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Congrats to Aredna for winning season 3! We begin as we must always begin, with the official Calvinball theme song. (Feel free to join in harmonizing on the rum tum tums)  OFFICIAL CALVINBALL FF SONG Other leagues' games are all such a bore! They've gotta have rules and they gotta keep score! Calvinball is better by far! It's never the same! It's always bizarre! You don't need a GM or a referee! You know that it's great, 'cause it's named after me! THE UNCHANGING RULES OF THE CALVINBALL LEAGUE 1. All players must wear a mask. .......a. No one may question the masks. 2. Every week each player may change one scoring rule, provided that rule has not: .......a. Already been changed by someone else that week. .......b. The rule has not already been played in the same way this season. (Not strictly enforced, but if someone notices and mentions that a player keeps "resetting" a favorite rule every other week, actions will be considered. Change it up, keep it fun. .......c. No rule can overturn or change the week's Calvinball rule. 3. All rules should be declared in this thread using the following format: NEW RULE! NEW RULE! Week 2: Completions are now worth -3 points!!! 4. All rules must apply to the entire league, no singling people or a team's specific players out. 5. Enforcement of the rules is everyone's responsibility. If something is amiss, mention it in the thread. Be honest, the game is only fun if everyone participates. 6. Mom says no: All rules must be implementable on ESPN, anything that can't be implemented due to software limitations will be declared void due to parental oversight. Seriously, you'll put your eye out and it's been well established that Anubis can't do math. 7. For the sake of the GM's sanity, rules should be declared 8. Everyone must play all of their (valid) starters. ESPN doesn't allow league rosters to change week to week so there will be may be spots left open if those have been turned off by a rule change. Also, all of your rostered players must see the field, so using backup quarterbacks (unless that is literally all that is available and valid) is potentially unacceptable. If a player gets struck by lightning pregame and doesn't see a snap but there was no way for you to know, we will deal with it on the fly as best we can. THE CALVINBALL The team with the worst score the week prior is declared to have the Calvinball. If you posses the Calvinball during the rules declaration period you can use it and send player(s) to jail for the week. Example: "Example posted: quote: I HAVE THE CALVINABALL! I HAVE THE CALVINBALL! Week 3: I hit "Chris" with the Calvinball. Anyone with the first name of Chris goes to jail and has to be benched this week! The above would require all players with the name "Chris" be benched for week 3. So, Chris Johnson and Chris Ivory are both sitting this week. Do not make these overly broad! This is about fun, not sending someone to the waiver wire to research backup punters. You may also use the Calvinball to make an extra rule adjustment about the roster, be sure to declare that it's your Calvinball rule since Calvinball rules do not carry over to the following week. As with last season, I'll create the league with huge rosters and benches. We are starting the season with your basic QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, TE, FLEX(no qb), K, DEF setup until rules start changing it. As always I'm looking for help GMing this chaotic mess. If I don't get some more volunteers I'm making everyone GM and we're going to play by the honor system. Anubis fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Sep 3, 2016 |
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Sep 3, 2016 15:04
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FAQ Q: What the hell is this? A: The fantasy football equivalent of a game the 80s-90s comic strip characters Calvin and Hobbes would play. Calvin was a free spirit, hating the claustrophobic rules of normal organized sports and competitions. This lead him and Hobbes (his stuffed tiger) to create their own game with rules they made up as they went. In a lot of ways, Calvinball has always been played by children the world over. Q: So, you just change the rules each week? A: Yes, everyone gets 1 rule change a week that they can use however they want. If they want to make it a 2QB league or they want to suddenly make rushing yards -70 per yard, perfectly acceptable. Rules carry over until someone else changes them in a following week. There's also a special rule every week called the "Calvinball rule" that you can read about in the rules above. Q: Do you do a normal draft? A: Our drafts are glorious. Seriously, there is no overstating the wonder of seeing a sudden round 6 run on defenses. Q: Can I join? A: If you weren't in it last year post and put your name on the waiting list, it's very likely we will have openings. Last years players: Aredna - Confirmed returning Marshmallow Blue - Confirmed returning Fenrir - Confirmed returning Baldrash - Confirmed returning Anubis - Confirmed returning JPrime - Confirmed returning OxySnake - Confirmed returning Wait List (If you posted to be on the wait list in the S3 thread and I missed you, link to your post and I'll slot you in where you belong) Teeter Teemu Pokemon Nephzinho Ches Neckbeard McStabby MISS WORMWOOD Endzone HO!..............................5-1 The Babysat..............................4-2 The End Zone is Lava.....................4-2 A Nauseous Nocturne......................3-3 The Grude Abides.........................2-4 MAKING FANTASY GREAT AGAIN...............0-6 ROSALYN Get Rid of Stupid KickerS................6-0 The Noodle Incidents.....................3-3 All QBs are Just Sacked .................3-3 The Revenge of Goodelled.................3-3 Y as IN Y do We Care - ..................2-4 Hill and Bernard.........................1-5 Anubis fucked around with this message at 13:16 on Oct 25, 2016 |
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Sep 3, 2016 15:04
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We're going to have to go for either Monday or Tuesday for a draft day, if either of those don't work for you speak up and we'll do our best to make sure people don't auto.
