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Squashing Machine
Jul 5, 2005

I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka
I've thought long and hard on this subject.

1) It's dog semen
The prevailing theory. However, there are many problems with this theory. As Garfield is at least a family-friendly comic strip, if not expressly produced for the consumption of children, then why would Jim Davis expect his audience to know that it's a cup full of semen or to even know what semen is? Additionally, why would the semen be stored at room temperature in an open container? Was Liz planning on artificially inseminating a dog immediately after giving Garfield his checkup and just letting the semen warm up in the meantime? Finally, ingesting semen does not cause dogs or humans to become pregnant. Totally bogus.

2) It's medicine for pregnant dogs
Somewhat more plausible. Despite the same questions raised over Liz storing the liquid in an open, unrefrigerated container, it's possible that it could be some sort of medication or nutritional supplement, also implied by Liz specifically saying that Jon was going to have a litter of "healthy" puppies.

3) It's cold coffee and Liz is loving with Jon
Jon says it's a "cup of coffee," and from the angle he should be able to see it's a black or brown liquid. Drinking unexpectedly cold coffee could cause the reaction Jon displays in the third panel, because people generally find room-temperature coffee to be unpleasant. And, historically, Liz has regarded Jon with a kind of withering amusement, and it would fit with her character to make up something to shock and humiliate him.

4) Jim Davis doesn't know how babies are made
Jim Davis has made a media empire out of the comedic and artistic equivalent of unflavored yogurt. He's a dim, simple man who tapped into the collective consciousness of a dim, simple people. It's entirely possible that he has no concept of how puppies are conceived. Maybe the joke makes complete sense to Jim. Maybe Garfield operates in an alternate reality where insemination is not only possible orally, but across genders and species. If nothing else, Jim Davis is likely some kind of sex pervert. Just look at how the lady with spiders for eyes is posed. She's practically presenting. She reads as the kind of sexual freak who would leave a coffee cup full of dog cum just sitting around her workspace. Maybe she jacked off Odie immediately before Garfield's appointment. The fact that this comic strip---which has haunted me ever since I read it in Garfield: Life in the Fat Lane: His 28th Book as a child---still runs in syndication is a cruel joke. When Jim Davis is finally tried and executed for corrupting the nation's youth, I hope that there's huge crowd of spectators and that they greet him with howls of execration.

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Squashing Machine
Jul 5, 2005

I mean boning, the wild mambo, the hunka chunka

Clamps McGraw posted:

This is a p good start towards a PhD thesis tbh

Yeah, I probably could at least get a BuzzFeed Garfield article out of it

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