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Op you missed Blind Date in your list of promos. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT9xRIh8ZmI The only way that one can be the 'true' promo is if season 6 is set in a studio that makes cheesy horror movies. Or a theater that plays cheesy horror movies. In which case all of the promos could be true.
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Aug 28, 2016 23:36
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Tenzarin posted:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Benders I heard that it was a rumor they might do the bloody benders. Bendyman.
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Aug 29, 2016 04:59
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Geeze, how many did they make? Maybe that's the secret, there is no season wide plot, just short 'moments' with no connection to anything. Plot has never been AHS strong point. Sept 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-d-vA1Ljgo Sept 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eMNej0-WL0
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Sep 4, 2016 14:07
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NEW PROMO!!! SO EXCITE!!!!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k43qs9yz_Rc I dunno, I think sticking a vertebrate mouth on a spider actually makes it less creepy than the spider's natural mouthparts. It's like musk deer. "Saber toothed deer" sounds like it could be scary, but in practice it's just goofy looking. 
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Sep 7, 2016 19:19
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lol Another new promo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJQAPLWPFx8
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Sep 8, 2016 20:41
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Final promo? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7urn72Ifpc
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Sep 12, 2016 19:13
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El Tortuga posted:If I don't get at least one God damned wendigo this season I will lose my mind! Would you settle for wendipig? 
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Sep 16, 2016 05:03
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CODChimera posted:I thought it was alright but wasn't really a fan of the doco angle. Hope is the real monster.
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Sep 16, 2016 08:12
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Is everything in the flashback clips reenactment? I've watched lots of lovely reenactments and none of them ever had the reenactors get naked and ride cowgirl style. Having 2 sets of actors playing the characters was confusing. The talking head segments seemed a bit more artificial than the flashback scenes. For a few minutes I was wondering if A*S just has too many actors associated with it these days, so the only way to make a coherent story with a reasonable number of characters is to assign 2 actors per character. 
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Sep 17, 2016 04:32
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Sierra Nevadan posted:The talking head interviews seemed really wooden and without emotion. I know Lily Rabe is a good actress, but she didn't seem authentic to me. Exactly. I wonder if it is bad acting or if they are setting it up for a shocking twist later where we find out the talking heads are the reinactors. In which case the scenes in the world might not be reenactments being shown as part of the documentary, but instead flashbacks to what actually happened and not part of the documentary at all. But bad acting and/or bad writing is still a possibility. Lily Rabe gets a lot of work, so it's possible her scenes are a little wooden because she shot the whole season in one 12 hour session in the recording studio or something.
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Sep 17, 2016 04:48
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Gatekeeper posted:Decided to give Hotel a shot after enjoying the season premiere, jfc this is awful. What an ugly mess. I honestly think this is worse than Coven and Freakshow. Aside from Peters doing H H Holmes and the ridiculous Devil's Night episode, it's just a boring ugly slog. It's so hard to find any of this interesting. I've got three episodes left and I really am struggling to decide whether or not to even finish the season. The subplot with the detective is the worst, but Gaga is like Ambien for the eyes too. I'm really shocked, because everyone kept raving about how beautiful and talented and brilliant etc she was in this season, I just don't get it. And how did this show manage to make Sarah Paulson and Kathy Bates boring? Angela Bassett was criminally underused too. Gaga was great, compared to the total trainwreck most people expected. Pop stars doing celebrity appearances on TV shows has a long and storied history of being completely awful. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHBF2i8zKCM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47puweMw9Wk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_3qH1DsDu8 Compared to the mess it could have been, Gaga's performance was completely unremarkable. A perfectly adequate actor who didn't distort the show with her presence.
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Sep 18, 2016 08:04
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Tired Moritz posted:got any man rear end? I never watched hotel. Hell yeah there's man rear end.
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Sep 18, 2016 08:25
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mind the walrus posted:
Hotel butts:  http://www.out.com/television/2015/10/08/13-times-ahs-hotel-just-really-didnt-give-f-nsfw General butts: http://www.mtv.com/news/2023608/american-horror-story-butts/ Often the man butts are accompanied by lady butts, which probably distracted you.
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Sep 19, 2016 01:23
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nutranurse posted:It's a kick rear end season, albeit it lacks a sensible plot. Though at this point anyone expecting a sensible plot is just fooling themselves.
