why don't you lick me where i fart?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > why don't you lick me where i fart?

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

looks like Chris browns "y'all can suck a fart out of my rear end for all I care" and denver fenton allen's "suck my dick you fuckman" have some company in the "cool fuckin poo poo to say to nerds who should step the gently caress off" department:

"why don't you lick me where i fart?"

but would you believe that instead of a violent serial domestic abuser or an alleged jailhouse killer, this extraordinary burn was uttered by a frumpo "secondary school" teacher??? (pm me if you can explain to me what secondary school is, in America we have different school)

http://huff.to/2cVkeH1
(that's a link to the newspaper article story)

this is some cool story out of canada that was smeared across my fassbook today. A grody teacher said some shockingly bad stuff to her students, calling them gay bitches and pedophiles and whatnot. i've bolded her choicest most primo quotes below in this very well written newspaper article from the Huffingpost Times electric newspaper.

quote:

A high school English teacher in Dunnville, Ontario, has been suspended for a month without pay after allegedly using words that would never appear on a vocabulary test.

Jennifer Elizabeth Green-Johnson was suspended in August from her post at Dunnville Secondary School for allegedly saying to a student, �Why don�t you lick me where I fart?�

The Ontario College of Teachers, which licenses educators in the Canadian province, suspended her for a month without pay while it investigates the matter, according to the Brantford Expositor.

The teacher�s rhetorical question became public knowledge this week when the OCT accused Green-Johnson of two separate charges of swearing and vulgarity in the classroom, according to 640Toronto.com.

In March 2015, Green-Johnson allegedly slapped a male student on the head and told him to �grow some balls.� Her employer, the Grand Erie District School Board, suspended her for one day without pay.

Green-Johnson is also accused of swearing at students during the school year, calling one a �bloody pedophile� and telling another she looked like �a frumpy old lady.� In February, the school board suspended her for six days without pay for the incidents.

...

The report shows that Green-Johnson admitted to calling students stupid, idiots, gay and �a bitch,� according to the Brantford Expositor.

Some of the more salacious findings include that she told a student who was carrying another student on his back �So you like it from behind� and told one class while they were watching a film with nudity that it was impossible to see the actor�s penis without a microscope.

She also accidentally hit a male student in his groin while trying to stop two students who were swinging binders at each other.

wow. this ball-hitting dick-joke-cracking prof sounds like my kinda teacher! i especially like the newspaper journalism authors observation that she said "words that would never appear on a vocabulary test". very clever observation!!

Anyhow, I hope you guys will help me welcome this new "catch" phrase to the internet. We're important again as we all learned this morning so let's put this status to good use by saying "why don't you lick me where i fart" as much as you can especially on your friends fassbooks and twitters

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:11

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:52

Falun Bong Refugee: Dec 14, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

Here's my opinion on your thread:

*Fart*

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:13

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

Here's my opinion on your thread:

*Fart*

are you offering me a place to lick :bigtran:

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:16

Jose Mengelez: Sep 11, 2001; by Azathoth

i flunked fartholing 101 :smith:

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:16

Laughing Man: Feb 11, 2008; I thought what I’d do was pretend I was one of those deaf mutes, or something...

my girl friend farted in my mouth when I was kissing her butt, i do not recommend it

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:17

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

your girl friend sounds like a dick

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:18

Vastarien: Dec 20, 2012; Where I live is nightmare, thus a certain nonchalance.; Buglord

imagine having to lick that woman's butthole.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:19

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Vastarien posted:

imagine having to lick that woman's butthole.

I bet it tastes like mayonnaise.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:21

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I think it's fine

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:21

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Someone clearly needs to buy her an account.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:21

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

Vastarien posted:

imagine having to lick that woman's butthole.

lol godbless you bad judgement woman

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:21

new phone who dis: May 24, 2007; by VideoGames; Morbid Hound

Vastarien posted:

imagine having to lick that woman's butthole.

I've done worse.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:22

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

VendaGoat posted:

I bet it tastes like mayonnaise.

Soulless mayonnaise.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:22

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Dirk Squarejaw posted:

Soulless mayonnaise.

Is there any other kind?

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:25

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

Vastarien posted:

imagine having to lick that woman's butthole.

thanks bud I was gonna post her pic then I forgot

so thank you being a small helper!

not a fartplace I'd like to put my tongue but I guess never say never???

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:25

sofokles: Feb 7, 2004; Fuck this

why would fart never appear on a vocabulary test
its an important and useful word

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:25

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

VendaGoat posted:

Is there any other kind?

mayos good, dope

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:26

The Duchess Smackarse: May 8, 2012; by Lowtax

Technically every sexually aware child IS a pedophile! Makes you think, those sick fuckers spend all day with our children!!!!