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Sep 3, 2016 15:17
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Either is fine with me, although I'd prefer Monday since I still don't actually know what hours I'll be working Tuesday. If all else fails the auto drafter will surely pick me winners, right? Riiiiiight?  e: This year I shall have my revenge, Aredna! (for the new guys, he beat me in last year's finals with a punter due to a rule I made, haha) e2: Also Anubis if you need help with the GM situation go ahead and enable me, I will try to keep up as well as I can, and if I know I will miss a day or whatever, I'll do my best to let you know ahead of time. Fenrir fucked around with this message at 15:43 on Sep 3, 2016 |
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Sep 3, 2016 15:37
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Sep 3, 2016 17:41
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I'll also help GM Probably will have to auto draft regardless, but I'll set calvinball appropriate rankings ahead of time.
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Sep 3, 2016 21:12
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Monday works for me. I have another draft on Tues.
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Sep 4, 2016 01:30
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Thanks for getting me on the wait list. I just found this thread so I'll stick around in case anything opens up.
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Sep 4, 2016 02:02
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You can go ahead and take me out in exchange for someone on the wait list. I always fade out of this one towards the end, and I feel bad taking a spot from someone who might live up to the spirit of the league better.
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Sep 4, 2016 04:03
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It's been a great 3 seasons, this league is so much fun but i can't keep up with weekly rule and roster changes with new IRL responsibilities, i'll let someone else join the fun
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Sep 4, 2016 05:38
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Could I be added to the wait list?
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Sep 4, 2016 21:32
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Fight Club Sandwich posted:It's been a great 3 seasons, this league is so much fun but i can't keep up with weekly rule and roster changes with new IRL responsibilities, i'll let someone else join the fun Thanks again for all of your great help. Two of the wait list have been bolded, get me email addresses to send invites while we wait for word from the others.
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Sep 4, 2016 21:48
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 akickassduke@gmail.com
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Sep 4, 2016 22:06
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Count me in for another year. Now that I don't have a second job ruining my Sundays, I can re-dedicate myself to Lord Football. Both tomorrow and Tuesday work for me as far as drafts. Baldrash fucked around with this message at 23:38 on Sep 4, 2016 |
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Sep 4, 2016 23:36
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I'm in! Monday works for me.
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Sep 5, 2016 03:52
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If anyone knows how to get hold of gardenald or KalenSC please direct them to this thread asap. I'm pushing the draft back a couple extra hours (assuming we can fill in the gaps so ESPN will let me) in hopes that we can fill this up. If you're on the wait list, especially if you're name is now bolded, please post or PM you're email address for your invite.
Anubis fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Sep 5, 2016 |
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Sep 5, 2016 22:43
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I'm in, though depending on what time the draft is I will be on auto as I have game night tonight. Seeing as what this league is, though, I'm not sure how much autodraft will actually change from planning.
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Sep 5, 2016 22:58
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Anubis posted:If anyone knows how to get hold of gardenald or KalenSC please direct them to this thread asap. I'm pushing the draft back a couple extra hours (assuming we can fill in the gaps so ESPN will let me) in hopes that we can fill this up. If you're on the wait list, especially if you're name is now bolded, please post or PM you're email address for your invite. I had to fix a couple scoring things just so I wouldn't get error messages. Those are fixed now - all the crap I had to fix (punter and HC scoring) is set at 1 point just to make it stop giving me red flags. It's okay if you want to push the draft to tomorrow.
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Sep 6, 2016 00:09
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Fenrir posted:I had to fix a couple scoring things just so I wouldn't get error messages. Those are fixed now - all the crap I had to fix (punter and HC scoring) is set at 1 point just to make it stop giving me red flags. We may have to, we have to fill the league (ie: the invites I sent out have to be accepted) before they will let us draft. As it stands, let's plan on tomorrow.
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Sep 6, 2016 00:11
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Push it quick, because the draft as it now is set to start in 37 minutes.
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Sep 6, 2016 00:23
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Hey guys, I'm gonna bow out this season, got too many leagues atm, I'll be following along though!
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Sep 6, 2016 00:23
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Talk about last minute world changes. But eh, it's calvinball  It's just an early taste of the insanity to come.
