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Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Oh also she only speaks Spanish so if you don't then no need for you to apply

Ride The Gravitron posted:

You first along with a short bio about you and what you would have to offer to a 57 year old woman in terms of a relationship




she doesn't really get out much. Her while married life was basically just working and taking care of my dad so she never really made friends. No guilt in your part cause my Dad's dead. Just want some one to show my mom a good time so she can be happy again. She's 57 but all my friends keep saying they'd dick her so I guess she's still pretty. Let me know, thnx.

Ride The Gravitron fucked around with this message at 00:10 on Jul 29, 2017

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Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker
is she rich?

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
No

Murdstone
Jun 14, 2005

I'm feeling Jimmy


I'll say about 1960.

mystery fluid
Feb 12, 2017

by Nyc_Tattoo
Pics?

Bob James
Nov 15, 2005

by Lowtax
Ultra Carp
Alright I'll be her juggalo.

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



It would be an honor to be your new step father

Elmuncho
Apr 22, 2006
Need pics

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

by Lowtax
Nope. I don't date any girls who aren't Ariana Grande.

ArgumentatumE.C.T.
Nov 5, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
does she appreciate foot massages, having her hair brushed, killing small animals, and plein air painting

if so give me a phone number

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Elmuncho posted:

Need pics




You first along with a short bio about you and what you would have to offer to a 57 year old woman in terms of a relationship

mystery fluid
Feb 12, 2017

by Nyc_Tattoo
I want to show her my dong. Send me her number or I can pm it to you and you forward it to her.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
Oh also she only speaks Spanish so if you don't then no need for you to apply

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009
I'd do it. Here's the pros about me for a 57 year old lady


- My dick still works
- Gainfully employed
- educated
- a dark mysterious past to allude to but never explain

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Oh also she only speaks Spanish so if you don't then no need for you to apply

You should of lead with this.

Grant DaNasty
Jul 17, 2006

Is she good at baking cookies?

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Jim Barris posted:

I'd do it. Here's the pros about me for a 57 year old lady


- My dick still works
- Gainfully employed
- educated
- a dark mysterious past to allude to but never explain

Thank you for applying however at her age I don't think she'd be intrigued by a dark mysterious past. She's at that age where she wants normality and stability in her life

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"
She's 57 mom wants some strange dick imo

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Grant DaNasty posted:

Is she good at baking cookies?

She makes a bad rear end upside down pineapple cake

Grant DaNasty
Jul 17, 2006

Ride The Gravitron posted:

She makes a bad rear end upside down pineapple cake

That's not what I asked.

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

hola mami. ;-*

Buccaneer
Jun 24, 2017

by FactsAreUseless
Imagine putting your joint in something the op came out of lol

mystery fluid
Feb 12, 2017

by Nyc_Tattoo

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Oh also she only speaks Spanish so if you don't then no need for you to apply

I am fluent in the language of love now let me smash

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

mystery fluid posted:

I am fluent in the language of love now let me smash

Ride The Gravitron posted:

You first along with a short bio about you and what you would have to offer to a 57 year old woman in terms of a relationship

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
Mucho gusto, me llamo Bradley,
(glad to meet you my name is Bradley)
I'm hornier than Ron Jeremy,
and if you wanna get popped in your knee,
just wipe that look off your bati face

You hate me cause I got what you need,
a pretty little daughter that we call Mexi, and,
if you wanna get beat physically
it will be over in a minute if ya…

so she told me to come over, and I took that trip
and then she pulled out my mushroom tip,
and, when it came out, it went drip, drip, drip
I didn't know she had the G.I. Joe, kung-foo grip

[Chorus:]
and it went - uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and that’s that lovin’ sound- it went uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and that’s that lovin’ sound

when I kiss Mexi, she makes me feel horny,
cause I'm the type of lover with the sensitivity,
when she, kiss my neck and tickle me fancy,
the right kind of lover on Sunday morning.

En el otro lado, es donde vivi,
con mi’hjita, que se llama Mexi,
su hermana, si me quieré,
y ahorita, tenemos un bebe,

Sus padres, sus tios, me trataron matar
but they did not get too far
un poco despues tuvé que regresar
con un chingo de dinero
cause you know I'm a star

me fui a Costa Rica
para tomar y sufear
platicaba con la raza
cause they know who we are

Si no me dio cuenta
then I bet you never will
you must be a muñeca
if your still standing still

[Chorus]

Me gusta mi reggae,
Me gusta punk rock,
Pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita,

Ponga la nalga en la aire if you know who you are,
Ponga la nalga en la aire y empieza gritar,

No tenga miedo, I'm your papi,
take your chones, y los manden a mi,
levanta, levanta, tienes que gritar,
levanta, levanta, tienes que bailar.

[Chorus]

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Tricky D posted:

Mucho gusto, me llamo Bradley,
(glad to meet you my name is Bradley)
I'm hornier than Ron Jeremy,
and if you wanna get popped in your knee,
just wipe that look off your bati face

You hate me cause I got what you need,
a pretty little daughter that we call Mexi, and,
if you wanna get beat physically
it will be over in a minute if ya…

so she told me to come over, and I took that trip
and then she pulled out my mushroom tip,
and, when it came out, it went drip, drip, drip
I didn't know she had the G.I. Joe, kung-foo grip

[Chorus:]
and it went - uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and that’s that lovin’ sound- it went uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and that’s that lovin’ sound

when I kiss Mexi, she makes me feel horny,
cause I'm the type of lover with the sensitivity,
when she, kiss my neck and tickle me fancy,
the right kind of lover on Sunday morning.

