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Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist
I shouldn't have to say it, but if it hasn't aired yet, don't spoil poo poo in this thread.



This season begins September 21st on CBS! Check your local listings.

Are you looking for the Australian Survivor Thread?


Too much money? Smilies.


  • :probst:


  • :blindside:



What is Survivor?

Survivor is a reality show where a group of 18 to 20 or so contestants, from all walks of life, are stuck on a remote paradise and forced to live together for 39 days; gathering their own food, building their own shelter, and purifying their own water. The cast is split into opposing, equal teams, called tribes. The tribes must work together to form a community, in the hopes of one contestant becoming the Sole Survivor and winning one million dollars. At least one contestant is voted off every episode.

A typical Survivor season has three phases. Pre-Merge, Post-Merge, and Endgame.

  • Pre-Merge: Roughly the first half of the game. The tribes compete against each other twice each episode. First for a reward, and second for tribal immunity. Tribes that fail the immunity challenge will be forced to vote one of their own members out at the end of the episode.

  • Post-Merge: The tribes are merged together. Players are now playing for individual immunity and all players will participate in voting out a player from the tribe.

  • Endgame: Once 5-7 players or so remain, the show reaches the End game phase. Usually the very strong core alliances are shaken up here as people try to reach the end or placate the jury. The last nine players voted out before the final tribal council will join a Jury that will decide who will win of the final three (sometimes two) players.


Supplemental Material

  • Rob Has A Podcast: Available on iTunes or their website. Former Castaway Rob Cesternino does a few podcasts a week discussing the latest episodes events, interviewing the latest player voted out, and provides theories about strategy. He frequently brings former castaways on as guests. This podcast provides worthwhile insight and background information that you won't get from the show.

  • Twitter: List of Cast. Survivors poo poo on each other, shill for their crap, and every once in awhile tweet something that's actually amusing. Currently missing Michaela, Ciandre, Paul, and Taylor

  • YouTube: The Official YouTube Channel updates at the end of each episode with bonus confessionals, behind the scenes, and Ponderosa videos.


Glossary of Terms

  • Blindside: When a tribal council seems to be set up so one or one of two possible players are getting eliminated, but somehow either a secret coalition or a surprising idol play makes it so someone else is voted out instead.

  • "The Edit": Survivor is a show to entertain. It is produced and edited in a way to give players a streamlined personality and to create as much tension before Tribal Council as possible.

  • Goat: A useless, awful, or crazy person that is not being voted out of the game specifically so a player can look like a more desirable final survivor to the jury compared to the goat.

  • HII: Hidden Immunity Idol. They are hidden around the island. Clues will be given that could reveal their location. One-use item that a player can use after the votes are cast (but before they are read) at Tribal Council to nullify votes against that person. They can't be used at Final Four player or later.

  • Mactor: Portmanteau of "Model/Actor". A player who doesn't know the game very well and are just using it to further their career.

  • Pagonged: Going into post-merge, it's the act of voting out the former members of your opposing tribe before voting out the former members of your original tribe. It's the reason it's important to win tribal immunity pre-merge so that you outnumber the opposing tribe members in post-merge.

  • Pony/Poison: After the new season's cast is announced, thread members will pick a "Pony" (someone they think is awesome and will win) and a "Poison" (someone they think will suck and/or be an annoying rear end in a top hat they hope will lose or just simply suffer)

  • Purple Rocks: In the event of a tie at Tribal Council, there is a revote, with only the people receiving the most votes being eligible to receive votes during that revote. If the revote also ends in a tie, Survivors draw rocks. Whichever player draws the differently colored rock is eliminated from the game.

  • Splitting the vote/Flushing the Idol: An alliance that splits its votes between two members to counter a potential idol play. If one of those two players plays a Hidden Immunity Idol, there will still be enough players voting for the other guy to vote them out. This strategy can be risky.


This Season's Cast



Check out the CBS Official Cast Profiles for more information.