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Sep 6, 2016 00:53
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Fenrir posted:Push it quick, because the draft as it now is set to start in 37 minutes. ESPN is being a pain in the dick tonight. It's getting DDoSed or something because it's login is broken. Either way, if it does somehow record a draft tonight we will redo it tomorrow once we have everyone more or less situated. I guess if you want to mock draft, espn is going to run one in about 15 minutes for us... because Calvinball isn't bad enough, you feel the need to mock draft on top of it! Anubis fucked around with this message at 01:15 on Sep 6, 2016 |
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Sep 6, 2016 01:10
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Best mock draft ever - I got healers, fast birds, and DIX-ON. Also got the NE and NO QBs! Updated my team name because it's obvious and cheesy this year, but this league truly is MAKING FANTASY GREAT AGAIN
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Sep 6, 2016 01:50
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Oh, just checked my PMs, whoops! Have a fun season all!
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Sep 6, 2016 03:50
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Looks like the draft is now set for tomorrow at 8:15 PM EST... right in the middle of Smackdown  but I can handle that.(really guys, even if you auto draft, it doesn't matter that much aside from missing some funny poo poo. guess who took Aaron Rodgers in round 1 and benched him for most of the season last year. yup, this guy! You're going to change players constantly. Yay calvinball )
Fenrir fucked around with this message at 07:27 on Sep 6, 2016 |
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Sep 6, 2016 07:25
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I did ESPN default autodraft last year and won the league. Two years ago I took over a team that had an abandoned owner and just barely missed playoffs due to some crazy tiebreaking rules. Have fun with the rules each week and set up rules to help you out! This league is much more and week to week management and having fun with the rules than it is about drafting well.
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Sep 6, 2016 07:47
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With Kalensc bowing out McStabby is up, if any of the LMs can get his email put in today we'll be all set to go for tonight and another crazy season of calvinball will come again! And I even promise not to mess with the draft timer like I did in the mock.
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Sep 6, 2016 11:37
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Are you going to remove all my players again?! I had 3 medics!
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Sep 6, 2016 11:44
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You can't win calvinball without waive ring 4 guys a week
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Sep 6, 2016 12:30
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Anubis posted:With Kalensc bowing out McStabby is up, if any of the LMs can get his email put in today we'll be all set to go for tonight and another crazy season of calvinball will come again! Hopefully I won't be late, but my email is redacted McStabby fucked around with this message at 19:01 on Sep 6, 2016 |
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Sep 6, 2016 17:45
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NEW RULE! NEW RULE! Dyslexic Math Week 1: Passing yards are now worth 20 points a yard.
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Sep 7, 2016 01:52
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NEW RULE! NEW RULE! Fat Guy Touchdown Week 1: Any fumble or interception returned for a touchdown is worth 500 points.
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Sep 7, 2016 01:57
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NEW RULE! NEW RULE! It's the thought that counts Week 1: Receiving targets are worth 5 points
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Sep 7, 2016 02:00
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NEW RULE! NEW RULE! No blitz! Week 1: Each Sack is worth -100 points.
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Sep 7, 2016 03:03
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God loving drat it. I'm sorry guys.. I got laid off from my job this afternoon. I missed the draft and I don't even know what players I have right now. I know this is terrible timing but I might disappear. If that happens, throw some bullshit and dirt on my team and rub it in good. I'm gonna try to get ready for this week at least but I'm kinda exhausted after today, so I'll get on that tomorrow... when I get home from the god damned unemployment office 
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Sep 7, 2016 03:39
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Fenrir posted:God loving drat it. I'm sorry guys.. I got laid off from my job this afternoon. I missed the draft and I don't even know what players I have right now. gently caress man sorry to hear that. What are the starting lineup rules again? Are they the default QB/2RB/2WR/1FLX/TE/DST/K?
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Sep 7, 2016 04:01
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OxySnake posted:gently caress man sorry to hear that. That's what they start at, yes. Fenrir posted:God loving drat it. I'm sorry guys.. I got laid off from my job this afternoon. I missed the draft and I don't even know what players I have right now. Uck, that sucks man. Don't worry too much, you'll get through it and so will we.
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Sep 7, 2016 04:22
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Fenrir posted:God loving drat it. I'm sorry guys.. I got laid off from my job this afternoon. I missed the draft and I don't even know what players I have right now. This blows real bad. Sorry, Don't worry though! --- NEW RULE NEW RULE! You Broke the Game! Shut it off, take it out, blow on it, put it back in and reset. 40+ Yard Receiving TDs are worth 250 points
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Sep 7, 2016 15:13
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NEW RULE! NEW RULE! Play Nice With Your Little Brother Week 1: +500 points for a 1-4pt win margin by head coach, -1000 points for any larger win. HC position, +500 WM1, -1000 WM5, WM10, WM15, WM20, WM25
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Sep 7, 2016 16:41
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