Calvinball Season 4: Like a wagon off a cliff

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Armchair Quarterback > Calvinball Season 4: Like a wagon off a cliff

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Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

Teeter posted:

NEW RULE! NEW RULE!
Play Nice With Your Little Brother

Week 1: +500 points for a 1-4pt win margin by head coach, -1000 points for any larger win.

HC position, +500 WM1, -1000 WM5, WM10, WM15, WM20, WM25

Reminder for the noobs, The HC slot is still not activated, but this scoring rule is added. If anyone starts a HC without someone opening the HC slot, you'll face extended bath time.

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:57

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 08:34

JPrime: Jul 4, 2007; tales of derring-do, bad ~~and good~~ luck tales!; College Slice

NEW RULE, NEW RULE!
i swear to lucifer you kids better calm down

Kids need supervision. Open up and start a HC!

# ? Sep 7, 2016 18:15

Teeter: Jul 21, 2005; Hey guys! I'm having a good time, what about you?

Good catch, I missed the QB/2RB/2WR/1FLX/TE/DST/K note to start us off. Thanks for straightening that out. My roster is all good to go now!

# ? Sep 7, 2016 20:51

McStabby: Jun 26, 2007; LANA!!! CRUUUUUSH!

Thanks for pointing that out. So now that someone has added in the HC slot, this means that we have to start a HC until a rule change, right?

# ? Sep 7, 2016 21:45

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

McStabby posted:

Thanks for pointing that out. So now that someone has added in the HC slot, this means that we have to start a HC until a rule change, right?

Correct, you'll start a HC no going forward.

To Clarify: The HC Slot (and any slot opened up), remains open until someone closes it as their rule. The same goes for scoring, Scoring remains unchanged if no one overwrites the rule from last week. Also once a rule is changed it can't be changed again that same week. So If I set PPR to 100, you can't change PPR that week (but can next week).

Is that calvinbally enough of an explanation?

# ? Sep 7, 2016 21:58

Baldrash: Oct 26, 2005

NEW RULE! NEW RULE!

I'm in charge! No, I am!

Open up a second QB slot!

# ? Sep 8, 2016 01:28

Aredna: Mar 17, 2007; Nap Ghost

NEW RULE, NEW RULE!
WBest Coast Offense

Receiving Yards are 10.
Rushing Yards are -10.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 01:38

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

**RULES CLOSED**

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:04

Nephzinho: Jan 25, 2008

So, to be clear, as RBs are now negative points, do I have to play my "best" player or can I simply play anyone as long as they actually play?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:12

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

Nephzinho posted:

So, to be clear, as RBs are now negative points, do I have to play my "best" player or can I simply play anyone as long as they actually play?

Anyone, but they must play 1 snap.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:14

Anubis: Oct 9, 2003; It's hard to keep sand out of ears this big.; Fun Shoe

Marshmallow Blue posted:

Anyone, but they must play 1 snap.

Welcome to the wonderful world of fullbacks being viable in fantasy football.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 05:55

McStabby: Jun 26, 2007; LANA!!! CRUUUUUSH!

A few of you have too many people set to play so you might want to check that soon. If I'm not mistaken, we're supposed to play 2QB/2RB/2WR/TE/FLEX/DST/K/HC.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 11:49

Nephzinho: Jan 25, 2008

So who has the Calvinball? Goodelled has the legit lowest score while Making Fantasy Great Again would've had a higher score if they had played both their QBs (but still would have lost).

# ? Sep 13, 2016 14:03

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

Nephzinho posted:

So who has the Calvinball? Goodelled has the legit lowest score while Making Fantasy Great Again would've had a higher score if they had played both their QBs (but still would have lost).

I'd say lowest score with a qualifying roster

# ? Sep 13, 2016 14:12

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

I'm Telling

Y as in Y Do I Care CHEATED AT CALVINBALL, by filling all his roster spots.

# ? Sep 13, 2016 14:15

McStabby: Jun 26, 2007; LANA!!! CRUUUUUSH!

Nephzinho posted:

So who has the Calvinball? Goodelled has the legit lowest score while Making Fantasy Great Again would've had a higher score if they had played both their QBs (but still would have lost).

A few teams had too many people, so I will wait to throw the Calvinball until Anubis decides their fates.

