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WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

http://imgur.com/a/50u1v

Your 2016-2017 Disruptors Of The NBA, Your Sacramento Kings 3.0

Except for a very brief moment in the early 2000s, the Kings have not been a proud franchise. Perennial losers stuck in the punchline of California, not much good was ever associated with the Kings. That was until the team was purchased by one of the most disruptive, innovative men in technology. Now the franchise is on the up-and-up and big things are coming our way...nope not really. The team will be mediocre to bad again this year. All the off-season moves were either to maintain future flexibility or to collect future assets, there is not much immediate help coming in for a team that looked quite hapless last season. But the fans are loyal and we have a shiny new arena to distract everyone for a season or two.

Owner: Vivek Ranadive


The visionary of NBA3.0. Promised to disrupt the league with forward thinking innovative tech-centric ideas. This resulted in things like Bitcoin being accepted in the team store, everyone wearing Google Glass for pre-game back when people cared about Google Glass, crowd sourcing the draft, using science and data to prove Nik rocks, and robotic security guards that I will one day pee on. While all of these things are clear home run ideas, his work in the personnel side of things has been terrible.

Whether it was soley his decision or manipulated into it, he fired the only good coach we've had in a decade when the team was actually playing well. He then panic hired George Karl to cover for the mistake and the end result was just like every other George Karl stint only without any of the short term success stuff. We've also made a bunch of baffling trade and free agent decisions in an attempt to build a "win now" team.

But this off-season he's largely been quiet. Nothing big or splashy was done and, for better or worse, the front office appears to have been free to do it's thing unencumbered. Has Vivek transitioned to a Kings Owner 2.0? I hope so.

GM Vice President of Basketball Operations Guy Who Makes Final Decisions: Vlade Divac


Big bearded loveable Vlade. Sacramento loves this big soft chainsmoking teddy bear for all the good stuff he was a part of back during our brief run of relevance. But as a basketball decision maker he has been terrible. Last season he traded away a bunch of assets in order to get a bunch of cap space so he could sign some guy before they even had a meeting. Said player then said "nah I'm good" and Vlade was left holding a bag which turned into Marco Belinelli and Kosta Koufos. Chain smoking probably would have been a more well-thought out long term decision than that. Vlade was relatively quiet on the trade front, but that's probably because no one wants our garbage.

This summer Vlade brought in an actual front office support guy who actually knows trivial things like "what's a salary cap" and "how to structure a smart contract". The result was we made some very shrewd short term deals for veteran players. But while we made some smart free agency signings, the draft was one big head scratcher. Our top pick was used on a guy who plays the same position as our best player and we drafted a SG that can't shoot. All in all Vlade the basketball operations guy still is a work in progress.

The Coach Until Vivek Fires Him: Dave Joerger


Found his way onto the team because of drama with previous employer. Now in charge of a bunch of 14 year old cry baby brats. The Kings lucked into a quality coaching prospect here. After diddling around with the likes of Mike Bibby's dad, Vinny Del Negro, and Mark Jackson, the Kings snagged the coach of a perennial playoff team. And got him for a pretty cheap rate too. Given his reputation from Memphis, should get buy-in from Cousins. And hopefully can use his experience with Zach and Marc to figure out something with Cousins and the armada of big men and lack of shooting we have.

The Team

Centers:

DeMarcus Cousins: Center+++


Perpetual sourpuss. DeMarcus Cousins is the best player on this team and possibly the best player we've ever had in Sacramento. But because of his outbursts and the team's lack of success, he's extremely polarizing. He'll fill up the stat sheet and dominate the game and the Kings will lose 97-85.

Offensively, Cousins can be a marvel. One of the few players today with an actual post-game. While he has great footwork and balance and quickness on the move, he's more Miami Shaq than Hakeem in the post. While the eye-test will indicate he can shoot from the outside, in practice he takes a bunch of bad shots from there. And it keeps him off the boards, where he is an absolute monster. Cousins has some passing talent but rarely displays it.

Defensively he can run the spectrum from under-appreciated to trainwreck. He's impossible to move down low, cleans up the boards, is great at drawing charges, and has good anticipation. But he slacks off coming back on D and absolutely needs to be hidden on pick-and-rolls.