Zesty fucked around with this message at 19:12 on Nov 3, 2016

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BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!
Needs more Spencer GIFs.

jivjov
Sep 13, 2007

But how does it taste? Yummy!
Dinosaur Gum
Already waiting for the inevitable tribe shake up where the Millennial/Gen X divide goes out the window and into the goddamn trash where it belongs. I am not looking forward to 2-4 episodes of whiny "Participation trophies are for babies" horseshit.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist
I mentioned it in the last thread but Rob Cesternino's wife said that the Gen X'ers that complained about participation trophies in their bios should forfeit their prize money if they aren't the Sole Survivor.

Pony: Hannah
Poison: Michelle

My Pony was almost Zeke... then I saw Hannah's Twitter profile.



Naked Jeff image as the cover image. Making fun of Chris in her bio with the gum comment. Amusing feed.

Michelle, on the other hand, is the worst. A missionary recruiter who studies the ~*stars*~ and ~*dragons*~ who really wants to be a black widow... and what the hell is that rat tail that goes down to her rear end when her hair only reaches her shoulder blades?

KKKLIP ART
Sep 3, 2004

Speciffically off the super short OP biographies, I'm going with Mari as my pony and a split between Brent and Chris as my poison. I do like how when you lump people and call it a group in survivor, they really take it seriously, so it is going to be interesting to see how the players react to getting segmented up.

ApplesandOranges
Jun 22, 2012

Thankee kindly.
Eh why not.

Pony: Mari
Poison: Paul

I hope Mari gets to do what Shii-Ann couldn't and actually make it to endgame.

Orange Sunshine
May 10, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
I pick Will Wahl (yes, that's his name) as my poison, due to the following combination of quotes from his profile:

Inspiration in life: Jesus Christ and Ronald Reagan.

If you could have three things on the island, what would they be and why? Noise cancelling headphones so I won't have to hear any annoying people; a tent to stay dry in during the rain; and a Bible so that I can keep my sanity.

Reason for being on Survivor: My primary motivation is to show people that, even though I'm young, I can do anything an older person can do and more. People don't respect youth and I'm going to make them regret that. My secondary motivation is to screw with people's heads and lie every chance I get. It just sounds like fun.


Also, he's apparently still a high school student.

Red_Museum
Apr 17, 2011

Shredded Hen
Will's voice surprised me when I watched his video. He sounds about 40.

UltimoDragonQuest
Oct 5, 2011



Have to root for Figgy.

Poison: Chris the Gum Hater

Lampsacus
Oct 21, 2008

Orange Sunshine posted:

I pick Will Wahl (yes, that's his name) as my poison, due to the following combination of quotes from his profile:

Inspiration in life: Jesus Christ and Ronald Reagan.

If you could have three things on the island, what would they be and why? Noise cancelling headphones so I won't have to hear any annoying people; a tent to stay dry in during the rain; and a Bible so that I can keep my sanity.

Reason for being on Survivor: My primary motivation is to show people that, even though I'm young, I can do anything an older person can do and more. People don't respect youth and I'm going to make them regret that. My secondary motivation is to screw with people's heads and lie every chance I get. It just sounds like fun.


Also, he's apparently still a high school student.
He reminds me of me at 18 *hangs head*
At least I didn't get on Survivor with my terrible ideas though.
Pony: Justin because we're the same age.
Poison: Will Wahl because yeah.

I think we're reaching Survivor OP perfection btw. Great work!

Binary Logic
Dec 28, 2000

Fun Shoe
I wonder who Lucy pissed off at CBS to have such a terrible cast photo.

Zeke is the obvious my little pony but my pick is Michaela.
Most of the Gen X tribe is poison. I'm hoping they are dysfunctional and lose all the challenges. Boot order: David, Sandy, Paul, Chris, Ciandra, Bret.

Super Aggro Crag
Apr 23, 2008




And, of course as always, kill Hitler.


Why are there no hot girls this season?

Also why do Lucy and Paul have the same quote? If they both said that I want them both to win.

Super Aggro Crag fucked around with this message at 12:23 on Sep 14, 2016

ApplesandOranges
Jun 22, 2012

Thankee kindly.
Also noticed that Mari is 31 and Ken is 33, but they're on different tribes.

