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The Notorious ZSB
Apr 19, 2004

I SAID WE'RE NOT GONNA BE FUCKING SUCK THIS YEAR!!!

MEDIA DAYS HAVE BEGUN (many are already over) but that means the season is nearly upon us. With less than 40 days before the first game kicks it's about time for us to dream big and spin wild tales of success that some of us will get to enjoy. Mostly I'm sure we'll all be a heartbroken mess by week 4 or 5 because CFB is a cruel cruel mistress.

So my format remains Date/Opponent/Win|Loss% expectation with Best, Expected, and Worst Case outcomes to set the floor and ceiling of the prediction.

Tennessee Volunteers


Last season was really close to being super memorable, but ended up being memorable for a lot of not so great reasons (injuries, Texas A&M, Bama, South Carolina, Vandy all managed to beat the Vols in middle October into november) and a lot of the talent base left (Barnett, LBs, Dobbs) so this year feels like way more of a toss up. Hopefully Butch has some better depth this year after having to push guys into roles last year.

Sept 4 - Georgia Tech Chic-Fil-A Kickoff Classic - 50|50 : GT was sorta sneakily better than you'd have thought they'd be last year. CPJ is always tricky and with so many new faces it feels like a Toss Up.
Sept 9 - Indiana State - 95|5 : Easy paid win on a short week.
Sept 16 - @ Florida - 45|55 : Finally got over that hump last year, but it didn't matter anyway. New QBs on both teams means I have no idea but will continue to give Florida the benefit in this game being in the Swamp and uhh 1 year doesn't mean poo poo. Even Kentucky beat the Vols once in 30 years (maybe they can beat Florida sometime too).
Sept 23 - UMass - 95|5 : Another pay em gimme game. Former VT QB Andrew Ford is the starter at UMass and he's got kind of a noodle arm so prb a feel good rebound perhaps.
Sept 30 - Georgia - 55|45 : Last year's game was wild and seemingly Butch has found ways to beat Georgia after coming close his first couple years. Plus the turf at Neyland seems to claim a bulldog everytime.
Oct 14 - South Carolina - 60|40 : Umm it was embarrassing losing to them last year, they'll be better but Muschamp ain't got much depth yet. As long as we're healthy we should win this game.
Oct 21 - @ Alabama - 15|85 : I can't say they've got no chance, but its not far from no chance. Bama just too good, this team likely won't challenge them in October with a new starter at QB.
Oct 28 - @ Kentucky - 75|25 : Butch Jones owns Mark Stoops. They're a better team, but that rivalry mojo is still there.
Nov 4 - Southern Miss - 90|10 : Closing out the non conference p weak, but it should ensure the Vols make a bowl game...they aren't the 0-12 disaster but I'm not too worried about the November fluff.
Nov 11 - @ Missouri - 60|40 : Well we've not been so great against Mizzou, its on the road and we only won because they turned it over a million times last year. Vols should still be in a better spot, but the margin isn't wide with this program this season.
Nov 18 - LSU - 30|70 : I think they'll have a better team with a stronger defense and a more mature offense. Maybe we can repeat the Dooley 13 men formation! :ugh:
Nov 25 - Vanderbilt - 60|40 : Yeah I dunno both or one of these teams could need this win for bowl eligibility. They got us last year when we were broken so health might decide this one too.

Best Case Scenario 10-2/6-2 SEC - The QB isn't a drop off and the defense stays healthy. If they could clean up some of the turnovers (both with the football and personnel) the team could be surprisingly good with John Kelly at RB and the WR talent. Dline talent needs to stay healthy, but the options are good there. Win close, drop 2 and get a chance to be smooshed by Alabama probably in the SECCG. This would ensure Butch isn't on the hot seat (which is silly imo but thats a separate debate).

Expected Scenario 8-4/4-4 SEC - You could add an SEC win and replace it with a GT loss in this scenario too. The team will be competitive against everyone but Bama, but will probably manage to lose a couple (Georgia/Florida/Bama/LSU feel most likely, or in Vols fashion beat someone get us excited then lose to Kentucky or something stupid). I think this keeps Butch on a warm not hot seat.

Worse Case Scenario 6-6/3-5 SEC - Things haven't gone to plan. An opening loss to GT sets up an early season gamut leaving them in the hole by October with a 2-3 record looking at an annoying SEC schedule and little shot at the division. Beat the bottom feeders to maintain a bowl game, but lose to improving teams in the division. Butch might lose his job with this performance.

Virginia Tech Hokies


If you wanted a blueprint for how to retire your legendary coach and have a smooth transition talk to Whit. Fuente came in, made the offense exciting, instilled a mentality that buckled on occasion but never gave up, and came really close to stealing an ACC title from Clemson. All in all seeing 10 wins again with a lot of mojo breaking performances (@ Pitt, crushing ECU/BC, Comebacks vs ND & Arky)was inspiring for Tech fans. He'll need to keep winning even with the loss of some all VT talent to bolster recruiting which feels improved, but to get us up again with FSU/Clemson in the ACC we need more top end talent. After year 1 though I think most Tech fans are optimistic about Fuente's ability to get us back into the big time discussion.

Sept 3 - West Virginia @ FedEx Field Battle for the Black Diamond Trophy - 55|45 : The fuckin COUSINS! I'm glad to see this rivalry be renewed after so long, even though it engenders much hate from both fan bases. WVU fans will tell you Grier will tear it up, but who knows esp in week 1 vs one of the best DC in the country. As long as we find a QB and a WR or two worth a drat I like our chances. The memory of Miami smooshing them in the bowl game weighs heavy coupled with the Big 12 being kind of a trash conference beyond the top 2 teams makes me feel like their W total last year might not be indicative of the state of the program. Losing your entire LB corp (i think with their lone returner down from injury for the first month) won't be good vs Fuente's offense either.
Sept 9 - Delaware - 95|5 : Short week gimme. They aren't quite the FCS program they used to be and I trust Fuente to have the team ready.
Sept 16 - @ ECU - 75|25 : Okay so that Duke QB we didn't have to face last year, guess we get 2 Duke QBs this year! I'm no longer worried about ECU with Fuente at the helm. They shouldn't have gotten rid of Ruffin.
Sept 23 - Old Dominion - 90|10 : First game in a series that will see us play down in the 757 eventually for recruiting purposes. They're a good squad, but I don't think they'll have the talent to hang with us having only been in FBS for a few years now. Give this a few years, this game will be our new ECU game with fans desperately wishing we didn't have to see them every year.
Sept 30 - Clemson - 40|60 : I think like last season this should be a fun competitive game, but Clemson has more depth and talent. It showed last year and being in Blacksburg helps, but I don't think we've caught up to them yet. Beat them we're prb ahead of schedule and a hype train can fire up.
Oct 7 - @ Boston College - 80|20 : Lollfer still the OC? Not too worried. Chestnut Hill is a ghost town of a stadium these days too so not much home field advantage there.
Oct 21 - UNC - 65|35 : I don't think Brandon Harris is the answer and they've never fielded more than a conscious defense under Fedora. I think they're stepping back this year and we should be able to get them even without a hurricane.
Oct 28 - Duke - 55|45 : Why is Duke always a loving nightmare for us? Cutcliffe and his NFL god damned QBs that's why. We should win because I don't see their defense improving, but it's never an easy game and if they're improved could win this (they've done it before see 2013).
Nov 4 - @ Miami - 50|50 : Likely the Coastal title game if the media is to be believed. Whoever gets the better QB play will win as I expect both teams to be salty on defense. Richt concerns me since he can recruit like gang busters, but for now this is still a good rivalry game, total toss up.
Nov 11 - @ Georgia Tech - 50|50 : CPJ might make you mad, but you gotta respect his coaching chops (get it chop block o clock). Our games tend to be tight 1 possession affairs and I don't expect this to be any different. We're capable of totally shutting GT down, but see last year as reason never to sleep on them and not to expect an easy W.
Nov 18 - Pitt - 60|40 : Getting over our Heinz Field curse was huge last season, and they will not be scoring that many points this fall (Watson is a definite downgrade from Canada). Plus I think they're gonna be easier to run on this year. I think late in the season we should win this at home.
Nov 24 - @ Virginia - 100|0 : Suck it Wahoos. Bronco isn't beating us with the talent he's got there, and we're gonna have it 14 straight.

