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Drad_Bert
Jun 26, 2013

by Smythe




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criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

jlechem
Nov 2, 2011

Fun Shoe

Drad_Bert
Jun 26, 2013

by Smythe

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

mods please make this my avatar asap

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES

Drad_Bert
Jun 26, 2013

by Smythe

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
IDGIT?

Op at least give some context for countries outside of USA you racist fucker.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

spud posted:

IDGIT?

Op at least give some context for countries outside of USA you racist fucker.
They are the guys that believe Jesus was American and go door to door in pairs on their bicycles wearing identical white shirt black tie black pants and shoes outfits trying to convert people.

spud
Aug 27, 2003

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

a hole-y ghost posted:

They are the guys that believe Jesus was American and go door to door in pairs on their bicycles wearing identical white shirt black tie black pants and shoes outfits trying to convert people.

Ok TY.

I would probably throw a shoe at them as i drove past.

E: Wait, why don't they have cars?

Stinky_Pete
Aug 16, 2015

Stinkier than your average bear
Lipstick Apathy

spud posted:

Ok TY.

I would probably throw a shoe at them as i drove past.

E: Wait, why don't they have cars?

They spent all the car money on this magic castle

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
I don't get Mormons coming to my door, but I do get Jehovah's Witnesses. They're smart enough to only send the really old ladies and I can't bring myself to be rude so I always invite them in and serve them lemonade or tea and then have to sit in the dining room for an hour reading Bible passages with them.

They only leave when you promise you'll see them come Sunday at their church .

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel

spud posted:

IDGIT?

Op at least give some context for countries outside of USA you racist fucker.

Mormon Jesus

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

:gay:

PallasAthene
Dec 6, 2010

Why, vixen, have you again set the gods by the ears in the pride and haughtiness of your heart?
I'm not gay, but if I were, it would before these two wholesome, demure, pretty, Mormon girls who sometimes come to my place talk about genealogy, history, the afterlife while we drink ice tea in my patio or living room.

:swoon: :swoon: :swoon:

I have to stop monopolizing their time though, because I won't be converting any time soon, and I want them to be able to talk to people who will convert, that way they can get the commission for all their hard work.

fake edit:

a hole-y ghost posted:

..wearing identical white shirt black tie black pants and shoes outfits...

The girls wear calf length wool skirts and do their hair like librarians.
:swoon: :swoon: :swoon:

Pennywise the Frown
May 10, 2010

Upset Trowel
Also, watch this South Park episode All About Mormons to get an idea. Obviously not 100% accurate, but they did a good job on Scientology.

What they believe in is insane.

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!
Wedge Regret
I'm a lazy mormon, these ms paints are accurate.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it

Fabulousity
Dec 29, 2008

Number One I order you to take a number two.

This kind of plays out like a Youtube Poop video but it really isn't: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a3eJC3qAFU

HJE-Cobra
Jul 15, 2007

Bear Witness

Hell Gem

Stinky_Pete posted:

They spent all the car money on this magic castle



Their temple in the DC area is pretty swanky too

PallasAthene
Dec 6, 2010

Why, vixen, have you again set the gods by the ears in the pride and haughtiness of your heart?


No wonder the girls trying to convert me have that Belle-Cinderella-Snow White-before-they-become-princesses vibe.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

spud posted:

E: Wait, why don't they have cars?
I'm not sure. I think it has something to do with them not wanting to start a car up a million times and kill its battery as they go door to door.

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing


Fabulousity posted:

This kind of plays out like a Youtube Poop video but it really isn't: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0a3eJC3qAFU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46PXaJxzuDE

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!
Wedge Regret
University Byu provo mormons do a thing called NCMO, where they have a one night stand of only making out. Non committed make out. They also do make out wit no clothes but no sex. They do the provo park where the man inserts his penis in the women but doesn't move. Also butt stuff to stay pure to the lord.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord
*hears a rapid but non forceful knock at the door*

"Huh, I wonder who that could be? Better go check it out!"



"Oh no, it's one of those guys! Ehh, I don't really want to talk to him, but answer the door just to be polite."

Drad_Bert
Jun 26, 2013

by Smythe

Iron Prince posted:

*hears a rapid but non forceful knock at the door*

"Huh, I wonder who that could be? Better go check it out!"



"Oh no, it's one of those guys! Ehh, I don't really want to talk to him, but answer the door just to be polite."



:eyepop:

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

that means the other mormon died :smith:

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

haha that fuckin klown

Macrowave Oven
Nov 20, 2008

Guitar, bass, drums, keyboards, clavinet, piano, keytar, lap steel guitar, slide bass guitar, mandolin, violin, and FRESH POTS.

Iron Prince posted:

*hears a rapid but non forceful knock at the door*

Myyummmmmmmmthat's gyood satyre

Elusif
Jun 9, 2008

Edit:

Elusif fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Jul 26, 2016

Fiddler on the Reef
Apr 29, 2011


spud posted:

Ok TY.

I would probably throw a shoe at them as i drove past.

E: Wait, why don't they have cars?

I think they drive to a given residential neighborhood and then walk door to door.

Also they own all of Utah. (not joking. Utah started as a mormon settlement)

Drad_Bert
Jun 26, 2013

by Smythe

Sweet mother

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Iron Prince posted:

*hears a rapid but non forceful knock at the door*

"Huh, I wonder who that could be? Better go check it out!"



"Oh no, it's one of those guys! Ehh, I don't really want to talk to him, but answer the door just to be polite."



They aren't actually trying to convert people. They just strengthen their resolve as the chosen people through rejection from the heathens.

Nice Guy Patron
Jun 29, 2015

This is great.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013

psychokitty
Jun 29, 2010

=9.9=
MEOW
BITCHES

we have a fairly large LDS population here, in fact my best friend growing up was one and i went to this place with her one sunday:

the temple in stl

also, here, have a great and informative cartoon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3BqLZ8UoZk

LogicalFallacy
Nov 16, 2015

Wrecking hell's shit since 1993


criscodisco posted:

I don't get Mormons coming to my door, but I do get Jehovah's Witnesses. They're smart enough to only send the really old ladies and I can't bring myself to be rude so I always invite them in and serve them lemonade or tea and then have to sit in the dining room for an hour reading Bible passages with them.

They only leave when you promise you'll see them come Sunday at their church.
Fun fact: One of the most reliable ways to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses is to tell them you're Mormon.

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Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

some mormons tried to harass me about jesus while i was smoking weed on my porch one time; I told them I was muslim and they said something about our books being similar and dipped out quick, so try that next time they come around

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