SweetJahasus
Dec 23, 2005

Dragon Slayer
Samurai Warrior
Escape Artist
Viking
Chong-Ra Master

BE THE WIZARD
All of these people look awful and this gimmick is bad. Is it S34 yet?

bowmore
Oct 6, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

Super Aggro Crag posted:

Why are there no hot girls this season?

:whitewater:

JakeP
Apr 27, 2003

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Lipstick Apathy

Met posted:

I mentioned it in the last thread but Rob Cesternino's wife said that the Gen X'ers that complained about participation trophies in their bios should forfeit their prize money if they aren't the Sole Survivor.

Pony: Hannah
Poison: Michelle

My Pony was almost Zeke... then I saw Hannah's Twitter profile.



Naked Jeff image as the cover image. Making fun of Chris in her bio with the gum comment. Amusing feed.

Michelle, on the other hand, is the worst. A missionary recruiter who studies the ~*stars*~ and ~*dragons*~ who really wants to be a black widow... and what the hell is that rat tail that goes down to her rear end when her hair only reaches her shoulder blades?

hannah owns hard as gently caress holy poo poo

mancalamania
Oct 23, 2008
The Milenials tribe could be a really entertaining disaster of overplaying since Zeke, Adam, Hannah, and Will are all huge dorky superfans and it's easy to to see how they will gain control of the tribe since Mari and Michaela are also clearly dorks that will fit in better with that group than with people like Jay, Taylor, and Figgy.

It'd be like Worlds Apart if Shirin and Max actually had power pre-merge instead of just thinking they did. :hellyeah:

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
Pony: Jessica
Poison: Mari
Puke: Zeke

Also if anyone cares the third version of the Funny 115 has started rolling out.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!

ApplesandOranges posted:

I hope Mari gets to do what Shii-Ann couldn't and actually make it to endgame.

Shii-Ann made it to F5 in all stars.

Super Aggro Crag posted:

Why are there no hot girls this season?

goons.txt

SweetJahasus
Dec 23, 2005

Dragon Slayer
Samurai Warrior
Escape Artist
Viking
Chong-Ra Master

BE THE WIZARD

Rarity posted:

Also if anyone cares the third version of the Funny 115 has started rolling out.

Considering he is someone who finds Coach as hilarious as I do, this is good news.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!
His first one was good, but he kind of got high on himself with the second one. Like Jesus dude, it's fifteen seconds of reality TV footage, you don't need to write the great American novel about it.

Dugong
Mar 18, 2013

I don't know what to do,
I'm going to lose my mind

Pony: David
Poison: the highschooler

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!
Pony: Next season.
Poison: This season.

Shneak
Mar 6, 2015

A sad Professor Plum
sitting on a toilet.
I really like this cast overall. Zeke, Hannah, Paul, Michaela, Figgy, Mari, Cece all look like they could be entertaining. I'll probably love to hate Michelle, Bret, and Taylor. I just hope that the narrative doesn't turn into something overly religious.

Max
Nov 30, 2002

Sunday seems like someone that is going to be voted out really fast, as that seems to be the fate of ultra-religious folks on this show.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist

Super Aggro Crag posted:

Also why do Lucy and Paul have the same quote? If they both said that I want them both to win.

I grabbed the quotes from their bios and preview videos. Both Paul and Lucy said their pet peeves are whiners and then proceeded to whine about participation trophies. They both also happened to be right next to each other in my setup. I was going to make the QQ high fiving each other but I didn't feel like editing it in after everything else.

:qq::hf::qq:

Max posted:

Sunday seems like someone that is going to be voted out really fast, as that seems to be the fate of ultra-religious folks on this show.

There's something like five ultra religious people. Sunday, Will, Michelle, and Ciandre for sure. I forget who the other one is.

Max
Nov 30, 2002

To be fair, Mike from season 30 was as well. You'll know who is getting the boot when they get a lot of screentime showcasing their faith and absolutely nothing else.

