Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

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Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

I always thought firefly tanks were cool

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 01:10

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 04:37

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

I enjoyed the Brothers in Arms games because they were as much about pointing and shouting as they were about actually shooting anybody. I liked SWAT 4 for the same reason. More FPS games need to be about pointing and shouting, in my opinion.

Also, tankchat caused me to remember that the KV-2 existed, which in my opinion looks like one of those tanks that probably ought to be fake (or at least a goofy prototype that never saw combat) but I guess nope, it was out there.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 05:00

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

feedmegin posted:

Royal Navy still got you beat - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HMS_Victory

(Granted, your one still floats, which is pretty awesome)

I did a tour of the constitution a couple years ago and all I have to say is that being a tall sailor back then must have sucked dick. Actually, pretty much everything about being a non-officer on one of those ships seems pretty hellish. Tall ships are far more romantic on the outside, I think.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 19:29

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Thanks for the effort post on the French defense, Kyoon. I have a follow up question though:

It sounds like one of the things that went wrong was that the French didn't reach their defense line in time to prepare the...defense. Since they were the defending faction, is there a reason they couldn't have just had their defenses prepared before the war started? Why did they wait until Germany was already attacking to start moving up to their planned defensive line?

There's probably something very obvious I'm overlooking (perhaps you even mentioned it in your post, I am on a phone and very sleepy) but that stuck out as odd to me.

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 21:12

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

xthetenth posted:

Their defense line wasn't inside their borders. They'd done the fighting a war in their borders thing, it loving sucked and they really didn't want a repeat.

Alright yeah that's what I'm missing. For some reason I thought France and Belgium/Netherlands were allies before the war but Google tells me they didn't join until Germany attacked. There it is then, RIP

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 21:19

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

OwlFancier posted:

If you like army organizational groups you will love ship classifications from the age of sail through to the modern day!

I can barely read Patrick O'Brian so I couldn't even imagine

# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 00:43

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Cyrano4747 posted:

Argh. No, no it was not. Will this myth not loving die?

I'm proud of myself; when I read that line, a little alarm went off in my head that said "that doesn't sound right" which means either that reading this thread has made me smarter, or that I already read about that myth and just forgot

# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 21:48

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Oh, pikeman

# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 19:07

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

HEY GAL posted:

this same sort of thing is why noerdlingen is my second favorite battle of the thirty years war. "find some good ground and dig a fortification on it" isn't sexy, but it gets poo poo done.

I thought being sexy was what your guys were all about

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 20:57

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

OwlFancier posted:

The Sherman Calliope would have had giant anime wings that fired rockets.

Red alert 4 lookin good

# ¿ Oct 20, 2016 20:30

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Cythereal posted:

MacArthur wanted to nuke China for basically no reason. No wonder Trump likes him.

Although Patton hated the Russians, so that's a little bit of a mystery.

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 00:37

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Fangz posted:

I kinda feel like if you have to pick a WW2 US general to hold up as your role model, you'd pick Eisenhower.

Only if you think about it first

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 01:48

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

xiansi posted:

Hey, it's not like we're taught this stuff!

I'm as English as your avatar, but happened to go to school with a girl called Siobhan, so I worked that one out early enough. Even though I've never met a Sin�ad in real life, there was a famous one in the '80s, so that helped.

And by the time I met my good friend Eoghan, who introduced me to Niamh, I was starting to get a handle on the whole thing. I'm sure I have more to learn though.

This one, I have no idea.

Gonna guess a silent g, but is is "cch" like in cheese, or more like the first one in cacio, or some other crazy poo poo?

I knew a Padraic and I would consistently accidentally pronounce his name wrong even after learning the right way

HEY GAL posted:

�ok-ki

Now explain wtf is going on with capicola

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 02:13

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

OwlFancier posted:

Wait what there's a place in the US actually called Glaow-ches-ter-shy-urr?

In MA we have a Worcester and a Leominster and only the English can pronounce them right

In Connecticut we had a Berlin but it was pronounced BURR-lin (emphasis on the first syllable)

And a New Britain pronounced New bri'in

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 02:17

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

I lied when I said English people could pronounce it right apparently; I guess New England joins Ireland in the "we've designed our language to frustrate you" club

Argus Zant posted:

I don't know about any Gloucestershire, but I do know of Gloucester (Gloss-ter) County, New Jersey, and, as was mentioned, Worcester (Worst-er) County, Maryland

Oh no, mine was in Massachusetts, and it's "Wuh-ster"

"Wuh-stuh" depending on where you go

# ¿ Oct 21, 2016 03:41

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Hogge Wild posted:

Boxer Rebellion:

Troops of the Eight-Nation Alliance in 1900. Left to right: Britain, United States, Australia, India, Germany, France, Russia, Italy, and Japan.

