Kicker Eliminator 2016/17

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Kicker Eliminator 2016/17

«‹›8 »

Horse Inspector: Aug 11, 2005; privacy publicly displayed

Football Starts today there isn't yet one of these so I am going to give it a shot. I should warn you though, that I am so incompetent I will probably fall over, crack in half and die at my keyboard.

Here are the usual rules!

IcePhoenix posted:

With all the eliminators out there, I wanted to come up with something a little different. Something that can make even the biggest blowout meaningful. So I thought to myself, how about an eliminator that focuses on the most loved and hated guys in football? I've run Kicker Eliminator at another forum for the past few years and most people love it, so I thought I would bring it to all of you. So let's get started with the basics!

The Rules
1: Every week, you pick any kicker in the NFL. Once you pick that kicker, you cannot pick them for the rest of the season.
-1a: To clarify, a "kicker" for the purpose of this game counts as anyone who kicks the ball. You can choose to play a punter, a long FG specialist, or Wes Welker if you want to, but just remember rule 2 when doing so.

2: If that kicker makes every field goal and extra point attempt in their game, you advance. If they miss or do not attempt any field goals or extra points, you are eliminated

3: if every remaining player is eliminated in the same week, they will all advance to the next week

4: In the last three weeks of the season, a kicker may be picked by no more than half the remaining players

5: If no clear winner is determined by the end of week 17, we move to tiebreakers.

Tiebreakers
1 -Longest FG made the entire season from a kicker the week they kicked for you.
2 -Total points of all kickers the week they kicked for you.
3 -Total touchbacks of all kickers the week they kicked for you.
4 -Total points in each individual week, counting backwards (starts in week seventeen and goes back towards week one until the tie is broken).
5 -If it's even possible that I get to this step I'll figure something out and announce it before week 15.

Deadlines and picking your kickers
You must pick your kicker before kickoff of his scheduled game.
You may not edit your posts.
Once a kicker's game has started, he is locked in.
If you want to change your kicker, please do so in a new post with bold and italicized words so I don't miss it. As long as the timestamp is before your previous pick is locked in then it is fine.
Please don't edit posts, period. In the interest of fairness, any edited post that's during a time when a kicker could have been changed I am just going to eliminate you if any possible kicker you could have picked there missed a field goal.
In the interest of keeping things easy for me, please list the team the kicker plays for in your pick.

I'll probably give the winner a prize like an av cert or forums upgrade or something at the end, too.

Good luck!

ADDITIONAL RULE - The Roberto Aguayo High Risk, Low Reward Rule!
If you decide to pick the can't-miss draft of the season and he gets you through, you may bring back one of your dead kickers. HOWEVER you must specify which kicker you will bring back when you pick Roberto i.e. before the game starts. I have no idea if this will be a good or bad idea, but seeing as no one was ever going to pick him early anyway, we may as have him add some late season drama.

Kickers According to Depth Charts I Googled
Arizona Cardinals - Chandler Catanzaro
Chicago Bears - Connor Barth
Dallas Cowboys - Dan Bailey
Green Bay Packers - Mason Crosby
New York Giants - Josh Brown
Detroit Lions - Matt Prater
Washington Racist Names - Dustin Hopkins
Philadelphia Eagles - ~~Cody Parkey~~ Caleb Sturgis (thanks axeil)
Pittsburgh Yinzers - Chris Boswell Oh hey D-Link you brought me a gift rock? Why are you holding it so high? N...no D-Link that's not how you gift...NOOOOOOOOOOO *gurgles*
Los Angeles Rams - Greg Zuerlein
San Francisco 49ers - Phil Dawson
Cleveland Browns - Patrick Murray
Indianapolis Colts - Adam Vinatieri
Kansas City Chiefs - Cairo Santos
San Diego Chargers - Josh Lambo
Denver Broncos - Brandon McManus
New York Jets - Nick Folk
New England Patriots - Stephen Gostkowski
Oakland Raiders - Sebastian Janikowski
Tennessee Titans - Ryan Succop
Buffalo Bills - Dan Carpenter
Minnesota Vikings - Blair Walsh
Atlanta Falcons - Matt Bryant
Miami Dolphins - Andrew Franks
New Orleans Saints - Kai Forbath
Cincinnati Bengals - Mike Nugent
Seattle Seahawks - Steven Hauschka
Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Roberto Aguayo
Carolina Panthers - Graham Gano
Jacksonville Jaguars - Jason Myers
Baltimore Ravens - Justin Tucker
Houston Texans - Nick Novak