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Sep 19, 2016 02:17
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First 10 minutes of Scream Queens season 1 episode 1 is super annoying. Maybe that's why people didn't give it a chance. Three episodes in and it has yet to be funny or scary. It's not a horror-comedy, it's a juvenile spoof. Uh, is this one of those shows you need to be a teenager or on drugs (or a teenager on drugs) to enjoy?
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Sep 21, 2016 11:20
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Mezzanon posted:I thought that Scream Queens was cool and good, and I'm old and generally sober. Huh. Maybe the overwhelming sadness of GBS getting Old Yeller'd ruined my sense of humor last night.
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Sep 21, 2016 20:35
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violetdragon posted:What is it with AHS putting bloody, hollowed out animal heads on living people? Probably somebody's fetish.
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Sep 22, 2016 09:19
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The Saddest Rhino posted:i'm glad for the murdernurses because it means the stupid camp horror tradition of AHS continues Not just murder nurses. Incestuious lesbian murder nurses.
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Sep 22, 2016 10:10
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timp posted:I'm going to need a LOT less of Shelby, Matt, and Lee and a LOT more of whatever the gently caress's going on in the woods to stay invested in this ish Are we sure that there are ghosts? The premise of legend of the Roanoke Colony is that they just mysteriously vanished one day. Things flickering in and out of modern day reality could be ghosts, or there could be some time travel or alternate dimension shenanigans. Even the nurses aren't known to have died, just disappeared, so they could also be caught in the shifting. So far no one has tried to touch the 'ghosts' so we don't know if they are solid or ethereal.
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Sep 23, 2016 05:01
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hxcorpse posted:A 3 bedroom murde house that still was somehow large enough to be used as a retirement facility? I can buy redneck pig-cult ghosts but not that It was a really lovely nursing home. The bedrooms are big enough for 2 or 3 beds each. You don't expect a private room in a cheap nursing home. Old fashioned hospitals often had open wards with 6 or 8 beds in a room. Plus there are lots of spaces in that house that don't have privacy doors and closets, so can't be called 'bedrooms' in modern real estate listings, but that certainly could have held a couple beds. The room we see Margaret get murdered in didn't seem to be a bedroom. The large open space at the top of the stairs by the big windows could easily hold a couple beds, if you didn't care about privacy.
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Sep 23, 2016 05:11
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Blazing Ownager posted:1) "Every cent is tied up in this house." gently caress, I'd crash on some couches before stay there any longer. Yeah, this is particularly bad in this scenario. They paid $40k, which was almost their entire savings. That wasn't the down payment, it was the whole price. If they walk away it's a big loss, but it's not crippling, they won't have to declare bankruptcy or ruin their credit. They can probably get $10-15k right away just selling to those rednecks. They'd still be taking a loss, but it would be enough to help them move and get started somewhere else. Maybe somewhere closer to a city where a yoga instructor would have a chance of getting a job too. If she gets a job it would take them less than 5 years to get back to the point where they are right now financially. Advertising your probably haunted murde house with spooky history in the right places could find a buyer willing to pay at least $40k for it. That's ridiculously cheap for a house of that size in good condition, and possible haunting would be a plus for some buyers. Trapped by finances just doesn't make sense in this case.
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Sep 25, 2016 03:17
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Honestly she should just advertise her haunted house as a yoga centre where people can get more connected to the spirits. Even better, nurse spirits! How holistic is that? Oh man, can you imagine? On 10 acres of old growth spooky haunted woods! That would be an amazing wellness center yoga retreat. It would make those ghosts sorry they ever bothered the nice quiet couple or the nice quiet nutty professor.
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Sep 25, 2016 04:02
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CynCyanide posted:Did you know there are officially licensed Halloween costumes for AHS? I don't remember what "Bloody Face Mask" is supposed to be. Something from Asylum?. Bloody Face Mask belonged to the serial killer/psychiatrist. He made it out of bits of his victims. He also had a lampshade made of human skin and a bowl made from the top of a skull. Dude did a lot of arts and crafts.  In the modern portion where that couple is visiting the long-abandoned asylum and get tormented by pranksters, and the pranksters themselves are then killed by Son of Bloodyface, they were wearing fake Bloodyface masks too? Just like the ones now for sale. Spooky.