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist
I have no problem with the people who are openly religious on the show as long as they're not a jerk about it. Though I do get a little twitch when people thank god for their own good hard work as if they couldn't do it without divine help... but that's just me being a loving goon. It's especially egregious during challenges when the winner feels like God chose them over everyone else and lets the audience know. That's pretty loving self-centered.

Max
Nov 30, 2002

Met posted:

I have no problem with the people who are openly religious on the show as long as they're not a jerk about it. Though I do get a little twitch when people thank god for their own good hard work as if they couldn't do it without divine help... but that's just me being a loving goon. It's especially egregious during challenges when the winner feels like God chose them over everyone else and lets the audience know. That's pretty loving self-centered.

Oh, I don't have a problem with it either. But I've been binging a few seasons now, and there always seems to be someone near the beginning of every season that gets edited to be super duper religious with no other defining feature, and they get booted within 3 episodes. Mike seemed really religious as well, but the editors didn't really play that part about him up as much as they have for others (for good reason, he had to have the winner edit.)

Zesty
Jan 17, 2012

The Great Twist
By the way, for those of you who aren't too high on this season, Australian Survivor is pretty awesome. There's a link to the thread in the OP.

jivjov
Sep 13, 2007

But how does it taste? Yummy!
Dinosaur Gum

Met posted:

Though I do get a little twitch when people thank god for their own good hard work as if they couldn't do it without divine help...
I get those same twitches when sports figures pray in the endzone or point to "god" after a home run. I mean, believe whatever you want, but it seems insulting to your teammates. "Nah, your work in practices and on the field didn't matter, it was all thanks to whichever deity I happen to believe in"

George Kansas
Sep 1, 2008

preface all my posts with this
Pony: Michelle
Poison: Adam

predictions: David will either be psychoanalyzed and destroyed immediately or will develop and become a social game savant.

Bret, Chris and Paul will make an alliance where they communicate wordlessly, solely in grunts

Jay will tell his bros they're handsome and they'll make a handsome bro alliance

ApplesandOranges
Jun 22, 2012

Thankee kindly.

Max posted:

To be fair, Mike from season 30 was as well. You'll know who is getting the boot when they get a lot of screentime showcasing their faith and absolutely nothing else.

Didn't Natalie and someone, Brett probably, from Russell's first season bond over religion? They made it to top 5.

Max
Nov 30, 2002

ApplesandOranges posted:

Didn't Natalie and someone, Brett probably, from Russell's first season bond over religion? They made it to top 5.

People often do. It's really when the edit is like "This person is 100% about Jesus, every minute of every day" that you know the boot is coming. If they get any other characterization at all, they aren't going soon, or for that reason.

SweetJahasus
Dec 23, 2005

Dragon Slayer
Samurai Warrior
Escape Artist
Viking
Chong-Ra Master

BE THE WIZARD

Met posted:

By the way, for those of you who aren't too high on this season, Australian Survivor is pretty awesome. There's a link to the thread in the OP.

I haven't seen the gen x season but I can safely say that Australian survivor is this season's real survivor. So far it's been great.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


American Survivor is gonna seem so loving slow.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!
Yes and no. Fewer boots each week, but the editing/pace of the program itself is a lot tighter and faster-moving.

Lampsacus
Oct 21, 2008

I feel us Survivor veterans don't need as much footage to get the jist of certain typical situations whereas Australia Survivor was really aiming for a fresher market so everything is explained a bit more in depth? Which is so cool.

I'm so pumped for more Jeff though. He's so good at his job.

Propaganda Machine
Jan 2, 2005

Truthiness!
I think it's more just the format difference. Reality competition programming on Ten is just expected to be multiple nights/week with the longer runtime. I'd imagine Survivor got the extra weekly episode as much because only having two made for awkward scheduling, as anything.

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Dugong
Mar 18, 2013

I don't know what to do,
I'm going to lose my mind

The Australian host always looks so shiny. Do they drop him in a vat of tanning lotion before each challenge?

(Yeah Oz survivor is really good)

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