Week One

pre:

IcePhoenix            - Nick Novak                       KYOON GRIFFEY JR    - Justin Tucker                    Yodzilla            - Steven Hauschka
Dango Bango           - Graham Gano                      Elephanthead        - Nick Novak                       axeil               - Justin Tucker
wandler20             - Roberto Aguayo                   Intruder            - Dan Bailey                       Athanatos           - Matt Bryant 
Arnold Layne          - Adam Vinatieri                   Ron Roenicke        - Dan Bailey                       Mind_Taker          - Dan Bailey
TurboFlamingChicken   - Brandon McManus                  Cavauro             - Matt Prater                      cheesetriangles     - Brandon McManus
Metapod               - Ryan Succop                      marioinblack        - Sebastian Janikowski             Fenrir              - Mason Crosby
Big Ol Marsh Pussy    - Mike Nugent                      craisins            - Mason Crosby                     Cruel and Unusual   - Andrew Franks
Yoshifan823           - Greg Zuerlein                    Turdsdown Tom       - Josh Lambo                       The Big Jesus       - Ryan Succop
embarrasing tank      - Jason Myers                      The Zack            - Blair Walsh                      ComposerGuy         - Dan Bailey
Dirty Chub            - Sebastian Janikowski             c0ldfuse            - Nick Novak                       resident            - Greg Zuerlein
OxySnake              - Blair Walsh                      WaffleZombie        - Sebastian Janikowski             opposable thumbs.db - Cairo Santos 
The Kraken            - Dan Bailey                       Gobias Ind.         - Mason Crosby                     hughesta            - Connor Barth 
Bill Barber           - Connor Barth                     Great White Hope    - Patrick Murray                   Qwijib0             - Cairo Santos 
Ross Angeles          - Josh Lambo                       Grittybeard         - Dan Bailey                       TASTE THE PAIN!!    - Dan Bailey
Power of Pecota       - Adam Vinatieri                   Chimeric            - Adam Vinatieri                   Chichevache         - Dan Bailey
Christ Pseudoscientist- Dan Bailey                       Poonerman           - Adam Vinatieri                   Mughe               - Chris Boswell
rebel1608             - Stephen Gostkowski               No Butt Stuff       - Josh Lambo                       internet inc        - Chandler Catanzaro 
I Own Soulz           - Chris Boswell                    Infidel Castro      - Stephen Gostkowski

Week Two

pre:

IcePhoenix      - Blair Walsh             KYOON GRIFFEY JR      - Dan Bailey             Elephanthead     - Blair Walsh
axeil           - Dan Bailey              wandler20             - Dustin Hopkins         Intruder         - Stephen Gostkowksi
Athanatos       - Nick Novak              Arnold Layne          - Cairo Santos           Ron Roenicke     - Steven Hauschka
Mind_Taker      - Stephen Gostkowski      TurboFlamingChicken   - Greg Zuerlein          cheesetriangles  - Justin Tucker
Metapod         - Dan Bailey              marioinblack          - Roberto Aguayo         Fenrir           - Caleb Sturgis
craisins        - Caleb Sturgis           The Big Jesus         - TBD                    embarrasing tank - Greg Zuerlein
ComposerGuy     - Adam Vinatieri          Dirty Chub            - Caleb Sturgis          c0ldfuse         - Blair Walsh
WaffleZombie    - Mason Crosby            opposable thumbs.db   - Steven Hauschka        The Kraken       - Caleb Sturgis
Gobias Ind.     - Steven Hauschka         hughesta              - Caleb Sturgis          Bill Barber      - Dan Bailey
Great White Hope- Connor Barth            Qwijib0               - Adam Vinatieri         Grittybeard      - Mason Crosby
TASTE THE PAIN!!- Stephen Gostkowski      Power of Pecota       - Dan Carpenter          Chimeric         - Jason Myers
Chichevache     - Jason Myers             Christ Pseudoscientist- Matt Prater            Poonerman        - Chandler Catanzaro
Mughe           - Justin Tucker           rebel1608             - Josh Lambo             I Own Soulz      - Dan Carpenter
Infidel Castro  - Mason Crosby

