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Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Switchblade Switcharoo
They Never have done penis inspections in schools. Outside of penn state.

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turbomoose
Nov 29, 2008
Playing the banjo can be a relaxing activity and create lifelong friendships!
\
:backtowork:
My middle school gym teacher was arrested for having kiddie porn on his computer. The really messed up part was that on the local news article online a bunch of the current crop of middle school kids were defending him in the comments

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

criscodisco posted:

Another time someone in class pantsed him, because he just wore those 70's style gym shorts. He started yelling at us but never pulled his pants up so his weener just hung out for a good 5 minutes.

pretty baller not gonna lie

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

criscodisco posted:

I never had a penis inspection, but my gym teacher had an office inside the locker room, and he'd set up a camcorder and record the lockers and shower.

I guess he was just going a visual inspection in his off hours?

All jokes aside, he really did that. Looking back on it, it's pretty weird, but at the time it just seemed like he was making sure we didn't act up. Another time someone in class pantsed him, because he just wore those 70's style gym shorts. He started yelling at us but never pulled his pants up so his weener just hung out for a good 5 minutes.
He probably knew he was gonna get a boner looking at kid penises and so didn't do the penis inspections in person out of common courtesy.

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Yeah he was a good guy like that.

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970



careful Chris

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem
I'd hurriedly slather my junk in bathroom hand soap during a break just before the inspection (for maximum cleanliness, of course) then call in a sick day once the flaming pee-hole sets in.

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


just carry around a watermelon scented thing of that hand sanitizer everyone with OCD has all the time watermelon smells clean always

darkhand
Jan 18, 2010

This beard just won't do!
Inspect this, idiot
*whips out donger*
hahah... oh wait

Friginator
May 13, 2014

by zen death robot
#dicksoutforharambe

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins
I remember on penis inspection day freshman year the gym teacher took pictures of all our penises after he inspected them. He said it was a part of the new federal school fitness program and that it was endorsed by Arnold Schwarzenegger and President Bill Clinton. He told me I should be a professional penis model and that he knew some names in the industry but I told him I was too shy. Despite my shyness, I feel pretty proud knowing that pictures of my penis exist in the records of both Arnold and Bill.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Bill Clinton endorsing penis inspections of young school kids?

checks out imo prolly on that lolita express with those pics

darkhand
Jan 18, 2010

This beard just won't do!
Penis modeling is usually a scam by weird shadow companies. They make you pay like 900$ to take your headshots

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Dang, I've been giving out headshots like a fool.

Eastbound Spider
Jan 2, 2011



In my school they did bum check instead.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007


thats a bad word

im tellin

Elusif
Jun 9, 2008


hey dude uh, a yobber got probated for this image homie

Elusif
Jun 9, 2008

Celluloid Sam posted:

careful Chris

this yobber right here

flick my Mr. Bean
Nov 18, 2014

they had a single day for it and not once a week at your school? :confused:

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

borkborkborkmorkmorkmork-gabbalooins

dog buttz posted:

they had a single day for it and not once a week at your school? :confused:

It was normally once a semester but they made it once a week for eight weeks one time after this Mormon senior chick got pregnant.

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
*gets inspected once, tapes on a fake mustache and scampers to the end of the line*

Deafboy
Dec 5, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Fuckin weirdo

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Moridin920 posted:

edge a bunch beforehand so the second they touch my engorged dil it just spews cum everywhere

John Denver Hoxha
May 31, 2014

What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts
Yowza.... Penis inspector? I hardly know 'er!

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


E Equals MC Hammer posted:

hey dude uh, a yobber got probated for this image homie

how dare you, I post freely except in fyad

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
All you gotta do is let juffo wup fill your fibers.

tag youre fat
Aug 16, 2013

C'est l'homme ideal
charme au masculin
lol if you didn't take ap penis inspection

upgunned shitpost
Jan 21, 2015

yell 'RAPE'
but more like a battlecry than a defense mechanism

barnold
Dec 16, 2011


what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

is your ability to own the assault rifle in any way dependent on the results of your penis inspection?

yea if u have a tiny dingding you can only buy like glocks and other pussy rear end guns

to qualify for an AR-15 you gotta be girthy as heck

The_end
May 17, 2014
We had to include our best penis tricks. I always would pretend i couldn't see and ask if the inspector could read my watch. Which was just my penis draped across my wrist.

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

The_end posted:

We had to include our best penis tricks. I always would pretend i couldn't see and ask if the inspector could read my watch. Which was just my penis draped across my wrist.

https://youtu.be/p68JOF9G2PI

Hustlin Floh
Jul 20, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The_end posted:

We had to include our best penis tricks. I always would pretend i couldn't see and ask if the inspector could read my watch. Which was just my penis draped across my wrist.

I did a wicked grind down my penis with one of those Tech Decks.

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
the word "inspection" begins with an anagram of "penis" lmao

Grandma Panic!
Nov 4, 2006
we would have our inspections the same day we had to get our immunization shots, which seemed really wrong to me somehow even back then? I guess it was good to get it all out of the way at once but goddamn didn't look forward to that day.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
*shoots mom the angriest scowl when I get home and immediately run upstairs and slam the door to my room*

Praxis Prion
Apr 11, 2002

The sky is a landfill.
Pillbug
the worst part is when they would comb your pubes for group pictures. my schwartz would always get all twisted in hair.

wide stance
Jan 28, 2011

If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then he will do it that way.

Praxis Prion posted:

the worst part is when they would comb your pubes for group pictures. my schwartz would always get all twisted in hair.

Only the wide tooth comb works dammit.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

Whaddaya mean you're not supposed to inspect penis with ur butt?!?!

Spiderjelly
Aug 22, 2006

Sign of evil.

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Friginator
May 13, 2014

by zen death robot
"Dammit! It's penis inspection day and I left my penis at home again!"

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