this pencil on my desk is a PIECE of SHIT

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > this pencil on my desk is a PIECE of SHIT

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this pencil?
	boo, this pencil! ^{^goku}
	yeah, this pencil!

you irl: Jan 22, 2014

maybe you want to keep pencils lovely? :tinfoil:

# ? Nov 23, 2016 13:49

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 15:30

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

In before Rotring, late for peehole chat.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 14:15

MrWillsauce: Mar 19, 2015

I will wreck my urethra but I don't think I can post the pics without getting trouble

# ? Nov 23, 2016 15:35

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

No it's fine do it

# ? Nov 23, 2016 15:36

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

my pencil today is holiday themed it has a picture of a reindeer on it. it is a wooden pencil so that part is ok, but the eraser is hard and just smudges not erase.

dont' make any mistakes lol

ok i wont hahahaha

# ? Nov 23, 2016 15:48

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

JiveHonky posted:

my pencil today is holiday themed it has a picture of a reindeer on it. it is a wooden pencil so that part is ok, but the eraser is hard and just smudges not erase.

dont' make any mistakes lol

ok i wont hahahaha

hey why don't you stop talking poo poo you rear end in a top hat and cough up some pics hmm maybe take a second to stop and remember that the season's about sharing i bet if your mom saw you posting this she'd wish the eraser on her uterus was softer

# ? Nov 23, 2016 15:50

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

cnut posted:

This wouldn't have happened if you had a Pink Pearl, OP.

i'm a dude

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:09

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

social vegan posted:

hey why don't you stop talking poo poo you rear end in a top hat and cough up some pics hmm maybe take a second to stop and remember that the season's about sharing i bet if your mom saw you posting this she'd wish the eraser on her uterus was softer

Trust Me her uterus is plenty soft

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:09

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

social vegan posted:

cum mission

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:24

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

I'm gonna kick that loving pencil's rear end, I can't wait to mangle it

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:24

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

MrWillsauce posted:

I will wreck my urethra but I don't think I can post the pics without getting trouble

I asked the mods and they say it's fine

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:26

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

morning! people in the office are a little shocked by pencil's suicide, but everyone seems to be coping ok.

someone was very happy that i came in early to make coffee and left me a little note

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:35

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

morning! people in the office are a little shocked by pencil's suicide, but everyone seems to be coping ok.

someone was very happy that i came in early to make coffee and left me a little note

What did you do jerry?

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:37

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

Smash it Smash hit posted:

What did you do jerry?

i got in a little early and make coffee so the girls didn't have to. i'm a pretty nice guy irl

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:40

garfield hentai: Feb 29, 2004

heh cute you have to actually make coffee

it's 2016, get a scaly keurig that no one ever cleans

# ? Nov 23, 2016 16:56

Dr. Dogballs Jr.: Jun 9, 2014; the angriest sex machine

i just whipped a lovely pencil out the window and caused a car accident when the stiff as dick eraser punctured a van tire and sent it spinneing into a semi and two other cars theres loving oil all over godamit op

# ? Nov 23, 2016 17:02

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:

i just whipped a lovely pencil out the window and caused a car accident when the stiff as dick eraser punctured a van tire and sent it spinneing into a semi and two other cars theres loving oil all over godamit op

get one berol eagle pencil user on that jury and you'll walk out of there a free woman

# ? Nov 23, 2016 17:06

Dr. Dogballs Jr.: Jun 9, 2014; the angriest sex machine

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

get one berol eagle pencil user on that jury and you'll walk out of there a free woman

on it

# ? Nov 23, 2016 17:22

a mysterious cloak: Apr 5, 2003; Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

i got in a little early and make coffee so the girls didn't have to. i'm a pretty nice guy irl

I'm sure you'd like us all to believe that, psycho

# ? Nov 23, 2016 17:34

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

i am incredibly disturbed to see a human face attached to a something awful poster

# ? Nov 23, 2016 17:38

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

nomadologique posted:

i am incredibly disturbed to see a human face attached to a something awful poster

Sid has also shared his face (along with a "please ban carmant" poster lol) and he is as friendly and pleasant looking as I guessed

# ? Nov 23, 2016 17:40

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

If you know the code, every one of my posts translates into a life-size ASCII printout of my full body, including this one.

