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basically what the thread title says by "major" I mean like, not some lovely bespoke dog treat startup company, I mean bigger poo poo like uber speaking of: uber is the company I pick to die but not for the reason you think: they'll actually get a major windfall when the economy collapses and people need to find new work and sign up in droves, which causes cab companies in smaller cities (ie: NOT nyc or whatever) to go out of business, uber briefly holds a near-monopoly on the transportation market in some cities but as so many people turn to companies like uber to try to make the ends meet none of those people will be able to make enough money to even pay for gas as the sheer volume of labor competition causes uber's pricing algorithms to push fare prices lower and lower, their market share will bloat as prices drop so much that it briefly becomes cheaper to hire an uber than to drive your own car, and then the drivers will all quickly abandon their short-lived careers as uber drivers and the company's valuation bottoms out over night like the time the dutch went bonkers for tulips, except with cars that drive you home from the weed store so your idiot baby rear end doesn't even have to wait thirty minutes to get high this isn't limited to start ups I just picked uper because they will probably have a funny death and will probably be the first "major startup" to die at the start of the new tech collapse
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Jan 16, 2017 16:43
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in before someone says "america lol"
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Jan 16, 2017 16:43
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You can smoke weed and then drive a car op. It's a fun thing to do.
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Jan 16, 2017 16:44
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SpaceGoku posted:basically what the thread title says Uber has never turned a profit. Like it lost a couple BILLION last year and has no actual path to making money. Anyway my vote is Apple Computers Inc. or whatever their official name is. You can only rip people off so many times before they quit buying cell phones and nothing else that company makes is worth a goddamn. edit: also Chrysler (again)
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Jan 16, 2017 17:16
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the United States of America why: donald trump
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Jan 16, 2017 17:23
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SpaceGoku posted:in before someone says "america lol" poo poo ahahaha posted b4 reading the replies gg wp
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Jan 16, 2017 17:23
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Peanut President posted:Uber has never turned a profit. Like it lost a couple BILLION last year and has no actual path to making money. I hope Uber collapses and is replaced with a not for profit worker-owned application that provides the same function but skims less money off the top.
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Jan 16, 2017 17:24
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any1 say the usa
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Jan 16, 2017 17:25
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Best Buy or any number of department stores. I was in an Elder Beerman recently to return Christmas presents and the place felt like a crypt
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Jan 16, 2017 17:31
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it is going to definitely be Sears, since they had to recently take money from the ceo's mutual fund or something,it was like $700 million to keep the company afloat
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Jan 16, 2017 17:43
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The Kingfish posted:I hope Uber collapses and is replaced with a not for profit worker-owned application that provides the same function but skims less money off the top. Yeah good one. More like here's this crazy new company that's sweeping the nation called "Tacksie" that lets you call a personal car whenever you want!!! It's valued at 70 billion dollars!
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Jan 16, 2017 17:48
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uber probably will (and should) get crushed by labor laws retail in general is in baaaaad shape, e-commerce is robbing them blind, so expect a ton of big names to go under the jobs they create will also disappear and not be replaced with anything THe US economy in general may very well slow a bit, and that'll cause companies on the edge to flip, whoever the gently caress they are
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Jan 16, 2017 17:52
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Peanut President posted:Uber has never turned a profit. Like it lost a couple BILLION last year and has no actual path to making money. they have like the largest reserves of any company
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Jan 16, 2017 17:57
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Here are the companies that have an ~0% chance of dying: Amazon Apple Google/Alphabet Most of the Military Industrial Dodads Pfizer & all the big Pharma guys in general Oil Guys
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Jan 16, 2017 18:05
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Companies: All German car manufacturers. Cause of death: Trump https://twitter.com/SamCoatesTimes/status/821003099850600449
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Jan 16, 2017 18:08
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something awful, llc.
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Jan 16, 2017 18:16
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Ein cooler Typ posted:something awful, llc.
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Jan 16, 2017 18:16
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whoever puts out the most efficient car, for its horrendous crime of being Low Energy 
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Jan 16, 2017 18:23
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Ein cooler Typ posted:something awful, llc.