Best Case Scenario 10-2/6-2 ACC - You could swap an opening loss to WVU with another ACC game here if you wanted for this prediction. Either way, we're winning against the lesser programs on the schedule and I would target the Duke/Miami/GT run of weekends as the most likely to have losses in. In this scenario, the defense edges towards elite again, and our QB is a plus for the team while the run game actually works beyond our QB. We probably have a punchers chance in the ACCCG with a shot at the Orange Bowl. If PSU on their tear as 11-2 champs last year didn't make the playoff I wouldn't think this team would either.

Expected Scenario 9-3/5-3 ACC - I firmly believe we will beat WVU on opening weekend, but lose to Clemson and a couple other ACC squads to have a solid second season for Fuente that leaves the opportunity to win 10 in a bowl game again. This probably means we are close to the division title, but I would think this is a game behind the winner (Could it actually be Miami's year?). This record much like last year could be enough to get into the ACCCG. Florida bowl game a possibility.

Worst Case Scenario 7-5/4-4 ACC - Lose to WVU, sweep the remaining OOC then slog to a mediocre finish in the ACC behind inconsistent or inadequate QB play and a lack of playmakers at WR/RB. Bowl streak continues but it doesn't feel so great.

ITS ALMOST HERE. Also thanks to Frinkahedron for hooking me up with these awesome photos he took at the Battle of Bristol last fall.

The Notorious ZSB fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Jul 21, 2017

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Nur_Neerg
Sep 1, 2004

The Lumbering but Unstoppable Sasquatch of the Appalachians
First response? MORE VT!

Sept 3 - West Virginia @ FedEx Field Battle for the Black Diamond Trophy: Neutral site game that's probably slightly more of a home-field for us than them. I don't see WVU super competing with us; their D looks bad and is young and fresh and has injuries already. Their O has a QB who was mediocre at his last stop and hasn't played in, what, almost two years? VT by 10-17.
Sept 9 - Delaware: Woo cupcakes. VT by ~35
Sept 16 - @ ECU: Pretty much a cupcake since their AD didn't like Ruff. VT by 21+
Sept 23 - Old Dominion: A cupcake! VT by 35+
Sept 30 - Clemson: Clemson lost a lot of talent, and the game's in Blacksburg, but they're still far more talented than we are. Think they beat us by 10-14, larger margin than the ACC CG.
Oct 7 - @ Boston College: I would call this a cupcake, but @ BC is NEVER fun. Hopefully Fu has better luck here than Beams. VT by 10.
Oct 21 - UNC: Should be significantly worse this year than last, and we CRUSHED them in Chapel Hill last year. VT by 17
Oct 28 - Duke: Duke has regressed massively, just don't see it this year. VT by 24
Nov 4 - @ Miami: I think VT loses this one in a single-score margin by 7.
Nov 11 - @ Georgia Tech: I'm going to this game, so VT will win by ~10.
Nov 18 - Pitt: This one's in Blacksburg, so Pitt magic shouldn't be in effect. Guessing we manage to beat them by 3-7.
Nov 24 - @ Virginia: We should win this by 50-60, Bronco is a terrible coach and terrible recruiter who seems p. much doomed to fail in Charlottesville.

What I expect: 10-2 regular season w/ a loss to FSU or Clemson in the ACC CG.
Best case scenario: 11-1 regular season if we can pull off the W home against Clemson or @Miami.
Worst case scenario: 7-5 with losses to: one of Pitt/BC, Clemson, WVU, Miami, and a mysterious L we definitely shouldn't have (see Syracuse last year).

KIM JONG TRILL
Nov 29, 2006

GIN AND JUCHE
UTEP - W - Boomer Sooner
@Ohio State - W - Boomer Sooner
Tulane - W - Boomer Sooner
@Baylor - W - gently caress Baylor
Iowa State - W - Boomer Sooner
Texas - W - Boomer Sooner
@Kansas State - W - Boomer Sooner
Texas Tech - W - Boomer Sooner
@Oklahoma State - W - Boomer Sooner
TCU - W - Boomer Sooner
@Kansas - W - Boomer Sooner
WVU - W - Boomer Sooner
Big 12 Championship - W - Boomer Sooner
CFP Semi-Final - W - Boomer Sooner
CFP Championship - W - Boomer Sooner

The Notorious ZSB
Apr 19, 2004

I SAID WE'RE NOT GONNA BE FUCKING SUCK THIS YEAR!!!

KIM JONG TRILL posted:

UTEP - W - Boomer Sooner
@Ohio State - W - Boomer Sooner
Tulane - W - Boomer Sooner
@Baylor - W - gently caress Baylor
Iowa State - W - Boomer Sooner
Texas - W - Boomer Sooner
@Kansas State - W - Boomer Sooner
Texas Tech - W - Boomer Sooner
@Oklahoma State - W - Boomer Sooner
TCU - W - Boomer Sooner
@Kansas - W - Boomer Sooner
WVU - W - Boomer Sooner
Big 12 Championship - W - Boomer Sooner
CFP Semi-Final - W - Boomer Sooner
CFP Championship - W - Boomer Sooner

It wouldn't be one of these threads without a whole prediction full of BOOMER SOONER.

Also somehow forgot to mention in the Vols preview, but Smoky dog remains a very good dog. Perhaps the best dog mascot rip MACTION PUP.

The Notorious ZSB fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Jul 22, 2017

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
FSU: Who the hell knows? We lead off with 'Bama, though, so we'll have some answers fast.

kayakyakr
Feb 16, 2004

Kayak is true
Texas Tech:

EWU - 3:00 game in September in Lubbock? L
ASU - P5 team from another conference? L
@UH - Traveling to Houston? L
OSU - Kliff's not yet 40. L
@KU - Kansas gonna bite some people. L
@WVU - Dana's gonna go monster on us. L
ISU - Has TTU's number. L
@OU - Boomer Sooner L
KSU - Snyder's retirement package. L
BU* - Gonna rape us. L
TCU - Dunno who they got, but it's better than what we got. L
@UT - gently caress the Longhorns. W

Kliff will get a 4 year extension.

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide
UAB hasn't lost a game for years and I hope we can continue the streak and that my secondary school, Alabama, makes a bowl

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Washington made the Playoff last year! That was an unexpected but pleasant surprise, as Cris Petersen's rebuild finished ahead of schedule. We even gave Bama a decent fight for like, 1 1/2 quarters, which technically counts as a win, right?

Anyway, with Jake Browning back, the Huskies should be favorites to win the Pac-12 North again, but they lost a ton of experienced talent on both sides of the ball and USC owned our souls last year. Getting back to the Playoff is probably a pipe dream, but hey, it's nice to be nationally relevant again.

Key departures: WR John Ross, S Budda Baker, CB Sidney Jones, CB Kevin King, DL Joe Mathis
Key returning players: QB Jake Browning, RB Myles Gaskin, WR Dante Pettis, OT Trey Adams, DT Vea Vita, LB Azeem Victor

@ Rutgers: lol W
vs. Montana: lol W
vs. Fresno State: Another OOC jobber to pad our record. W
@ Colorado: I think the Buffs pull the upset at home to dash our playoff hopes early. L
@ Oregon State: I believe the Beavers are still poo poo. W
vs. Cal: Sure, why not. W
@ Arizona State: This is a tossup since we never play well in the desert, but tentative W
vs. UCLA: God loving damnit Jim Mora is gonna beat us in Seattle isn't he L
vs. Oregon: HOLY poo poo WE FINALLY BEAT OREGON LAST YEAR. They'll probably be better this year but gently caress it let's start a new streak W
@ Stanford: Nah, don't see it happening on the road. The Cardinal clinch the North here. L
vs. Utah: This team is always a tough out but I think we'll squeeze it out. W
vs. Washington State: Mike Leach seems to have no interest in taking the Apple Cup seriously. W


Best case: 11-1, beat Oregon again, repeat as Pac-12 champs.
What I expect: 9-3, hang around the Top 25 all year, win our bowl game.
Worst case: 7-5, We lose all our tossup games and annoying fans try to make "Seven Win Pete" a thing.

