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a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

oldpainless posted:

Whataburger

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zimboe
Aug 3, 2012

FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded
Every time I hear of a rapper crapper dropping dead of an overdose, or a petty personal conflict solved with handguns, my heart soars.
The gene pool is thus improved.
...
Does the Darwin Award apply if his kids die too?
...
I'm not a racist. It's just that too many famous Black Persons are TOTAL ASSHOLES.
Refute my reasoning.

Nathilus
Apr 4, 2002

I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.
I asked for a shiner bock at a bar in a disney world hotel once and while they didn't have any, they got asked for it enough that the bartender had a somewhat similar beer ready instead.

Other great things about texas:

1. Tacos
2. Breakfast tacos
3. A lot of space for everything
4. VERY LARGE SERVINGS
5. Steers
6. Queers
7. I have no horns
8. The hookah/head shop across the street from dobie
9. The pho place next to that
10. WILLIE NELSON

Bad things about texas:

1. Most of the gulf coast shoreline :barf:
2. Takes for loving ever to drive across
3. Summer hot
4. East texas (think deliverence + bayous)
5. There are still some gringos left

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Mycroft Holmes posted:

gently caress texas barbecue north carolina for life

You, sir, you go to hell!

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011


Pork Pro

hth posted:

come to texas

its ok if youre a white guy

Seems pretty cool for the middle and upper middle class hispanic friends I have out there, too.

And Asians seem to like it there

Noun Verber
Oct 12, 2006

Cool party, guys.
Clean your loving bong you disgusting sister-loving oilrat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxP442T-aZ0

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Noun Verber posted:

Clean your loving bong you disgusting sister-loving oilrat.

Don't. Sign. Your Posts.

Noun Verber
Oct 12, 2006

Cool party, guys.

The Bananana posted:

Don't. Sign. Your Posts.

Aren't you the guy everyone tried to pressure into suicide a few years ago? You should have been.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

the good fax machine
Feb 26, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo
Nice wood paneling OP, let's see some more pictures of your poverty home

Mycroft Holmes
Mar 26, 2010

by Azathoth

The Bananana posted:

You, sir, you go to hell!

why would I go to texas?

RestingB1tchFace
Jul 4, 2016

Opinions are like a$$holes....everyone has one....but mines the best!!!
Texas isn't even the best state whose name starts with a "T".

Triggered
Aug 21, 2016

Learn about this great man on mormon.org
Went to texas once as a kid. Saw a lot of fat white racists and the place smelled like poo poo. 0/10 worst place I have been to and I have spent time in India.

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec
Knowing that goons live in Texas means that it's the biggest group of losers there since the Alamo

poverty goat
Feb 15, 2004



remember a few years back when there was a measles outbreak around an anti-vaccination texas megachurch

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Texas is bigger than France.

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Knowing that goons live in Texas means that it's the biggest group of losers there since the Alamo

BITCH!!!

e: sorry I am at work right now and I am grouchy.

This is what I do at work:

Hector Beerlioz
Jun 16, 2010

aw, hec

:agesilaus:

poopnanners
May 3, 2016

hey guys lets party
dont gently caress with Texas

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

marauderthirty posted:

Nice wood paneling OP, let's see some more pictures of your poverty home

haha jokes on you im house sitting for someone right now :smug: my actual house is way worse

monkey
Jan 20, 2004

by zen death robot
Yams Fan

oldpainless posted:

Texas is bigger than France.

If Texas were part of Australia, it would be the 2nd smallest state and would have more people in it than the rest of the country combined.

Texas is a tiny, overcrowded place.

Uncle Salty
Jan 19, 2008
BOYS
When I used to have to go to Dallas for work I would get off the plane at 9am in my business lady suit and heels and go straight to the Whataburger in the terminal, then I'd go to work.
I actually didn't hate Dallas.

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona
texas sucks shiner bock sucks but lean is cool and good so you could say i have mixed opinions on texas

proof of concept
Mar 6, 2005

by FactsAreUseless

Iron Prince posted:

if you say so *drives off*



there's a reason these rims have remained a houston thing, and the reason is that they are retarded even by the standards of people who care and think a lot about rims

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Iron Prince posted:

if you say so *drives off*



thats a middle aged curly hair schoolteacher-looking white lady driving a rimmed candy painted cadillac

texas is a strange place

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

OMGVBFLOL posted:

thats a middle aged curly hair schoolteacher-looking white lady driving a rimmed candy painted cadillac

texas is a strange place

bitch thats former mayor of houston anisse parker

e: i think. gently caress if i remember what she looked like. could be ann richards for all i give a poo poo

FAN OF NICKELBACK
Apr 9, 2002
I miss San Antonio a ton. It's the most milquetoast part of Texas in the same way socks are the most milquetoast part of any wardrobe.

mailorder bees
Nov 4, 2011

FLUFFERNUTTER
i live in texas and it sux so
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccgkxP-4tVE

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

monkey posted:

If Texas were part of Australia, it would be the 2nd smallest state and would have more people in it than the rest of the country combined.

