... who cucks the cuckmen?
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Jul 27, 2016 02:26
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Functional alcoholic. But who here doesn't have that power?
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Jul 27, 2016 03:06
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VikingSkull posted:who cucks the cuckmen? I just tried some google fu and came up wanting... What did I miss?
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Jul 27, 2016 04:09
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