Week Three

pre:

IcePhoenix            - Dan Bailey           KYOON GRIFFEY JR    - Graham Gano              Elephanthead     - Josh Lambo
axeil                 - Adam Vinatieri       wandler20           - Graham Gano              Arnold Layne     - Steven Hauschka
Ron Roenicke          - Cairo Santos         TurboFlamingChicken - Dan Bailey               cheesetriangles  - Dan Bailey
Metapod               - Steven Hauschka      embarrasing tank - Chris Boswell               ComposerGuy           - Chandler Catanzaro   
c0ldfuse              - TBD                  WaffleZombie     - Adam Vinatieri              opposable thumbs.db   - Dan Bailey           
Gobias Ind.           - Adam Vinatieri       Bill Barber      - Adam Vinatieri              Qwijib0               - Stephen Gostkowski   
Grittybeard           - Steven Hauschka      Power of Pecota  - Stephen Gostkowski          Christ Pseudoscientist- Adam Vinatieri       
Mughe                 - Steven Hauschka      rebel1608        - Sebastian Janikowski        I Own Soulz           - Nick Novak           
Infidel Castro        - Dan Bailey

Week Four

pre:

axeil       - Graham Gano         Arnold Layne    - Graham Gano         Ron Roenicke           - Adam Vinatieri
Metapod     - Stephen Gostkowski  ComposerGuy     - TBD                 WaffleZombie           - Matt Bryant
Gobias Ind. - Graham Gano         Bill Barber     - Stephen Gostkowski  Qwijib0                - Dustin Hopkins
Grittybeard - Ryan Succop         Power of Pecota - Dan Bailey          Christ Pseudoscientist - Nick Novak
Mughe       - Graham Gano         rebel1608       - Adam Vinatieri

Week Five

pre:

axeil        - Caleb Sturgis       Arnold Layne - Stephen Gostkowski     Ron Roenicke - Mason Crosby
WaffleZombie - Matt Prater         Gobias Ind.  - Stephen Gostkowski     Qwijib0      - Mike Nugent
Grittybeard  - Brandon McManus     Mughe        - Mike Nugent            rebel1608    - Roberto Aguayo

Week Six

pre:

axeil        - Matt Prater         Ron Roenicke - Greg Zuerlein
WaffleZombie -  Nick Folk          Grittybeard  - Wil Lutz

Week Seven

pre:

axeil        - Dustin Hopkins         Ron Roenicke - Justin Tucker
WaffleZombie - Josh Lambo

Week Eight

pre:

Ron Roenicke - Matt Bryant                 WaffleZombie - Cairo Santos

So uuuhhh, yeah. Pick your goddamn kickers you filthy gridiron people.

Horse Inspector fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Oct 30, 2016

# ? Sep 8, 2016 13:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 14:14

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Just for clarification, if I pick Aguayo in Week 1 for some strange reason, I couldn't bring anyone back. If I picked him in Week 2, I could only bring back my Week 1 kicker?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 13:55

Horse Inspector: Aug 11, 2005; privacy publicly displayed

That is correct. It's the high risk, low reward rule on so many layers.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 13:56

IcePhoenix: Sep 18, 2005; Take me to your Shida

I'm going to kick this off ( :haw:

) with Nick Novak - Houston Texans

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:10

KYOON GRIFFEY JR: Apr 12, 2010; Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Baltimore Ravens - Justin Tucker

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:14

Yodzilla: Apr 29, 2005; Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Steven Hauschka - Seattle Seahawks

I love this stupid game.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:27

Dango Bango: Jul 26, 2007

Thanks for doing this!

