Kicker Eliminator 2016/17 Round Aguayo

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Kicker Eliminator 2016/17 Round Aguayo

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Horse Inspector: Aug 11, 2005; privacy publicly displayed

Because everyone pretty much got knocked out within a couple weeks, the kicker is down to just three people in a war of attrition. Which is kinda lame for everyone else when there is still a whole load of season and post-season to go. So here is round two!

Here are the usual rules!

IcePhoenix posted:

With all the eliminators out there, I wanted to come up with something a little different. Something that can make even the biggest blowout meaningful. So I thought to myself, how about an eliminator that focuses on the most loved and hated guys in football? I've run Kicker Eliminator at another forum for the past few years and most people love it, so I thought I would bring it to all of you. So let's get started with the basics!

The Rules
1: Every week, you pick any kicker in the NFL. Once you pick that kicker, you cannot pick them for the rest of the season.
-1a: To clarify, a "kicker" for the purpose of this game counts as anyone who kicks the ball. You can choose to play a punter, a long FG specialist, or Wes Welker if you want to, but just remember rule 2 when doing so.

2: If that kicker makes every field goal and extra point attempt in their game, you advance. If they miss or do not attempt any field goals or extra points, you are eliminated

3: if every remaining player is eliminated in the same week, they will all advance to the next week

4: In the last three weeks of the season, a kicker may be picked by no more than half the remaining players

5: If no clear winner is determined by the end of week 17, we move to tiebreakers.

Tiebreakers
1 -Longest FG made the entire season from a kicker the week they kicked for you.
2 -Total points of all kickers the week they kicked for you.
3 -Total touchbacks of all kickers the week they kicked for you.
4 -Total points in each individual week, counting backwards (starts in week seventeen and goes back towards week one until the tie is broken).
5 -If it's even possible that I get to this step I'll figure something out and announce it before week 15.

Deadlines and picking your kickers
You must pick your kicker before kickoff of his scheduled game.
You may not edit your posts.
Once a kicker's game has started, he is locked in.
If you want to change your kicker, please do so in a new post with bold and italicized words so I don't miss it. As long as the timestamp is before your previous pick is locked in then it is fine.
Please don't edit posts, period. In the interest of fairness, any edited post that's during a time when a kicker could have been changed I am just going to eliminate you if any possible kicker you could have picked there missed a field goal.
In the interest of keeping things easy for me, please list the team the kicker plays for in your pick.

I'll probably give the winner a prize like an av cert or forums upgrade or something at the end, too.

Good luck!

ADDITIONAL RULE - The Roberto Aguayo High Risk, Low Reward Rule!
If you decide to pick the can't-miss draft of the season and he gets you through, you may bring back one of your dead kickers. HOWEVER you must specify which kicker you will bring back when you pick Roberto i.e. before the game starts. I have no idea if this will be a good or bad idea, but seeing as no one was ever going to pick him early anyway, we may as have him add some late season drama.

Kickers According to Depth Charts I Googled
Arizona Cardinals - Chandler Catanzaro
Chicago Bears - Connor Barth
Dallas Cowboys - Dan Bailey
Green Bay Packers - Mason Crosby
New York Giants - Josh Brown
Detroit Lions - Matt Prater
Washington Racist Names - Dustin Hopkins
Philadelphia Eagles - Caleb Sturgis
Pittsburgh Steelers - Chris Boswell
Los Angeles Rams - Greg Zuerlein
San Francisco 49ers - Phil Dawson
Cleveland Browns - Patrick Murray
Indianapolis Colts - Adam Vinatieri
Kansas City Chiefs - Cairo Santos
San Diego Chargers - Josh Lambo
Denver Broncos - Brandon McManus
New York Jets - Nick Folk
New England Patriots - Stephen Gostkowski
Oakland Raiders - Sebastian Janikowski
Tennessee Titans - Ryan Succop
Buffalo Bills - Dan Carpenter
Minnesota Vikings - Blair Walsh
Atlanta Falcons - Matt Bryant
Miami Dolphins - Andrew Franks
New Orleans Saints - Kai Forbath
Cincinnati Bengals - Mike Nugent
Seattle Seahawks - Stephen Hauschka
Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Roberto Aguayo
Carolina Panthers - Graham Gano
Jacksonville Jaguars - Jason Myers
Baltimore Ravens - Justin Tucker
Houston Texans - Nick Novak