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Sep 26, 2016 21:00
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Calico Heart posted:Hey y'all TV reviews are unreliable as hell I find so I thought I'd ask here. I loved Hotel bbut thought Freakshow was the worst bullshit yet. How's this season shaping up? Should I hop aboard? It's only 2 episodes in, but so far I like it better than freakshow. As others mentioned they have messed with the format a bit this time, not sure if that is going to turn out cool or annoying in the long run. So far it doesn't have the very stylized visuals of Hotel or Coven. The people look like people you might see in your town. The house is a bit grand for a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, but not obnoxiously so. It is doing better at "spooky horror stuff" than usual. It really does seem more like a horror story than a "look at beautiful people swan around" story, which is an interesting change.
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Sep 28, 2016 20:52
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Hostile V posted:Well gently caress I guess they...technically didn't. RIP Yeah, Mason was fine. His kid vanished. Not just wandered off either, by that point it was clear she'd been taken by someone. It would be weird if he didn't break down at some point and accuse recovering addict ex-wife who has been behaving erratically lately. He went right to the edge of violence, but then he caught himself and backed off. Mason was as chill as could be expected.
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Sep 29, 2016 06:51
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Hostile V posted:Also oh my god the shot composition of that sex scene was just so stupid and laughable. Though I won't lie, I'm down for Pagan Goddess Gaga. I am disturbed by Pagan Goddess Gaga. Since the ghosts are ghosts, I assume she must be the mother of those kids we saw earlier? Maybe the mother of all the strange hillbillies?
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Sep 29, 2016 07:11
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angerbeet posted:How is this season? I haven't watched any of it yet but generally liked the previous seasons - just the lack of hype this time around sort of made me forget about it. If I liked Hotel and hated Coven, whereabouts are we on the old AHS o meter? It's good. Actually good, even, not just good for AHS. The framing is as one of those haunted house documentaries which is a bit distracting at first, but not bad. Worth watching.
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Sep 29, 2016 23:37
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Mason got roasted, but he could still come back in ghost form. 
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Oct 2, 2016 20:13
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Hey maybe the thread title should be changed now that we know the theme? And that it doesn't suck? The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The TV IV > American Horror Story: Roanoke (it doesn't suck) Though that would need to be changed again if it starts sucking.
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Oct 3, 2016 23:23
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Hostile V posted:Them inviting the Uber driver on for literally just one minute of filler on a reality TV show is the stupid thing I love the most about this season so far. There was absolutely no reason to do that because so far all of the talking heads have directly narrated the story. And he's a pretty brunette. I bet he has a nice butt.
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Oct 6, 2016 08:44
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SalTheBard posted:After the chaos that was Hotel this is so refreshing to have a small cast with one story going on. Welp, now you've jinxed it.
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Oct 7, 2016 03:12
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a new study bible! posted:the framing device for this season robs most scenes of any possible suspense Naw. It's possible that the 'flashbacks' are reality, and the talking heads are actually the actors.
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Oct 9, 2016 05:42
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In Hotel and Murder House ghosts could leave their haunts on halloween. They can kill on the ground they are bound to on any day. But not all ghosts. #notallghosts Most ghosts can't do poo poo. Maybe the odd spooky whisper or nudging your keys off the dresser, but that's it. The psychic noted that both Murder House and Hotel were especially evil/strong. A site can "power up" through pain and death. March powered up Hotel through serial killing and torture, the first owner of Murder House meant well but accidentally empowered it through unlicensed back alley abortions. Empowering the site lets the resident ghosts appear indistinguishable from the living. Pretty simple, really. Roanoke is something different though. They aren't just ghosts, there is an element of ritualistic magic and old gods that wasn't there with the other sites. All of the ghosts (except perhaps Priscilla) are enslaved to Kathy Bates. Halloween isn't important to them. Maybe they can leave on halloween, maybe they can't. They don't want to leave so it doesn't matter. Instead there is a 6 day period between the blood moon and the whatever moon each year. This is lunar, so the 6 days would fall on different dates each year. She ritualistically killed the other colonists during this period to claim the land and enslave their souls. If the ghosts kill you during this 6 day period, you are enslaved to Kathy Bates forever.  So the ghosts are strong enough to kill at any time, but only during the 6 days does she get the ritualistic bonus.The intentional blood magic seems to be what let them claim a relatively huge amount of territory. Not just the site of the site of the village itself, but all the farmland (now forest) as well. Priscilla was ritualistically sacrificed in a ceremony to sanctify the land. This was before the promise that all those killed would be enslaved, so she may be bound to the land but not enslaved. She appears able to act contrary to the matriarch's will. But she can't actually stop the others from doing whatever they want. Random people killed outside the 6 day period are a wild card. They may just move on, or they may become 'normal' ghosts. They don't become enslaved and don't sanctify the land, so the colonists prefer to wait until the 6 days when possible. Facebook Aunt fucked around with this message at 21:41 on Oct 10, 2016 |
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Oct 10, 2016 02:27
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timp posted:Well poo poo, that actually DOES make some sense It's probably bullshit. I grew up with a lot of religious cognitive dissonance, so making a bunch of contradictory nonsense all true and sensible at the same time is kind of a specialty of mine.
