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Yes we hire ex-cons sorry that I believe in another chance. Just speak them them and they will CONvince you to make all your lighting dreams come true.  GBS KING  "And the kingin is good!"
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Sep 19, 2016 16:27
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i'm glad someone was willing to make light of the situation
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Sep 19, 2016 16:28
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satanic splash-back posted:i'm glad someone was willing to make light of the situation  yeah the situation was pretty dim GBS KING "And the kingin is good!"
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Sep 19, 2016 16:30
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But seriously come down to smashs lamp emporium . As the kids say, It's lit GBS KING "And the kingin is good!"
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Sep 19, 2016 16:31
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Ask us about our free home
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Sep 19, 2016 16:31
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i just think its messed up that you guys made the interior lights for giant ovens during world war 2, also maybe you should stop your line of nazi helmet themed lamp shades, otherwise your products are really nice and well made
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Sep 19, 2016 16:33
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Luvcow posted:i just think its messed up that you guys made the interior lights for giant ovens during world war 2, also maybe you should stop your line of nazi helmet themed lamp shades, otherwise your products are really nice and well made Supply and demand my good friend! We can't cut one of our best sellers! It is for historian enthusiasts only not to be used for any propaganda! Applewhite posted:Ask us about our free home  GBS KING "And the kingin is good!"
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Sep 19, 2016 16:35
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Talk to "Brod" for any of your customer service questions!
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Sep 19, 2016 16:36
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This stigmata needs to go... I need a doctor, holy gently caress.
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Sep 19, 2016 16:36
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what about your lamps made from tiger and rhino penis? are those really sustainable building materials or are you contributing to species extinction? just want to say i'm very happy with all of my animal penis lamps i've bought, I'm just not sure if i should hide them when my PETA friends come over for tea
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Sep 19, 2016 16:37
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Luvcow posted:what about your lamps made from tiger and rhino penis? are those really sustainable building materials or are you contributing to species extinction? Please speak to "brod" GBS KING "And the kingin is good!"
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Sep 19, 2016 16:38
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you forgot to include your sig in that one post. i'm starting to believe you may not be the genuine article the real deal bonafide even
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Sep 19, 2016 16:42
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Yelp Review: very helpful and courteous employees. I'd like to give a special shout out to the polite young man who helped me find the perfect lamp for my parlor. I don't remember his name but he had a swastika tattooed on his forehead.
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Sep 19, 2016 16:44
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Applewhite posted:Yelp Review: very helpful and courteous employees. I'd like to give a special shout out to the polite young man who helped me find the perfect lamp for my parlor. I don't remember his name but he had a swastika tattooed on his forehead. Reply: Thank you for your purchase but, You're really going to have to be more specific. GBS KING "And the kingin is good!"
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Sep 19, 2016 16:45
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Yelp review for The Lamp Emporium: I went in to look for a new desk lamp, but as soon as I stepped inside, a saw a bunch of guys surrounding two naked dudes fighting each other with knives. One guy was tossing a knife between his hands while the other held it in his teeth. It looked badass (or "piss") until one guy cut open the other and ate his beating heart. I got a desk lamp for 69 cents. 2/5
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Sep 19, 2016 16:53
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That Robot posted:Yelp review for The Lamp Emporium: Reply: thank you for shopping with us! The lamp emporium is an equal opportunity employer! We hire people of all races and beliefs, what you may have saw was a big foot passage of man hood! Do not be alarmed! GBS KING "And the kingin is good!"
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Sep 19, 2016 17:03
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do you have any public restrooms or am i going to have to buy one of your old fashioned bongs
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Sep 19, 2016 17:59
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"I like lamp" - The Anchored Man LOL 
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Sep 19, 2016 18:02
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hth posted:do you have any public restrooms or am i going to have to buy one of your old fashioned bongs We have two public restrooms! One for paying customers and one for non paying! Choose wisely GBS KING "And the kingin is good "
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Sep 19, 2016 18:02
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Nooner posted:"I like lamp" - The Anchored Man LOL Holy poo poo I didn't even think of this! Think he is available for spokesman ship he will have like a candle in the rain and be like "CANDLE WAS A BAD LIGHTING CHOIce!!!" GBS KING "And the kingin is good "
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Sep 19, 2016 18:03
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"Hey boss, the new chandelier you designed has arrived!"
