Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
forbidden dialectics
Jul 26, 2005





it's totally fine to drink 1/2 a bottle of vodka at 5:48 AM. Walk up to the bar, and say "2 bloody marys, a mimosa, and uhh...can I just get a glass of ice, but full of vodka?" Only to be greeted with a friendly, enthusiastic, "Absolutely!" by the bartender; nary a hint of judgement at drinking at an hour normally reserved for only the most serious alcoholics.

Strike up a conversation with a fellow traveller about how the staff draws straws for who has to "wipe down the loads" in the complementary shower. Because, you KNOW people gently caress in there.

Post your most depraved airport lounge stories itt

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
Of course he's happy to earn his tip on the 60 dollar 3 drink order.

Second Hand Meat Mouth
Sep 12, 2001

The airport lounges I'm a member of don't have a bartender, instead they have a top shelf open bar.

forbidden dialectics
Jul 26, 2005





500 good dogs posted:

The airport lounges I'm a member of don't have a bartender, instead they have a top shelf open bar.

Oh yeah, the pro-est tier lounges are like this (MSP Sky Club e.g.), but sadly, pouring yourself as much free liquor as you want is not legal everywhere :(


Dave_Indeed posted:

Of course he's happy to earn his tip on the 60 dollar 3 drink order.

Umm, my friend, drinks are complementary in this realm.

forbidden dialectics fucked around with this message at 15:00 on May 26, 2017

canpakes
Jul 26, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo
I personally would never use the word "loads "in the context that you were referring to when speaking with the stranger id just met at an airport. But that is for God alone to judge. I think it is fairly rude and it's not very tactful myself

Smoking_Dragon
Dec 12, 2001

WOE UNTO THEE
Pillbug

canpakes posted:

I personally would never use the word "loads "in the context that you were referring to when speaking with the stranger id just met at an airport. But that is for God alone to judge. I think it is fairly rude and it's not very tactful myself

Look at this prude!!

Fried Watermelon
Dec 29, 2008


You fools

The trick is to buy duty free alcohol and put it all into a large McDonalds cup and drink walking around the airport and on the plane

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
The united lounge in london wouldn't let me in once because I wasn't in "proper attire" in jeans and a tshirt so I unpacked a polo shirt and they let me in. gently caress you, who cares what I'm wearing I want to get drunk at 8 in the morning. It was alright.

Larry Parrish
Jul 9, 2012

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Rich people poo poo with dress codes are the worst

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.
I once got into a betting contest with a friendly Texan on departure delays. Oh wait, that was a Seinfeld episode. I guess I don't have any stories as I'm a filthy poor.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer
I find that beer more adequately prepares me for a day of airline travel than coffee so it's a good thing they serve as soon as things open

early flight --> breakfast and drinks --> sleep on plane

pro sequence

good breakfast may not apply if your airport is tiny and sucks sorry

Tumble
Jun 24, 2003
I'm not thinking of anything!

Monkey Fracas posted:

I find that beer more adequately prepares me for a day of airline travel than coffee so it's a good thing they serve as soon as things open

early flight --> breakfast and drinks --> sleep on plane

pro sequence

good breakfast may not apply if your airport is tiny and sucks sorry

Beer is baby-tier travel drinking.

The best move is to take a couple percocets and wash them down with some straight liquor on ice. Hard liquor has more alcohol by volume, so you get less water. Less water means less getting up to pee, because using the bathroom on airplanes is lame.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Getting the timing wrong and waking up with a hangover in the middle of the Pacific ocean is a hellish fate

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Fried Watermelon posted:

You fools

The trick is to buy duty free alcohol and put it all into a large McDonalds cup and drink walking around the airport and on the plane

Holy poo poo that's a good idea.

Teach us sempai

Count Freebasie
Jan 12, 2006



Fried Watermelon posted:

You fools

The trick is to buy duty free alcohol and put it all into a large McDonalds cup and drink walking around the airport and on the plane

But I can drink for free in the lounge and not have to be among the unwashed masses.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
Don't they like check open containers like that

I mean for a while they were making women taste their own breast milk

Count Freebasie
Jan 12, 2006

Also, many duty free stores I'm aware of make you show your boarding pass to prove your on an international flight when you buy something.

Tumble
Jun 24, 2003
I'm not thinking of anything!
lol if you travel and don't factor in a $100 or so of airport bar boozing.

Vakal
May 11, 2008

Aesop Poprock posted:

Don't they like check open containers like that


I traveled with a guy that insisted on hitting up the airport Starbucks for a big expensive coffee right before we hit the security line. Security confiscated it even though he still had the receipt the showed it was bought in the airport.

Anyway, after clearing security he grumbled for a bit and ended up buying another big expensive coffee at another Starbucks near the terminal gates since he refused to drink the swill they served on the plane. We were cutting it close so he only got a few sips before it was time to board the plane and of course the flight attendants wouldn't let him bring it on with him despite being literally able to point to the store that sold it to him.

Fried Watermelon
Dec 29, 2008


Aesop Poprock posted:

Don't they like check open containers like that

I mean for a while they were making women taste their own breast milk

You buy the drink AFTER security

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007



Heaps of Sheeps posted:

Oh yeah, the pro-est tier lounges are like this (MSP Sky Club e.g.), but sadly, pouring yourself as much free liquor as you want is not legal everywhere :(


Umm, my friend, drinks are complementary in this realm.
First against the wall etc

walgreenslatino
Jun 2, 2015

Lipstick Apathy

Vakal posted:

I traveled with a guy that insisted on hitting up the airport Starbucks for a big expensive coffee right before we hit the security line. Security confiscated it even though he still had the receipt the showed it was bought in the airport.

