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What do you do to mess with your pet?
head butt
poke nose
bite them
pet them very strongly
call them silly names for a long time or loudly
wake them up
take excessive photos
trick them (e.g., say "treats" or "car")
have a stare-down
hide their toys
find them in their hidey-spot
other [please specify]
View Results
 
  • Locked thread
Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
What do you do to mess with your pet.

Post pics or videos as much as possible.

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 20:35 on Aug 1, 2016

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Schneider Inside Her
Aug 6, 2009

Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman
I don't have a dog anymore but my main moves used to be grabbing their back end and wobbling them back and forth until they fell down for scratches, or waiting until they were asleep then placing a tiny piece of food (such as a hash brown or piece of chicken) in front of their face so the smell would enter their dreams. One of our dogs would instantly lie down and not move if you covered him with a blanket and once I did this and forgot about it, came downstairs a couple hours later and he was where I left him.

lllllllllllllllllll
Feb 28, 2010

Now the scene's lighting is perfect!
LIE TO IT?!

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
How so? Explain.

Ema Nymton
Apr 26, 2008

the place where I come from
is a small town
Buglord
One of my cats gets sleepers in his eyes frequently. Like this:



I pick them off. He doesn't like that.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Ema Nymton posted:

One of my cats gets sleepers in his eyes frequently. Like this:



I pick them off. He doesn't like that.

Same. But I pet them first so they don't see it coming so they kinda-ish think its part of the pet (still slightly unhappy tho).

mundane haircut
May 3, 2007

"I am a couch. I am a couch. I am a couch."
Ultra Carp
I used to keep the vacuum cleaner plugged in and within reach of the bed so if he was being a pain in the rear end I could turn it on and have him run away. Sometimes I kick him out of the bedroom just so I can hear his indignant meow when he's let back in :3:

Pollyanna
Mar 5, 2005

Milk's on them.


Pick him up
Wake him while he's napping
Click my tongue to get his attention
Touch his paws
Prevent him from escaping the apartment
Open plastic bags
Plastic bags in general
Mimic his meowing
Kiss him on the forehead
Constantly go "hey I'm here look at me!! love me dammit"

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Carry them around on my shoulder like a baby.

Lonny Donoghan
Jan 20, 2009
Pillbug
miso paste

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich
You know how cats always want to stick their assholes right up to your face right? Well one time I went out to the bathroom where my girlfriend's total fuckfaced dipshit of a cat was sleeping, and as I sat their dropping my deuce, I decided it was time for revenge.

Just before wiping, I got up and held my cheeks apart, dropping in as close as I could before ripping a fart right in her stupid face. "How's it looking back there?!" I asked her. "How's it looking?!"

Got up, turned around and sat back on the commode before continuing to wipe. First time I've ever seen a cat overcome with true horror, just staring at me wide-eyed until I left. It was glorious.

JizzJohnson
Aug 6, 2016

Jizz is a bird watching term. I will not discuss it further.
I have a bullboxer and today I was working with him using those little treats called training rewards and I was keeping a handful of treats in my pocket. The result was he could smell them in my pocket and he kept walking up to me shoving his face in my crotch sniffing for the treats but then I got a boner. I really showed him.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

KomodoWagon posted:

You know how cats always want to stick their assholes right up to your face right? Well one time I went out to the bathroom where my girlfriend's total fuckfaced dipshit of a cat was sleeping, and as I sat their dropping my deuce, I decided it was time for revenge.

Just before wiping, I got up and held my cheeks apart, dropping in as close as I could before ripping a fart right in her stupid face. "How's it looking back there?!" I asked her. "How's it looking?!"

Got up, turned around and sat back on the commode before continuing to wipe. First time I've ever seen a cat overcome with true horror, just staring at me wide-eyed until I left. It was glorious.

Did your cat get the "open mouth cause I'm grossed out" look? Mine get that when they sniff a butt (of cat, I don't make them sniff my butt)

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Aug 7, 2016

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Double post sorry

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 02:52 on Aug 7, 2016

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
i wait for them to sit near me while i'm wearing an unzipped coat, then i put them on my chest and zip up my coat

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> BEWARE, COWARD :ovr:


I try to trim my cat's claws
She hates it :(

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

President Ark posted:

i wait for them to sit near me while i'm wearing an unzipped coat, then i put them on my chest and zip up my coat

This sounds great and I will try this. Cat squishes :3:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Ciaphas posted:

I try to trim my cat's claws
She hates it :(

Ive given up because I have so many cat scratchers that even if I trim them they just get sharp within 20 minutes. I just deal with the cuts, I think my arms and hands and feet are pure calluses.

GenericOverusedName
Nov 24, 2009

KUVA TEAM EPIC
My parents' cat HATES having her toes touched.

I make sure to fiddle with her toes whenever possible.