My commitment has crippled my posting ability

# ? Nov 23, 2016 17:54

garfield hentai: Feb 29, 2004

criscodisco posted:

If you know the code, every one of my posts translates into a life-size ASCII printout of my full body, including this one.

code:

                ,#####,
                 #_   _#
                 |a` `a|
                 |  u  |
                 \  =  /
                 |\___/|
        ___ ____/:     :\____ ___
      .'   `.-===-\   /-===-.`   '.
     /      .-"""""-.-"""""-.      \
    /'             =:=             '\
  .'  ' .:    o   -=:=-   o    :. '  `.
  (.'   /'. '-.....-'-.....-' .'\   '.)
  /' ._/   ".     --:--     ."   \_. '\
 |  .'|      ".  ---:---  ."      |'.  |
 |  : |       |  ---:---  |       | :  |
  \ : |       |_____._____|       | : /
  /   (       |----|------|       )   \
 /... .|      |    |      |      |. ...\
|::::/'' jgs /     |       \     ''\::::|
'""""       /'    .L_      `\       """"'
           /'-.,__/` `\__..-'\
          ;      /     \      ;
          :     /       \     |
          |    /         \.   |
          |`../           |  ,/
          ( _ )           |  _)
          |   |           |   |
          |___|           \___|
          :===|            |==|
           \  /            |__|
           /\/\           /"""`8.__
           |oo|           \__.//___)
           |==|
           \__/

whoa drat

# ? Nov 23, 2016 17:58

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

garfield hentai posted:

code:

                ,#####,
                 #_   _#
                 |a` `a|
                 |  u  |
                 \  =  /
                 |\___/|
        ___ ____/:     :\____ ___
      .'   `.-===-\   /-===-.`   '.
     /      .-"""""-.-"""""-.      \
    /'             =:=             '\
  .'  ' .:    o   -=:=-   o    :. '  `.
  (.'   /'. '-.....-'-.....-' .'\   '.)
  /' ._/   ".     --:--     ."   \_. '\
 |  .'|      ".  ---:---  ."      |'.  |
 |  : |       |  ---:---  |       | :  |
  \ : |       |_____._____|       | : /
  /   (       |----|------|       )   \
 /... .|      |    |      |      |. ...\
|::::/'' jgs /     |       \     ''\::::|
'""""       /'    .L_      `\       """"'
           /'-.,__/` `\__..-'\
          ;      /     \      ;
          :     /       \     |
          |    /         \.   |
          |`../           |  ,/
          ( _ )           |  _)
          |   |           |   |
          |___|           \___|
          :===|            |==|
           \  /            |__|
           /\/\           /"""`8.__
           |oo|           \__.//___)
           |==|
           \__/

whoa drat

Holy poo poo looking good

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:00

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

Yeah I've cut carbs before the holidays.

Also goddamn is garfield hentai a great name

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:01

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

It really is, I don't know if he changed it lately because I don't remember seeing it before but it's a top notch name

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:03

garfield hentai: Feb 29, 2004

thank you also i've made probably ten posts total from 2004-2015

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:08

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

I refuse to believe a name that good came out of that name change thread if so there's a whole mess a goons should be mad about what they got

Edit: oh so that solves it

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:09

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

garfield hentai posted:

thank you also i've made probably ten posts total from 2004-2015

Bless you please post more ! 😘

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:11

Code Jockey: Jan 24, 2006; 69420 basic bytes free

criscodisco posted:

Also goddamn is garfield hentai a great name

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:11

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

got back from a meeting and checked this thread for updates when i found this. i'm not very good at office pranks, does anyone know what this means? :confused:

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:42

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

criscodisco posted:

Also goddamn is garfield hentai a great name

they said hentai in westworld and i learned that it's pronounced hen-tie not hen-tay and also i was reassured to know it will still be a thing in the future

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:44

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

jerry i care about ur well being and I'm willing to offer u an exclusive position as the 15th member of the PEN club, we can protect u

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:46

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

social vegan posted:

jerry i care about ur well being and I'm willing to offer u an exclusive position as the 15th member of the PEN club, we can protect u

cool is there some kind of initiation ceremony?

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:47

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

Jerry Mumphrey posted:

cool is there some kind of initiation ceremony?

heh yeah, u gotta write PEN and then ur position number after it with premanent marker on the back of ur hand heh heh

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:48

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

Pencil homicide is serious business.

# ? Nov 23, 2016 18:57

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

Stay vigilant OP... :ninja:

# ? Nov 23, 2016 19:01

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

social vegan posted:

heh yeah, u gotta write PEN and then ur position number after it with premanent marker on the back of ur hand heh heh

# ? Nov 23, 2016 19:05

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Was just looking up my totinos party pizza guy in my Rolodex and saw this

Hm

# ? Nov 23, 2016 19:23

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 15:30

garfield hentai: Feb 29, 2004

looks like you're off the hook, good thing cuz trials take a really long time/boring/they don't let you bring your phone into the courtroom unless you're an attorney

edit i meant for the trial thing you're probably in trouble for that other thing being killed is even more unpleasant than court afaik

edit2 i like that you have a rolodex it shows you as a man of class and character and good organizational skills to boot

garfield hentai fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Nov 23, 2016

# ? Nov 23, 2016 19:23

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > this pencil on my desk is a PIECE of SHIT

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