Anyway, after clearing security he grumbled for a bit and ended up buying another big expensive coffee at another Starbucks near the terminal gates since he refused to drink the swill they served on the plane. We were cutting it close so he only got a few sips before it was time to board the plane and of course the flight attendants wouldn't let him bring it on with him despite being literally able to point to the store that sold it to him.

lol

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Vakal posted:

I traveled with a guy that insisted on hitting up the airport Starbucks for a big expensive coffee right before we hit the security line. Security confiscated it even though he still had the receipt the showed it was bought in the airport.

Anyway, after clearing security he grumbled for a bit and ended up buying another big expensive coffee at another Starbucks near the terminal gates since he refused to drink the swill they served on the plane. We were cutting it close so he only got a few sips before it was time to board the plane and of course the flight attendants wouldn't let him bring it on with him despite being literally able to point to the store that sold it to him.

He's supposed to pour it out on her face then

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

Getting the timing wrong and waking up with a hangover in the middle of the Pacific ocean is a hellish fate

i knew you were steve bannon the whole time.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!
Grimey Drawer

Tumble posted:

Beer is baby-tier travel drinking.

The best move is to take a couple percocets and wash them down with some straight liquor on ice. Hard liquor has more alcohol by volume, so you get less water. Less water means less getting up to pee, because using the bathroom on airplanes is lame.

Yeah, that would be more efficient

I just like taking every opportunity to have beer with breakfast and don't want to be totally blasted on domestic flights I guess- a little buzz is enough to help me sleep when the flights are super-early

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless

Aesop Poprock posted:

Don't they like check open containers like that

I mean for a while they were making women taste their own breast milk

Now the TSA tastes your breastmilk for you by grabbing your tits and opening their mouths and motorboating the stream of milk.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

canpakes posted:

I personally would never use the word "loads "in the context that you were referring to when speaking with the stranger id just met at an airport. But that is for God alone to judge. I think it is fairly rude and it's not very tactful myself

Umm, my friend, loads are complementary in this realm.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
I was at a hotel in dubai and goit to chill in the executive lounge for a while, ate a massive pile of koftas and enjoyed multiple highball glasses filled with gin and ice, which is I guess a 'double' over there


edit: oh this is all free btw, makes no sense when you're rich stuff is free, what a world

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

The Walrus posted:

I was at a hotel in dubai and goit to chill in the executive lounge for a while, ate a massive pile of koftas and enjoyed multiple highball glasses filled with gin and ice, which is I guess a 'double' over there


edit: oh this is all free btw, makes no sense when you're rich stuff is free, what a world

I never got why if you were rich and could go pretty much anywhere, you'd go to a place like Dubai to blow your money. Why not somewhere nicer like Zurich or Oslo or something?

forbidden dialectics
Jul 26, 2005





HAT FETISH posted:

First against the wall etc

If the revolution happens I will kill my are self for being bourgeois scum. Until then I'll get loaded on Delta's dime

Instruction Manuel
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Vakal posted:

I traveled with a guy that insisted on hitting up the airport Starbucks for a big expensive coffee right before we hit the security line. Security confiscated it even though he still had the receipt the showed it was bought in the airport.

Anyway, after clearing security he grumbled for a bit and ended up buying another big expensive coffee at another Starbucks near the terminal gates since he refused to drink the swill they served on the plane. We were cutting it close so he only got a few sips before it was time to board the plane and of course the flight attendants wouldn't let him bring it on with him despite being literally able to point to the store that sold it to him.

Wtf was that his first flight ever because I can understand it if it was because everyone knows after they've been to the airport one time

Fried Watermelon posted:

You buy the drink AFTER security

Also, I've never had anyone check open containers on my flights but I've never flown anywhere out of the USA hellscape.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I never got why if you were rich and could go pretty much anywhere, you'd go to a place like Dubai to blow your money. Why not somewhere nicer like Zurich or Oslo or something?

frrom what I can tell it's like vegas and they take very great care and pride in making you feel more rich and important than you actually are

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


Dave_Indeed posted:

Of course he's happy to earn his tip on the 60 dollar 3 drink order.

ljol this dude fuckin wrecked himself with the first fuckin post

get out of here, poor

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

what about people who wait until literally the last second at security to take jacket off/empty pockets/fumble with laptops and toiletries/forget english/generally be clueless cunts who gently caress me off

are they complimentary

PIZZA.BAT
Nov 12, 2016


:cheers:


just to be clear i always tip lunge bartenders real well but lol @ paying for drinks at them

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

The Walrus posted:

frrom what I can tell it's like vegas and they take very great care and pride in making you feel more rich and important than you actually are

yeah but you're in the middle east and I'd probably end up with my hands chopped off for some offense or another regardless of how much money I have.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy

yeah I eat rear end posted:

yeah but you're in the middle east and I'd probably end up with my hands chopped off for some offense or another regardless of how much money I have.

if you're rich and white I think you can literally kill people over there so long as theyre not other white people

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I never got why if you were rich and could go pretty much anywhere, you'd go to a place like Dubai to blow your money. Why not somewhere nicer like Zurich or Oslo or something?

or a warm place with water and titties be bustin' loose!

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
all the bathrooms have these hand held sprayer things that ppl use instead of toilet paper though, and it is just as loving nasty as you might expect, so that's a definite mark against. I wouldn't go back, I'm more of a road trip across south dakota kind of guy

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
I went to a hotel bar to try and meet people and it was just me and like 50 prostitutes it was weird as hell

  • Locked thread