Benne fucked around with this message at 09:02 on Jul 23, 2017

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
This seems early but whatev

Iowa came back to earth a bit last year after the batshit insane 2015 season where they started 12-0 and came a couple feet from making the playoff. There were some really bad moments (losing to a FCS school, getting thumped in another bowl, and, most shamefully of all, only beating Rutgers by 7) but also some really good one (smashing ISU and Nebraska, upsetting Michigan in one of the best wins in program history). Overall it was a solid but fatally flawed team. Once Matt Vandeberg got hurt we had no passing game at all which made the offense even worse than usual (despite a great run game) and put a ton of pressure on the defense, which was very good but not quite great.

This year they lose a few key stars from the last two seasons (CJ Beathard, Jaleel Johnson, and Desmond King most notably), but there is still some reason for optimism. The best Iowa teams lean heavily on the run and this might be the best Iowa running game since Shonn Greene. We bring back 5 players with significant starting experience on the offensive line, and Akrum Wadley at RB. Wadley was one of the best players in the Big Ten on a per play basis last year and after a couple years of splitting carries he's now the unquestioned starter and star of the offense. He's one of the most fun to watch players we've ever had so I can't wait to see what he does this year. We also added a really good grad transfer to back him up in James Butler, who is coming off consecutive 1,300 yard seasons at Nevada.

The defense should also be pretty good again. Johnson is a big loss but we bring back quite a bit of talent on the defensive line, most notably DE Anthony Nelson who is coming off a great Freshman season and looks like the best pass rusher we've had since Adrian Clayborn. We also add a 5 star DL recruit in AJ Epenesa, who is probably the best recruit Ferentz has ever landed. Behind them we bring back all 3 starting linebackers from last year, including Josey Jewell, who has been among the best players at the position in the country the last couple seasons (despite being robbed of a first team all conference slot)

There are some worries though. The QB spot is still undecided, which is a concern. And while Vandeberg returns at receiver he is almost literally the only player on the team who has actually caught a college pass. Unless a freshman steps up or we find a creative way to use our army of tight ends (and or new OC was TE coach for the patriots during the Gronk/Hernandez years so it's possible) the passing game is probably going to be bad again, though hopefully a little less bad now that Greg Davis is gone. Defensive back is also a potential concern. We're breaking in new corners, although both guys played a lot last year and seem pretty promising. Safety looks really bad though, especially since last year's starter at FS tore an ACL in the spring.

Anyway predictions!

vs Wyoming- W. Wyoming is pretty good so I wouldn't be shocked if we lost but I think we'll probably pull it out. I don't think Josh Allen is as a good a college QB as he is a pro prospect and they lost a decent bit of talent on offense around him. I do wish we started with an easier game but oh well.

@ Iowa State- it won't be a blowout like last year and I don't love having a first year starting QB make his first road start here but probably still a W. There's still a pretty significant talent gap, especially at the line of scrimmage. I don't really get why ISU is getting dark horse bowl team hype. They'll probably be a bit better but they still have a really bad Oline and they're starting last year's QB at linebacker. I think we can grind one out on the ground unless whoever plays QB completely shits himself and turns it over a ton.

vs North Texas- Easiest W on the schedule. UNT is really really bad.

vs Penn State - Oof that's a lovely way to start conference play. L. Hopefully a bit more competitive than last year, but we can't keep up with that offense.

@ Michigan State- W. These games are usually really close and hard fought but MSU is a loving mess right now and the defense has been steadily regressing since Narduzzi left. I think we should pull it out.

vs Illinois- W Illinois might be the worst non-Rutgers team in the conference. Maybe they'll actually get to kickoff this year though.

@ Northwestern- L. NW brings a lot of last year's team back and they kinda kicked the poo poo out of us. Plus they always have our number. We definitely have a chance but if I had to bet I'd say loss.

vs Minnesota- One of the biggest toss ups on the schedule, but I think W. Minnesota should be solid but with a first year coach and the game being at home I think we have the edge. Plus I think there's a decent chance Fleck is a Brady Hoke type who struggles when he can't recruit a huge talent advantage for himself, and he seems like a dude who Ferentz will really want to beat.

@ OSU- L. Someday I like to dream that we will beat OSU again but alas this is not the year.

@ Wisconsin- L. This is not a fun two game stretch! This game is usually really competitive and i don't like the DC hire they made, but ultimately I don't think we're at quite the same level yet. Expect some sort of awful 13-10 type game.

vs Purdue- W Brohm was an amazing hire and I'm terrified of playing his offense regularly, but he doesn't have the horses yet. Give him two years though and I think he might build a team that is at the very least a pain in the rear end to play against.

at Nebraska- Toss up but I think we're probably due for a L. It would be dope if we ran all over them again though.

Overall: 7-5. Somewhere between 6-8 wins feels about right, which is a fairy typical Ferentz season. Best case is probably like 9-3 or maaaaaaaybe 10-2 if we beat Wisconsin. Worst case is probably like 5 wins unless a bunch of people get hurt or QB is an even bigger disaster that my already super low expectations.

MourningView fucked around with this message at 07:43 on Jul 22, 2017

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







Georgia will lose to Appalachian State to open the season.

LiquidFriend
Apr 5, 2005

Mizzou:

We suck, fire Odom.

Will still somehow beat Bert at the end of the season.

HannibalBarca
Sep 11, 2016

History shows, again and again, how nature points out the folly of man.
University of Georgia:

Game 1: App State - 85/15
Theoretically should be a fairly simple game to start off the season, but if the problems that the team had last year haven't actually been resolved, this could quite possibly turn into a disaster.

Game 2: @Notre Dame - 35/65
I don't know (or care) much about how Notre Dame's team looks this year, or how it looked last year (I think they were bad?), but it'll be an away game against a prestige program on national TV, and any two of those three have often boded ill for Georgia. Not optimistic

Game 3: Samford - 99/1
UGA almost blew it against Nichols State last year, but I'm fairly confident that won't happen here. Samford is....not a good football team.

Game 4: Mississippi State - 70/30
Miss. State has a reputation of making a lot happen with pretty scant resources, but I think that the home field advantage will give us a comfortable edge here. Of course, either team could be much worse or much better than I thought, making a hilarious blowout for either side possible.

Game 5: @Tennessee - 20/80
I always assume the worst when Georgia plays Tennessee, and even getting out of Knoxville with a win is usually a Pyrrhic victory where we lose 2 or 3 starters to turf goblins.

Game 6: @ Vanderbilt - 75/25
Vanderbilt has certainly beat us before, and I wouldn't be too terribly shocked if they did it again, but I don't think that we're gonna let them get away with beating us two years in a row. Of course, if this year's Georgia team is as bad or (god forbid) worse than last year's, well...

Game 7: Missouri - 55/45
Our games against Mizzou have often been close-run affairs, no matter where they've been played (with two exceptions, one blowout each for both team, ironically at the other team's stadium). I doubt that that will change, and think that, like most editions of this series, it'll come down to who's less tired/more lucky in the 4th quarter.

Game 8: Florida - 10/90
I only have a working memory of 5 Georgia wins over Florida for my entire life. Not gonna get my hopes up.

Game 9: South Carolina - 70/30
Home field advantage, plus this series seems a bit less intimidating with Spurrier gone. That's not to say that Muschamp didn't humiliate us twice over during his tenure at Florida, but USC is not UF, in terms of either resources or the fear it seems to inspire among the troops.

