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"gently caress!" Your head breaks your fall as you roll off the bed. There's a ringing in your ears as you try to stand up and orient yourself. Okay okay. Lets get it together. You grab yesterday's paper and look down at it to get your bearings as you walk around for circulation. What's it say, your vision is a little blurry? It is... A) December 6th, 1926 B) August 7th, 1972 C) November 18th, 2008 D) February 19th, 2018 in E) Washington F) New York G) Boston
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Nov 26, 2016 17:33
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AF
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Nov 26, 2016 19:52
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AG
AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Nov 26, 2016 |
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Nov 26, 2016 20:29
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BG
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Nov 26, 2016 20:39
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DE
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Nov 26, 2016 20:53
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Seconding this. It stands for 'Ah gently caress' which seems to sum up our mental state.
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Nov 26, 2016 20:58
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AG
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Nov 26, 2016 23:27
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BG
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Nov 27, 2016 00:19
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Just noting that AF lets us get to do Our Thing, if yknowwhatimean. Ah, fuggedaboutit
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Nov 27, 2016 00:35
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quote:A) December 6th, 1926 Ah, The Times from December 5th. You bought it yesterday morning at your regular place but you forgot to read it, instead deciding to party with an old friend who was screening some Soviet movie. Battleship something. You got real drunk on some not so cheap medicinal whiskey (to treat your chronic boredom of course) and ended up back at your place after a few less than medicinal bottles. There's a ringing in your head that all of a sudden you can hear like normal. *RIIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIING* The telephone is almost off the hook at the desk. You groan verbally knowing it's probably none-other than... A) your editor, about to wreck the one week of vacation you've had this miserable year by assigning you a story. B) another investor or wannabe mafioso giving you trouble over that real estate project you're running. C) someone calling to whoever happens to own this place. Ashcan Pete promised you this place would be vacant for another couple of weeks but this wouldn't be the first time that rear end in a top hat led your wrong. D) a lead for work, hopefully not another godawful divorce case, maybe something a bit more exciting like Insurance fraud or a missing person. E) Donnie with an inside tip on an investment, gotta spend money to make money!
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Nov 27, 2016 01:22
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C, curse that bimbo Ashcan Pete
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Nov 27, 2016 02:33
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Battle Royale Baby posted:C, curse that bimbo Ashcan Pete seconded
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Nov 27, 2016 02:35
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Ashcan is a drat bastard! *RIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIING* The phone won't stop. You don't want to lose your free place, gotta do something fast. A) Answer phone as fast as possible "Hello, how may I help you?" B) Search the desk for something useful. C) Grab everything in plain site that fits in your road bag and RUN. D) I don't have to do poo poo. Ignore it until it stops.
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Nov 27, 2016 02:53
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D. It's what Ashcan would've wanted. 
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Nov 27, 2016 03:21
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D, the Gooniest of answers.
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Nov 27, 2016 03:23
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DivineCoffeeBinge posted:D, the Gooniest of answers.
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Nov 27, 2016 03:25
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It takes a solid five minutes which feels like an eternity, however the ringing DOES stop eventually. What now? A) Load up everything that looks expensive fast and run out. B) You got time. Really search through this place. Hell, there's a safe in the corner. C) Go outside the apartment and look around, listen to see how many people are home or what's happening. D) Call the operator and ask who just tried to connect to you. E) Get a bath, shave, get dressed in your unknowing hosts finest apparel, and get ready to go to your normal lunch spot.
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Nov 27, 2016 03:45
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AC
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Nov 27, 2016 04:09
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A
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Nov 27, 2016 04:51
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A also I think we look like either of these guys:  e: Guy on the right actually, the left may be that mook Ashcan Pete
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Nov 27, 2016 04:56
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quote:A You grab everything there is to grab that looks expensive. You grab two wool coats, a gold pocket watch, a silver pocket watch, a chandelier, genuine silverware, and a "portable" typewriter. That safe tempts you but it will still be there...hopefully quote:C You have your sack and you slowly creep out into the hallway, listening for what you can. The adjacent places all look vacant. You walk down the stairs and clear the hallway, As you hit the next flight of stairs, you turn the corner and make your way to the front door. Behind you the stairs to go up, next to them stairs leading down. A) Check out what's happening down the stairs. B) Leave the front door and make your way to your local fence. C) Raid the mailbox for the complex and THEN make your way to the local fence. Will take some time.