Week One

pre:

wandler20        - Roberto Aguayo         Gobias Ind.     - Dustin Hopkins            Cavauro                - Matt Bryant
Uterine Lineup   - Matt Prater            Athanatos       - Matt Bryant               Metapod                - Ryan Succop 
Brockenstein     - Adam Vinatieri         OxySnake        - Adam Vinatieri            No Butt Stuff          - Stephen Hauschka
IcePhoenix       - Matt Bryant            Dango Bango     - Chandler Catanzaro        Mughe                  - Chris Boswell
Chichevache      - Matt Bryant            Ninja Bob       - Stephen Hauschka          Tom Sellout            - Justin Tucker 
Turdsdown Tom    - Dan Carpenter          latinotwink1997 - Dan Carpenter             fast cars loose anus   - Matt Bryant
axeil            - Dustin Hopkins         WaffleZombie    - Matt Prater               Grittybeard            - Cairo Santos
Qwijib0          - Cairo Santos           Elephanthead    - Cody Parkey               totally losing my mime - Justin Tucker
on the bored wop - Adam Vinatieri         horse inspector - Stephen Gostkowski        Infidel Castro - Stephen Hauschka
corn on the cop  - Stephen Hauschka

Week Two

pre:

Metapod                - Matt Bryant        Brockenstein     - Roberto Aguayo[vin]          OxySnake        - Blair Walsh
Tom Sellout            - Dan Bailey         Turdsdown Tom    - Adam Vinatieri               latinotwink1997 - Roberto Aguayo[car]
Grittybeard            - Caleb Sturgis      Qwijib0          - Adam Vinatieri               Elephanthead    - Nick Novak
totally losing my mime - Matt Bryant        on the bored wop - Roberto Aguayo[vin]

Week Three

pre:

Metapod       - Stephen Hauschka      OxySnake               - TBD                       Tom Sellout - Stephen Hauschka
Turdsdown Tom - Matt Prater           Grittybeard            - Josh Lambo                Qwijib0     - Greg Zuerlein               
Elephanthead  - Adam Vinatieri        totally losing my mime - Roberto Aguayo

Week Four

pre:

Metapod      - TBD                   Tom Sellout            - TBD                       Turdsdown Tom - TBD
Elephanthead - Justin Tucker         totally losing my mime - Justin Tucker

Try for glory one more!

Horse Inspector fucked around with this message at 19:21 on Nov 13, 2016

# ? Oct 19, 2016 20:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 06:05

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

I'm in!

Give me my boy, Roberto Aguayo once again! Lets riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide.

# ? Oct 19, 2016 20:33

Gobias Ind.: Apr 5, 2007; If your girlfriend says hey to me that's our girlfriend now idc

Woooo

I'll take Washington - Dustin Hopkins

# ? Oct 19, 2016 20:46

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Atlanta Falcons - Matt Bryant

# ? Oct 19, 2016 21:27

cosmic gumbo

Mar 26, 2005

IMA

GRIP

SIP

Detroit Lions - Matt Prater

# ? Oct 19, 2016 22:09

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

Atlanta Falcons - Matt Bryant

# ? Oct 19, 2016 22:18

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

Tennessee Titans - Ryan Succop

# ? Oct 19, 2016 22:20

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

Indianapolis Colts - Adam Vinatieri

Maybe I can jinx him into missing before he breaks the drunk kicker's record

# ? Oct 19, 2016 22:23

Paint Crop Pro: Mar 22, 2007; Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.

Indianapolis Colts - Adam Vinatieri

For sure not gonna pick Blair loving walsh.

# ? Oct 19, 2016 22:34

IcePhoenix: Sep 18, 2005; Take me to your Shida

Can I pick Roberto Aguayo and use the Roberto Aguayo rule to make Roberto Aguayo pickable thus allowing me to pick Roberto Aguayo again so that I can use the Roberto Aguayo rule to then resurrect Roberto Aguayo which would allow me to once again select Roberto Aguayo upon which I could use the Roberto Aguayo rule to bring back Roberto Aguayo and...

# ? Oct 20, 2016 16:26

Horse Inspector: Aug 11, 2005; privacy publicly displayed

# ? Oct 20, 2016 18:33

No Butt Stuff: Jun 10, 2004

Seattle Seahawks - Steven Hauschka

# ? Oct 20, 2016 19:17

IcePhoenix: Sep 18, 2005; Take me to your Shida

Horse Inspector posted:

no

then I pick Matt Bryant - Falcons

# ? Oct 20, 2016 20:19

Dango Bango: Jul 26, 2007

Ah hell, I lost in the very first NFL game this year with Gano, so fool me once...

# ? Oct 20, 2016 21:44

Mughe: Mar 17, 2007; I'll tolerate you until I can replace you.

Chris Boswell - Pittsburgh and there's a solid chance FGs are the only points they'll be able to score.

# ? Oct 20, 2016 21:46

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Horse Inspector posted:

ADDITIONAL RULE - The Roberto Aguayo High Risk, Low Reward Rule!
If you decide to pick the can't-miss draft of the season and he gets you through, you may bring back one of your dead kickers. HOWEVER you must specify which kicker you will bring back when you pick Roberto i.e. before the game starts. I have no idea if this will be a good or bad idea, but seeing as no one was ever going to pick him early anyway, we may as have him add some late season drama.

This is an awesome rule, nice touch.

