2016 NFL Season Redux

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2016 NFL Season Redux

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MrLogan: Feb 4, 2004; Ask me about Derek Carr's stolen MVP awards, those dastardly refs, and, oh yeah, having the absolute worst fucking gimmick in The Football Funhouse.

Ehud posted:

It's funny how this thread is the most exciting football thing for like the next three months

I am going to an arena football game on Saturday. I don't know how to feel about this.

# ? May 9, 2017 00:22

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:10

incompetent: Jun 4, 2013

a neat cape posted:

Patriots 0-2 (0-1)

I think you're rigging the sim so the Pats go 0-16. :colbert:

# ? May 9, 2017 17:29

sean10mm: Jun 29, 2005; It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

incompetent posted:

I think you're rigging the sim so the Pats go 0-16.

We secretly replaced Bill Belichck with Rod Rust, will they notice the difference?

# ? May 9, 2017 17:32

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

incompetent posted:

I think you're rigging the sim so the Pats go 0-16.

Turns out the Pats are garbage without noted cheater and suspended jerk Tom Brady

# ? May 9, 2017 17:49

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Fun fact I forgot to take out Brady both weeks so far and had to re-sim those games. With Brady in, the Pats destroyed both weeks

# ? May 9, 2017 17:50

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

a neat cape posted:

Fun fact I forgot to take out Brady both weeks so far and had to re-sim those games. With Brady in, the Pats destroyed both weeks

listen to me

We are winning this fake division

# ? May 9, 2017 20:18

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Week Three :siren:

Texans 20, Patriots 9
Cardinals 41, Bills 31
Titans 17, Raiders 14
Washington 30, Giants 19
Dolphins 38, Browns 20
Ravens 17, Jaguars 13
Lions 28, Packers 23
Bengals 38, Broncos 13
Vikings 17, Panthers 13
Rams 20, Bucs 14
Seahawks 23, 49ers 20
Jets 20, Chiefs 13
Colts 47, Chargers 24
Steelers 34, Eagles 17
Bears 41, Cowboys 40 :siren:

Game of the Week :siren:

Falcons 45, Saints 28

AFC East:

Dolphins 3-0 (1-0)
Bills 1-2 (1-0)
Jets 1-2 (0-1)
Patriots 0-3 (0-1)

AFC North:

Ravens 3-0 (1-0)
Steelers 2-1 (1-0)
Bengals 2-1 (0-1)
Browns 0-3 (0-1)

AFC South:

Titans 3-0 (0-0)
Jaguars 1-2 (0-0)
Colts 1-2 (0-0)
Texans 1-2 (0-0)

AFC West:

Chiefs 2-1 (1-0)
Broncos 1-2 (0-0)
Raiders 0-3 (0-0)
Chargers 0-3 (0-1)

NFC East:

Redskins 2-1 (1-1)
Giants 1-2 (1-1)
Cowboys 1-2 (1-1)
Eagles 1-2 (0-0)

NFC North:

Bears 3-0 (0-0)
Lions 2-1 (1-0)
Packers 2-1 (1-1)
Vikings 1-2 (0-1)

NFC South:

Falcons 3-0 (2-0)
Saints 2-1 (0-1)
Panthers 1-2 (0-0)
Bucs 0-3 (0-1)

NFC West:

Cardinals 3-0 (0-0)
Seahawks 2-1 (2-0)
Rams 2-1 (1-1)
49ers 1-2 (0-2)

# ? May 14, 2017 17:36

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

I KNEW THE RAIDERS COULDN'T BEAT THE TITANS IN A FAIRLY OFFICIATED GAME

I

loving

KNEW

# ? May 14, 2017 17:45

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

"the good tricky player who hails from the bengals" Tyler Boyd really did his nick name this time around

# ? May 14, 2017 18:03

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

the chicago bears

# ? May 14, 2017 18:26

DariusLikewise: Oct 4, 2008; You wore that on Halloween?

BENCH CASE KEENUM

# ? May 14, 2017 18:37

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

Raise your hand if you called the Bears matching their IRL win total by Week 3

# ? May 14, 2017 19:10

Sataere: Jul 20, 2005; Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me

Benne posted:

Raise your hand if you called the Bears matching their IRL win total by Week 3

How are we supposed to get Trubisky if we keep winning games. :argh:

# ? May 14, 2017 20:14

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

really good sim so far, Ross

# ? May 14, 2017 20:17

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Sataere posted:

How are we supposed to get Trubisky if we keep winning games.

