- FactsAreUseless
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I am the president of a very small country. There aren't many of us. Today, I get to be president. Next week, maybe somebody else will be president. Maybe Diane will be president, or Oskar. I have a lot of initiatives. I want to change the lightbulb in the streetlight. I want to do chalk art in the street as a public beautification project. I will draw a duck, and then I will draw a duck. My country has no bodies of water, and I dream of ducks. I want to build a park in Kumail's front lawn using eminent domain. I want to have nuclear weapons, and I want to use the nuclear weapons.
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Aug 24, 2016 09:08
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Mar 19, 2024 13:08
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- alnilam
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Does your country have the national assets of 1. a shovel and 2. a hose, if so i think i have a plan for achieving your water feature dream
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Aug 24, 2016 13:00
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- AAB
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You may consider hiring lobbyists or enabling children to be ambassadors to the other kids. That way they can sidewalk chalk up some good plans.
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Aug 24, 2016 13:06
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- Twerkteam Pizza
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I am the president of a very small country. There aren't many of us. Today, I get to be president. Next week, maybe somebody else will be president. Maybe Diane will be president, or Oskar. I have a lot of initiatives. I want to change the lightbulb in the streetlight. I want to do chalk art in the street as a public beautification project. I will draw a duck, and then I will draw a duck. My country has no bodies of water, and I dream of ducks. I want to build a park in Kumail's front lawn using eminent domain. I want to have nuclear weapons, and I want to use the nuclear weapons.
Have you considered invading Iran?
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Aug 24, 2016 13:59
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- Beefeater
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I'm hungry.
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I will bring industry to your country and boost the economy by opening a lemonade stand in front of Oskar's house.
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Aug 24, 2016 14:19
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- FactsAreUseless
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Tried to get a national anthem going but the Casio is busted and nobody wants taxes to pay for a new one.
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Aug 24, 2016 15:16
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- nvm no cake
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The guy from across the street let his dog poop on Diane's lawn again. We tried to chase him but we had to stop at the sidewalk because that's international borders and out of our jurisdiction.
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Aug 24, 2016 16:06
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- FluffieDuckie
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The guy from across the street let his dog poop on Diane's lawn again. We tried to chase him but we had to stop at the sidewalk because that's international borders and out of our jurisdiction.
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Aug 24, 2016 16:16
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- Android Blues
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kumail's lawn is frankly wasteful as it must be nourished from the small cup of water we all have to pass around and sip from on a continuous relay of the entire nation (10min/circuit)
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Aug 24, 2016 17:28
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- Android Blues
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when i watch kumail avert his eyes and lightly incline the cup, so that small droplets spill onto the grass of his lawn, i am glad he is barred from the presidency due to his first generation immigrant status.
i am not prejudiced - he is fully naturalised - but people who were born in the big victorian across the street are simply not fitted for the role, and his wasteful environmental policy is living proof of that.
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Aug 24, 2016 17:34
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- Android Blues
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don't get me started on people who were born in "the hospital". go back where you came from, bandageys
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Aug 24, 2016 17:34
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- FactsAreUseless
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My manifest destiny is to rule all the land from the big tree to the hole with the frogs in it.
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Aug 24, 2016 17:40
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- darkarchon
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My name is a trolling word
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please put nails on the streets to prevent car crashes and traffic
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Aug 24, 2016 17:41
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- DOPE FIEND KILLA G
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we have a forest. it's really just a shrub, but i like to think of it as a forest for ants. it's a national treasure, really
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Aug 24, 2016 17:46
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- google THIS
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i've been thinking about building a wall because I'm worried a stepdad will jump the border and steal my job as man of the house
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Aug 24, 2016 17:49
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- Beefeater
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I'm hungry.
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I have a sandbox next to a kiddie pool in my backyard. I invite everyone to visit Beefeater Beach before summer is over.