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Nov 27, 2016 05:14
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B, lets not get greedy
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Nov 27, 2016 05:16
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B
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Nov 27, 2016 05:25
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As a "Bird in the hand" kind of guy you know when to call it quits and cash out. *** The street is full today and the city is moving and alive. Despite the blizzard a few days ago, things are finally back to normal. You make your way to your favorite fence, 'Honest' Joe. The honest part is meant more as an insult than anything else  You make your way inside and Joe takes a long drag from his Cigar. You place the bag on his counter and be begins getting to it. "Ah, here we go." He looks at each item and goes through it. "Well, for the typewriter, I'll give you 30, which is the most I've ever given out for any typewriter. This baby is brand new, german engineering." he knocks on it real hard. "Hear that? Aluminum AND hollow. This thing would weigh 10 pounds more if it was just a normal continental. I'll buy for 30, sell for 40." He looks through the rest. "For the Chandelier, the gold watch, the typewriter, and the silverware I'll give you an even hundred. I'm not taking that silver watch. Take it or leave it." 100 bucks is a pretty awesome haul in your eyes and you have 93 cents to your name right now. A) Take it B) Leave it C) Take it only if he gives you his cigar.
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Nov 27, 2016 06:20
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C, but two cigars
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Nov 27, 2016 06:27
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A. Never put another man's cigar in your mouth.
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Nov 27, 2016 06:36
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"Tell ya what Joe, I'll take that 100 if you pile on those two cigars I see in your pocket there. I imagine they're for tonight but I'm making you a rich man today." Joe is clearly pissed and pulls out the two cigars and lets them fall to the class case below for you to pick up. You've clearly pissed him off. He pulls out 100 dollars in ones and fives and takes everything back. He looks right back at you and says... A) "You know what Jack? This is why you're a god drat loser. All those muscles on a tall man like you who won't go down, but you're a greedy little jerk, and the irony is your greed will keep you in rags the rest of your life." B) "You just don't get it, do you Jack? You're smart and observant, you see things others don't all the while pretending to be the fool but the reality is you're ahead. If you had an ounce of moral backbone you'd be running this god forsaken city. No matter how smart you are, you are too dumb to know that trust is worth its wait in gold and you just don't care about trust do you?" C) "gently caress off Jack. If you spent half a day using those charms to get a job selling something you wouldn't be such a poor vagrant. I've never met another man with a silver tongue who simultaneously failed both at being a gentleman AND wealthy. Somehow you've failed both." and with that you leave, but where to? D) Go to your normal diner for coffee and lunch, Pete might be there. E) I'm RICH! Let's eat like it! F) Go to the race tracks. The only thing better than 100 dollars is a thousand! mugrim fucked around with this message at 06:49 on Nov 27, 2016 |
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Nov 27, 2016 06:42
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C, F Charming vagabond with a gambling problem sure sounds like a winner to me!
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Nov 27, 2016 06:45
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BF because hey we DO have the brains to run this town
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Nov 27, 2016 07:01
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Need a tiebreaker.
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Nov 27, 2016 07:48
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BD
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Nov 27, 2016 08:43
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quote:B - You're clever and survive by your wits.
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Nov 27, 2016 16:30
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"You take care now Joe!" Joe shakes his fist at you as you light up the first cigar. You hop on the bus to start your trek to Jersey to make some REAL money. The bus is pretty empty right now, save one portly nervous man. He can't stop looking at his watch or his plain suitcase and he's sweating like it's Mid August. He doesn't look great to you, he might be sick. A) Offer the man some help, see if you can find an angle on him. B) Ignore him C) Yell at the bus driver that something's wrong with him.
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Nov 27, 2016 16:41
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A Wanna know what's in that bag.
