Breaking news: Giraffes are different now.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Breaking news: Giraffes are different now.

Drunk Canuck: Jan 9, 2010; Robots ruin all the fun of a good adventure.

We hosed up.

Turns out giraffes have 4 distinct genetic mutations that puts them as 4 different species, no one really bothered to check until now.

https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/774011197972709376

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/09/science/a-quadruple-take-on-the-giraffe-its-four-species-not-one.html?smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur

Link to study & conclusions: http://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(16)30787-4

Drunk Canuck fucked around with this message at 23:55 on Sep 8, 2016

# ? Sep 8, 2016 23:51

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 00:26

Dave_Indeed: Feb 22, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Science has gone too far.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 23:55

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

A lot of these boil down to "What the gently caress is a 'species'?"

There has never been a good answer. It's a matter of mushy language and our desire to categorize.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 23:56

Warm und Fuzzy: Jun 20, 2006

I think it's just the lighting

# ? Sep 8, 2016 23:58

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Pick posted:

A lot of these boil down to "What the gently caress is a 'species'?"

There has never been a good answer. It's a matter of mushy language and our desire to categorize.

This sounds like bestiality apologism to me :crossarms:

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:00

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

those horses are hosed up imo

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:00

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

A lot of these boil down to "What the gently caress is a 'species'?"

There has never been a good answer. It's a matter of mushy language and our desire to categorize.

Isn't it things that can produce viable offspring? Like there's your odd mules and whatever from similar species being close enough to interbreed but they can't have offspring of their own.

Just based on my high school biology so im prolly wrong I guess

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:00

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

Giraffes are the same but our understanding of them is different, imo.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:01

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

Pick posted:

A lot of these boil down to "What the gently caress is a 'species'?"

There has never been a good answer. It's a matter of mushy language and our desire to categorize.

drat our human lust for taxonomy!!!!

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:02

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Moridin920 posted:

Isn't it things that can produce viable offspring?

Like there's your odd mules and whatever from similar species being close enough to interbreed but they can't have offspring of their own.

Some mules are fertile, as are some tigons and ligers (hence ti-tigons and ti-ligers and etc). But no one would reasonably categorize tigers and lions as the same species.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:02

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

Some mules are fertile, as are some tigons and ligers (hence ti-tigons and ti-ligers and etc). But no one would reasonably categorize tigers and lions as the same species.

hm welp then idk you're probably right

also could we stop loving killing everything goddamn

quote:

Over the past 30 years giraffe numbers have dropped to about 90,000 individuals from about 150,000. Right now there are only about 4,750 northern giraffes and 8,700 reticulated giraffes.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:03

Flesh Forge: Jan 31, 2011; LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

The real question that everyone's thinking is how do they taste

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:03

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Moridin920 posted:

also could we stop loving killing everything goddamn

wait 'til you hear about rhinos

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:03

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I already know about Rhinos

but like what do giraffe necks make dicks gently caress long time or what? what in the actual gently caress why are we just slaughtering every single cool animal lol

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:04

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

quote:

The species problem is a mixture of difficult related questions that often come up when biologists define the word "species". There are a wide range of approaches to defining how we identify species and how species function in nature; each approach is known as a species concept. The number and types of species concepts which exist are constantly changing, but there are at least 26 recognized species concepts.[2] Biological reality means that a definition that works well for some organisms (e.g., birds) will be useless for others (e.g., bacteria) particularly due to concerns regarding if the species reproduces asexually or sexually. The scientific study of the species problem has been called microtaxonomy.[

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:04

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Moridin920 posted:

I already know about Rhinos

but like what do giraffe necks make dicks gently caress long time or what? what in the actual gently caress why are we just slaughtering every single cool animal lol

lol what's amazing is most species rebound if you just. stop. shooting. them.

and they need enough space to live, but whooooooph a lot of it is to just stop shooting them.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:06

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

How come we're the human race but we have different races of humans? Science debunked again!

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:06

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Pick posted:

Some mules are fertile, as are some tigons and ligers (hence ti-tigons and ti-ligers and etc). But no one would reasonably categorize tigers and lions as the same species.

That's only half true. They only have viable offspring if they pass on their mother's DNA. This does happen, but genetically speaking you're getting another mule (or whatever).

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:07

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Germstore posted:

That's only half true. They only have viable offspring if they pass on their mother's DNA. This does happen, but genetically speaking you're getting another mule (or whatever).

Well yeah it's a mess, but I was trying to use common species, the problem is more pronounced in cases with boring poo poo animals

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:09

Fitzy Fitz: May 14, 2005

These guys are just arguing that they should be upgraded from subspecies to species. We already knew they were different. It's kinda like how everyone's talking about the northern white rhino subspecies going extinct, but the southern white rhino subspecies is doing great.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:09

Friginator: May 13, 2014; by zen death robot

I still think we won't know until we taste them.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:10

ruddiger: Jun 3, 2004

We're a bunch of loving giracists.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:11

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

Pick posted:

i wish you still posted those threads about animals and stuff those were nice

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:11

ROFLburger: Jan 12, 2006

ruddiger posted:

We're a bunch of loving giracists.

suck my dick

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:11

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

ROFLburger posted:

i wish you still posted those threads about animals and stuff those were nice

eh.... nah

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:11

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

ligers and tigons are cool, but leopons look like unholy abominations which beg for a merciful death.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:13

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

ROFLburger posted:

i wish you still posted those threads about animals and stuff those were nice

it's hard to post them from a phone, also i'm tired every second of the day

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:13

RaySmuckles: Oct 14, 2009; Grimey Drawer

giraffes look loving weird. seriously, like what the gently caress

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:18

Thirsty Girl: Dec 5, 2015

RaySmuckles posted:

giraffes look loving weird. seriously, like what the gently caress

theryre basically big geese

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:26

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gf4tf6y3uuA

I honestly can't tell if this is satire or....

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:29

jarofpiss: May 16, 2009

anyone ever seen a giraffe gently caress? i bet it's hilarious

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:35

Flesh Forge: Jan 31, 2011; LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

https://youtu.be/qVpFco3QCjU mature audiences only contains giraffe boner

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:41

dookifex_maximus: Aug 10, 2016; by zen death robot

for taxonomical purposes, anyone I don't like is a different species than me

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:42

Father Wendigo: Sep 28, 2005; This is, sadly, more important to me than bettering myself.

Well they're still a planet to me. :pluto:

# ? Sep 9, 2016 22:52

Earwicker: Jan 6, 2003

Pick posted:

Some mules are fertile, as are some tigons and ligers (hence ti-tigons and ti-ligers and etc). But no one would reasonably categorize tigers and lions as the same species.

imo we should get rid of all the little subcategories and just call them all "cats"

# ? Sep 9, 2016 22:57