What the hell is going on with the Italian's hat?

# ¿ Nov 10, 2016 01:52

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

It seems like the feather might get in your eyes a little

Koramei posted:

i look forward to camouflage becoming obsolete one day so we can finally move on from the 19th century dress ones.

This is an element of my sci fi series that will be huge some day I swear

# ¿ Nov 10, 2016 03:24

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Fangz posted:

Well, war sucks then

Absolutely nothing indeed

# ¿ Nov 10, 2016 17:13

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Cyrano4747 posted:

It also shows that it's a skill you've bothered to cultivate. Anyone can "make his mark" and scraw something to show that he looked at a document, but actually consistently making legible letters is something that takes abit more than just knowing that two lines, a circle, and a half circle in the right order makes the word "cat."

It's absolutely true that there is a wide space between what Internet People in TYOOL 2016 consider literacy and being able to sign your name, but functional literacy for someone who isn't a scribe or scholar is also a much, much lower bar than people presume.

Think of it this way: How literate is your average second grader? They can read basic things, write sentences, etc, but no one would consider them fully literate in the 20th C.

Now imagine how much your average random dude could accomplish with 2nd grade literacy in Hegal's dudes' context. Even just being able to scrawl a three line letter to your buddy apologizing for that time you got drunk and shot his horse out your window is enough for some 21st century historian to put you in her dissertation.

THEN stagger that line of thought along a little further and imagine how many people know someone who is capable of writing a letter for them or reading one they got. Access to others who are literate is just as much a concept you have to track as actual literacy itself.

We really need to keep those people away from windows

# ¿ Nov 11, 2016 13:46

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Pistol_Pete posted:

I could go on but the whole book is like this. I love the image of the peasant venturing a few fields too far from home, becoming hopelessly lost and wandering the country forever.

This sounds like a good book if you pretend it's a fantasy novel

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 20:03

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

JaucheCharly posted:

Isn't Russia famous for people getting hillariously lost in the woods?

Those who wander not lost

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 00:04

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

I will never not laugh at a windows joke in this thread

# ¿ Dec 14, 2016 19:02

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Hogge Wild posted:

From Wikipedia:

Stanley P. Lovell, Deputy Director for Research and Development of the Office of Strategic Services, reports in his book Of Spies and Stratagems that the Allies knew the Germans had quantities of Gas Blau available for use in the defense of the Atlantic Wall. The use of nerve gas on the Normandy beachhead would have seriously impeded the Allies and possibly caused the invasion to fail altogether. He submitted the question "Why was nerve gas not used in Normandy?" to be asked of Hermann G�ring during his interrogation. G�ring answered that the reason gas was not used had to do with horses. The Wehrmacht was dependent upon horse-drawn transport to move supplies to their combat units, and had never been able to devise a gas mask horses could tolerate; the versions they developed would not pass enough pure air to allow the horses to pull a cart. Thus, gas was of no use to the German Army under most conditions.

Is that true or was Goering trolling? I googled "gas masks for horses" on a whim and it looks like both sides were using them in WWI; maybe they figured out that they just weren't good enough, or maybe it was a different kind of gas that made the old masks useless or something?

Or maybe google turned up unreliable results, I did not dig very deep

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 18:09

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Ensign Expendable posted:

I think the WWI ones were for cavalry, not draft horses.

What would be the difference between the two for gas mask purposes?

It would seem the mister ed theme song lied to me

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 18:46

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Jobbo_Fett posted:

Depends on the size of the shell, but I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you

Also depends on environmental conditions and where/how the shell detonates. A gas shell that explodes in a body of water is generally useless.

On another note, the British apparently labelled some of their rockets (as well as US-built ones) as "Chemical" in type. Haven't seen anything to further this, but I did come across two fun rockets.

One contains a net composed of ~~detcord~~ Cordtex (Primacord) and one is an Anti Submarine Depth Charge Rocket!

Gassing a submarine crew is hard to do but if you pull it off...man

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 18:57

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

turn it up TURN ME ON posted:

I spent my entire childhood theorycrafting why the Empire was actually cool and good.

Playing TIE fighter makes it tempting to do that. Unfortunately all those theories fall apart once you acknowledge the guy at the top of the org chart who is an evil wizard that shoots lightning out of his hands

. I never figured out a way to get around it

# ¿ Dec 27, 2016 20:48

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

bewbies posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w574XSFPFkk

I dunno if this has been posted yet but I dont know what is going on here

Soviet Fury? I'd watch

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 03:39

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

OwlFancier posted:

Clean Imperial Star Navy!