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:26

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

sofokles posted:

why would fart never appear on a vocabulary test
its an important and useful word

I assume bc it's so easy to spell, not tricky like camouflage or opthalmologist

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:27

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Gatekeeper posted:

mayos good, dope

I prefer Miracle Whip.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:28

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

VendaGoat posted:

I prefer Miracle Whip.

flyover bs, yuckers

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:33

autoaim.cfg: Aug 6, 2005; WHINY SHITHEAD
*drops mic*

Vastarien posted:

imagine having to lick that woman's butthole.

I read the OP.

Got a semi.

Scrolled down.

Now I'm going to have mental scars for the rest of my life.

Why did you do this to me, OP?

Such hopes! Such dreams! For naught!

NAUGHT, I SAY!

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:35

sofokles: Feb 7, 2004; Fuck this

Gatekeeper posted:

I assume bc it's so easy to spell, not tricky like camouflage or opthalmologist

phart

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:39

several friends: Apr 7, 2015

Vastarien posted:

teacher looks like boglin, resorts to hurling gbs insults to vent sexual frustration

teacher is hot and knows it, fucks kid but gets caught

theres a lesson in all this and its that USA is still #1 :patriot:

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:45

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

big shags posted:

teacher looks like boglin, resorts to hurling gbs insults to vent sexual frustration

teacher is hot and knows it, fucks kid but gets caught

theres a lesson in all this and its that USA is still #1

I used to sleep w a girl who looked like this (no headband tho :saddowns:

) and she had one eye that would go lazy as heck because she was alwYs sniffing markers and the more shed sniff the more her eye would drift off

She's a lawyer now and doesn't gently caress me anymore :smithicide:

# ? Sep 17, 2016 21:50

several friends: Apr 7, 2015

Gatekeeper posted:

I used to sleep w a girl who looked like this (no headband tho ) and she had one eye that would go lazy as heck because she was alwYs sniffing markers and the more shed sniff the more her eye would drift off

She's a lawyer now and doesn't gently caress me anymore

was her name maggie lizer

# ? Sep 17, 2016 22:08

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

I've not noticed much phart porn out there

Is it there if I look for it?

Someone with Bing as their homepage pls let me know

# ? Sep 17, 2016 22:26

prison is fun: Sep 17, 2016; by Smythe

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

Here's my opinion on your thread:

*Fart*

It's almost as if, if you work out your bum and are proud of it and it's clean people will lick it. If you have very little hygiene or brains and fall for Fart Fetish Romance trolls like OP then obviously you become obsessed with licking rear end and poo poo because it's become your profession. If you're insecure, then you just lie about it or embellish it into a troll about other people's asses because you're embarrassed of yourself. This is also called projecting.

# ? Sep 17, 2016 22:31

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

and if you're a broken speak n spell you rereg to post about projecting pharts

# ? Sep 17, 2016 23:01

prison is fun: Sep 17, 2016; by Smythe

it's amazing how quick a diet clean up can clean up ur body? right. quit eating ice cream and soy etc.

# ? Sep 18, 2016 00:22

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

prison is fun posted:

it's amazing how quick a diet clean up can clean up ur body? right. quit eating ice cream and soy etc.

wrong again fucko

soy is good

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:43

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i want tits

and a dope fartbox

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:44

prison is fun: Sep 17, 2016; by Smythe

im so glad im not you you dairy queen loving russian bride

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:45

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

i wanna lick dare where he thinks

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:47

prison is fun: Sep 17, 2016; by Smythe

mindsex? with me? i am just an unpolite nword polock

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:48

just ray: Jan 3, 2014; by merry exmarx

in the old days I would have give you q BLT if you know whqt I meqn with extrq mqyors

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:49

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

trip report: like an orange flavored cat giving birth on the keyboard of my mind

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:49

prison is fun: Sep 17, 2016; by Smythe

correcting grammar isnt a bit. u chasing down a guy and then murdering him for triggering u in cuba when drunk is psycho poo poo only psychos will appreciate just sayin ray

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:50

Miss Cheggs: Mar 22, 2007

This lady is clearly a victim of PC culture run amok!

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:52

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 17:52

Gatekeeper: Aug 3, 2003; He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

prison is fun posted:

correcting grammar isnt a bit. u chasing down a guy and then murdering him for triggering u in cuba when drunk is psycho poo poo only psychos will appreciate just sayin ray

Ahahahaha now who's the racist you franklin delano hatecrime?????

# ? Sep 18, 2016 01:54

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