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 Alexa Merrill, Student Council President "It's nice to meet you. I'm Alexa. President of the student council, star of the track team, here on an academic scholarship, dating the all-state quarterback... I think you get the picture. It must seem like I have it all, right? That couldn't be further from the truth. I've... I'm..." Alexa sighs. "I'm not happy at all, okay? Every moment of every day is nothing but obligations and people telling me how to live my life. My mother insists that I keep up straight A's to keep this scholarship that I don't even need, but I apparently need to keep it because it's going to look great on my college applications. Law school, of course, like I even have a choice in the matter. That's why I need to compete in track, play three different instruments, and, of course, run student council. If you ask me, she's just looking to get me into politics. She was almost elected governor, if you don't remember the 200X elections. I've never forgotten. How could I? She brings it up every day." "My father is, if you can believe it, even worse. He's... rather insistent that I keep dating Nathan. He's fine, don't get me wrong, and he treats me well, but... I don't love him. He's a guy that I would talk to every few days. You know? But his dad is one of my father's major suppliers and I'm pretty sure that there are some pretty significant concessions being made since the working assumption is that we're going to get married in a year or two." "Sometimes I wonder if they even know who I am. I know they know what they want me to be, but nobody's ever given me a choice. A real choice, not just 'pick three instruments and learn to play them.' Trumpet, alto saxophone, and violin. That's what I ended up picking. So, recently, I started making some choices of my own. I blew off studying for the science test and decided to learn how to read tarot spreads. Sure, it was a pretty big problem when I only pulled a B- on the test. But you know what? I was happy. Happier than I'd been in years." "I've made up my mind. I don't need to be this... thing. This perfect, porcelain doll. I'm going to make mistakes. Take some chances. And, hopefully, figure out what I want to do with my life. What's that saying? You only live once?" quote:Which of the Major Arcana best exemplifies you? "It's funny you ask. When I drew my first card for my very first spread, it was The Sun. Something about it just feels... right. You know? I really like the idea of inspiring and building people up. Not because I have to, but because I want to." Alexa is someone who's been shaped into the perfect vessel for her parents' desires, but no amount of banality can put out that quintessential spark at the core of her being. An inner Sun, if you will. Ironically it's that spark that draws people to her, not all the cruft her parents and teachers force on her. So I envision her struggle in game being a journey of self-discovery, complete with butting heads with everyone telling her who she is and how she's ruining her life every step along the way, but one where she guts through it all with hope and optimism. quote:Who is an important person in your life? "You seriously can't tell anyone about her, but I've been hanging out with one of the librarians. Her name is Miss Noel. She was the one who pointed me at that tarot book. And, you know, she's been really supportive with everything. I can't talk about my problems with any of the students. For one, who can I trust? If my parents or some of the teachers hear about things... Well, it'd nip my bid for freedom right in the bud. And two, who wants to hear about the perfect student's problems? I know that so many people have it rough, but... Well, sometimes I want someone to listen to my story too." "It's kind of funny. Studying at the library used to be my least favorite obligation, but now I look forward to it. I'm never sure what she's going to show me next. I think she mentioned digging into Kabbalah? I can't wait!" quote:What do you want more than anything in the world? "Freedom. Absolute, unfettered freedom. The freedom to try anything I want. The freedom to find what I love." quote:Are you okay with playing over Discord? Yep! I'd lean more towards async PbP-style, as my schedule gets a little crazy during the school year, but I could probably swing a scheduled time on the weekend. Regardless, I'd prefer text to voice. quote:Name: Alexa Merrill Tricky fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Jun 29, 2017 |
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Jun 23, 2017 17:52
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Alexa Merrill It takes a few moments before I cotton on to the fact that this... Probably isn't a dream? Or if it is, it promises to be one of those really weird ones that I remember for years. Like that one I had when I was a little kid where my father turned into a tree. It was kind of traumatic, really. I look around as the lights dim and see that I'm far from alone. There's a bunch of puppets in suits and dresses — very weird — and then there are a few others. They look... Well, almost familiar. Everything here feels so strange that I can't imagine anyone I know showing up. I can almost hear my mother talking about how no proper person would be caught dead in a place like this. She never did like puppets. Of course, I look down at myself. I'm in a black evening gown. Floor-length, sleeveless. It's very flattering. It's also the dress I was wearing when I first met Nathan at Merrill Heavy Industries' holiday party. I haven't thought about that in months. Why would I be wearing it now? The magician takes the stage and the show begins. There'll be time to figure this out later, I guess. It would be rude to ignore the show. I blink in surprise as the rose lands in my lap. I had seen it coming towards me, I suppose, but a part of me thought that it was meant for someone else. I suck in a deep breath, then begin picking my way towards the stage. Inspecting the rose as I walk, I can't help but notice that it's a very vivid orange. Not a traditional color for a magic show, was it? Then again, this hardly seemed like a traditional magic show. I take the stairs, mindful of my attire, and come to a stop next to the others. I pull my card, just like M asks, and take a careful look at it. Huh. That card again... quote:Have we ever met before? The word 'no' almost bubbles out of my mouth without a second thought, but I stand there wordlessly for a moment instead. This magician, this place... I've never been here before in my life, I'm sure of it. Even so. There's some itch in the back of my mind that's practically screaming 'yes.' I look to the left and the right, but I don't see anyone thinking half as hard about this. Or, I guess, they're a hell of a lot better at hiding their indecision. Maybe I'm just imagining things? I finally say, "I don't know. It feels like I know you from somewhere, but... Where would we have met?" quote:How does Nathan feel about you? Oof. Not pulling any punches, I see. I hide the gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach behind a smile and say, "Well, things are going great. We've been dating for almost a year now. We met at a holiday party thrown by my father's corporation and hit it off right away. It's pretty rare that I run into people my age there. I was expecting a night full of listening to people complain about the state of politics and tax reform — I'm sure you've heard that sort of thing before — and I ended up talking to Nathan instead. He's really charming when he puts his mind to it." I stop talking for a moment and the silence begins to stretch. It looked like this M wasn't buying my deflection. I let out a deep sigh, my smile fading, "I don't know. Not really. He does everything right. He's funny, spontaneous (but not too spontaneous), and knows just what to say. But... I can see it in his eyes. Not always, but it peeks through. I don't know if he knows it, but all of this is all just an act. He's an incredible actor playing the part of the perfect boyfriend. I just... I don't know why. I know why I keep up my end of the charade, of course, given my father's... encouragement in the matter, but what does he get out of it all?" Running my hand through my hair, I continue, "It's weird, right? We've talked about... You know. What happens after we graduate. But I don't remember ever talking to him about how we really feel. I've heard him tell me that he loves me dozens of times. Hundreds, even. I don't really remember him ever telling me why he does. What does he like about me? Does he really love me? I just... I wish I knew how he really felt. I know how I feel, but... Well. I suppose it won't really matter soon enough." quote:What do your parents say about Baron, that Vinewood big shot who’s running for President? I let out a relieved sigh. Oh, good. This wasn't nearly as distressing a subject. I say, "They're a little split on him. Not a real point of contention between them, you know, but his background is a little... divisive. Baron is on the NatDem ticket, of course, and he's painted himself as a kinder, more gentle face for the National Democrats. For a politician, he's a pretty compelling speaker. Of course, it's all just talk. You look at his actual proposals and it's still the same regressive policies." I shake my head. "My mother has repeatedly expressed her admiration of how he's worked his way up from nothing. I think she sees — or is projecting — herself onto him. Her political dreams and aspirations. My father doesn't like him. Baron doesn't dress the right way, act the right way, or come from the right background. He's not old money, essentially." "Neither of them seem concerned with the damage he stands to do to the Pacific States. My father hears promises of corporate tax cuts and will grumble his way to the polls. My mother is a hard-line National Democrat and has been since before she ran for governor. If you ask me, we could use some new ideas. Fresh ideas. The kind of ideas that would actually help people. The Grand Unionists are hardly any better. The Reformation League is a joke, structurally speaking, but at least they present policies that might help people. I was pleasantly surprised to see the Reformers pick up a few seats in the last midterm." quote:If you had absolute freedom, what would you choose to do with it? I stand in silence, my face thoughtful. What would I do with it...? I... I hadn't thought that far ahead. I've just come to notice the gilded cage that envelops me. I just want out. But what would I do after that? I venture, "Well, I'd like to travel... Outside the Pacific States. Cascadia has some beautiful parks." That's what I'd do with absolute freedom? That can't be right. That sounds like a vacation. "But... Uhm, I guess I want to help people. I'm pretty good at talking things through with people. Mediating student disputes is part of my job with the student council, after all, so I've had quite a bit of practice. That's not quite what I mean, though. Not just... smoothing things over with words. I guess I want to give people something to believe in." "That sounds a little crazy, right? I'm not even sure how I'd go about it. I suppose politics is an option, but that seems like its own set of chains." I scratch the back of my neck, looking a bit chagrined. "I'm sorry if you were hoping for more specifics. I think I just need to... You know. Get out there and try everything."
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Jun 26, 2017 01:37
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Alexa Merrill I look thoughtfully at the show that M provides. Call me crazy, but I'm less interested in the supposed end of the world — like she said, that future can still be changed — than the idea of these shadows reflecting back and forth. Would my parents have their own? It sounded like I do, at least. I retreat into thoughtful contemplation for a few moments, eventually shaking free after the redhead picks a card. I feel like I should know her name, should know everyone's name here, but... Perhaps it is the time and the place, but they slip through my grasp. I step forward and pick my own. My eyes widen as I look at it. Could that be right? That doesn't feel right. But if I flip it like so... Aha. Reversed.  I say, "The World, reversed. I'm trying to reach completion, but missing steps? Mm, no. That doesn't feel right either. Maybe a time that I was close to completion...?" I pause. The thorns of the rose dig into my palms. The pain reminds me. I know exactly what this means. Hesitantly, I begin, "It was when I had first joined the track team. We were practicing pole vaulting. I was awful at it at first. But when I get my mind to something, I don't like to give up. I must have spent hours trying to get it down. Practice ended and everyone left. Except for me. I stayed late. Real late. And I could tell that I was getting close to something. I thought it was just the right groove, the right technique at the time. Finally, I had it. I tried one last time, charging towards the vault, planting my pole, angling myself to cut over... and I never came down. Just a beautiful moment slipping through space and soaring towards... Something. The school faded, replaced by things I don't even have the words to describe. It's all still a little blurry, even now. I know it was good, though. It was right. I don't even know how long this journey took. It felt like forever. But right before I got there, right before I stepped inside... I felt hands pulling me back. My parents. The moment was gone. I landed on the pad." I smile, a bit sadly, "I did learn how to vault that day, but I guess I could have learned so much more." I look down at the rose in my hand. The blood I expected isn't there, but... It seems to have changed from a solid orange to one with red sworls cutting through. Curious. It was starting to remind me quite intensely of the card I drew earlier. Was that another trick of my mind? Of this place? Or, perhaps...
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Jun 29, 2017 16:13
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