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Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Newman floats around the room on suspensors, plotting to steal Seinfeld's signet ring for himself.

Jerry breaks up with his latest concubine because she keeps using the Voice on him.

Jerry's girlfriend wants him to wear her designer stillsuit the next time he goes before the Landsraad.
"But I don't wanna be a Fremen!"

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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

george is brutally ripped apart for his choice of footwear/the meat on his bones

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Kramer tries to keep his first name a secret because it's a killing word.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

kramer bursts through the door of the theater to find elaine being eaten by morlocks

he shouts a racial slur at them, laugh track

Egbert Souse
Nov 6, 2008

This spice is making me thirsty!

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Do you think your sleeper ever hits the snooze button? You think anybody's ever gotten up in front of their army of fanatic worshippers and announced "THE SLEEPER NEEDS FIVE MORE MINUTES!"

Jazz riff.

Communist Bear
Oct 7, 2008

And what's the deal with Fremen anyway?

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
George: "I've always wanted to be a Mentat."

Applewhite fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Sep 15, 2016

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Commander Jericho "Jerry" Seinfeld tests out the newest warp core that accidentally routes his entire crew through a gateway to hell. After a brief blinding flash, the bridge of the Israeli Spacecruiser "SS Jr Mint" is decorated in 90s kitsch and superhero memorabilia. The entire cast is hateraped by demons that look an awful lot like Wayne Knight. Master (of his own Domain) and Commander Seinfeld screams the last scream heard before the ship disappears from the galaxy. In the distance, a funky bass slaps a jazzy minor chord.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
*Kramer grinning ear to ear as he steers the worm's tail*

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
Elaine takes a wrong turn at Old Manhattan Road and her hovercar breaks down, she finds herself running from an army of mutated slug people after she offended them with her little kicks.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

uncle leo is still alive and stronger than ever as the last mantree of manhattan

his progeny tend to his mole flowerings every cycle, and have always done so since the parks department became a hereditary business

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem
So who's teleporting all the teleporter operators to work then?

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
"I'm at the nexus of the universe!!" screams Kramer as time and space around him collapses into a bubble, he has entered the 4th dimension and all memory of his existence has been wiped from the universe.

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006
*characters dont exist, there is only the singularity*

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem
Now everyone thinks I'm a trisexual otherkin!

-There's plenty wrong with that!

12gaugelobotomy
Apr 25, 2012
Costanza has finally got "the spot" to park his sandworm but now can't leave Newman sets off a stone burner to destroy Kramer's new Axlotl tank

e. And thats all i remember from the books/seinfeld

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
10,000 years have passed and I'm still thirsty from those pretzels

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
George: "Get this: travel... without moving."

Jerry: "Travel without moving?"

George: "Travel without moving!"

Jerry: "No moving at all?"

George: "No movement whatsoever!"

Jerry: "Huh... you want to travel, but you don't feel like moving... I like it!"

Jerry: "So how do we do it?"

George (pleased with himself): "We fold space!"

Vakal
May 11, 2008
Kramer: "I've killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful.
I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and I have never once shown any mercy."

*laugh track*

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
George walks into the apartment with bushy gray eyebrows and red stains around his lips. He is clearly exasperated.

Jerry: "this is gonna be good."

Heehee Hartlocks
Feb 9, 2012

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
kramer bumps into a human from sector AX-Tevlon 4199 Subsystem L-9 and berates him for not having true earth ancestry

meanwhile george bought a sex android from the galactic internet but it turns out to be a malfunctioning one that denies him sex and keeps repeating "cargo bay is vacant, cannot commence main program"

jerry can't handle that conventional airplanes have been replaced with ion propulsion drive hoverjets with wormhole travelling capabilities, tells elaine "you can't say you 'flew' anywhere anymore, you gotta say warped now!", he rolls his eyes. "and you can't even crack open a bag of peanuts! you've arrived in two seconds!"

elaine tries to find an easy date online, but all the human males are attracted to the beautiful and promiscuous Wreanians. she ends up in a wrestling match with a Wreanian after a potential date gets taken away from her at the last second when the Wreanian casually strolls by

Cruising Altitude
Sep 15, 2016

by WE B Bourgeois

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same

Applewhite posted:

George: "Get this: travel... without moving."