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Nov 27, 2016 16:46
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You walk right up to the man and offer him help from an adjacent seat. "You okay sir? You don't look good." He looks over to you and fakes a smile. "Sorry, first day on the job, just nervous." He grabs his left arm to calm himself down a bit. "I'm a courier but my auto broke down. Now I have to go all over this city in a bus and I don't know if I'll make it in time..." He squeezes his arm. He's maybe 45, 50 years old but definitely looks wealthy. He seems to spend more time grooming his mustache than anything else. He observes you just as you watch him, and sizes you up. He clearly realizes you're poor at the moment but you have all your teeth and seem fit. He changes his stance a little and is seemingly worried about you. "I'd offer you some paid work to assist me but unfortunately I'm not allowed to for this. I might have work for you in the future though..." He hands you a card - "Donald's Courier Express - We Get There So You Don't Have To" A) The bus is about to stop. Take the bag and run, there's no way this dude can outrun you. He's sweating bullets just sitting down on a bus in December. B) Tell him he can break the rules this ONE time and let you help them, afterall, a courier who can't deliver on time isn't much of a courier right? His employer wants the job done and as long as they don't find out someone helped who cares? C) Poke and prod at him to find out what you're dealing with. D) Pull out your silver pocketwatch and check the time as a subtle lie to show you're not as poor as you look. E) Try and Ferris Bueller him: Invite him to the tracks with you, try and convince him life is short and if he's taking it this seriously he's missing what it's all about.
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Nov 27, 2016 17:44
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D before B Not going to rob him, since we don't know who the package is for...
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Nov 27, 2016 18:41
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You pull out your pocketwatch and check the time, making sure to give the crown a turn to wind the thing so you'll have audible ticking once it's out of your pocket. "Ah, I got time to help you good sir. Listen, it's your first day of your new business and you can't fail, you've only just started. You CAN NOT fail today and you know it." You see his face critical, as if he's suspicious of your motives. "Now I run a variety of small enterprises, all legit of course, and occasionally I have need of a courier. I'll help you today but once we're done, how about I get the friends rate for making sure your business stays afloat?" Of course you don't have a variety of small enterprises (at least ones that are 'legit') but you've definitely gained his trust. gently caress Joe, I can gain trust any time I want. He looks at you and puts out his right hand. "Donald, Donald Adler" You shake it vigorously and stare at him waiting for further instruction. "Ah yes, right. My employer asked for absolute security and that only I deliver these, if anyone asks use my name but try not to say anything at all. You may ONLY deliver to the people on the envelope, their servers may not receive them on their behalf. I would uh..." He looks away from you "I would recommend shaving your beard though. Go to a barbers and do it quick. Otherwise the hoity toity types might not respond" He grabs his arm again, probably out of nerves. He's clearly not used to awkward situations. Your bag is empty, and he hands you six envelopes all with names and addresses. They all have a foil seal on them of some kind. marking that they've been closed. "Meet me at the address on my card and lets talk more than. It's a studio office above a diner, and there's no kids or a wife or anything and I never have guests, though hopefully all that changes if I do right by today. The key is under the mat in front if I'm not back yet. You're really doing me a solid here." He grabs one from the bottom and puts it on top of the stack. "This one is actually coming up. Do you want to trade with me and stay on the bus or deliver this one so I can stay on and get the next?" A) Stay on the bus, let him get out and do it so you can get far away from him. B) Get off the bus and then make your plans from here. You're at a place you know and feel good about it.
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Nov 27, 2016 19:20
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A Don't start laughing our asses off until the bus is out of view.
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Nov 27, 2016 23:47
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You watch intently as the bus begins to pull away and he walks up to the door. You're almost out of viewing distance of him when you notice something. He grabs his left arm again with all his might, and falls to the ground, his briefcase flying by him. You're far enough away you can get some distance if you want to, but you could grab the bell and stop the bus. Donald doesn't seem to be moving at all anymore, his arms don't even twitch. A) Stop the bus, go see what is happening. B) Nope Nope Nope, I want nothing to do with this, let's keep going to the tracks. C) Look at all the envelopes, go through them
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Nov 28, 2016 00:54
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A. He has loot on him too.
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Nov 28, 2016 01:15
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