Trade rumors constantly surround him and he clearly hates being on losing teams. While he's displayed great loyalty to the city of Sacramento, this may be his last season with the team if things continue to be as ugly as ever

Willie Caulie-Stein: Power Forward/Center


One of the lone bright spots for the team last season and like the only good young player we have. The fanbase absolutely loves the man. WCS shows good defensive abilities and traits. He's long and has great speed and lateral quickness. He can switch on pick-and-rolls, defend out to the perimeter, and provide weak-side shot blocking. Defensively, he looks like the perfect complement to Cousins.

Offensively he's pretty raw and basic. He claimed he had a golden stroke from the outside and his form looks ok, but he appears to have no touch and most of his buckets came off cuts, put-backs, and lobs. Which is fine but if he doesn't develop any range things will get crowded with him and Cousins on the floor.

Kosta Koufos: Center--


Bland, boring, and utterly tasteless but will get the job done. Defensively he is solid, both in the post and on PNRs. Offensively he has stone hands and his only go-to move is an ugly half-hook thing. Has absolutely no place on this team anymore with all the other, younger bigs and Vlade is probably shopping him at every opportunity.

Georgios Papagiannis: Pizza Center


Who the hell is this guy? Like, we drafted him 4 months ago and I still don't know who he is. With the #13th pick, the Kings went against conventional wisdom and drafted neither for talent nor for need. Papa John wasn't on most first round mock boards and the ones that had him mocked in their second probably did so only because they thought he was a draft and stash candidate.

Not sure what he really brings to the table. He is still raw so he won't help immediately. And he plays the same position as our best player so it's not like we have the ability to develop and showcase him. Sat out a bunch of Summer League because of knee stiffness (always a good sign) and when he did play he looked terrible. Slow and hesitant in the post and worse than not there on defense. But the man can dance I guess https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y69j7UezkOA

Anthony Tolliver: Stretch Center


Did one thing that launched his career and made him millions of dollars. Tolliver can shoot 3s. Shoot them pretty well for a big man. So because he has 1 trait which is in vogue right now, he's able to hang around the league even though he's an undersized big man who doesn't block shots or rebound all that well. A stretch 4 will open up things for Cousins though, so I'm interested in seeing Joerger manufacture ways to keep him on the floor.

Skal Labissiere: Upside Center


A huge amount of potential and growth with this guy. Until the house of cards comes crashing down and people realize it was all smoke and mirrors. Skal has a couple of things going for him. A beautiful looking shooting stroke, a tease of 3pt range, and the length and quickness to potentially be a disruptive defender. But he has like no basketball IQ and looks like he has no idea where he should be on the court. Offensively has a couple of moves in the post but otherwise looks clueless. Needs to bulk up too as he's pushed around easily. Will hopefully spend all his time in Reno as he needs basketball playing time in the worst way.

Not Centers

Rudy Gay: Small Forward


The one of the last dinosaurs of an era long gone. Rudy is a bit of a throw-back to the basketball dark ages. An offensive wing without much range who prefers to make a living taking tough midrange shots. Rudy has had a hard time finding a place for himself in the league, and part of that is because of how he is viewed and used. He looks the part of a primary scoring option. Long, strong, and athletic. But he has a weak handle and slow first step, so he isn't able to manufacture separation. And he has little in the way of range so defenders don't have to respect his shot. He was best used by Mike Malone as a secondary option and setup things off-the-ball to get him scoring efficiently. Think more of a Peja than a Durant. Get him the ball with a live dribble, off a curl where he gets a step on his defender, or any other way where he's in motion on the pass and he can do well. Dump it to him at the top of the key and tell him to create something and bad things will happen. And he's not a stretch 4 so don't even think about it.

The Kings have been openly shopping Rudy for some time. He makes a reasonable amount this season but will most likely opt out next season, so the Kings probably won't net much for a much maligned wing on the wrong side of 30.

Ben McLemore: Shooting Guard


Ben was once a hot commodity but failed to live up to any of the hype and is now a near worthless asset. Ben looks the part of a good shooting guard. He's athletic and has a sweet looking stroke. But the problem with Ben is consistency. He'll put together a couple of solid games and then disappear for weeks on end. Offensively he can't do much other than spot-up or get some easy points off cuts. Has no handles whatsoever and not a good passer. Defensively he can show good effort but is not what you'd consider a 3 and D guy.

