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I heard it makes youre hands all harry and you go blind but it also seems pretty cool -- are the risks worth it?? 
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Sep 10, 2016 16:38
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yeah op jacking off rules 10-4 good buddy
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Sep 10, 2016 16:46
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You should really practice on your friends so you don't accidentally hurt yourself.
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Sep 10, 2016 16:47
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Wear safety goggles to minimise the risk of accidental blindness.
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Sep 10, 2016 16:51
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lol I just noticed the * looks like a lil butthole ( * ) huh don't think I could jo to it tho i am imaginative as heck but denesnsitized to butts and the holes
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Sep 10, 2016 16:52
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dont gently caress around :p
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Sep 10, 2016 16:52
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yes
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Sep 10, 2016 16:53
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~Only when you're doing it to the detriment of your own health or to the lives of those around you.~ *Wipes down microphone screen* "OP, as a certified butt-boi and homebound retard masturbator how many times have you squeezed off a Nooner-spoonful over the course of your average workday?"
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Sep 10, 2016 17:07
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Only Apple is allowed to jack off
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Sep 10, 2016 17:08
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You're going to have to jack off when you upgrade to the iPhone 7, op because Apple removed your sex aid.
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Sep 10, 2016 17:10
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n*
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Sep 10, 2016 17:12
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http://matrix.wikia.com/wiki/Jacking_in
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Sep 10, 2016 17:22
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a lesbian friend of mine told me about something called edging, but it seemed like it has no joy at all in it so i never tried it once
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Sep 10, 2016 17:24
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Dirk Squarejaw posted:You're going to have to jack off when you upgrade to the iPhone 7, op because Apple removed your sex aid. 
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Sep 10, 2016 17:25
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extra stout posted:a lesbian friend of mine told me about something called edging, but it seemed like it has no joy at all in it so i never tried it once oh god that is those craft scissors that make the ends of papers have lil funny shapes on them right? noooooo
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Sep 10, 2016 17:26
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My girlfriend enjoys when I do it. Possibly more than I do.
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Sep 10, 2016 17:28
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Gatekeeper posted:oh god that is those craft scissors that make the ends of papers have lil funny shapes on them right? noooooo holy fukk i know what ur talking about, my mom used to be hella into craftbooking andhad hella willy wonka scissors and it was like no i just need regular scissors mom!
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Sep 10, 2016 17:33
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Anything that distracts you from posting. Although it appears Vendagoat can do both at once.
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Sep 10, 2016 17:34
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The Sphinxster posted:
the two are one in the same for venda, imo
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Sep 10, 2016 17:36
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Its bad to the bone
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Sep 10, 2016 17:44
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Testikles posted:My girlfriend enjoys when I do it. Possibly more than I do. Marry her man, seriously. When you're married you'll jerk off a ton, she'll dig it. There's no downside here.
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Sep 10, 2016 17:46
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its bad unless you use friction alone
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Sep 10, 2016 17:47
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Nooner posted:holy fukk i know what ur talking about, my mom used to be hella into craftbooking andhad hella willy wonka scissors and it was like no i just need regular scissors mom! Lol You said it, nooner ! 
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Sep 10, 2016 17:48
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i read it is healthy to j@ck off and c*m, something about purging toxins from the prostate and other glands and what not, what makes the c*m
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Sep 10, 2016 18:02
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gently caress you nooner
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Sep 10, 2016 19:13
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just wear a glove when you jerk off, jesus only gets notified if there's direct hand to dick contact
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Sep 10, 2016 19:15
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yes, all the cool kids edge for a month or so to become real studs in the sack
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Sep 10, 2016 19:15
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no way, kid. be a man be a volcel don't jack it, keep your essence pure. it's the only way.
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Sep 10, 2016 19:24
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Edging is good as hell just don't do it too much in one session or you will get a nightmarish case of the blue balls.
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Sep 10, 2016 19:24
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utterlycorrupt posted:Marry her man, seriously. When you're married you'll jerk off a ton, she'll dig it. There's no downside here. this isn't the forum for good advice, friend. there's the door
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Sep 10, 2016 19:25
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Real men don't have to masterbate, twink. We bang it out in real women, raw, blow our load deep in the cervix that should be wide open after supreme pleasuring, and drink a loving scotch afterward. If you need to run another lap of victory, slay that goddamn clit with your toungue. Anything else is priming your weak chump dick for some dudes rear end in a top hat.
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Sep 10, 2016 19:29
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hairly hands are very manly
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Sep 10, 2016 19:34
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Nah, I jack my friends off all the time and they've never complained
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Sep 10, 2016 19:35
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40 year veteran checking in: blind as a bat and still jacking
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Sep 10, 2016 19:49
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:a Nooner-spoonful gross
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Sep 10, 2016 19:50
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Just make sure you don't end up with a bad case of Prisoner's Colic, OP. No more than 20 times a day, ok? The Problems With Chronic Masturbation Biologically, chronic masturbating can affect our brain and body chemistry because it can overproduce sex hormones and neurotransmitters. This overproduction impacts each person differently, and can range from fatigue, pelvic pain, vision changes, lower back pain, testicular pain, or hair loss. If you notice any of these effects, try cutting back on your masturbation habits for a few months and see if it helps alleviate your symptoms. If the symptoms are still there, you might as well keep tugging away and see a doctor for a medical checkup.
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Sep 10, 2016 19:52
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autoaim.cfg posted:Just make sure you don't end up with a bad case of Prisoner's Colic, OP. i actually googled Prisoner's Colic. sad it's not real.
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Sep 10, 2016 19:55
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I once got in trouble in middle school 'cause that episode of Futurama about Bender jacking on aired the night before and my friend and I were loudly accusing each other of jacking on and a teacher heard us and we had to go to the assistant principal lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3RjP6_TV0E
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Sep 10, 2016 19:58
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lol 8008135 lol
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Sep 10, 2016 20:06
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Nooner posted:holy fukk i know what ur talking about, my mom used to be hella into craftbooking andhad hella willy wonka scissors and it was like no i just need regular scissors mom! hells to the yesss my nza 🌚 i wanted to cut my hair with em so my hair would have cool shapes in it but my mom said hair doesn't work that way and ykno what? i believe her. she's a good and kind lady she also told me jacking off is ok as long as it doesn't take up too much time or interfere with homework and taekwondo practice and helping clean up after dinner She's wise
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Sep 10, 2016 20:06
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