# ? Sep 13, 2016 14:30

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

SCORES

code:

_____Winners Division_____
All QBs are Just Sacked - Didn't Cheat*..1-0
Endzone HO!..............................1-0
The Noodle Incidents.....................1-0
A Nauseous Nocturne......................1-0
Get Rid of Stupid KickerS................1-0
The End Zone is Lava.....................1-0

_____Purgatory Division_____
...

_____Losers Division_____
The Grude Abides.........................0-1
Y as IN Y do We Care - CHEATED*..........0-1
MAKING FANTASY GREAT AGAIN...............0-1
The Revenge of Goodelled.................0-1
The Babysat..............................0-1
Hill and Bernard IRL.....................0-1

*Y as in Why do We Care Cheated and should be stripped of his win. If anyone disagrees with this notion say I. If the I's have it, it may set precedent over the rest of the league. A scary thought.

Marshmallow Blue fucked around with this message at 14:43 on Sep 13, 2016

# ? Sep 13, 2016 14:34

Nephzinho: Jan 25, 2008

Marshmallow Blue posted:

SCORES

code:

_____Winners Division_____
All QBs are Just Sacked - Didn't Cheat*..1-0
Endzone HO!..............................1-0
The Noodle Incidents.....................1-0
A Nauseous Nocturne......................1-0
Get Rid of Stupid KickerS................1-0
The End Zone is Lava.....................1-0

_____Purgatory Division_____
...

_____Losers Division_____
The Grude Abides.........................0-1
Y as IN Y do We Care - CHEATED*..........0-1
MAKING FANTASY GREAT AGAIN...............0-1
The Revenge of Goodelled.................0-1
The Babysat..............................0-1
Hill and Bernard IRL.....................0-1

If didn't play a full roster, would've lost by about 2,000 points. Pretty clear adjustment.

# ? Sep 13, 2016 14:57

Aredna: Mar 17, 2007; Nap Ghost

I obviously shouldn't get the calvinball for failing to realize we were starting 2 qbs this week. Never goes to anyone that fails to set a proper lineup imo

# ? Sep 13, 2016 15:28

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

New Rule! New Rule!
Garropolypse Now

In honor of Jimmy G's 3 yard completion to himself:

RECEIVING TARGETS
RECEPTIONS
and QB COMPLETIONS

are worth 100 points each.

# ? Sep 13, 2016 15:51

Anubis: Oct 9, 2003; It's hard to keep sand out of ears this big.; Fun Shoe

Aredna posted:

I obviously shouldn't get the calvinball for failing to realize we were starting 2 qbs this week. Never goes to anyone that fails to set a proper lineup imo

Yeah that's been the typical ruling unless it was for something silly like punters when there's no punting rules or similar. Calvinball goes to The Revenge of the Goodelled.

# ? Sep 13, 2016 16:38

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

New Rule! New Rule!
The best offense is a bad defense

REVERSE DEFENSE SCORING!!!

All of the defense scoring will have negatives changed to positives and positives changed to negatives, except for the -100 for sacks which is already negative. This includes the 500 points for defensive TDs which will now be -500

# ? Sep 13, 2016 17:39

McStabby: Jun 26, 2007; LANA!!! CRUUUUUSH!

I HAVE THE CALVINABALL! I HAVE THE CALVINBALL!
Ahm Awful at Alliteration

You may not start a player whose first and last name begin with the same letter.

New Rule! New Rule!
Laces out, Dan

All kicking scores have Ray Finkle's number (5) added to the end.
Each PAT Made (PAT) 15, Total FG Missed (FGM) -15, FG Made (0-39 yards) (FG0) 35, FG Made (40-49 yards) (FG40) 45, FG Made (50+ yards) (FG50) 55

# ? Sep 13, 2016 17:53

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

New Rule! New Rule!
Hold my clipboard, son

Deactivate a QB slot.

# ? Sep 13, 2016 18:00

JPrime: Jul 4, 2007; tales of derring-do, bad ~~and good~~ luck tales!; College Slice

New Rule! New Rule!
it's a tight fit

TEs are the best. Activate another one!

# ? Sep 13, 2016 18:19

Nephzinho: Jan 25, 2008

New Rule! New Rule!
Don't get the ball stuck in the tree

Every 1 Punting Yard is worth 10 points.

# ? Sep 13, 2016 18:26

Teeter: Jul 21, 2005; Hey guys! I'm having a good time, what about you?