Synthbuttrange
May 6, 2007



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUS2UQTrjqc

He was not happy about the intruder

Tumblr of scotch
Mar 13, 2006

Please, don't be my neighbor.
When I'm standing or walking one of my cats will stand on his hind legs and reach way up to my waist to tell me he wants attention, and sometimes when he does I'll take a paw in each hand and do a little dance with him for a couple seconds.

RagnarokZ
May 14, 2004

Emperor of the Internet
I'll sometimes give the dog a piece of Crispbread, without breaking it.

And then watch amused as she tries to pick it up, she does it in the end, but it sure takes time.

She'll occasionally try and smash it with her paws.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Thin Privilege posted:

This sounds great and I will try this. Cat squishes :3:

It's a pretty cool way to get your chest and abdomen ripped up to the point of long-term hospitalization

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> BEWARE, COWARD :ovr:


Messing with your cat is fun and games until it claws at your lip for your hubris :(

Blackchamber
Jan 25, 2005

KomodoWagon posted:

It's a pretty cool way to get your chest and abdomen ripped up to the point of long-term hospitalization

Just ripped up? You gotta worry about them burrowing in like you like Luke in tauntaun or they are some kind of reverse alien chestburster.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Poor cat :kimchi: I also like the fake-grass rugs.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit
gotta pet them strongly, they need to toughen up :colbert:

EDIT:
I also like to remind my cat that being mean to little kitties is my favorite thing to do, by telling her that.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Blackchamber posted:

Just ripped up? You gotta worry about them burrowing in like you like Luke in tauntaun or they are some kind of reverse alien chestburster.

Cat declawer spotted

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

KomodoWagon posted:

Cat declawer spotted

Considering my cat has all her claws, I'd test this, but mine will immediately climb up on my shoulders any time I pick her up.

Pile of Kittens
Apr 23, 2005

Why does everything STILL smell like pussy?

I have a bird and she hates her little jingly whiffle balls with a passion. She methodically throws them out of her cage, and I put them back in while aggressively staring at her. She just stares back at me with hatred in her beady little eyes.

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese
I somehow got a really docile cat, so I will flip her on her back and sweep her across the floor like a mop. I haven't been clawed for this yet

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> BEWARE, COWARD :ovr:


Iron Crowned posted:

Considering my cat has all her claws, I'd test this, but mine will immediately climb up on my shoulders any time I pick her up.

Whenever I pick mine up she just hangs or lays real docile-ly and after a minute or two quietly mews really pathetically

I'm sure it's manipulative on her part but it's really heartbreaking nevertheless

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .
Doctor Rope
One time, to mess with my cat, I came in from work, put all my stuff down, and followed my cat around the apartment on all fours, occasionally meowing. He started acting agitated and displaying submissive behavior, so I stopped because I felt bad.

I don't mess with my cat too much, aside from imitating his meows back at him when he meows at me.

YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 01:10 on Aug 11, 2016

Tamarillo
Aug 6, 2009
Touch their toes a lot. Works with both species. Also when my dog is being a dick and doing his high pitched whine for food I will do a high-pitched-almost-inaudible whine back at him which he does not appreciate.

Friends of friends have a little girl with autism who loves cats and has basically a special therapy cat, one day she got a cat scratch for the very first time and her parents were shocked that such a placid cat would do that, and when they asked what happened to make him attack the little girl solemnly said "I poked him in his cat hole"

Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 13:10 on Aug 11, 2016

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Iron Crowned posted:

Considering my cat has all her claws, I'd test this, but mine will immediately climb up on my shoulders any time I pick her up.

Yours does this too? My cat jumps on my back and just sits or even plops down :catstare: so I walk around the apartment hunched over with him on my back like he's riding a horse. ...On the other hand that may be him messing with me. :catstare: :catstare:

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

Thin Privilege posted:

Yours does this too? My cat jumps on my back and just sits or even plops down :catstare: so I walk around the apartment hunched over with him on my back like he's riding a horse. ...On the other hand that may be him messing with me. :catstare: :catstare:

Same on all counts, although she'll get right by my ear and purr with the "tickle whiskers" :negative:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
I cuddle with them. Most can't tolerate it more than a few minutes but one is pretty good at chillin w me. But one time I cuddled him too hard and he squirmed away and left a huge cut near my jugular and ear. Bleeding all over the place. I still have a giant scar on my ear....

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Iron Crowned posted:

Same on all counts, although she'll get right by my ear and purr with the "tickle whiskers" :negative:

Mine, when he plops down, always does it backwards so his smelly butt is covering my ponytail. Luckily I can't smell the back of my head.

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

Thin Privilege posted:

Mine, when he plops down, always does it backwards so his smelly butt is covering my ponytail. Luckily I can't smell the back of my head.

I'm not sure which is worse, I have a big floof cat, so tail floof in my face would just get stuck in my beard stubble

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Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Iron Crowned posted:

I'm not sure which is worse, I have a big floof cat, so tail floof in my face would just get stuck in my beard stubble

Bonding :3: (literally)

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