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Jan 16, 2017 18:23
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Biotechs, vrx and theranos are the big ones
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Jan 16, 2017 18:30
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whoa theranos is still open? every time im reminded of that i get a little hopeful for my own skillz at bullshittin 
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Jan 16, 2017 18:37
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i want trump to cyberbully a major multinational corporation to death
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Jan 16, 2017 18:43
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Buzzfeed, which is a failing pile of garbage.
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Jan 16, 2017 18:45
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Boosted_C5 posted:Buzzfeed, which is a failing pile of garbage. d o n t s i g n y o u r p o s t s
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Jan 16, 2017 19:12
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deadgoon posted:i want trump to cyberbully a major multinational corporation to death
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Jan 16, 2017 19:42
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deadgoon posted:i want trump to cyberbully a major multinational corporation to death United States of America, LLC counts right
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Jan 16, 2017 21:08
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Peanut President posted:Uber has never turned a profit. Like it lost a couple BILLION last year and has no actual path to making money. You are stupid
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Jan 16, 2017 23:21
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Peanut President posted:Uber has never turned a profit. Like it lost a couple BILLION last year and has no actual path to making money. that's why I picked them, they're gonna look like they will finally start making money and everything will be okay adn then lmao nope welcome to trumps america sucker
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Jan 16, 2017 23:24
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mrbradlymrmartin posted:whoa theranos is still open? They halved they workforce in Jan http://www.businessinsider.com/theranos-layoffs-cutting-41-percent-staff They had 340 layoffs back in October mainly for their lab and manufacturing staff. The more recent layoffs are for the startup campus staff Also in addition to all the other court cases, they company is now being sued by the Arizona AG over the faulty medical test results
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Jan 16, 2017 23:25
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etalian posted:They halved they workforce in Jan oh yeah i dont imagine ill ever like, be associated with them just as a bullshit artist, they are a real inspiration 
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Jan 16, 2017 23:31
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crazy cloud posted:poo poo ahahaha posted b4 reading the replies gg wp lmao gotcha
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Jan 16, 2017 23:33
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Regular Nintendo posted:You are stupid Apple probably won't fail but he's right to call them out as a company that's gonna eat poo poo because they have made themselves into a luxury brand entirely held aloft by conspicuous consumption and their product quality has been dropping over the past few years combine that with the dramatic increase in prices after trump decides "Yeah, 35% tarrifs for everything" and china tells him "lmao eat poo poo you piss moron" and suddenly the next iphone is $5000 with a 4 year contract
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Jan 16, 2017 23:40
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Regular Nintendo posted:You are stupid I know, Chrysler is owned by Fiat, they are much better owners than Cerberus Capital was Sears is apparently run by an Objectivist finance bro who believes making departments fight each other for resources, so Sears Also this dude only ever appears via teleconference, so I think he may be the creation of an evil hacker
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Jan 16, 2017 23:57
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kill facebook please
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Jan 16, 2017 23:58
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definitely sears yeah and radioshack will prolly beat them to the grave
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Jan 17, 2017 00:01
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colleges in general
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Jan 17, 2017 00:01
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How long before we find out the Sears CEO doesn't actually exist and is just a brutal satire by a performance art collective
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Jan 17, 2017 00:06
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Chwoka posted:colleges in general The education system after it is fully privatized
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Jan 17, 2017 00:07
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H.P. Hovercraft posted:definitely sears yeah I thought RadioShack already bit the dust? but if I'm going to give a prediction, I would have to say another conspicuous consumer product that's trying to milk fees for installation and upkeep of its commercial products through ironclad terms and DRM claims against self-repair no, not Apple!!! I'm talking about John Deere! Victory Position has issued a correction as of 00:37 on Jan 17, 2017 |
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Jan 17, 2017 00:33
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A health insurance company or two if the following happens (ranked by both sequence and least to most absurd): A) they actually replace Obamacare B) they actually get rid of the individual mandate C) said plan actually meets trumps scatterbrained response of every citizen in the country getting insurance without a noticeable decreahahahahaha I'm sorry I cant but seriously the healthcare industry is going to explode or buckle under its own weight
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Jan 17, 2017 00:34
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