Game 10: @Auburn - 55/45
As with every pre-season, Auburn is expected to be a contender for the SEC title this year. Maybe they're right (I don't buy it), but Georgia has been very frequently able to derail even some very promising Auburn seasons (and would have derailed the 2013 season if not for some truly insane all-time historic bullshit luck). Home field advantage also seems to be a non-factor in this rivalry.

Game 11: Kentucky - 75/25
Kentucky has gotten better in the past few years, but I still assume that they're a fairly easy foe to overcome. Georgia could have trouble if this is a sleepy noontime kickoff, or, as I've said above, if the team is worse than I expect it to be.

Game 12: @Georgia Tech - 60/40
Recent history in this series has Georgia doing all it can to lose games in the final five minutes, and Georgia Tech only occasionally capitalizing on those gifts. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully the team is hungry for revenge from last year, and hopefully the season wasn't such a shitshow that we'll still have something to play for besides pride. Or a bowl berth.

This gives me a (very low confidence) prediction of a 9-3 record, which seems right in line with the Georgia I've known and loved for the past 20 years. As a side note, our home game schedule is DIRE, like Jesus those are some bad games.

Coco13
Jun 6, 2004

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Wisconsin Badgers
2016 was a year that was supposed to be a massive step back. Games against LSU, at Michigan State Michigan Iowa and Northwestern, and hosting Ohio State and Nebraska made the Badgers bowl streak look like an unsure mark. But holy loving poo poo, they beat LSU on a perfect day, they roll Michigan State and only lose regular season games against Michigan and Ohio State by a TD, and just miss a Rose Bowl berth in a hell of a game against Penn State. A season that started off with a realistic December bowl ended as Cotton Bowl champs.

Key departures: Corey Clement, a more workmanlike running back than Wisconsin's had in a while graduates, as does DIII transfer turned All-American Ryan Ramczyk. Bart Houston split time at QB in the middle of the season, but ended the season with a win against Western Michigan. Defensively, the last Watt joined the family profession, as did Vince Biegel and a pair of safeties.

Offense
Gary Anderson's scheme of spread-to-run didn't gel with the Wisconsin hallmark of pounding the ball down opponents throats, and his recruiting and development of offensive line talent left a rather bare cupboard for Paul Chryst up front when he rejoined his alma matter. It took 3 years but it looks like that unit's back to what Badgers expect. There's about 8 lineman that will see usage, and my guess is fall camp will be figuring out what combinations work best together. The running back spot figures to be a heavy rotation of Shaw, Deal and James, with no clear favorite right now. At QB, Alex Hornibrook returns. He had issues with poor arm strength, which coupled with being a redshirt freshman splitting reps created too many picks. If he can create some zip on his passes, he'll take advantage of a pretty-good-for-Wisconsin receiving corp. The standout is TE Troy Fumagalli - tight ends have been a focal point for Chryst as a safety blanket in the passing game, and this is one of the most reliable he's had in some time. Jazz Peavy will probably be the second passing option as a WR, with Quintez Cephus as the home run threat.

Defense
3rd defensive coordinator in 3 years. Dave Aranda begot Justin Wilcox, who begot Jimmy Leonhard. I was a student when Leonhard played at Wisconsin. I tell myself I'm not old, he's just young. It helps.
There's a wealth of talent in the front 7 - the entire defensive line returns, as do 7 linebackers that saw significant action. They'll have to attack and keep pressure off the secondary, as the Big 10 championship game showed there's opportunities for deep passes if they get time.

Special Teams
Rafael Gaglianone is back, which means 50 yard field goal makes and sambas are back as well. Punting wasn't a strong suit, and returning any sort of kick hasn't been a strong point in a while.

Schedule
Well, we don't play 4 preseason top 12 teams.
1-Sep Utah State - Upside - night game! Downside - on a Friday. Win.
9-Sep Florida Atlantic - Kiffykins! Win.
16-Sep at BYU - 75% Win. Road game and everyone's sober. Not Wisconsin's strength.
30-Sep Northwestern - 80% Win. Maybe a ranked matchup? Northwestern has Nevada, at Duke and Bowling Green and could backdoor into a ranking by the fifth week.
7-Oct at Nebraska - 70% Win. We've lost to Nebraska once. Should be a good game there though.
14-Oct Purdue - Win. Scott Starks killed the Boilermakers 13 years ago.
21-Oct Maryland - Win.
28-Oct at Illinois - Win.
4-Nov at Indiana - Win. Maybe if they didn't have a new coach, I'd feel shaky.
11-Nov Iowa - 80% Win. I'm worried Iowa will keep the streak of 'road team wins even though they probably really shouldn't' alive in this matchup. (Seriously - away has won since 2009, 6 straight games.)
18-Nov Michigan - 65% Win. Last year, Wisconsin was incredibly spoiled by the home schedule - even with just 6 games, they included night games against Nebraska and Ohio State and 2:30 games against Illinois and Minnesota. This year, the Michigan game dwarfs all others. They'll be the best team we face, Michigan will probably win every game outside of @PSU so they'll be highly ranked, and they haven't played in Madison since loving 2009. (I've seen Michigan as many times as Nebraska, figure that out.) This is going to be a hell of an atmosphere, and we better loving pull it out.
25-Nov at Minnesota - 80% Win. PJ Fleck might have something going by the last game of the season, but Minnesota is only in the middle of the Big 10 West because Illinois and Purdue have the bottom spots locked down.

Prediction, 11-1 because I don't have full confidence in Hornibrook or Leonhard yet, but we do win the West and beat Ohio State or lose to Penn State in Indy and win a great bowl or lose in the playoff.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

The Notorious ZSB posted:

It wouldn't be one of these threads without a whole prediction full of BOOMER SOONER.

Also somehow forgot to mention in the Vols preview, but Smoky dog remains a very good dog. Perhaps the best dog mascot rip MACTION PUP.
Smokey owns

Judgy Fucker
Mar 24, 2006

Oklahoma Sooners

For the first time that I've been aware that OU football was A Thing, Bob Stoops is not the head football coach. I am cautiously optimistic for Lincoln Riley, though part of that is the probably misguided hope that he, like Bob before him and other coaches elsewhere, will overperform with the talent he inherits for the first couple years.

The offense, while losing 3 of the top 4 playmakers, should still be fairly potent behing returning Heisman finalist Baker Mayfield and what is being billed as possibly the best O-line in the country. The defense will be...probably much the same defense OU has fielded the last decade. Not horrible, but not really what's needed to compete for a national championship.

Week 1: UTEP 98%
Players will probably be pretty jacked up for Riley's inaugural game as HC. OU has come out slow in openers before, but don't see it happening here.

Week 2: @Ohio State 40%
I'm more optimistic about this one than most, but even so tOSU still likely has this. I'm optimistic for a few reasons, not the least because I'm going to the game and please dear God let us loving beat Ohio State while I'm in Columbus with dad please dear Jesus

Week 3: Tulane 85%
Should be another comfortable win, but Tulane is better than UTEP and the hangover from Ohio State could be pretty rough.

Week 4: @Baylor 70%
gently caress Baylor

Week 5: BYE

Week 6: Iowa State 90%
Iowa State will be improved, but we'll win this.

Week 7: Texas @ Dallas 60%
First time since 1947 both OU and Texas have new coaches in the same year. Herman certainly had our number in last year's opener, but I don't know if that was more him or more us being asleep for the game. OU has the better squad than Texas, but this game--like all good rivalries--is always loving weird and who the hell knows.

Week 8: @Kansas State 35%
This one has L written all over it. I imagine this is Snyder's last year, and this is his best squad in a few seasons. Week after Texas.

Week 9: Texas Tech 95%
We avenge our first conference loss on unfortunately hapless Tech by blowing their doors off.

Week 10: @Oklahoma State 50%
It's always the same bullshit with the 'Pokes. THIS IS THEIR YEAR! Until they lose to Iowa State or Central Michigan or something. That said, they're supposed to be good this year, the game is in Stillwater, and Gundy has in fact beaten OU TWO TIMES in 12 years!