Going with Gano.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 14:44

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Houston Texans - Nick Novak

Elimination in week one is my thing.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 15:08

axeil: Feb 14, 2006

just an fyi for your OP the Eagles cut Parkey in favor of Sturgis.

Also Baltimore Ravens - Justin Tucker is my pick this week.

axeil fucked around with this message at 15:48 on Sep 8, 2016

# ? Sep 8, 2016 15:30

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

I've never participated in this but that's all about to change.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Roberto Aguayo

# ? Sep 8, 2016 15:54

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

I'm glad I didn't have to do this again

I'll pick Dan Bailey - Dallas Cowboys

wandler20 posted:

I've never participated in this but that's all about to change.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Roberto Aguayo

So just skimmed over the Aguayo rule?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:15

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

Atlanta Falcons - Matt Bryant

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:20

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

Intruder posted:

So just skimmed over the Aguayo rule?

Nope

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:32

Arnold Layne: Nov 4, 2008

Adam Vinatieri - Indianapolis

# ? Sep 8, 2016 16:34

totally losing my mime: Aug 3, 2012; The quiet can scrape
All the calm from your bones.
But maybe it should.
Maybe we need to be hollowed
To get up and grow,
And stop fucking around,
To kick off our braces and start straightening out; Fun Shoe

So glad this didn't end

Dan Bailey - Dallas Cowboys

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:51

Mind_Taker: May 7, 2007

Dan Bailey - Dallas Cowboys

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:01

Beefed Owl: Sep 13, 2007; Come at me scrub-lord I'm ripped!

Brandon McManus - Denver Broncos

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:01

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Matt Prater - Detroit Lions

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:01

cheesetriangles: Jan 5, 2011

Brandon McManus - Broncos.

I want to see if I make it past the first game.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 23:16

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

Tennessee Titans - Ryan Succop

# ? Sep 8, 2016 23:17

marioinblack: Sep 21, 2007; Number 1 Bullshit

I want to pick can't miss second round pick, but I guess I'll have to wait. Might as well go one round higher.

Oakland Raiders - Sebastian Janikowski

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:16

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

Week 1: Mason Crosby - GB

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:21

Big Ol Marsh Pussy: Jan 7, 2007

Cincinnati Bengals - Mike Nugent

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:23

craisins: May 17, 2004; A DRIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Am I too late? Can I do Mason Crosby?

# ? Sep 9, 2016 01:49

Shangri-Law School: Feb 19, 2013

Andrew Franks

# ? Sep 9, 2016 01:51

Yoshifan823: Feb 19, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Greg "Legatron" Zuerlein - LA Rams

# ? Sep 9, 2016 01:57

Dango Bango: Jul 26, 2007

Didn't even last a game :lol:

# ? Sep 9, 2016 04:52

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

RIP GAno

# ? Sep 9, 2016 04:53

barnold: Dec 16, 2011; what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

San Diego Chargers - Josh Lambo

i'm ready to win it this year

# ? Sep 9, 2016 04:53

Yodzilla: Apr 29, 2005; Now who looks even dumber?

Beef Witch

Kickers: still the worst.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 04:54

The Big Jesus: Oct 29, 2007; #essereFerrari

Metapod posted:

Tennessee Titans - Ryan Succop

Hell, same.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 05:11

Horse Inspector: Aug 11, 2005; privacy publicly displayed

craisins posted:

Am I too late? Can I do Mason Crosby?

You are not too late!

I was unfortunately on a flight for the game but I poured one out for our deceased friend Dango Bango when I could. Updates can be found in the OP and I will make a post at the end of each week with the results too.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 10:07