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Oct 10, 2016 06:40
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Dear Prudence posted:Who is Clementine? Do you mean Priscilla? Am I missing someone? drat it. Yeah, the little girl ghost. I'm bad with names. 
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Oct 10, 2016 21:36
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chitoryu12 posted:Hotel swings wildly from intentionally hilarious to unintentionally hilarious. It still has horrific imagery, but it gets paired with ridiculous and bizarre scenes that you can't help but laugh at. Like the Addiction Demon has a pretty scary appearance and is really intimidating when it first appears....then it starts raping a guy to death with a drilldo. It's even worse because the shot as Sally walks in lingers on the Demon pounding away like it ain't no thang, as if she's awkwardly walking past a drunk couple banging at a house party, and when the Demon disappears the camera ends up staring at his bare, violated rear end. And then later that guy is one of the guys Sally has sewn up in a mattress. So is he a ghost? Or did he survive the drilldo? What is going on?
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Oct 13, 2016 01:07
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Whew. After the historian said it would be handy to be able to talk to ghosts, for a bit I thought they would all die and then be interviewed as ghosts. "You may be a TV host .... but I'm a ghost!"
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Oct 13, 2016 06:47
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Are the cops in on it, or is that guy just a coward? If they aren't in on it those are the most useless cops ever. Useless cops are a staple of horror, but these guys are terrible. The cannibal hillbillies indicated that the colonists need to kill someone every year, which should mean far more disappearances than professor exposition found. If this has been going on for hundreds of years, the nearby townsfolk must have some inkling that something is going on. Maybe some of the non-crazy Polk kinfolk even live in the town, joined the police force. All the better to funnel a couple outsiders to the colonists each year. I like that the Korean family became creepy asian horror style ghosts though. Nice touch.
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Oct 13, 2016 07:01
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What if it's all a fake?  Interracial couple buys a ramshackle old house in the woods, gets harassed by local racist hillbillies. The wife hates it. She's a city girl and has misgivings even before the hillbillies start their poo poo. A salesman, an unemployed yoga instructor, a disgraced former cop/druggie and her kid arrive in LA basically penniless. Their only asset is the nearly worthless house in the woods. $40k doesn't buy a good house even in rural areas, so its not a good house. If they try to sell to locals they'll be lucky to get back half what they paid, and if they don't sell they are on the hook for property taxes every year. But a famous haunted house, that would be worth something to the right buyer. Pitch the story to a ghost hunting show and they'll pay thousands just to use the site for their dumb show, and then the fame may be enough to get some idiot to buy the house.
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Oct 13, 2016 07:43
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OmegaBR posted:
The house is hundreds of years old, there haven't really been that many murders/disappearances.
Up until the LA couple show up it's a house with a checkered past, but not an obviously cursed property. There's definately enough there to spin up a convincing story of a haunting (even without the lost colony angle) but it could also be a normal house that has had a couple tragedies. All the bad stuff that the cops have on file that happened after they bought the house could be explained by racist hillbillies angry that an inter-racial couple outbid them on the house. Including the kid's disappearance and Mason's death (though those could also have been the drug-addled ex-cop). Though honestly if they wanted to get out from under the house, making up a ghost story wouldn't be the easiest way. Just insure the thing and then burn it down. Old wood burns well, and the house is far enough from town that it takes forever for emergency services to get out there. Totally plausible that the thing could burn to the ground while they are out shopping or something.
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Oct 13, 2016 09:52
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