Week 11: TCU 65%
TCU is usually a weird one for us. I could see this one going any which way, especially depending on how the Bedlam game turns out.

Week 12: @Kansas 90%
Kansas may be better this year, but not better enough.

Week 13: WVU 75%
Holgorson always fields competent teams, but I don't think the Mountaineers get their first Big 12 win against OU this year. If, however, OU has already lost 3 or so games by this point, the chances of WVU increase dramatically.

Big 12 Championship Game: Oklahoma State 50%
Whoever wins the regular season tilt loses this one.

Expected pre-bowl record: 10-3. 1 (or no) losses and a playoff berth definitely within the realm of possibility.

Judgy Fucker
Mar 24, 2006

Quote =/= edit

Real Name Grover
Feb 13, 2002

Like corn on the cob
Fan of Britches
I wanted to resist doing Nebraska; it's not so much about the schedule, but rather not having a clue what this team is capable of.

On offense, QB Tanner Lee could be a capable game manager — hell, maybe he is a future 5th round draft pick — but who the fuuuuuck knows. Looks like RB by committee, as Terrell Newby has graduated. Six of our 10 leading receivers from last season are gone, too. The line ... will probably be OK, I think.

On the other side, Bob Diaco, who I thought was a really good hire, is switching to a 3-4. I don't know if we have the depth up front for a smooth transition; we'll see. We had one of the better secondaries in the B1G before CB Chris Jones tore his meniscus a couple weekends ago.

*Deep breath, swig of gin*

9/2 Arkansas State — W, though I doubt it'll be comfortable

9/9 @ Oregon — Tossup, because who the hell knows what Oregon will do this season, too

9/16 N. Illinois — W

9/23 Rutgers — W

9/29 @ Illinois — :siren: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS :siren: Oh who cares, gonna still say W

10/7 Wisconsin — L; even though this one's gone down to the wire the past couple of years, they'll be the better team

10/14 Ohio State — L Ouch

10/28 @ Purdue — W I figure Brohm won't have gotten it figured out by now

11/4 Northwestern — W, keeping the division's coveted second place slot up in the air for another week, maybe

11/11 @ Minnesota — Tossup, speaking of coaches having figured things out by now ... not sure what to make of this team, either.

11/18 @ Penn State — L; I have my doubts they'll be able to recreate last year's magic but still a good team in a lovely place to play

11/24 Iowa — like MV said, we're probably due for a win, but I'm calling tossup depending on what/if we have anything to play for at this point.

Best case: 10-2 and a potential backing-into of the CCG, depending on Wisky's season
Worst case: Total disarray, 4-8, a new AD and a Scott Frost homecoming.
Hold a gun to my head and I'll say: 7-5

Real Name Grover fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Aug 8, 2017

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


BOWLING FUCKIN" GREEN YALL. gently caress P5, GET MACTION

I genuinely don't know what the story will be this year. We lost so much loving talent when Dino left for Syracuse and that didn't help. Mike Jinks does seem to know what he's doing, but has a super young staff and last year was just a perfect storm of a mess. Still, they seemed to figure things out late and late last year BG showed off a run game I genuinely haven't seen in 6-7 years. Jinks is a hell of a recruiter and this year could be fun.

9/2 @ SPARTY, NOOOO - Woof. This is gonna be painful. Thanks for the paycheck! L

9/9 vs. South Dakota - W

9/16 @ Northwestern - Northwestern seems to be what you'd get if a MAC team had a B1G-level budget. This could be a track meet. Doubt we're winning but it should be an entertaining loss at least? L

9/23 @ Middle Tennessee State - Oh christ I hate games like these. They're either great or terrible with no in-between. Gonna guess win but this is probably a toss up. I have no idea what Middle Tennessee is like. W

9/30 vs. Akron. gently caress Akron. W

10/7 @ Miami (OH) - This is tough. Miami had a hell of a turn-around last year and took a disinterested Mississippi State team to the wire in a bowl game they had no right being close in. Hard to tell if that was a flash in the pan or not, but Chuck Martin deserves a lot of credit for turning Miami around. They've been an absolute disaster until last year. Gonna say we take it but man it's gonna be close. W

10/14 vs. Ohio - I honestly have no clue what to make of Ohio under Solich. They're fine but rarely good, they can over and under achieve at the same time in one year. They swoon and die every season right around mid-October. W

10/21 vs. NIU - Rod Carey is likely fighting for his career this season. I give us the edge only because it's at home but this is going to be close. W

10/31 @ Kent - God bless Paul Haynes. Probably the nicest guy in the MAC and deserves better than this situation. At this point I can't help but wonder if Kent ultimately wants to just concentrate on basketball. W.

11/7 @ Buffalo - I'd like to think by this point we've got things pretty well figured out. Buffalo was hideous last year. W

11/15 vs. Toledo - gently caress TOLEDO gently caress TOLEDO gently caress TOLEDO gently caress TOLEDO goddamnit we're going to lose the 8th in a row to them aren't we :smith: Rivalry aside, god drat has Toledo been spectacular over the last 8-9 years. I have to give them credit. L

11/21 @ EMU - Holy poo poo we finish the season before Thanksgiving :psyduck: I can't help but be happy for the Eagles after last year. Holy poo poo that had to be so cathartic for that program and any fan that stuck by them for the last like 3 decades. Toss-up.


BEST CASE: Jinks' system takes hold and the coaches get up to speed, now having had a year under their belts. Finally take a win from Toledo. Get back to the MAC championship where we could easily see UT in a rematch. Steal one at Northwestern. Finish 10-2.
WORST CASE: Repeat of last year's debacle and be lucky to finish with 6 wins.
LIKELY CASE: 7-8 wins. I have faith in Jinks for now and he quietly did a hell of a job on the recruiting trail. Being able to pull Texas and Florida kids to the MAC is no easy task and it should be a blast seeing some of them get to work.

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007


Real Name Grover posted:

On the other side, Bob Diaco, who I thought was a really good hire, is switching to a 3-4. I don't know if we have the depth up front for a smooth transition; we'll see. We had one of the better secondaries in the B1G before CB Chris Jones tore his meniscus a couple weekends ago.

Diaco was a fantastic hire and he ran a bend-but-don't-break 3-4 at Notre Dame. It needs your inside LBs to cover a lot of ground but if you can do that, it'll work nicely.

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?

Real Name Grover posted:

I wanted to resist doing Nebraska; it's not so much about the schedule, but rather not having a clue what this team is capable of.

On offense, QB Tanner Lee could be a capable game manager — hell, maybe he is a future 5th round draft pick — but who the fuuuuuck knows. Looks like RB by committee, as Terrell Newby has graduated. Six of our 10 leading receivers from last season are gone, too. The line ... will probably be OK, I think.

There are a ton of Nebraska fans online who get FURIOUS if you show the slightest doubt toward Tanner Lee, even though he was really lovely at Tulane.

Real Name Grover
Feb 13, 2002

Like corn on the cob
Fan of Britches
The counter to which has been "Yeah, but it was Tulane."

My fear is that he struggles enough in October that the pressure builds to start RS Frosh/almost-but-not-quite-blue-chipper Patrick O'Brien, who couldn't beat out Lee in the spring but has UPSIDE or whatever and we roll with the punches under the guise of building for the future

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
Oh i'm not saying he's definitely bad just because he struggled at Tulane, I just think the certainty that he's an upgrade on Armstrong is odd

OliverObtuse
Nov 30, 2005

ROCKET FUEL MALT LIQUOR, DAMN!

FizFashizzle posted:

Georgia will lose to Appalachian State to open the season.