Not sure if character is dreaming and wearing pyjamas or is member of penal battalion?

I've been reading the russia thread too much, but I half expected them to go into slav squat instead of taking a knee at that one part.

Of course they wouldn't, though, I understand that.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 04:21

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Agean90 posted:

Luigi Cadorna, the WW1 Italian general decided that if attacking the alps once didnt work, then doing it twelve times totally would!

Spoilers: It didnt.

This is me playing EU4

Also, what's wrong with McArthur? That's a genuine question, not a defensive one. I'm American and all I really know about the guy is the hero mythos now that I think about it, I'd love to be disillusioned.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 14:54

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Cyrano4747 posted:

No, it was Westmoreland. This was his explanation for why killing the gently caress out of the Vietnamese didn't win the war. They are unfeeling Orientals who don't value life, hence why our flattening their country didn't bring them to their knees.

I assume he must have also believed this about British people to explain why they didn't surrender during the blitz, unless there was something different about them (but what?)

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 20:01

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Clearly the shortest route is to fly through the Pacific Ocean and come up through the Atlantic :rolleyes:

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 22:08

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Mantis42 posted:

Bond 'dies' and is reincarnated as a Japanese person, just like every goons' dream.

I loved the theme though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tbobaz8nn4

# ¿ Dec 29, 2016 00:53

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

SeanBeansShako posted:

most honourable (hahahaha)

I'd be curious to know what you meant by that--which again I say as a genuine question, not a defensive one, I'm largely ignorant of the North African campaign besides what I hear in The Stories.

# ¿ Dec 29, 2016 16:03

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

MikeCrotch posted:

The current USA also isn't in two simultaneous transoceanic wars with peer competitor industrial powers though. I'm sure if there was a planned wartime economy Lockmart could start cracking out planes a bit faster than they do now.

I would be funny to see the history books 30 years after WWIII laughing at the LCS or the F-35 in the same way we laugh at the Mark 14 torpedo though.

I'm just glad the world will still have laughter then

# ¿ Dec 29, 2016 18:20

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

It looks like if a plane tried cupping

# ¿ Dec 30, 2016 20:17

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

feedmegin posted:

I direct your attention to Russia.

I've played Red Alert, they're a sub-heavy navy for sure

# ¿ Dec 31, 2016 02:00

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

skooma512 posted:

You'll be a very rich man if you can figure out how to get urban combat out of the way cleanly and quickly. I'm sure people in the Pentagon aren't really thrilled when they have to figure what to do about places Beijing, Mexico City, or Moscow.

I live in Los Angeles and I've thought about how you would try to invade this place. The north has a huge mountain range, the northwest is also hilly and forces you into valleys, and the south and east are all sprawl. Coming in from the north to the city proper is limited by mountain (as commuters know well). Invading by ocean probably would work, but youll have air and sea power to contend with the whole way.

And then what do you have if you do? This city is challenging to traverse and control during peace. It offers no resources and a lot of angry mouths to feed with handguns.

Blow up the San Andreas fault and sink LA into the sea, imo

As for what to do in the event of an invasion,

# ¿ Jan 11, 2017 22:28

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

SeanBeansShako posted:

Quite a few surgeons with artistic skill put to art the horrific wounds of this era if you think you can handle the images.

Took me a second to realize you were talking about actual art here. For a bit, I was imagining surgeons going insane from stress and experimenting in body mods on their patients.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 20:41

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

Actually, a follwup question from my own post: Do battlefield medics/surgeons tend to have a higher incidence of PTSD or stress-related mental disorders than other soldiers? Open question for any time period or place, I guess.

My gut reaction would be that they'd be more prone to it; just being in combat is bad enough, but to be the person who has to spend all their time around bleeding screaming soldiers with their guts hanging out (and sometimes watching them die even though it's your job to try and stop that) would have to do a number on your mental health.

# ¿ Jan 12, 2017 21:19

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# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 04:37

Ainsley McTree: Feb 19, 2004

HEY GAL posted:

pappenheim after white mountain. it's why his forehead looks the way it does in the paintings

i want to put in a word for how early modern medicine could sometimes not be poo poo, for instance they knew how to take bullets out of dudes and i have read a medical textbook that talks about cleaning wounds

edit: and i'm not sure the fracture could have set if someone didn't strap his head back together, so

*googles pappenheim*

Oh god it's a star trek alien

Also, I feel like the 30yw would be amazing fodder for a dynasty warriors-type game and I just made myself sad that that game doesn't exist.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2017 03:03

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