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I used to drink alot. I don't drink anymore. I used to be happy. I don't be happy anymore.
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Aug 4, 2016 21:02
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:35 |
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I had a lovely landlord when I was in college. I lived with my best friend at the time in this lovely little town in Wisconsin. He stuck around the town after graduation. I went up to see him, and it happened that the town festival was going on and Styx was playing that night, so we went to the concert. If you've never been to a lovely midwestern town's festival, usually how it works is there are beer tents, and you buy a bunch of tickets from a booth, and trade the tickets for beer. I bought enough for a few beers, and went into the beer tent with my buddy. It turned out that he knew the lady working behind the counter, and it also turned out that she works with my old landlord. She also hated my old landlord's guts, so we commiserated, and the beer lady ended up giving me free beers all night. What started as enough for 3 beers turned into way too many. The night started to get a bit fuzzy sometime before the concert ended. I remember some bits of the show, but I certainly don't remember leaving. I do remember being at a bar afterwards. I had already made a bunch of bad decisions, and decided to double down and ordered a round of long islands for me, my buddy, and a couple of folks we had met at the concert. I gave the waitress a $50 to pay for it. When she brought me back my change I noticed she had given me back $60. The place was busy, and she probably thought I'd given her $100 bill. I flagged her down the next time I saw her and told her I'd only given her a $50 in the first place, and gave her back the extra $50 bucks. She ran off, but came back later and told me that it was cool how I didn't stiff her, and gave me a free drink. Then the bartender started giving me free drinks. I don't know if I paid for anything the rest of the night because the next thing I remember was waking up on the roof of someone's porch in a puddle of my own vomit. In a town 25 miles away from where the concert was. I had lost my cellphone at some point that night, and I couldn't remember my friend's number. I ended up trying to hitch a ride while covered in my own vomit, while nursing the worst hangover I've ever had. Thank god for dudes with pick-up trucks.
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Aug 4, 2016 21:17
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notZaar posted:I wish all you full blown alcoholics would get past the "forums posting" phase and hurry up to the "grand mal seizures in the drunk tank" phase. I wish you would stfu
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Aug 4, 2016 22:12
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I ran into this dude who-also-banged an ex gf of mine, at happy hour. Several too many rounds later and we were quite jolly. Went to my place to blaze some trees and I somehow ended up loving him in his bottom. A real sweet guy though; ex gf had excellent taste in men.
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Aug 4, 2016 22:48
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I drank a sensible amount of alcohol then took a taxi home whereupon I drank some water to rehydrate my body and retired to bed at a sensible hour.
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Aug 4, 2016 22:54
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Champenema posted:I ran into this dude who-also-banged an ex gf of mine, at happy hour. Several too many rounds later and we were quite jolly. Went to my place to blaze some trees and I somehow ended up loving him in his bottom. This is a thread for exceptional stories, please don't post everyday common stuff that we've all done.
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Aug 4, 2016 23:03
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The dreadful feeling of puking out booze you just bought. All the money literally going into the toilet when it could have gotten you drunker 
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Aug 4, 2016 23:43
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Imapanda posted:The dreadful feeling of puking out booze you just bought. All the money literally going into the toilet when it could have gotten you drunker yeah because you puked in the toilet and not into a bowl or bucket that you could easily recover your alcohol drinking out of the toilet is gross
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Aug 4, 2016 23:47
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lol @ anyone who goes to sleep willingly and doesnt just pass out from drunkeness every night (or day)
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Aug 4, 2016 23:48
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frogge posted:I once took the early morning subway train home after a night of binge drinking and woke up 3 hours way the gently caress out of town with 30 minutes until the next train that'd take me back because I went on the wrong side. Probably the worst hangover ever. Yeah, I've done that. But I must live in a smaller city than you, because this was the last train until the next morning. I was only 7 miles or so from home, so I walked until I got to a reasonably lighted bus stop.
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Aug 5, 2016 19:51
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drguildo posted:I drank a sensible amount of alcohol then took a taxi home whereupon I drank some water to rehydrate my body and retired to bed at a sensible hour. Goddam, man you need to slow down, I'm concerned 
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Aug 5, 2016 19:55
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It was playoff season and my girlfriend and I (who i worked with) went to another co-workers house to watch the game. We proceeded to get incredibly drunk and all i can remember from that evening is my girlfriend riding my dick on said co-workers floor. When i showed up to work the next day massively hung-over, it turns out we had prank called our boss and cussed him out. He recognized our voices of course and he sent me home that day after a thorough tongue lashing. I quit that job within a week.