Yes please

Real Name Grover
Feb 13, 2002

Like corn on the cob
Fan of Britches

MourningView posted:

Oh i'm not saying he's definitely bad just because he struggled at Tulane, I just think the certainty that he's an upgrade on Armstrong is odd

No doubt, especially with the aforementioned departure of a lot of our skill position guys

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

all-Rush mixtape posted:

Texas State Bobcats

Last year was bad. Very bad. 2-10 in the Sun Belt bad. Regardless, the Bobcats got the number one recruiting class in the conference. Will it matter? Well, we were picked to finish 11th in the conference, so.....!

vs. Houston Baptist - FCS opponent. W
at Colorado - Power 5 opponent. L
vs. Appalachian State - App State is the class of the SBC, and if they can get past Georgia (which is possible), they could run the table. L
vs. UTSA - the I-35 Rivalry resumes! Toss-up
at Wyoming - Not gonna happen. L
vs. ULM - Winnable, but not by much. Toss-up
at Louisiana - The Ragin' Cajuns have had our number seemingly since we joined the Sun Belt. L
at Coastal Carolina - CCU is new to FBS, but the game's there. Toss-up
vs. New Mexico State - Theoretically, we should win this. Theoretically. W
vs. Georgia State - See NMSU. W
at Arkansas State - Won the conference 6 of the last 7 years. L
at Troy - Troy nearly beat Clemson last year. L

BEST CASE SCENARIO: 6-6 and a bowl invite! Huzzah!

WORST CASE SCENARIO: 1-11 and our slide continues.

MOST LIKELY SCENARIO: 4-8 and forgotten by everybody. But hey, it's better than the last two years.

Well, we’d need to win 2 of our last 3 to equal my expectation.

We’re not winning 2 of our next 3.

Edward Mass fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Nov 10, 2017

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
i think Texas St will be pretty good once they give Withers another year or two to get his recruits up to speed. That was a good hire.

Anals of History
Jul 29, 2003

Didn't know about the Texas State vs. App State game. That's during MSU's bye weekend. Going to drive down to San Marcos to root for the Mountaineers from the cheap seats.

Michigan State (or what's left of it):
vs. Bowling Green - Christ, they better win this. If they don't, everything that follows is invalid. W
vs. Western Michigan - I'm assuming that WMU will have something of a hangover after Fleck left. W
vs. Notre Dame - I hope MSU wins because watching ND's coach act like a baby on the sidelines is great fun, but it's unlikely. L
vs. Iowa - They're going to r u n t h e d a m n b a l l through a depleted D. L
@ Michgan - Planning on drinking heavily for this one. L
@ Minnesota - Inverse of WMU. Tossup.
vs. Indiana - It's at home and IU seems to short-circuit towards the end of the game every time they play MSU. W
@ Northwestern - Here's where hope begins to die. L
vs. Penn State - Probably not. L
@ Ohio State - lol. L
vs. Maryland - Probably a W, but this is a good space for an inexplicable meltdown. Tossup.
@ Rutgers - See Bowling Green. W

Best Case: 6-6 and an all expenses paid trip to Detroit.
Worst Case: 4-8 and fans start braying for Dantonio's blood.
Likely: Honestly, I do think they manage to go 6-6 and stumble into a bowl game somewhere.

TheGreyGhost
Feb 14, 2012

“Go win the Heimlich Trophy!”
The 2017-2018 Ohio State Buckeyes

Last season, Urban Meyer exerted his dominance over the Big 10 by nearly winning the league with what can only be described as a double option offense with no forward passing game. No triple option. No vertical spread game. Just straight zone reads, swing passes, and handoffs. A gentlemanly way of giving every overmatched opponent you play a solid chance. People aren't aware of this and have chosen to believe that Ohio State was merely bad at passing, but this is a popular misconception that overlooks the program's deep commitment to sportsmanship and parity in true knightly fashion. Now, some programs chose to commit ungentlemanly acts against these noble, erudite Buckeyes, with such barbaric acts as blocking a field goal or refusing to allow the right of way to a running back attempting to get his 3 yards, but these hooligans and their cat-themed footballers will pay for their lack of manners in coming days. Let's examine the knightsindentured servants tasked with civilizing these barbaric hordes.

QB: Nobleman JT Barrett returns, completing his half-decade of service to king and country. Sir Barrett squired under a truly awful instructor the last few years and hopes to improve his accuracy on long-shots this year, having worked on his footwork. He's backed by Joe Burrow and Dwayne Haskins, both of whom have yet to experience combat. Burrow is a much better runner, while Haskins has far more arm strength. Tate Martell joins the merry band this year, known as the "half-man" of Ohio State football, being a 5'11" option quarterback with an amazingly bad tattoo before he even plays a snap.

RB: Sir Mike Weber bothered fans greatly last year, as he was great at grinding out minor yards but lacked the speed to get away from oncoming calvary. King Urban insists that he is one of the fastest lancers on the team, but this appears to be the myths and legends of old men drunk on ale and boasting of the days when they were a night. Young Squire JK Dobbins appears to be pushing for playing time, demonstrating the speed that the king claims Weber may have. They're backed by Squire Antonio Williams, who falls under the coaches ire for failing to understand the tactics that Buckeye men use in battle.

H-Back: Losing Sir Curtis Samuel to the imperial guard is unfortunate but shows the deep discipline and training such men learn serving their King. Luckily, two pretenders stand in his wake, Demario McCall and Parris Campbell, both of the lands to the north of Columbus. While neither squire has proven themselves totally, they offer diverse skill sets, as McCall shows great ability with handoffs while Campbell is the better receiver. Campbell will likely spend enough time outside that it's expected McCall may himself reach knighthood this year.

WR: An absolute cavalcade of errors plagued this unit last year. The hope is that their instructor has learned the mistakes of history and works towards a brighter future. It's expected that KJ Hill, Ben Victor, and Johnnie Dixon are the three champions of this group right now, with Terry McLaurin and Austin Mack right behind them. If the depth on the unit looks bad, expect to see newly inducted squire Trevon Grimes see playing time, especially in no ranged combatant emerges.

TE: Sir Marcus Baugh drew ire from fans and coaches alike for his love of ale and pipe, but he showed valor and strength in the field of battle last year, even if his teammates contributed to the margins of their victories more. Young squires Luke Farrell and Jake Hausmann will be asked to flank their knight this year, as traditional stablemate AJ Alexander blew his leg up in practice this year.

OL: Ruffians had little trouble storming Sir Barrett in his noble duties last year, as they failed to properly erect a wall capable of staving off opposing siege weapons for any amount of time, almost entirely on the right side. Left Tackle Jamarco Jones, Left Guard Michael Jordan, and Center Billy Price will likely all be future early draft picks of the football empire, though Jordan cannot leave until next year. Right Tackle Isaiah Prince performed as a man of privilege is expected to in combat, with overwrought grace and no ability to actually hit their enemy. One new man will join the band of 5 this year, likely Matthew Burrell or Demetrius Knox. It's hoped that the new flanker can spur the Prince into violence this year.

DL: A group of marauders and assassins hellbent on seeing the enemies of the kingdom destroyed. The good knights Sam Hubbard and Tyquan Lewis return to start yet another year, as do their primary backups in Jalyn Holmes and Nick Bosa of the divine House Bosa, praise be unto it. The middle will feature a rotation of 4 men, with Sirs Tracy Sprinkle and Dremont Jones likely starting, backed by Robert Landers and Michael Hill. It's expected that the youngest squires beyond these brave men will see significant time in decided battles, as nearly all of the aforementioned knights will be eligible to join Emperor Goodell's legion at the end of the season.

LB: Masters of the Round Dante Booker, Jerome Baker, and Chris Worley all return this year. All of them have starting experience and ride more swiftly than some secondary players in the realm. It's expected that they will have to contribute more heavily in defending against arrow attacks this year, as there is little behind them that is known. Squire Baron Browning is a young noble with more ability than most conscripted men could hope to have and will see time, as will Keandre Jones.

