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Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
Please tell me stories of being bullied so I can laugh at you. I was/am a bully and I want some ideas for how to bully my victims.

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AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf
as a guy born in 89 i grew up during that magical time where social media really wasnt a thing yet

i can't loving imagine the hell kids go thru today with constant online fuckery

tenspott
Aug 1, 2002

by FactsAreUseless

AEMINAL posted:

as a guy born in 89 i grew up during that magical time where social media really wasnt a thing yet

i can't loving imagine the hell kids go thru today with constant online fuckery

NIGGA JUST CLOSE YA EYES

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

Professor Tomtom posted:

Please tell me stories of being bullied so I can laugh at you. I was/am a bully and I want some ideas for how to bully my victims.

If you want some fresh multicultural ideas on how to own your victims, you should peep some Korean or Japanese TV dramas and import their techniques.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Professor Tomtom posted:

Please tell me stories of being bullied so I can laugh at you. I was/am a bully and I want some ideas for how to bully my victims.

Give me your lunch money bitch

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
op im gonna stuff you in a locker so you can meditate in dark silence. very relaxing, so i hear

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
People actually tried to stuff me in a locker in high school ama

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

the best defense against locker stuffing is obesity

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine

Hector Beerlioz posted:

People actually tried to stuff me in a locker in high school ama

*shoves you down staircase while youre holding stack of heavy books*

they do that!?!?!?!

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
A bully made me wax his grundle in the middle of the hallway one time

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Tuxedo Gin posted:

the best defense against locker stuffing is obesity

In gym class everyone had to get weighed and one really heavy kid stepped on the electric scaled and after a moment it read ERROR. He was too fat for it. They had to drag out this old scale with those sliding weights on the bar and I am sure had not been used since the Eisenhower era. Everyone surrounded him and laughed and laughed and laughed. I guess that counts as bullying.

Tuxedo Gin
May 21, 2003

Classy.

Hector Beerlioz posted:

In gym class everyone had to get weighed and one really heavy kid stepped on the electric scaled and after a moment it read ERROR. He was too fat for it. They had to drag out this old scale with those sliding weights on the bar and I am sure had not been used since the Eisenhower era. Everyone surrounded him and laughed and laughed and laughed. I guess that counts as bullying.

i'm sorry you got bullied because of your weight

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Tuxedo Gin posted:

i'm sorry you got bullied because of your weight

I was laughing at him too

The Dregs
Dec 29, 2005

MY TREEEEEEEE!
When i was in high school this guy used to shove me into a wall every time he crossed my path. Then he tried out for football. I was already on the team. During his tryout I repeatedly smashed his wheezing rear end into the dirt. I figured out I was being a pussy and he didn't give me any more poo poo. These days I would be encouraged to tell on him and I'd end up publicly slitting my wrists on Instagram or some bullshit like that.

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
What're you gonna do if I don't tell you about bullying?

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Hector Beerlioz posted:

I was laughing at him too

It's good that you learned to laugh at yourself

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
I was not the fat persin :mad:

Dr. Dogballs Jr.
Jun 9, 2014

the angriest sex machine
i told a kid who wouldnt stfu to go make the world a better place and loving kill himself in junior year. in front of my teacher. while walking me to my counselor his exact words started with "not that i disagree with what you said, but...". everyone hated that useless fuckhead. he stopped harassing me

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.
Kancho: treasured cultural tradition, or felony act?

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
Someone dropped a hamburger with a ton of toppings down the back of my shirt in 3rd grade and then slapped it. It ruined my cool glow in the dark lightning bug shirt and was also honestly a waste of a burger. In middle and highschool nothing too bad happened except my friend drew a giant cock in sharpie on my art history textbook cover and told the teacher I did it resulting in a few days of detention.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

One time when I was in middle school someone actually put a "kick me" sign on my back. At the time I was quite angry, but looking back it was impressive to pull off an old classic like that.

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

I never got bullied with one notable exception. I was already 6'1, muscular, a decent athlete, good with women, personable, etc. Nobody bullied me except for one group: the goddamn gays at my school who would call me a slut, a whore, and tell me they were going to gently caress me raw. I didn't know what to do. I had never been bullied before.

Everyday I would walk down the large hallway to the gym and they would laugh and tell me to get my sweet rear end to them so I could choke on their dicks. They always had single obese girl with them who said she'd turn my face into a saddle.

I just ignored it but it made me very uncomfortable. One of them was in sociology with me and would just stare at me to make me uncomfortable. He'd occasionally wink but mostly just stare until I turned my chair away from him.


e: this also happened when I worked at a retail store my freshman year of college with a gay, vegan, wiccan guy who told me he could kill a man a hundred different ways and told me that he had a ritual that would make me more "accommodating" for him and his boyfriend. He wasn't a manager but was convinced he was my department manager and once told me that he only gave raises (he couldn't give raises) to "willing employees." In hindsight I should have filed a complaint but nobody liked him anyway and I was a uncomfortable nineteen year old who didn't know how to make him stop.

flick my Mr. Bean fucked around with this message at 16:27 on Aug 1, 2016

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


i honk at people in my car

it's a good technique, really

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010

Murphy Brownback posted:

Someone dropped a hamburger with a ton of toppings down the back of my shirt in 3rd grade and then slapped it.