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Aug 5, 2016 20:08
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I got blackout drunk every night from October 2014 to like April 2015. Once sent like a 6 page message to a chick I knew from my brief time in college, ended up sleeping with her for like a year. Once got so drunk at a Halloween party I started hitting people with a flogger. Evidently I pregamed so hard that I brought a flogger. Did 90 down a 45 blacking in and out for cigarettes, that was scary as gently caress. Got so drunk at the Gathering of the Juggalos I woke up in a strangers tent at like 4 AM and scared the poo poo out of the poor guy. Oh yeah, one time me and my ex were hosting a Halloween party where I ended up nailing my buddy in the face with a double ended dildo from across the apartment, laughed for like 15 minutes straight.
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Aug 5, 2016 20:18
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signalnoise posted:1700 loving dollars Haha, loving USA mug! NHS looking pretty good now eh uncle loving Sam.
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Aug 5, 2016 20:49
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Also some bellend bragging about starting at 8PM, WOW that's loving early aint it! try half 10 AM in wetherspoons mate, large breakfast and a uri geller, or nelson mandella if you prefer.
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Aug 5, 2016 20:52
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PANIC ON FUNKOTRON posted:Also some bellend bragging about starting at 8PM, WOW that's loving early aint it! try half 10 AM in wetherspoons mate, large breakfast and a uri geller, or nelson mandella if you prefer. am I drunk or do you just post like a "r" word 
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Aug 5, 2016 21:45
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My story is that I am drinking right now.
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Aug 5, 2016 23:07
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When I was 17-19 my usual drink was a Snakebite, cider and blackcurrent. Until I woke up thinking was covered in blood, freaking the gently caress out that someone slashed me while I was asleep. It was just my own vomit. Never touched that drink again.
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Aug 5, 2016 23:37
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I drank a single shot of this BaronJaeger poo poo. (like Jaegermeister but made with honey) two times and passed out each time. Seeing the black dots, feeling fainty, waking up on the bar floor getting slapped...I think it was more some kind of insulin shock than the booze. It's made from honey; extremely sweet.
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Aug 6, 2016 00:14
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I had just gotten released from a week long mental health hold for attempting an act of ritual blood magick in public to summon my Holy Guardian Angel to help me with my final exam, which was naturally interpreted as a psychotic break and a suicide attempt. I only kind of wanted to die and I wasn't crazy. Anyway, I naturally decided that getting piss drunk and playing in an online bitcoin poker tournament was the best way to celebrate my newfound freedom and medical debt. So I was chasing back Cuba Libres one after the other, basically playing tight aggressive according to some half-understood mixture of Sklansky and Janda and common table habits. As I got drunker, I started talking to random people about magick, and then apologizing and admitting I was drunk. At some point, I don't remember when, I began making decisions on impulse, figuring this impulse must be a message from God, either directly or via my daemon, who is naturally a fragment of God because God is the summation of all life energy, duh. I don't really remember the rest, but I do remember the following things happening. 1. I started severely oversharing with everyone at the table about everything that had recently transpired to me 2. Everyone started saying variations of "Ha. Ha. Ha." and "That's not funny" 3. I went off on a drunken tangent about how God would grant me the victory because God includes all things, including absolute suck 4. I won more and more in more and more ridiculous ways 5. Some player with an asian sounding name kept saying "drunk with power" every time I won. 6. I posted a bible quote. I remember the bible quote because I had been obsessing over it while sober. It was the end of Jonah, that says: quote:But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was very angry. the implications of this quote to my own case being too obvious to bother explaining. At the end I was basically blackout drunk, but when I woke up the next morning I had 1.50 credits which at the time was equivalent to winning an average sized tournament on SWC.
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Aug 6, 2016 01:11
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yesterday we were drunk driving around the beach searching for pokemon and smoking weed that's my story
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Aug 6, 2016 21:08
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it was new years eve and i threw up on my friend's floor and then this girl slipped in the puke three weeks later we had sex
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Aug 6, 2016 21:15
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Ferroque posted:it was new years eve and i threw up on my friend's floor and then this girl slipped in the puke That's a hell of a coma.
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Aug 7, 2016 03:42
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 13:35 |
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Bought a $700 BMX bike for nostalgia. Rode it 3 times or so. Got blitzed, decided it was an awesome idea to go riding at like 2AM. No helmet. Fell off. 3 inch scalp wound. Superglue, ruined bedsheets, freaked out wife. Bike still has blood on the chrome frame. That poo poo is staying there. Hardcore.
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Aug 7, 2016 03:51
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