Secondary: Sir Damon Webb was the worst member of the secondary last year, taking many hails of flaming arrows to his sides and at times choosing to burn with them. He allegedly has improved his defenses, but this remains to be proven. His fellow rear guard will be one of Jordan Fuller or Erick Smith, with Fuller the favorite due to his superior conditioning and toughness. The young knight Denzel Ward will attempt to be the most recent champion of an order wrought with greatness at this level and the next, and he will be accompanies by fellow squires Damon Arnette, Kendall Sheffield, and Jeffrey Okudah in battle. The youth of the secondary could become an issue but traditionally has not while under the tutelage of Master Instructors Greg Schiano and Kerry Coombs.

Special Teams: It is believed that wayward son Sean Nuernberger, briefly demoted to service as a bard, may reclaim his honor this year, though he will be pushed by a young squire named Blake Haubeil. Departed champion Cameron Johnston will be missed, though his replacement, Drue Chrisman, is expected to live up to the unit name. Returns are likely to be handled by Sirs Parris Campbell, Johnnie Dixon, and Demario McCall this year.

Schedule

@ Indiana: Once upon a time, these lads were a threat to all we held dear, as their worship of a chaos god led to strange occurrences in battle. They have forsaken this tradition, and King Meyer determined to convert the former cleric of this deity to a more pure and noble faith. There is no threat from the favored sons of no god. (100% Victory)

Oklahome: These Sooners attempt to break their enemies with the repeated screams of the battle cry, bringing praise to the god of the plains. Their master departs and leaves a boy on the throne, yet we are to fear them? Fie, a true ruler does not abdicate his post mere months before battle when he carries upon him the weight of a whole nation and realm upon him. Their tactics may cause difficulty and stress, but the King always has a plan for the greatest battles he faces. (60% Victory)

Army: These honorable men play football as the lord intended, and their reward for this sportsmanship will be a fast, dignified death. (100% Victory)

UNLV: These men live only for pleasure and vice, and the wages of such a life are a cold, unfeeling death at the hands of a holy many. (100% Victory)

@ Rutgers: The pagan Ash attempted to leave the realm with sacred objects to create his own empire on the edge of the land. Unfortunately, Herman's holy shotgun was no longer in the keep, so he was forced to leave with Bollman's orb of lurching. And so, for the crime of theft, they were cursed to live as Bollman did, achieving 2 yards with closed minds to the idea of anything greater than such progress. Their cleansing will come at the hands of Ash's former master. (100% Victory)

Maryland: The bastard son of House Harbaugh attempts to rule in the east as a king, but he lies above a force greater than he could ever know that would swallow even his weakness up, if only he could harness it. Sadly, even the bastards of House Harbaugh must pay for their bad lineage. (100% Victory)

@ Nebraska: The peaceful king of the Huskers will likely welcome his foe in, in the hopes that this cordial gesture will result in King Urban letting his guard down. Then, the Huskers will attempt to strike. Due to the battles that come after this, a wound may be dealt, but it is unlikely to kill, at least in this moment. (80% Victory)

Penn State: This is likely to be a defense of the castle while also serving as a moment of vengeance for last year's treachery at the hands of the Nittany Lions. Though they may worship their traditions and past, we must not allow a culture that sacrifices children to an unholy god to continue unchecked. The devil worshippers remain strong from these barbaric acts, but once a man knows the devil exists and is in his home, it becomes far more difficult for the devil to enact arcane rituals and hex magic that bends wars to one's will. (50% Victory)

@ Iowa: Their King reigns longer than anyone across the realms, yet they have only a few trinkets to know this by. His reign has been characterized by strange, perilous events occurring when least expected, and the presence of such a battle only a week after taking on satanists will lead to a wounded team struggling (70% Victory)

Michigan Stats: The fate of all heretics is to watch their god and his favor leave them while their kingdom burns. Let the fate of King Dantonio serve as a lesson to all not to interfere in the natural law of man. (100% Victory)

Illinois: Little is known about this nomadic, childlike tribe beyond the knowledge that their King was once a noble in Goodell's empire. Unfortunately for them, Goodell's favor and opinion rarely casts its eye of fire upon the realm, preferring instead to monitor the Empire for signs of joy that he may take it from them. (100% Victory)

@ Michigan: Though I speak with the gift of prophecy, I am nothing without love for mine enemy. House Harbaugh continues to bring this kingdom to its former glory and restore the old ways of worship, but the people have only so much they can offer in this moment. Yea, mine enemy chooses to return to the faith, who am I to deprive him of a chance to see what faith, properly enacted, leads to. We are to be a shining light towards our brothers and lead by example. In such a moment, we will serve to embody and evangelize what just one year more in the faith may bring them. This harvest lies in the future though, not the present. (55% Victory)

Best Case Scenario: 14-0, champions of not only this realm but all others, as the king sheathes his sword, knowing that there there will be more worlds to conquer in the future.

Likely Scenario: 13-1, 12-2, Champions of the realm but falling short in the tournament of realms, albeit in the final battle against a worthy opponent.

Worst Case Scenario: 9-4 The lads under the tutelage of Master Smith and Master Schiano fail to launch arrows or defend against the enemy's hails. The lads under Master Studrawa fail to learn from history and are therefore doomed to repeat it. The kingdom learns that settling for peace in our time may lead to the rise of devil worship that will one day lead the realm to famine and plagues only for us to rise and excise it in the future.

The Notorious ZSB
Apr 19, 2004

I SAID WE'RE NOT GONNA BE FUCKING SUCK THIS YEAR!!!

That GreyGhost is arte.

HannibalBarca
Sep 11, 2016

History shows, again and again, how nature points out the folly of man.
Bravo for making me actually read a whole post about Ohio State instead of scrolling past in disgust.

RumbleFish
Dec 20, 2007

South Carolina Fighting Gamecocks


The much-maligned Will Muschamp had a solid debut in his return to the head coaching ranks, guiding an incredibly young and talent-deprived roster to a 6-6 finish in the regular season. Although we dropped an overtime heartbreaker to South Florida in the bowl game, attaining postseason eligibility was by itself impressive under the circumstances. That being said, our schedule is quite a bit tougher this year, and we're still very much in rebuild mode when it comes to talent and depth. This could easily be the type of season where the team itself keeps improving, but the record doesn't reflect it.

vs. N.C. State (in Charlotte), L: This is a pretty brutal season opener for us, since this is the most complete, experienced team State has fielded in quite a while. I'm gonna have to go with a loss here, although N.C. State and USC are spiritual siblings and there's always a chance the Pack fucks this up.

at Missouri, W: Mostly calling this a win because we beat them last year and I don't find anything about them particularly intimidating. It is on the road, however, so it's probably more of a toss-up.

vs. Kentucky, W: We've lost to UK three years in a loving row for some unfathomable reason. For the sake of my sanity, this cannot continue.

vs. LaTech, W: Four games into the season and we finally get a cupcake.

at Texas A&M, L: Much like we will never beat Auburn, we will also never beat A&M.

vs. Arkansas, W: Gonna be completely honest here and say that I don't know much about Arkansas anymore since we lost them as our permanent rival. But hey, they're back on the schedule again! The last time we played, we were an actual good football team and ground them into a fine paste, but obviously things are different these days. I'm gonna go with a W just because it's at home, I guess.

at Tennessee, toss-up leaning L: This is a weird one. We beat them last year when we probably shouldn't have; they beat us the year before that when they probably shouldn't have. We've historically played like a bunch of clowns in Neyland, though.

vs. Vanderbilt, W: As usual, this game will cause far more grief than it should, but as usual, it will likely be a win.

at Georgia, L: Our defensive line is still the Achilles heel of this team and there's just no way Chubb & Co. don't run for a million yards again.

vs. Florida, L: This is probably a loss because we looked really bad and disjointed against them in the Swamp last year, but I do think this is our best chance at an "upset."

vs. Wofford, W: Oh good, an in-state FCS team that runs the triple option. The last time we played one of those went really well.

vs. Clemson, L: Better luck next year, or maybe the year after that. It's gonna be a bit before we have a roster that can hang again, as much as that sucks.