Texas is a tiny, overcrowded place.

more like australia isnt taking advantage of its fuckin resources, rear end.

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

get a load of my rear end
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5vJuulyLBw

mailorder bees
Nov 4, 2011

FLUFFERNUTTER
no
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccgkxP-4tVE

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord
gently caress AHHHHHHHHHHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

zimboe
Aug 3, 2012

FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded
I have never been to Texas, but I plan to correct that before I die.
...
One word:
ARMADILLOS
Funny lookin' little critters, like armored war-rats from Mars.
I've always wanted one, paint up his armored plates in metal-flake purple like the Texas Pimpmobile in the post above.

But they carry leprosy, I hears.
So I'll wear gloves when I pet the little 'dillos.
...
What are armadillos, phylogenetically?
Rodents, ugly squirrels, tiny horses, mutated moles, opossums with an attitude, What?
They don't seem to fit the usual categories.

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona

zimboe posted:

I have never been to Texas, but I plan to correct that before I die.
...
One word:
ARMADILLOS
Funny lookin' little critters, like armored war-rats from Mars.
I've always wanted one, paint up his armored plates in metal-flake purple like the Texas Pimpmobile in the post above.

But they carry leprosy, I hears.
So I'll wear gloves when I pet the little 'dillos.
...
What are armadillos, phylogenetically?
Rodents, ugly squirrels, tiny horses, mutated moles, opossums with an attitude, What?
They don't seem to fit the usual categories.

you frighten me sir

mailorder bees
Nov 4, 2011

FLUFFERNUTTER

zimboe posted:

I have never been to Texas, but I plan to correct that before I die.
...
One word:
ARMADILLOS
Funny lookin' little critters, like armored war-rats from Mars.
I've always wanted one, paint up his armored plates in metal-flake purple like the Texas Pimpmobile in the post above.

But they carry leprosy, I hears.
So I'll wear gloves when I pet the little 'dillos.
...
What are armadillos, phylogenetically?
Rodents, ugly squirrels, tiny horses, mutated moles, opossums with an attitude, What?
They don't seem to fit the usual categories.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccgkxP-4tVE

DeNomolos
Jan 10, 2013

mild mannered meatspin historian
i live in texas. texas is a wet turd in a belt buckle and a lovely hat that will always do it's best to hurt the people that live in it. it's a state so bad they have to indoctrinate people with state history classes to get them to care, and i'll always take pride that I'm not actually from here.

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

ChuckDeNomolos posted:

i live in texas. texas is a wet turd in a belt buckle and a lovely hat that will always do it's best to hurt the people that live in it. it's a state so bad they have to indoctrinate people with state history classes to get them to care, and i'll always take pride that I'm not actually from here.

i got a C in texas history in community college so how bout that fucko :smug:


e: and a B in texas government

ee: still got my associates in general study as an honor grad :smug:

Iron Prince fucked around with this message at 08:35 on Aug 22, 2016

mailorder bees
Nov 4, 2011

FLUFFERNUTTER

ChuckDeNomolos posted:

i live in texas. texas is a wet turd in a belt buckle and a lovely hat that will always do it's best to hurt the people that live in it. it's a state so bad they have to indoctrinate people with state history classes to get them to care, and i'll always take pride that I'm not actually from here.

now you;re taling

DeNomolos
Jan 10, 2013

mild mannered meatspin historian

Iron Prince posted:

i got a C in texas history in community college so how bout that fucko :smug:


e: and a B in texas government

ee: still got my associates in general study as an honor grad :smug:

the test for all texas history classes is, "do you like lone star," and the answers were, "yes," and, "i'm a big homo with butt kissin' lips"

edit: but i am sitting here with a dead six pack of shiner ocktoberfest and a big bottle of shiner regular, so i guess the OP isn't completely wrong

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

ChuckDeNomolos posted:

the test for all texas history classes is, "do you like lone star," and the answers were, "yes," and, "i'm a big homo with butt kissin' lips"

bitch i threw up in class one time and my prof could tell from the stench that i had been drinking lone star and gave me an A+

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DeNomolos
Jan 10, 2013

mild mannered meatspin historian

Iron Prince posted:

bitch i threw up in class one time and my prof could tell from the stench that i had been drinking lone star and gave me an A+

who among us hasn't vomitted from lone star beer, the beer of the lone star state, which is texas, home of lone star bee

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