At this point the Kings are in reclamation mode with Ben. But with the team signing a veteran SG, another stashed overseas, and a third just drafted, Ben is clearly the odd man out for the team. Expect him to be traded for nothing during the deadline

Darren Collison: Point Guard


Will be missing time due to domestic abuse. Collison has always reminded me of an Earl Watson type PG. Better than what you need in a backup PG. But if he's your starter you're always looking for an upgrade. Last season was kind of weird for Collison as Karl loved playing him as a SG opposite Rondo. This year he again has the keys to the Kings offense but will miss the first 8 games due to suspension. It seems weird calling Collison a mediocre PG, but there are 20 or so starting PGs I'd take over him. He's quick and has a decent midrange jumper and turned himself into a respectable 3pt shooter. But he's not a great distributor nor is he a great play maker or scorer.

Omri Casspi: Cousins' BFF


Joined at the hip with Cousins. The person DeMarcus trusts the most to go to war with, except for maybe John Wall. Omri is a fan favorite who resigned with Sacramento last season at a drat bargain basement rate. His first stint in Sacramento he was knocked for being a bit of a ballhog and chucker. But his more mature iteration turned into a very efficient scorer who knows his limitations. He's a very good 3pt shooter and also has taken a page from Manu and developed a very nice assortment of step-through and awkward angle floaters around the rim. Surprisingly not what I consider a very good defensive player given his physical traits and feistiness. If Rudy Gay gets moved, expect Casspi to take up the starting SF role.

Matt Barnes: Piece Of Garbage


A basketball troll who gets off on annoying and pissing off all those opposing players around him. Gives two shits about what you think of him. Ok maybe I'm being a little too hard on Sactown's Finest. Barnes is getting up there in age so I'm expecting him to do some hard fouls and take more 3pt shots than he should. Hopefully nothing more than additional forward depth.

Aaron Afflalo: Shooting Guard


Basically coasting off the name he made for himself a long time ago. I actually like Afflalo I just wish we got the version of him that existed 5 years ago. Has a reputation as a good wing defender, but from what I saw last season he's legs are gone and he doesn't stay focused on his man anymore. Offensively he went from an efficient guy to a chucker. McLemore was roasted by fans for not being good enough, but some of Afflalo's advanced offensive numbers aren't that much different. He's here on a low risk, effectively one year deal so he has every incentive to play himself back into a good reputation. Lost his spot in the rotation for Sasha Vujacic of all loving people.

Ty Lawson: Point Guard


Something something about cars and drunk driving. Vlade reclamation PG project #2. Lawson looked terrible last season and I don't see what's different between then and now other than he says he has a chip on his shoulder. He'll have a big opportunity to start the season with Collison out. He is a speedster and I'm interested to see how Joerger can open things up for him with 3 non-shooters on the floor at the same time.

Garrett Temple: Guard


Vlade's biggest money signing this summer. Yeah sure, you can go in big on that I guess cause you're desperate to do something good luck with that. Reputation as a good defender and positive locker room guy. Played himself into this deal by filling in well for Bradley Beal. But he's a 30 year old middling combo guard who is only decent at a couple of things, and we locked him up for 3 years. We already had to sign two reclamation project PGs because our combo guard isn't capable of running the point.

Malachi Richardson: Shooting Guard


Based on his tournament reputation he looks like a great scoring guard and athlete, but when you go looking up the actual numbers they just aren't there. Call me old fashion but I like my SG to be able to shoot the ball. He looks long but also isn't an elite athlete. Basically takes a bunch of bad shots that he shouldn't, either because they aren't good looks or because he isn't able to get the separation he needs. The hope is that you can coach the bad shooting habits out of him, which will probably be hard because Malachi is already referring to himself as someone who can put the ball in the hoop.

Knightman: Security Guard


Robotic security presence which captures crime in stunning HD and runs over lawbreaking toddlers. Was on the scene during the opening game last season, but was mysteriously absent since. Possibly related to me grilling the Knightman engineers on why it had a CD slot, what would happen if I peed on it, and does it feel remorse.

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WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

dokmo posted:

Papagiannis is a lean mean pick and roll machine. Brandan Wright with better defense. He was always going to be a first round pick.

Wrong !!!!! Is lie!!

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

Dejan Bimble posted:

For what its worth everyone who went to the last few eurocamps really liked Papa John, it wasn't a totally crazy move

Detroit was apparently interested in him (and the Boban signing shows they love their giant Euros) and I wonder if bringing in Ken Cantanella helped sway things that way

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001

Ray McCallum is one of those weird cases to me. His rookie year, Malone had to play him 44-48 minutes once Jimmer was waived and the man put up decent stats and looked like a rotation player. But then he turned into a pumpkin for no reason that I can figure out and can't even stick around a team in a D-League capacity.

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