Jerry: "Travel without moving?"

George: "Travel without moving!"

Jerry: "No moving at all?"

George: "No movement whatsoever!"

Jerry: "Huh... you want to travel, but you don't feel like moving... I like it!"

Jerry: "So how do we do it?"

George (pleased with himself): "We fold space!"

several friends
Apr 7, 2015

Kramer bursts through airlock, entire cast is sucked into the void of space and lifeless in seconds

Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013
Jon Voight's starcruiser... :smuggo:

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

big shags posted:

Kramer bursts through airlock, entire cast is sucked into the void of space and lifeless in seconds

:stumbles backwards:

Masturbasturd
Sep 1, 2014
George's dad gets genetically modified back to being a four year old.
Constantly asks "Is it serenity yet?"

Cruising Altitude
Sep 15, 2016

by WE B Bourgeois
So you thought you'd get out of Jail Seinfelds??

several friends
Apr 7, 2015

Hey applewhite all these scenarios have been pretty good you should do a Seinfeld 10,191 CYOA now

12gaugelobotomy
Apr 25, 2012
Elaine tries on a sand trout pant suit and becomes a god while Jerry and Kramer travel the universe with George who got a new job as a spacing guild navigator.

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
Elaine: "I'll have the big salad make it 10,191 big"

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Why do people always say beginnings are such a delicate time? I never heard of somebody complaining about the beginning of a movie being spoiled. I've never heard of someone getting their mind blown by a "twist beginning."
Who's the guy who hears about the beginning of a movie and goes "OH NOO, WHY'D YOU SAY THAT! YOU SPOILED THE WHOLE BEGINNING FOR ME!"

*Slap bass.*

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Elaine: Travel without moving? That's your idea?

George: Yeah.

Elaine: How does that work? If you travel someplace, it means you moved, that's what traveling is, it means you're moving from one place to another.

George: Not the way we do it.

Gene Hackman Fan
Dec 27, 2002

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
"so get this: i get stuck in an elevator with this guild navigator."

"you're kidding -- how big was this elevator?"

"big enough. it was a weird building."

"are you sure you weren't in the freight elevator?"

"what is this, the victorian age? you think the guild would want me to come in the back way so nobody they want to impress sees me slumming the joint?"

"not really. they might have put the freight elevator up front if that's where all the deliveries are coming in."

"that's beside the point. point is, i'm in this elevator with this navigator. that stereotype about navigators being terrible conversationalists? totally true."

"not surprising."

"it's like he wanted to make the conversation as awkward as possible! new machines on ix this, we just folded space that. and as soon as you think you got a handle on what he's talking about, he changes the subject again!"

personable decorum
Sep 7, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

Applewhite posted:

Newman floats around the room on suspensors, plotting to steal Seinfeld's signet ring for himself.

Jerry breaks up with his latest concubine because she keeps using the Voice on him.

Jerry's girlfriend wants him to wear her designer stillsuit the next time he goes before the Landsraad.
"But I don't wanna be a Fremen!"

k we both know on any given Sunday i can mania write stream of conscious dialogue at ur rate it only really remains can i make mine robust and cutting and clever like yours tries to be. lets chill

reallivedinosaur
Jun 13, 2012

Ogdober subrise! XDDD
in the year 3535
if man is still alive
watching seinfeld from a bee hive

personable decorum
Sep 7, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
"geometrically evolve elaine"

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Gene Hackman Fan
Dec 27, 2002

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
[ELAINE WALKS WITHOUT RHYTHM, OTHER FREMEN LOOK ON DERISIVELY]

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