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The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



I mean... What qualifications are they lacking?

they clearing don't mind s*cking some dick to get a role, right?

And they can act like they like sex, with dudes, or girls, or ugly dudes, or old ladies, right? and that's a skill an actress needs.

and theyre usually reasonably pretty, right? like, no worse than Maggie guyillenhall(sp?).

Just spit-ballin' here, but I think more porn stars should try to get into acting. what do you guys think?

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Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
Porn is probably easier.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
i think porn is more of a "short cut" to the money part, but with the typical dark side 3 wishes curse like your teeth fall out and your vagina also falls out

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Nigmaetcetera posted:

Porn is probably easier.

but does it pay better? I think not. I don't think porn people even get royalties.

Sperghetti
Apr 21, 2010

Why don't more Hollywood starlets get into porn

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
i bet benicio del toro has a monster dong

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003
acting talent.

the real question is why porn stars aren't models, and the answer is that they are too short. you have to be taller than 5'5" to be a model.

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Sperghetti posted:

Why don't more Hollywood starlets get into porn

See, this is an easier question: They already don't have to do sex stuff on film, so they have no inclination to start.

Whereas pornstars have already done sex stuff on film, so if Steven Speilman says he wants a sex scene in the next movie he directs, bamm-o, done. no negotiations needed.

R-Type
Oct 10, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Shaquin posted:

i bet benicio del toro has a monster dong

They don't call it the Benicio Del Toro show for nothing.

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

The Bananana posted:

but does it pay better? I think not. I don't think porn people even get royalties.

They probably all start out trying to become starlets, but realize after blowing 50 different casting directors and still not getting the part that their talents lie elsewhere.

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

LegoPirateNinja posted:

acting talent.

the real question is why porn stars aren't models, and the answer is that they are too short. you have to be taller than 5'5" to be a model.

lol true everyone in hollywood is 5'0"

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
pubes possibly tastefully gray highlighted like his hair+beard

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
downy pube patch, doubtlessly

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

Shaquin posted:

i bet benicio del toro has a monster dong

I bet Guillermo del toro is hung like a coke can

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Nigmaetcetera posted:

I bet Guillermo del toro is hung like a coke can

short stubby and full of sugar?

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde
it's like you've never seen the acting that happens before the dongers come out

the best is when the lady w/ the "rolled in stickers" tattoos hasta act like an innocent schoolgirl w/ those dead eyes

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

The Bananana posted:

short stubby and full of sugar?

Yeah but so fat you can't get your fingers all the way around it

Also I think his whole body is filled with sugar so that doesn't really count

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
i hope everyone dies irl

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



dad gay. so what posted:

i hope everyone dies irl

Let me tell you about this little thing called "Morbidity and Mortality", friend...

OBAMNA PHONE
Aug 7, 2002
Worked for that Kardashian :nyd:

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
sylvester stalone and arnold schwartznager did and the stallion won an oscar while arnold became a governor

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



BraveUlysses posted:

Worked for that Kardashian :nyd:

too right, mate

dad gay. so what
Feb 18, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
lol i spent 10 minutes trying to figure out which screen i should type "same" into, what a time to be alive

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
my posting station has 12 screens

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
They can't act. And even though some stars may have sucked dick to get where they are, the knowledge that a someone has done that/could do that goes against the image Hollywood tries to project.

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

Luvcow posted:

sylvester stalone and arnold schwartznager did and the stallion won an oscar while arnold became a governor

men can't be starlets, sorry.

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring

ArmZ posted:

men can't be starlets, sorry.

:911:

happyhippy
Feb 21, 2005

Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup
Pillbug
This is why I think 70s porn is the best porn.
The stars then at least pretended to act before getting John Holmes/Ron Jeremy up their rear end.

I wish the porn stars of today acted in the scenes like back then.

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
Sasha Grey tried

penus penus penus
Nov 9, 2014

by piss__donald
because its pretty easy to gently caress OP, not act. can insert harr harr this actress cant really act but , thats also usually because they were insanely rich and had connections to start with, unlike literally any porn star

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

happyhippy posted:

This is why I think 70s porn is the best porn.
The stars then at least pretended to act before getting John Holmes/Ron Jeremy up their rear end.

I wish the porn stars of today acted in the scenes like back then.

you're in the small percentage of people who watch porn for the acting

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Good pornstars are usually lovely actors because they're really loving. :shrug:

Luvcow
Jul 1, 2007

One day nearer spring
i would say it would probably take pretty good acting skills to look like you're enjoying being jackhammered by an obese hairy gorilla of a man while a camera crew watches and films

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
go watch that Pirates of the Caribbean porn knock off that they thought was decent enough to remake with the porn scenes taken out and the story bits still there and then tell me that's something you'd enjoy more of

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



ElectricSheep posted:

Sasha Grey tried
How'd that go?

Didn't stoya try as well?

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

The Bananana posted:

How'd that go?

Didn't stoya try as well?

I saw some horror movie with her in it, I think it was called Would You Rather. Standard stuff, she played a bit of a horror movie cutthroat-bitch archetype, didn't require too much of a stretch

e: yeah, here it is. Didn't know about Stoya though

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

THE DOG HOUSE posted:

can insert harr harr this actress cant really act but , thats also usually because they were insanely rich and had connections to start with, unlike literally any porn star

this too

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Moridin920 posted:

go watch that Pirates of the Caribbean porn knock off that they thought was decent enough to remake with the porn scenes taken out and the story bits still there and then tell me that's something you'd enjoy more of

lol they remade that?

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry
oh i see you're talking about Black Sails

well done sir

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Kritzkrieg Kop
Nov 4, 2009
But Do I have to suck some dicks in order to be a casting director myself?

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