I wound up stuck in a swamp the other night.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I wound up stuck in a swamp the other night.

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PinkoBastard: Oct 3, 2010

MrCobaiiiiiiiiin posted:

I don't follow? I don't recall mentioning anything being printed? Elaborate. Any questions you have about the night, I'd be happy to fill in any missing details.

Did you forget writing your own thread?

mrCobaiiiiiiiiin posted:

A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this file and lo and behold I can't open it. It's made in Microsoft Publisher and I don't have that program so I begin panicing, trying to find this program or a way to print the file. Scouring the internet yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my room.

I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my printer about 2miles to her house, print out the needed pages, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal.

By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the +90 degree heat outside and carrying a heavy motherfucking HP Deskjet printer. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) are some panties on her bed.

After the initial shock of seeing such a horrific sight for the first time, I setup the printer and get my job done. However, I did consider sniffing the lingere when she left the room once, but with the wuss that I am, I just ended up staring at them the whole while. That was a sarcastic joke for those of you too stupid to realize that

To make a long story short, just as I was finishing up with the printing job (which was hefty), her boyfriend and his gay friend walk in, say hello, and begin hanging out in the room as they waited for the girl to finish this work so they could go to the mall.

This effectively ruins my chances of getting a hug and I walk another 2 miles home with the motherfucking printer in hand. The only thing that I got out of this were some very painful fingers and a "thanks" as I walked out her bedroom door.

So, am I pathetic for doing all these things? It wouldn't be the first time I've pledged my heart and soul to a girl and gotten back almost nothing in return. I would hate turning her or anyone else I knew down or making up some lie.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 00:41

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 22:46

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

PinkoBastard posted:

Did you forget writing your own thread?

holy poo poo

its...the chosen one

or the one not chosen

to breed

# ? Sep 8, 2016 00:48

PinkoBastard: Oct 3, 2010

seriously though, I love printer goon and that's one of the best posts ever

# ? Sep 8, 2016 00:56

null: Feb 19, 2003; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

notZaar posted:

Everybody gonna be stuck in the swamp this fall as the Florida Gators roll coal all over the sec

lol

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -8< cut thread here- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

# ? Sep 8, 2016 01:02

ContraBoss: Dec 6, 2005; Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.

Did you catch any toads man? Toads toad-ally rock!

# ? Sep 8, 2016 01:05

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

last time i was in a swamp i was sinking into some kind of swamp quicksand while desperately trying to rotate my sinking motorcycle 180 degrees and get it started up again to gtfo...stay the f out of swamp ppl

# ? Sep 8, 2016 01:29

personable decorum: Sep 7, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

Once upon a time on the French Riverian Bayou, I caught a glimpse of jaybird that ate the largest spiders and ever since then I've really liked putting large spiders in my mouth... and *chompin* on them. Swamp nutrition is real.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 01:35

Ork of Fiction: Jul 22, 2013

I lost my horse Artax in the swamp once.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 01:44

theres a will theres moe: Jan 10, 2007; Hair Elf

Mariana Horchata posted:

last time i was in a swamp i was sinking into some kind of swamp quicksand while desperately trying to rotate my sinking motorcycle 180 degrees and get it started up again to gtfo...stay the f out of swamp ppl

See op this is how you write a swamp story. Ms. Horchata gets right to the point, right to the heart of things from the get go. I'm ready to buy five more seasons of SWAMP BIKER immediately

# ? Sep 8, 2016 03:08