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Sep 19, 2016 18:07
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Smash it Smash hit posted:Holy poo poo I didn't even think of this! "Well that escalated quickly!" Is what I said after stepping onto the escalator leading to the upper level of your store. I said this because it moves seven or eight times faster than a normal escalator and I was launched off the top into a pyramid of lamps, shattering them comically. I will obviously be shopping there again but until you fix your escalator issue I cannot in good conscience rate your store higher than 12/30 Yelps.
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Sep 19, 2016 18:09
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Your lamp store has no bulbs 1/10
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Sep 19, 2016 18:11
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I'm going to open a bulb store next door to the lamp emporium
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Sep 19, 2016 18:14
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It's gonna be called "bulb-a-store"
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Sep 19, 2016 18:15
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Also who stacks lamps in a pyramid mere inches from the top of the escalator? Even if it were a normal speed escalator people would be hard pressed to dismount without knocking them over.
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Sep 19, 2016 18:17
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Kashuno posted:Your lamp store has no bulbs 1/10 This is technically not true. The associates have three or four that they pass around for demonstrations.
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Sep 19, 2016 18:19
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Smash it Smash hit posted:GBS KING King? I didn't know we had a king, I thought we were an autonomous collective of autists.
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Sep 19, 2016 18:21
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which one of these has robin williams rattling around in it
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Sep 19, 2016 18:22
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Applewhite posted:Also who stacks lamps in a pyramid mere inches from the top of the escalator? Even if it were a normal speed escalator people would be hard pressed to dismount without knocking them over. A maverick that's who you don't get on top of the lamp industry but not taking chances!!'nn GBS KING "And the kingin is good "
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Sep 19, 2016 18:45
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Speleothing posted:This is technically not true. The associates have three or four that they pass around for demonstrations. Just ask "brod" for a light hehe, don't worry if he says "sorry I don't smoke!" That's just ol "brod" cutting up! GBS KING "And the kingin is good "
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Sep 19, 2016 18:45
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my bulb-a-store is offering a new promotion, buy one of our bulbs and you can go take any lamp you want from the lamp emporium, just dont let Smash it Smash hit see you doing it
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Sep 19, 2016 18:51
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and for the last time NO we dont sell flower bulbs, only lightbulbs
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Sep 19, 2016 18:52
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smash hit smash hi how do i turn off your signature, thank you
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Sep 19, 2016 18:52
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Lamp Emporium Election Day Sale: you will get five free damaged lamps to break in the loading dock along with a complimentary bat some of the lamps will have been pissed or shat on, so make sure to not get cut it's an Election Day sale because if you cut your head with glass you'll become a trump supporter 
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Sep 19, 2016 18:54
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does the lamp emporium stock torches as well? I need some for a certain "project" i have in the "works"
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Sep 19, 2016 19:01
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Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew, 5:15 and 5:16
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Sep 19, 2016 19:08
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Nooner posted:does the lamp emporium stock torches as well? I need some for a certain "project" i have in the "works" Of course friend that is in our "vintage" section! Pleasure doing business with a fellow entrepreneur FuhrerHat posted:smash hit smash hi how do i turn off your signature, thank you What signature ??????? GBS KING "And the kingin is good "
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Sep 19, 2016 19:10
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i bought a lamp from your store and when i got home i noticed it didnt have a lampshade or cord and the guy who carved his name into it had been using it as an ashtray
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Sep 19, 2016 19:10
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Mozi posted:Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. Matthew, 5:15 and 5:16 We are taking the Bible to the next century!!!!!!!!! GBS KING "And the kingin is good "
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Sep 19, 2016 19:10
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