Nephzinho posted:

New Rule! New Rule!
Don't get the ball stuck in the tree

Every 1 Punting Yard is worth 10 points.

New Rule! New Rule!
It's called FOOTball

Activate a Punter spot on roster.

# ? Sep 13, 2016 19:09

Baldrash: Oct 26, 2005

New Rule! New Rule!

Great shot kid, that was one in a million!

50+ yard FGs are now worth 1000 points!

# ? Sep 14, 2016 03:39

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

I love you fuckers that added punters and punt yards <3

To me it's one of the things that makes Calvinball awesome but I wanted to wait a few weeks and see if someone else would do it.

# ? Sep 14, 2016 04:51

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

Teemu Pokemon posted:

New Rule! New Rule!
The best offense is a bad defense

REVERSE DEFENSE SCORING!!!

All of the defense scoring will have negatives changed to positives and positives changed to negatives, except for the -100 for sacks which is already negative. This includes the 500 points for defensive TDs which will now be -500

Left Sacks at -100 as you expressed. If you wanted sacks to be +100, let me know

# ? Sep 14, 2016 14:27

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

Baldrash posted:

New Rule! New Rule!

Great shot kid, that was one in a million!

50+ yard FGs are now worth 1000 points!

Please try again, Kicking scores have already been changed by McSTabby

# ? Sep 14, 2016 14:30

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

Fenrir posted:

I love you fuckers that added punters and punt yards <3

To me it's one of the things that makes Calvinball awesome but I wanted to wait a few weeks and see if someone else would do it.

I hate it because I dropped the guy who is probably going to be the most used punter ever and someone waiver sniped me when I tried to get him back. He's going to score like 3000 points a game......

unless someone changes the punting scoring again next week :getin:

Marshmallow Blue posted:

Left Sacks at -100 as you expressed. If you wanted sacks to be +100, let me know

No that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to flip the scoring, but keep the other rules that were already made intact. Since sacks were already negative, I figured just leave them as is

E: doesn't look like you made any of the under 300 yards allowed negative though

Teemu Pokemon fucked around with this message at 19:49 on Sep 14, 2016

# ? Sep 14, 2016 19:44

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

Teemu Pokemon posted:

I hate it because I dropped the guy who is probably going to be the most used punter ever and someone waiver sniped me when I tried to get him back. He's going to score like 3000 points a game......

unless someone changes the punting scoring again next week

No that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to flip the scoring, but keep the other rules that were already made intact. Since sacks were already negative, I figured just leave them as is

Just FYI - You can overwrite any of last weeks scoring and roster rules. They are only locked for the week once a participant changes them.

# ? Sep 14, 2016 19:48

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

Yeah....maybe I'm planning on it!! :iiam:

# ? Sep 14, 2016 19:49

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

Is it too late to tweak my rule a bit, because I'm looking at the scoring and I think I can do a little better with it

# ? Sep 14, 2016 19:57

Marshmallow Blue: Apr 25, 2010

Teemu Pokemon posted:

Is it too late to tweak my rule a bit, because I'm looking at the scoring and I think I can do a little better with it

Teacher says your homework is already turned in, can't edit the answers.

Marshmallow Blue fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Sep 14, 2016

# ? Sep 14, 2016 19:59

Teemu Pokemon: Jun 19, 2004; To sign them is my real test

With full no movement clause

Fair enough, Wormwood, but you're just going to make me more plotting and disobedient!

fix the scoring for yards allowed though tia

# ? Sep 14, 2016 20:05

Baldrash: Oct 26, 2005

Marshmallow Blue posted:

Please try again, Kicking scores have already been changed by McSTabby

Derp. Let's try this again.

NEW RULE! NEW RULE!

The best sports are played in the backyard!

Deactivate the HC slot.

# ? Sep 14, 2016 21:32

Aredna: Mar 17, 2007; Nap Ghost

NEW RULE! NEW RULE!
I only want good punters!

Net Punts are -468

(This value was very specifically chosen such that the top 12 punters last week for avg punt distance give positive points and the rest give negative!)

# ? Sep 15, 2016 02:48

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 08:34

Anubis: Oct 9, 2003; It's hard to keep sand out of ears this big.; Fun Shoe

NEW RULE! NEW RULE!
I want a lot of punters!

Open up that 2nd punter slot and let's ride!

# ? Sep 15, 2016 04:44

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Armchair Quarterback > Calvinball Season 4: Like a wagon off a cliff

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