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Gamer With Dignity
May 15, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo
It seems like everywhere I look these days, people are jealous of my carefree spirit, good looks, gorgeous, faithful girlfriend, strong work ethic, and pleasant, debt-free lifestyle. How do I break it to these people softly that their unhappiness is the result of a number of poorly planned out decisions that could have been easily avoided?

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Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
gently caress you OP

AugmentedVision
Feb 17, 2011

by exmarx
same OP same

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
I know the feeling OP but its like I always say, and I think there is some wisdom in these words... kill yourself, OP

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
Just be yourself.

bleep.bloop
Jun 19, 2016

Oh, dear leader!
I wish I knew OP. I spend every day trying to find a way to tell everyone around me how to live their lives, but it's like nobody listens.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"
Suck my dick you fuckman

Gamer With Dignity
May 15, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo
For breakky this morning I had 5 eggs scrambled with cottage cheese, mushrooms, and a little bit of pesto. I don't have a four year degree from a fancy university and I'm what jealous folks would call a "poor person".

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
I wrote and pitched a movie called "the longest food"

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN
Jun 26, 2009



Not jealous of that breakfast :firstpost:

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
drat dude sucks being awesome. :smith:

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
That's nice dear, bless your heart

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high


OP get several bumper stickers made of this picture so everyone will know and leave you be

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
Dont congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are eveyone elses'~

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard

You should be ashamed of yourself, OP

that is some seriously garbage english

monkey
Jan 20, 2004

by zen death robot
Yams Fan

Gamer With Dignity posted:

It seems like everywhere I look these days, people are jealous of my carefree spirit, good looks, gorgeous, faithful girlfriend, strong work ethic, and pleasant, debt-free lifestyle. How do I break it to these people softly that their unhappiness is the result of a number of poorly planned out decisions that could have been easily avoided?

Easily fixed. Tattoo the word oval office on your forehead in large letters and nobody will feel jealous of you anymore.

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010

Show them your penis.

vudan
Dec 11, 2010
Lol good luck keeping it up till life opens up your mouth and takes a colossal poo poo.

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth

monkey posted:

Easily fixed. Tattoo the word oval office on your forehead in large letters and nobody will feel jealous of you anymore.

This would certainly solve your problem OP!

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
They just hate us cuz they anus op

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?
I dunno guy it's hard. I learned how to release stem cells with my mind a few decades ago and all my friends are divorced in their 50s and me I party on the college campuses go to keggers and just look hot as poo poo in general and I'm just this really fit guy my friends they're too old and flabby and it's just sad that they cant be big enough to say hey good job I wish I was you and just end it there without comparison and judgment ya know cuz it's not like most f em go beyond the CHEAP lovely STUBBY FINGER SIZED PORTION OF A BRAIN SYSTEM and self reflect and learn and grow nah it's easier to feel bad for yourself

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?
PIGGY EYES FULL OF JELLY PIGGY PIGGY EYES FULL OF JELLY BLACK BEADY PIG PIG EYES FULL OF JELLY NARROW LIMITED PIGGY EYES FULL OF JELLY

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
if you're so carefree why do you give a poo poo about what those haters think

checkmate OP

Emmideer
Oct 20, 2011

Lovely night, no?
Grimey Drawer
I'm so jealous of how many people are jealous of you.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
As a Mexican I get this on a daily basis so I can empathize with the op. Every day I hear at least one of the following

"Wow why is your Mexican dick so much bigger than my white dick"

"Hey man I'd appreciate it if you stopped loving my girl, we're about to get married"

Or

"Wow why are you're Mexican women so much more attractive than our white women?"

Just hold your head up high op and take comfort that in about 30 more years the white race will be no more and we Mexicans will be running America.

CuddleCryptid
Jan 11, 2013

Things could be going better

Have you tried starting a blog OP? Really humanize yourself with in depth posts about the bad parts of your life, like when they only had regular bacon at the sandwich shop rather than vegan bacon

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Start playing videogames

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord

Don Tacorleone posted:

Start playing videogames

No one has ever been jealous of this worthless SACK OF poo poo FYI. So don't listen to him!!!

Lord Frankenstyle
Dec 3, 2005

Mmmm,
You smell like Lysol Wipes.

Volume posted:

As a Mexican I get this on a daily basis so I can empathize with the op. Every day I hear at least one of the following

"Wow why is your Mexican dick so much bigger than my white dick"

"Hey man I'd appreciate it if you stopped loving my girl, we're about to get married"

Or

"Wow why are you're Mexican women so much more attractive than our white women?"

Just hold your head up high op and take comfort that in about 30 more years the white race will be no more and we Mexicans will be running America.

I think Donald Trump may have a few things to say about that.

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
five eggs seems a little overboard OP, two is the way to go and three is really too many so i really can't understand how anyone could eat five unless they were really small eggs and maybe in the future use some american or cheddar cheese in those eggs and maybe a little garlic and ham or bacon

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
kill yourself



actually alot of people would still be jelly

ninety
Mar 13, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo

(and can't post for 4 years!)

I can't think of anyone I'm jealous of and that's just the gosh darn truth.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Kuato posted:

No one has ever been jealous of this worthless SACK OF poo poo FYI. So don't listen to him!!!

Trust me your MOTHER was plenty jealous of me deep dicking other sluts last night, KIATO

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
i would be kind of jealous of the op if he killed himself, yeah.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

have you collected all 121 stars in Super Mario 64??? yah didnt think so.

Taima
Dec 31, 2006

tfw you're peeing next to someone in the lineup and they don't know

Luvcow posted:

five eggs seems a little overboard OP, two is the way to go and three is really too many so i really can't understand how anyone could eat five unless they were really small eggs and maybe in the future use some american or cheddar cheese in those eggs and maybe a little garlic and ham or bacon

I don't know how white trash you have to be to put american cheese on eggs, but it is a level of white trash that i have never seen with my own two eyes.

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro
It's simple OP. Just start telling people you watch Dr. Who, My Little Pony and/or Steven Universe. No one will ever be jealous of you again

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

Taima posted:

I don't know how white trash you have to be to put american cheese on eggs, but it is a level of white trash that i have never seen with my own two eyes.

american is the preferred cheese for scrambled eggs, what shithole part of the world did you grow up in?

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Luvcow posted:

american is the preferred cheese for scrambled eggs, what shithole part of the world did you grow up in?

presumably some place with access to real cheese

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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Funky See Funky Do posted:

Just be yourself.

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