Trade away even more picks!

# ? May 14, 2017 20:33

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling
1-800-GAMBLER; Ultra Carp

Lions beat the Packers at Green Bay? Honestly they could lose the rest of their games that season and I'd still chalk it up as a success.

# ? May 14, 2017 20:58

Sad King Billy: Jan 27, 2006; Thats three of ours innit...to one of yours. You know mate I really think we ought to even up the average!

Taking Hoyer out makes all the difference, turns the Bears into a 7-9 team

# ? May 14, 2017 21:11

adaz: Mar 7, 2009

Hoyer playing for his contract

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? May 15, 2017 03:50

Abugadu: Jul 12, 2004; 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

lol check out the Packer's final drive - 1:41 left, on their own 17 yard line, one timeout left.

3 running plays immediately for a total of 1 yd, followed by a timeout.

Then a 35 yard pass.

Then an incomplete pass, then a 17 yard pass.

Then 3 running plays to finish the game beginning at the Lions 32, killing 45 seconds off the clock, with the last play of the game with 17 seconds left being a Christine Michael run up the gut from the 19 yard line that ends on the 1 yard line, with time expiring.

"We've secretly replaced Mike McCarthy with Andy Reid, let's see if anyone notices."

# ? May 15, 2017 06:29

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

It looks like the Browns offense is performing alright, but that defense....woof. Also I think the Sim is underrating Crow.

# ? May 15, 2017 11:44

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

Texans lose to Bears at home, beat Patriots in Foxborough. OK.

# ? May 15, 2017 17:07

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

all-Rush mixtape posted:

Texans lose to Bears at home, beat Patriots in Foxborough. OK.

The 3-0 Bears and Bradyless Patriots. Seems legit

# ? May 15, 2017 18:00

The Big Jesus: Oct 29, 2007; #essereFerrari

Metapod posted:

I KNEW THE RAIDERS COULDN'T BEAT THE TITANS IN A FAIRLY OFFICIATED GAME

I

loving

KNEW

Titans and Falcons 3-0 feelsgoodman

# ? May 16, 2017 13:49

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Week Four

Bengals 29, Dolphins 21
Jaguars 30, Colts 17
Texans 31, Titans 23
Washington 28, Browns 26
Seahawks 30, Jets 13
Patriots 29, Bills 14
Falcons 28, Panthers 13
Ravens 34, Raiders 17
Bears 36, Lions 30 F/OT
Broncos 15, Bucs 13
Rams 20, Cardinals 19
Chargers 23, Saints 10
Cowboys 30, 49ers 6
Steelers 45, Chiefs 38
Giants 21, Vikings 18 F/OT

AFC East:

Dolphins 3-1 (1-0)
Patriots 1-3 (1-1)
Bills 1-3 (1-1)
Jets 1-3 (0-1)

AFC North:

Ravens 4-0 (1-0)
Steelers 3-1 (1-0)
Bengals 3-1 (0-1)
Browns 0-4 (0-1)

AFC South:

Titans 3-1 (0-1)
Jaguars 2-2 (1-0)
Texans 2-2 (1-0)
Colts 1-3 (0-1)

AFC West:

Chiefs 2-2 (1-0)
Broncos 2-2 (0-0)
Chargers 1-3 (0-1)
Raiders 0-4 (0-0)

NFC East:

Redskins 3-1 (1-1)
Giants 2-2 (1-1)
Cowboys 2-2 (1-1)
Eagles 1-2 (0-0)

NFC North:

Bears 4-0 (1-0)
Packers 2-1 (1-1)
Lions 2-2 (1-1)
Vikings 1-3 (0-1)

NFC South:

Falcons 4-0 (3-0)
Saints 2-2 (0-1)
Panthers 1-3 (0-1)
Bucs 0-4 (0-1)

NFC West:

Seahawks 3-1 (2-0)
Rams 3-1 (2-1)
Cardinals 3-1 (0-1)
49ers 1-3 (0-2)

a neat cape fucked around with this message at 05:40 on May 22, 2017

# ? May 21, 2017 18:05

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

the goddamn secondary and special teams are poo poo even in sim gently caress

# ? May 21, 2017 18:07

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

Finally proof that fat randey is better than tannehill

# ? May 21, 2017 18:47

warcrimes: Jul 6, 2013; I don't know what's it called, I just know the sound it makes when it takes a J4G's life.