Matt Bryant- ATL

# ? Oct 20, 2016 22:15

Ninja Bob: Nov 20, 2002; Bleak Gremlin

Okay, I'm in.

Steven Hauschka - Seattle

# ? Oct 21, 2016 00:16

Tom Sellout: May 27, 2011; $240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.

Gimme Justin Tucker

# ? Oct 21, 2016 02:06

barnold: Dec 16, 2011; what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

I'll take Dan Carpenter this week. Oh danny boy.....

IcePhoenix posted:

Can I pick Roberto Aguayo and use the Roberto Aguayo rule to make Roberto Aguayo pickable thus allowing me to pick Roberto Aguayo again so that I can use the Roberto Aguayo rule to then resurrect Roberto Aguayo which would allow me to once again select Roberto Aguayo upon which I could use the Roberto Aguayo rule to bring back Roberto Aguayo and...

This wouldn't work anyway because Aguayo would have to be dead in order to be resurrected. Schroedinger's Kicker.

# ? Oct 21, 2016 16:48

latinotwink1997: Jan 2, 2008; Taste my Ball of Hope, foul dragon!

Woooo Dan Carpenter (Bills of course)!!

# ? Oct 22, 2016 02:43

fast cars loose anus: Mar 2, 2007; Pillbug

I shall take Matt Bryant of the Atlanta Falcons for this first week of round two because I think its hilarious a 41 year old man who looks like a substitute teacher is an NFL player

# ? Oct 22, 2016 19:18

axeil: Feb 14, 2006

Even though I'm one of the final three I'll play here too.

Dustin Hopkins - Washington TeamName

# ? Oct 23, 2016 14:15

WaffleZombie: May 10, 2003; "Identity Crisis" Murderer Wild Guess #333:Prince "Lady Killer Charming "Well, I AM the Adversa"

Since I'm sure to lose in the other eliminator this week:

Matt Prater - Lions

# ? Oct 23, 2016 15:34

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

I like to think my failure is the reason this thread exists. Anyway I'll homer it up this week:

Cairo Santos - Chiefs

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:03

Qwijib0: Apr 10, 2007; Who needs on-field skills when you can dance like this?; Fun Shoe

Let's start with:

Cairo Santos

# ? Oct 23, 2016 16:50

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Give me the Browns kicker whoever the hell that is.

Internets say Cody Parker?

Elephanthead fucked around with this message at 17:16 on Oct 23, 2016

# ? Oct 23, 2016 17:14

totally losing my mime: Aug 3, 2012; The quiet can scrape
All the calm from your bones.
But maybe it should.
Maybe we need to be hollowed
To get up and grow,
And stop fucking around,
To kick off our braces and start straightening out; Fun Shoe

axeil posted:

Even though I'm one of the final three I'll play here too.

Dustin Hopkins - Washington TeamName

Justin Tucker - Baltimore Ravens

# ? Oct 23, 2016 17:41

The Wild Man of YOLO: Apr 20, 2004; A little cross-country, gentlemen?

Adam Vinatieri - Indianapolis

# ? Oct 23, 2016 17:42

axeil: Feb 14, 2006

aaand i'm out in week 1 of the 2nd season because i picked the same guy in both seasons like an idiot.

# ? Oct 23, 2016 19:22

Dango Bango: Jul 26, 2007

Dango Bango posted:

Ah hell, I lost in the very first NFL game this year with Gano, so fool me once...

I am dumb and tried to be cute with my pick. Didn't look at the schedule to see Carolina's on a bye this week.

So I'll go with Chandler Catanzaro

# ? Oct 23, 2016 22:14

barnold: Dec 16, 2011; what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

Mughe posted:

Chris Boswell - Pittsburgh and there's a solid chance FGs are the only points they'll be able to score.

thanks for playing

# ? Oct 23, 2016 22:38

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

Oh poo poo another round give me:

Stephen Hauschka - SEA

# ? Oct 23, 2016 23:10

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

Stephen Hauschka - SEA

# ? Oct 23, 2016 23:14

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

welp

# ? Oct 24, 2016 00:19

Mughe: Mar 17, 2007; I'll tolerate you until I can replace you.

Turdsdown Tom posted:

thanks for playing

I blame poor coaching.

# ? Oct 24, 2016 00:48

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Browns bitch I didn't even spell the poor guys name right and he was a colt for a couple weeks.

# ? Oct 24, 2016 01:22

fast cars loose anus: Mar 2, 2007; Pillbug

DAMMIT MATT

# ? Oct 24, 2016 01:45

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Matt Bryant you a bitch

# ? Oct 24, 2016 02:44

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

I'm gonna lose because the Seahawks can't mount a drive of double digit yards.

# ? Oct 24, 2016 03:08

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 06:05

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003

No Butt Stuff posted:

Seattle Seahawks - Steven Hauschka

You just lucked out

# ? Oct 24, 2016 04:15

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > Kicker Eliminator 2016/17 Round Aguayo

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