ITT it's the first time we go online

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT it's the first time we go online

AEMINAL: May 22, 2015; barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf

whoa! an n64 emulator!! only 15 dollars and they take VISA?? DAAAD!

*prints out lovely 40 page gamefaq on inkjet printer* *obsessively browses bestcheats for kewl new hacks*

*most pornographic content witnessed in '99 remains half a boob from a medical site*

*finds another 10 year old boy on ICQ named WARIO-something to chat about nintendo games with, becomes good e-friends and doesn't get groomed*

*trusts anything written in the exciting .html format blindly*

*tries to find a live satellite CIA site for hours only to find some shoddy blurry siberia flyover sat. map, still calls parents over in awe*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:39

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 18, 2024 06:05

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

*jacks off to the half a boob picture*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:40

pretty good aggro deck: Dec 31, 2007; Extinct!

*goes on the internet and sees this picture*

*leaves internet*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:40

AEMINAL: May 22, 2015; barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf

*is blown away by the sheer speed of 56K compared to the pedestrian 36k*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:41

Chumbawumba4ever97: Dec 31, 2000; by Fluffdaddy

"hmmmm, so what should I do?"

*Types AOL keyword: boobs*

"didn't work. Dammit. "

*logs off and plays outside*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:42

AEMINAL: May 22, 2015; barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf

*uses full name and birthdate as nickname*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:42

Justin Godscock: Oct 12, 2004; Listen here, funnyman!

*gets groomed by an online pedophile*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:43

Libelous Slander: May 1, 2009; ... you're just creepy ...

Nooner posted:

*jacks off to the half a boob picture*

Gotta say same in this situation

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:57

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

*downloads more memory*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 00:59

That Robot: Sep 16, 2004; ask me anything about robots; Buglord

*recites cliched memes from 10 years ago like "the cake is a lie" and "the game" at random; also chatters about spurdo spade and doge*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 01:01

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

*fails to groom OP, heads down to the local arcade instead *

# ? Feb 25, 2017 01:07

Sponge Baathist: Jan 30, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

"This person sent me a link that ends in 'hello.jpg'. It must be the welcome package."

# ? Feb 25, 2017 01:10

nigga crab pollock: Mar 26, 2010; by Lowtax

Sponge Baathist posted:

"This person sent me a link that ends in 'hello.jpg'. It must be the welcome package."

# ? Feb 25, 2017 01:14

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3: Nov 15, 2003

What didCaptain Kirk find in the toilet? The captains log! Hahaha There's a million of them!

# ? Feb 25, 2017 01:18

Maya Fey: Jan 22, 2017

*sits at the computer and stays there for the next 20 years*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 01:43

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

beep boop im in da infromation superhighway beep beeep click whirrrrrrrrrr beep

# ? Feb 25, 2017 01:45

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

hello i am typing a message lol you are seeing this message, no?

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:21

Michaellaneous: Oct 30, 2013

Are you connected to the internet?

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:35

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

let me check the cord one more time, but its a tangled mess under my desssss'k lol

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:36

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

*is about to post something but then just lurks for the next 3 years*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:37

Bareback Werewolf: Oct 5, 2013; ~*blessed by the algorithm*~

*yells from bedroom* MOM UNPLUG THE PHONE, I'M GOING ON THE INTERNET

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:39

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

*finds Usenet posts on AOL*

*posts Me Too!!*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:42

Samuel L. ACKSYN: Feb 29, 2008

*slowly typing* mortal kombat sonya naked

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:43

Samuel L. ACKSYN: Feb 29, 2008

*searches yahoo for winzip 4 serial*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:44

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

*Sets Free Agent to download from alt.binaries.mp3 and leaves for work*

*Has almost one full album downloaded after getting home from 10 hour shift*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:44

Samuel L. ACKSYN: Feb 29, 2008

* prints out "HoW 2 pHuCk Up Ur ScHoOl, hopes mom doesn't look at what im printing*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:45

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

i found a katana on ebay for 99 cents

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:46

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

*knocks over stack of free AOL cds*

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:51

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

Types YouTube.com into Netscape 2.0 and waits patiently.

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:51

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

I'm downloading and meticulously archiving every pic and fanfic from every power rangers fan site

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:52

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

Im OnLine

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:53

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

Going to download some porn pics from google images so I can jerk it in a few hours

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:53

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Carmant posted:

Going to download some porn pics from google images so I can jerk it in a few hours

from where?

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:54

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

Smythe posted:

from where?

Google images

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:54

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Carmant posted:

Google images

????????????????????????

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:55

mom and dad fight a lot: Sep 21, 2006; If you count them all, this sentence has exactly seventy-two characters.

hangs out in a chat room

mom picks up phone, have to reconnect

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:55

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

Smythe posted:

????????????????????????

I was born in the 90s so google iamges was a thing when I first went online, I'm roleplaying

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:55

Shaquin: May 12, 2007

fuckin willenials

# ? Feb 25, 2017 02:56

Smythe: Oct 12, 2003

Dialing in to on line and posting about the god drat Xbox having the mother loving wrong RAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

# ? Feb 25, 2017 03:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 18, 2024 06:05

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Hiyo frisco!

# ? Feb 25, 2017 03:01

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > ITT it's the first time we go online

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