I love how the Raiders have been winless in two years in Ross's alternate universe

# ? May 21, 2017 20:48

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

The NFC North should be ashamed of itself

# ? May 21, 2017 21:51

Hot Diggity!: Apr 3, 2010; SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

Forgot the Packers had a week for bye but how the hell have the bears gone 4-0

# ? May 21, 2017 22:22

Epi Lepi: Oct 29, 2009; You can hear the voice
Telling you to Love
It's the voice of MK Ultra
And you're doing what it wants

I hate this sim and I hate to point this out but you have the Bucs at 1-3 when they should be 0-4.

Again, gently caress this sim.

# ? May 22, 2017 05:31

Its Rinaldo: Aug 13, 2010; CODS BINCH

a neat cape posted:

Week Four
AFC East:

Dolphins 3-1 (1-0)
Patriots 1-3 (1-1)
Bills 1-3 (1-1)
Jets 1-3 (0-1)

Print the shirts

# ? May 22, 2017 06:18

Sataere: Jul 20, 2005; Step 1: Start fight
Step 2: Attack straw man
Step 3: REPEAT

Do not engage with me

Hot Diggity! posted:

Forgot the Packers had a week for bye but how the hell have the bears gone 4-0

I keep telling you guys the Bears actually have talent. The nice thing about this sim is it keeps the decision making out if John Fox's hands.

# ? May 22, 2017 13:48

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Week Five

Cardinals 32, 49ers 9
Patriots 16, Browns 13
Eagles 37, Lions 31 F/OT
Bears 34, Colts 14
Titans 34, Dolphins 28
Washington 35, Ravens 21
Texans 13, Vikings 6
Steelers 42, Jets 24
Falcons 14, Broncos 9
Cowboys 48, Bengals 24
Bills 33, Rams 14
Chargers 38, Raiders 24
Giants 24, Packers 6
Panthers 34, Bucs 17

AFC East:

Dolphins 3-2 (1-0)
Patriots 2-3 (1-1)
Bills 2-3 (1-1)
Jets 1-4 (0-1)

AFC North:

Ravens 4-1 (1-0)
Steelers 4-1 (1-0)
Bengals 3-2 (0-1)
Browns 0-5 (0-1)

AFC South:

Titans 4-1 (0-1)
Texans 3-2 (1-0)
Jaguars 2-2 (1-0)
Colts 1-4 (0-1)

AFC West:

Chiefs 2-2 (1-0)
Chargers 2-3 (1-1)
Broncos 2-3 (0-0)
Raiders 0-5 (0-1)

NFC East:

Redskins 4-1 (1-1)
Giants 3-2 (1-1)
Cowboys 3-2 (1-1)
Eagles 2-2 (0-0)

NFC North:

Bears 5-0 (1-0)
Packers 2-2 (1-1)
Lions 2-3 (1-1)
Vikings 1-4 (0-1)

NFC South:

Falcons 5-0 (3-0)
Saints 2-2 (0-1)
Panthers 2-3 (1-1)
Bucs 0-5 (0-2)

NFC West:

Cardinals 4-1 (1-1)
Seahawks 3-1 (2-0)
Rams 3-2 (2-1)
49ers 1-4 (0-3)

# ? May 29, 2017 06:18

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

The tits will be the ones to slay da bears

# ? May 29, 2017 06:21

Cavauro: Jan 9, 2008

that game was like playing the real one twice in a row, just about. it Almost was. Catch you tomorrow

# ? May 29, 2017 06:38

Darth Brooks: Jan 15, 2005; I do not wear this mask to protect me. I wear it to protect you from me.

These simulations never favor the Vikings, not last year and not this year.

# ? May 29, 2017 14:51

Athanatos: Jun 7, 2006; Est. 1967

The sim has a hard-on for running the ball so the Colts aint winning poo poo.

# ? May 29, 2017 17:50

Flikken: Oct 23, 2009; 10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Athanatos posted:

The sim has a hard-on for running the ball so the Colts aint winning poo poo.

And yet it has the browns running less than 20 Times a game.

# ? May 29, 2017 17:53

Probably Magic: Oct 9, 2012; Looking cute, feeling cute.

Athanatos posted:

The sim has a hard-on for running the ball so the Colts aint winning poo poo.

...this explains why the Titans have been looking good.

Exotic smashmouth, baby.

# ? May 29, 2017 18:18

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:10

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

da bears
da beaaaars

daaaaaaaa beaaaaaaaaaaars

# ? May 30, 2017 20:26

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 2016 NFL Season Redux

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