En el otro lado, es donde vivi,
(On the other side is where I lived )
con mi’hjita, que se llama Mexi,
(with my girl, who's name is Mexi)
su hermana, si me quieré,
(and her sister; she wants me)
y ahorita, tenemos un bebe,
(and we have a baby)

Sus padres, sus tios, me trataron matar
(her parents, her uncles, they tried to kill me)
but they did not get too far
un poco despues tuvé que regresar
(a little while later I had to come back)
con un chingo de dinero
(with a poo poo-load of money)
cause you know I'm a star

me fui a Costa Rica
(I went to Costa Rica)
para tomar y sufear
(to drink and surf)
platicaba con la raza
([I’d] talk to the race [Costa Rican people])
cause they know who we are

Si no me dio cuenta
(If you didn't pay attention to me)
then I bet you never will
you must be a muñeca
(you must be a doll)
if your still standing still

[Chorus]

Me gusta mi reggae,
(I like my reggae)
Me gusta punk rock,
(I like punk rock)
Pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita,
(but the thing I like most is pussy)

Ponga la nalga en la aire if you know who you are,
(put your rear end in the air if you know who you are)
Ponga la nalga en la aire y empieza gritar,
(put your rear end in the air and start to scream)

No tenga miedo, I'm your papi,
(Don't be scared, I'm your daddy)
take your chones, y los manden a mi,
(take your panties and send them to me)
levanta, levanta, tienes que gritar,
(get up, get up, you have to scream)
levanta, levanta, tienes que bailar.
(get up, get up, you have to dance)

[Chorus]

I think my mom might be a little too old fashioned to want you but thank you for showing interest

Buccaneer
Jun 24, 2017

by FactsAreUseless

Tricky D posted:

Mucho gusto, me llamo Bradley,
(glad to meet you my name is Bradley)
I'm hornier than Ron Jeremy,
and if you wanna get popped in your knee,
just wipe that look off your bati face

You hate me cause I got what you need,
a pretty little daughter that we call Mexi, and,
if you wanna get beat physically
it will be over in a minute if ya…

so she told me to come over, and I took that trip
and then she pulled out my mushroom tip,
and, when it came out, it went drip, drip, drip
I didn't know she had the G.I. Joe, kung-foo grip

[Chorus:]
and it went - uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and that’s that lovin’ sound- it went uhh
and the girl caress me down- uhh
and that’s that lovin’ sound

when I kiss Mexi, she makes me feel horny,
cause I'm the type of lover with the sensitivity,
when she, kiss my neck and tickle me fancy,
the right kind of lover on Sunday morning.

En el otro lado, es donde vivi,
con mi’hjita, que se llama Mexi,
su hermana, si me quieré,
y ahorita, tenemos un bebe,

Sus padres, sus tios, me trataron matar
but they did not get too far
un poco despues tuvé que regresar
con un chingo de dinero
cause you know I'm a star

me fui a Costa Rica
para tomar y sufear
platicaba con la raza
cause they know who we are

Si no me dio cuenta
then I bet you never will
you must be a muñeca
if your still standing still

[Chorus]

Me gusta mi reggae,
Me gusta punk rock,
Pero la cosa que me gusta mas es panochita,

Ponga la nalga en la aire if you know who you are,
Ponga la nalga en la aire y empieza gritar,

No tenga miedo, I'm your papi,
take your chones, y los manden a mi,
levanta, levanta, tienes que gritar,
levanta, levanta, tienes que bailar.

[Chorus]

i like that
May 22, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
Not sure if the guys here have jobs. Maybe SH/SC has more of what you're looking for.

Altared State
Jan 14, 2006

I think I was born to burn
Will she cook me beans and tamales?

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


I would date your mom but you will have to accept me as a father figure in your life

Zelder
Jan 4, 2012

57? only if she 5'3

*eh eh EH eh*

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

We Know Catheters posted:

Will she cook me beans and tamales?

H*CK yeah she will

Harald posted:

I would date your mom but you will have to accept me as a father figure in your life

Look I'm just trying to get my mom out of the house more, not include someone new into our family

Taut Lore
Jul 14, 2017
I want to know about your mom's taco

Does it have sour cream?

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Taut Lore posted:

I want to know about your mom's taco

Does it have sour cream?

She usually puts it to the side so you can add it to your taste

Tinestram
Jan 13, 2006

Excalibur? More like "Needle"

Grimey Drawer
way ahead of you, champ *WINK*

Dr. Snuggles
Dec 3, 2012

Tbh some of us (Pick) use this website more than others and I feel that I am unfairly subsidizing picks posting. Unless some kind of fee by post usage is enabled were basically instituting a forced welfare state of posting.
Does your mom like weak feminine males who post incessantly about how a return to traditional values is all that we need to purify our country of degenerates and immigrants?

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
No she likes alphas

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Ride The Gravitron posted:

No she likes alphas

Upon reflection I realize I might have better luck in FYAD

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Is your brother Microwave? If so I would like to apply.

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Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


Ride The Gravitron posted:

Look I'm just trying to get my mom out of the house more, not include someone new into our family
ok, then not interested I need someone who I can teach how to clean a carburetor and how to ask a girl out

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