Overall prediction: At best, we go 6-6 and get another bowl bid; at worst, we go 5-7 and everyone freaks out thinking we're back to being terrible. But as I mentioned, I really think this could be a season that sees a lot of improvement as far as the players are concerned; the schedule is just not as forgiving as 2016's. I'm preemptively preparing myself for the inevitable onslaught of hot takes.

MourningView
Sep 2, 2006


Is this Heaven?
La Tech is good

hifi
Jul 25, 2012

asu is either winning 4 games or 10

DJExile
Jun 28, 2007



this is phenomenal

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

hifi posted:

asu is either winning 4 games or 10

I hope you win a lot of games except two

RumbleFish
Dec 20, 2007

MourningView posted:

La Tech is good

Yeah, they're certainly not a true cupcake. It's just crazy how long it's been taking us to get to our first non-P5/"warmup" game the past few seasons. Everyone's always bitching about boring, low stakes games in the first few weeks and we're always opening against an ACC team and immediately following up with conference games.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH

RumbleFish posted:

South Carolina Fighting Gamecocks


at Tennessee, toss-up leaning L: This is a weird one. We beat them last year when we probably shouldn't have; they beat us the year before that when they probably shouldn't have. We've historically played like a bunch of clowns in Neyland, though.


Nah, Butch has been out coached by Will Football Genius Muschamp every time he has faced him so I wouldn't be worried

D.N. Nation
Feb 1, 2012

I'll be another one for Your University of Georgia Bulldogs



LAST SEASON
Transitional year with a new staff, freshman QB, atrocious OL, hype RBs who just weren't as great as they used to be, and WRs that were either 4'11" or couldn't catch the ball. I predicted 7-5 going into the year and Georgia...was 7-5, albeit in the weirdest way possible. Should've beaten Tennessee, should've beaten Georgia Tech, but also should've lost to Missouri, and could've lost to Kentucky and SWEET BABY JESUS Nicholls State, in the worst game I've ever seen Georgia play ever. This was a bad team to watch on TV, a bad team to watch in person, though one that still beat Auburn, which lol. Kirby Smart recruits like a beast but the jury's still out on him from a gameday perspective, something our nutso fanbase will tolerate a slow learning curve with HAHAHAHAHA no they won't. Defense was occasionally great, offense was normally bad, special teams were as lousy as they ever were in the Richt Era, even with a dedicated ST coach. There seems to be much much more momentum for UGA as a program off the field than on it, and it's here where I note that Urban Meyer's first championship came with Ron Zook's players, so watch yourself Kirby.

THIS GUY WILL PROBABLY BE FIRED AFTER 2017
Offensive coordinator Jim Chaney. The charitable reading of him is that he wasn't able to do what Kirby wanted well because the OL was the scrapheap that Richt left behind, but if Georgia's going to be throwing Bama money at coordinators and assistants and ballboys and such, the OC better have a higher ceiling than "OK, I guess, when he has the players."

PLAYERS TO KNOW
RBs Nick Chubb and Sony Michel both enter their 9th year in Athens, and both appear to be 100% healthy at the same time for the first time since the 2014 opener. This means that ACLs will soon be torn and weed will soon be smoked. QB Jacob Eason had a better season last year than Matt Stafford did in his first two, but Georgia fans are gonna Georgia fan, so people are clamoring to see the new shiny freshman QB, Jake Fromm. That'll do well for Eason's confidence. OLB Lorenzo Carter is still in Athens, still showing first-round-draft-pick potential every 6th play or so. DT Trent Thompson is good, and hopefully will be good to go after a weird drug reaction (OD? who knows...nobody's talking) episode in the offseason. Safety Dominick Sanders is another one of those he's still here? types who could set the UGA interception record in his senior year. This team's a weird mix of youth and guys who have been here forever.

THE SCHEDULE, CHANCES OF WINNING
Appalachian State – Jesus, why. Great opener, guys, reaaaaal smart. I would say at least it's a night game, but ask Tennessee how that worked out last season. 80%
@ Notre Dame – Ha ha, Notre Dame was 4-8 and lost to Duke and NC State last season, but it was a highly unlucky 4-8, and I don't think Brian Kelly's unlearned how to coach, enormous jackass or not. Road game, night game. Tough. 40%
Samford – Spoiler alert: UGA's home schedule is just the pits. In light of this, they've raised the ticket prices. Our AD is awesome. This should be 100% but again, and forever, GEORGIA ALMOST LOST TO NICHOLLS STATE LAST SEASON 95%
Mississippi State – Overrated journeyman DC and big ol' horse's rear end Todd Grantham makes his return to Athens; the last time Georgia faced him was in the '14 Belk Bowl where Georgia's TE coach called plays after Bobo left and Nick Chubb ran for about 300 yards. State does more with less, but sans Dak it's not that much more. 75%
@ Tennessee – I have been in the stands for Georgia's Hail Mary loss to Auburn, Georgia's Hail Mary loss to Tennessee, and also Devon Gales getting paralyzed; clearly I should stop going to games. From 2011-2014 Georgia sneaked out wins over UT and our bill to Satan was overdue I guess. UT should be demoted to the Sun Belt until they fix their ACL-massacring, WWI trench-cosplaying turf. 35%
@ Vanderbilt – Oh, I was also in the stands for this turd last season. Georgia let Vandy have exactly one (1) offensive drive of any heft and lost anyway, see: "This Guy Will Probably Be Fired After 2017." UGA usually plays terribly in Nashville, so expect a baffling 1-score...win, hopefully. 70%
Missouri – I forget who it was, but someone on the tweets said UGA's win in Columbia last season was like holding up a bank with a banana labeled "GUN." Sorry Mizzou, but you owed us for 2014. I figure home field takes it; hopefully a more watchable affair than 2015's 9-6 Schottenheimerfart. 70%
Florida @ Jacksonville – There's no use talking about this one anymore. 0.1%
South Carolina – UGA/USC last year was exactly the type of game that gives Kirby a stiffy. The offenses didn't really move the ball, the defense looked good, Georgia had about two long drives, special teams made a nice play, and that was enough. Also, it was short, and oddly drama-less given UGA's struggles in Williams-Brice. Muschamp was a lowkey good coach last season, but still, 65%
@ Auburn – Scratch that, this was the game that gave Kirby a stiffy last season. 13-7, no offensive scores for the Dawgs, and Auburn didn't have a first down in the second half. Richt quietly kinda owned Auburn other than a couple Hail Marys and a generational talent in Cam, and even UGA in its lowest point of the season made the Tigers look uuuuugly. I'm still going with the home team, but if UGA's got some big mo the second half of the year, we'll see. Auburn's got a tough back end to their schedule. 40%
Kentucky – Last year's win in the now-minted Kroger Field (snicker) saved UGA's season from really going off the rails; UK hasn't been good enough lately to do anything other than put up an honorable fight in a clear loss in Athens. 80%
@ Georgia Tech – Georgia was up 13 with the ball at midfield with about 10 or so minutes left last season and lost anyway, see: "This Guy Will Probably Be Fired After 2017." My first year at UGA was 2001 and the Dawgs have never lost to Tech in Atlanta as long as I've been a fan. Kirby knows what not to do, I would hope. 65%

BEST CASE
SEC East title, trip to Atlanta to get dumptrucked by Saban. We will also accept barely losing the division but getting a NY6 bowl anyway. Like the 2014 team was going to do until Richt called for a squib kick against Tech...there were legitimate tangible reasons why he was fired, people. Whether or not Kirby is the answer going forward depends on stuff like avoiding...

WORST CASE
Another 7-5 stinker with unwatchable offense and we're back to the Liberty Bowl.

LIKELY CASE
8-4/9-3, OK bowl, setting the stage for a must-be-awesome 2018.

D.N. Nation fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Jul 25, 2017

HannibalBarca
Sep 11, 2016

History shows, again and again, how nature points out the folly of man.
I appreciate reading the post of another UGA connoisseur :clint:

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KKKLIP ART
Sep 3, 2004

UGA gonna win the natty y'all go dawgs sic'um

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