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Aug 24, 2016 17:51
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Im worried my curtains are allowing too much light into my country, allowing mrs. pearson to steal my secrets
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Aug 24, 2016 17:55
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- Android Blues
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Im worried my curtains are allowing too much light into my country, allowing mrs. pearson to steal my secrets
the tendency of pearsonian aggression must not be allowed to thrive unchecked. my idea is, we send a noise complaint to the UN
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Aug 24, 2016 18:03
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- super mario batali
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Dice-a the Mushroom
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Im worried my curtains are allowing too much light into my country, allowing mrs. pearson to steal my secrets
Send her to Siberia (the vacant lot)
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Aug 24, 2016 18:03
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- Android Blues
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i have reported little timmy across the street to NATO for riding his bike across my begonias, and they are coming to airlift him to the the hague with maximum prejudice soon
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Aug 24, 2016 18:05
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- FactsAreUseless
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Expecting a big national population boom, as I have been loving lately.
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Aug 24, 2016 18:06
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- google THIS
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the IScream truck has been maneuvering far too close to our borders, they are already instituting sherbia law in some of the nations down the street
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Aug 24, 2016 18:09
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- Android Blues
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me on the phone with barack obama, theresa may, françois hollande...all the good world leaders basically: yeah, haha, that's so cool. yeah. yeah. in our country we *putin dials into the call* *everyone trying VERY hard not to laugh about our in jokes together*
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Aug 24, 2016 18:12
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- Beefeater
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I'm hungry.
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My lemonade stand in front of Oskar's house is doing well. I invested in a second pitcher and two more cups to keep up with national demand.
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Aug 24, 2016 18:12
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- FactsAreUseless
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At the G20 summit but nobody has noticed yet.
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Aug 24, 2016 18:15
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- Android Blues
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Oskar keeps referring to Theresa May as "Theresa", like "oh, Theresa will be really happy to hear that," or "yeah, Theresa's a big fan of the formal boundaries pushed by modern ska". he's so full of it. she wasn't even appointed yet the last time he was president, and additionally, everyone knows she prefers the mainstream early 2000s ska popularised by such bands as Reel Big Fish or Bowling 4 Soup
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Aug 24, 2016 18:16
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- HighwireAct
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Pozzo's Hat
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“all rise for the national anthem”
🎶…wouldn't you like to get away?
sometimes you want to go
where everybody knows your name🎶
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Aug 24, 2016 18:20
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- Ace of Baes
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Expecting a big national population boom, as I have been loving lately.
What was his name?
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Aug 24, 2016 18:38
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- Ace of Baes
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Almost had an international incident today after foreign aggressors invaded my sovereignty to deliver the microwave oven I ordered off Amazon.
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Aug 24, 2016 18:43
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- FluffieDuckie
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Almost had an international incident today after foreign aggressors invaded my sovereignty to deliver the microwave oven I ordered off Amazon.
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Aug 24, 2016 18:44
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- FutonForensic
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We're very pleased to announce that, after letting one Syrian refugee stay at Dave's Airbnb, we have a higher ratio of refugees to citizen population than any other country in Europe
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Aug 24, 2016 18:50
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- nvm no cake
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I've been appointed as director of homeland security because my dad installed a security camera at the front door and he doesn't know how to use it.
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Aug 24, 2016 19:05
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- google THIS
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it seems that those capitalist pigs have resorted to airdropping propaganda on our soil. mom snuck a job application down the laundry chute the other day.
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Aug 24, 2016 19:12
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- FactsAreUseless
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Declared a national bird today, but then it flew off.
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Aug 24, 2016 19:26
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- AAB
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had to throw out my neighbor for trying chemical warfare. should have known he was up to something after Taco Night
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Aug 24, 2016 19:30
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- FluffieDuckie
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Declared a national bird today, but then it flew off.
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Aug 24, 2016 19:41
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- HighwireAct
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Pozzo's Hat
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Declared a national bird today, but then it flew off.
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Aug 24, 2016 19:42
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Mar 19, 2024 13:08
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- Beefeater
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I'm hungry.
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I'm being investigated by the government for having a monopoly on the lemonade trade. Diane reported me after I raised prices by 5 cents per cup.
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Aug 24, 2016 19:54
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