Going to do this to the IT guy at my work today. Will post results.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
They called me Funky See Funky Poo:qq:

Tonsured
Jan 14, 2005

I came across mention of a Gnostic codex called The Unreal God and the Aspects of His Nonexistent Universe, an idea which reduced me to helpless laughter. What kind of person would write about something that he knows doesn't exist, and how can something that doesn't exist have aspects?
I get bullied a lot. In my adult life. More than I ever did in school. Tbh there is something deep and disturbing about me, I trigger people. They see me on the street, walking, they look into my eyes and they say to themselves "that is not a person. That is someone who doesn't exist." I get signaled out on a daily basis by random people. Crazies. The craziest of the crazies: the normal lived people who think they have perspective enough to know right from wrong, they see me and say "that's wrong." and do whatever they can, whatever in their power to control me. Like an ant trying to stop a runaway truck it is always the same result for them: they get crushed by me. I don't like when other people hurt themselves on me, but they do it consistently, because they fear the "I" in my eye.

I was at a Culver. I ordered a buttered burger. Wisconsin, earlier this year. The girls kept coming out, cute teenager workers, and just looked at me while I waited. I'm used to this. But the manager. He saw me.
Rage.
He became a caricature of deranged authority. His shoulder and chest, involuntary sympathetic nervous response, his brow wrinkled and his face curled. Then he started micromanaging, calling all the girls up. took their sandwiches and threw them on the ground to make them work again.

Ya. Pathetic.

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

dog buttz posted:

I never got bullied with one notable exception. I was already 6'1, muscular, a decent athlete, good with women, personable, etc. Nobody bullied me except for one group: the goddamn gays at my school who would call me a slut, a whore, and tell me they were going to gently caress me raw. I didn't know what to do. I had never been bullied before.

Everyday I would walk down the large hallway to the gym and they would laugh and tell me to get my sweet rear end to them so I could choke on their dicks. They always had single obese girl with them who said she'd turn my face into a saddle.

I just ignored it but it made me very uncomfortable. One of them was in sociology with me and would just stare at me to make me uncomfortable. He'd occasionally wink but mostly just stare until I turned my chair away from him.


e: this also happened when I worked at a retail store my freshman year of college with a gay, vegan, wiccan guy who told me he could kill a man a hundred different ways and told me that he had a ritual that would make me more "accommodating" for him and his boyfriend. He wasn't a manager but was convinced he was my department manager and once told me that he only gave raises (he couldn't give raises) to "willing employees." In hindsight I should have filed a complaint but nobody liked him anyway and I was a uncomfortable nineteen year old who didn't know how to make him stop.

tell us more about your fantasies

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

Those homos are always trying to homosex people, smdh.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

OctoberBlues posted:

Those homos are always trying to homosex people, smdh.

The gay agenda is ruthless, calculated and covered in glitter.

Stex T
Mar 7, 2005

Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.
These activists are complaining that students aren't being taught proper coping strategies for being bullied and I'm like, do these people not know about violent video games?

Big Bowie Bonanza
Dec 30, 2007

please tell me where i can date this cute boy
guy named daniel would slap my balls

joke's on him he's gay now

Hrist
Feb 21, 2011


Lipstick Apathy
At my high school ,the psycho football coach who needed a pay check the rest of the year and taught a subject he knew nothing about was the bully. He beat up a freshman once. Picked the kid up and threw him at a wall a few times, and stuffed him in a trash can. The point here is as long as you're involved in football, you can do any kind of bullying you want to whoever you want.

Beef Turret
Jul 9, 2009

by Lowtax
:cripes:

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
back in high school one of my friends little brother joined the waterpolo team and he was a freshman when we were seniors so we would be mean to him he was kinda chubby so one of my other friends would always call him bitch tits and then one time we stuffed him into the flipper bin it was kinda mean in retrospect but thats what he gets for being born from the same parents as our friend just later. loving bitch tits

redm
Feb 20, 2016


Sugartime Jones
When I was a child, I got jumped and spit on a lot. In middle school, I started fighting back. By the time I got to high school, no one wanted to try physical confrontation with me anymore so it got restricted to outlandish rumors and behind the back gossip, but sticks and stones etc.
People still give me poo poo almost everywhere I go, but I've had my rear end kicked enough times to know the correct way to respond to that sort of thing. There's a lot of gang violence in my city, but I don't deal or claim reps so I'm pretty sure none of them view me as a threat or think I deserve to get any sort of hassle. If there weren't so many armed white guys with ego problems roaming these streets just begging for a reason to shoot somebody, I'd probably have nothing to worry about.

nigga crab pollock
Mar 26, 2010

by Lowtax

Hrist posted:

At my high school ,the psycho football coach who needed a pay check the rest of the year and taught a subject he knew nothing about was the bully. He beat up a freshman once. Picked the kid up and threw him at a wall a few times, and stuffed him in a trash can. The point here is as long as you're involved in football, you can do any kind of bullying you want to whoever you want.

my biology teacher in high school was a coach and he clearly did not hold evolution in a high regard and taught everything in the class as if it was an opinion that you really didn't have to pay attention to.

the actual football coach taught gym and i never saw him he just watched tv in his office all day and left the class with zero supervision

basically yeah you can do whatever you want if you're a high school football coach

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
if youre a penn state football coach you get to rape little kids

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

Nooner posted:

if youre a penn state football coach you get to rape little kids

The teacher who was proctor of the anime club at my high school is now in jail for you know what.

SOME PIG
Aug 12, 2004

Hittin' Switches,
Twistin' wigs with
Phat Radical Mathematical type Scriptures
Getting bullied can be pretty fun if you have a good sense of humor! Some of those guys are pretty funny :)

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flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

Gaunab posted:

tell us more about your fantasies

I can assure you my fantasies have never involved high school boys. I'm not surprised people don't believe it though because it sounds fake as gently caress. It's not though. :( I hated it.

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