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Twain. Mencken. Swift. Tyson? For me, you can't beat "I'll gently caress you til you love me, human being" just for the layers upon layers that are in that sentiment. Honourable mention to "I want to eat his children, praise be to ALLAH" What's YOUR favourite Mike Tysonism?
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Aug 18, 2017 19:43
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i thought the thread title was "mike tysons greatest tits" don't trick me into clicking threads anymore.
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Aug 18, 2017 19:46
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Mike Tyson posted:"I was fat and ugly. Kids teased me all the time. The only joy I had was pigeons." 
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Aug 18, 2017 19:48
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Spinal
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Aug 18, 2017 19:48
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bruvs be4 luvs
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The man is a poet.quote:I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard
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Aug 18, 2017 19:53
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There's always the Candian talk show he went on after he met with a politician there. His rape case was very conterversial, with evidence removed from the trial that was shown to several jurors after, all of which said "I'd have never convicted him if I had known that." You can see how that and the whole "career damaged severely and my fortune lost" thing would leave it a sore subject. Well, the host of the live TV morning show decided to allude to it. Tyson, as you might imagine, responded in anger. You watch as Tyson drinks it in, the host feels uncomfortable and tries to change the subject to standard fare cheesy morning show stuff. Tyson has none of it, calling him "a rat piece of poo poo" among other things, while his manager smiles calmly. It's pretty magical. "Mike this is live TV." "gently caress you. What are you going to do about it?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiJ-hLWoPQk During the height of his career, he was a joy to watch; a raving madman. Early on though, during his Olympic boxing days, he was a crying mess, weeping in fear before matches. It's a crazy change to observe. By the way, the rest of the "I'll gently caress you til you love me, human being." press conference is hilarious too. Probably the best line uttered in all combat sports, hahaha We also can't forget "My back was broken." "Your back was broken? How? Where?" [pause] "Spinal."
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Aug 18, 2017 20:00
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I thought the thread was going to be iron mike knocking motherfuckers out.
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Aug 18, 2017 20:01
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If you think that's sad, check this interview some time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhThso-PE_o He talks about his mom's drug use, not even being taught to wash himself, it gets deep.
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Aug 18, 2017 20:02
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"I've been robbed of most of my money; can I at least get a blowjob?"
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Aug 18, 2017 20:16
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Mike Tyson is a sage of the age. His statement that "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." harkens back to Helmuth von Moltke the Elder's observation that “…no plan of operations extends with any certainty beyond the first contact with the main hostile force.” or, its more popular condensed form of "No plan survives first contact with the enemy."
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Aug 18, 2017 20:20
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Robot Robling posted:There's always the Candian talk show he went on after he met with a politician there. This is so gooood Just watch his eyes after the interviewer brings up the conviction lmao. Genuinely wants to kill the guy
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Aug 18, 2017 20:23
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Nut to Butt posted:Mike Tyson is a sage of the age. His statement that "Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth." harkens back to Helmuth von Moltke the Elder's observation that “…no plan of operations extends with any certainty beyond the first contact with the main hostile force.” or, its more popular condensed form of "No plan survives first contact with the enemy." For the first time in my life I mentally read a quote from von Moltke in Mike Tyson's voice. Amazing.
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Aug 18, 2017 20:25
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dude was basically a real life version of every time a robot in a cartoon goes haywire and runs amok
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Aug 18, 2017 20:27
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He was on WWE circa 2009 and told that little midget he was gonna rip his intestines out and jump rope with them. Made me think
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Aug 18, 2017 20:28
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also it's a goddamned shame that people remember him as a wild animal and a nutcase because the dude was such a deadly combination of fast and technically proficient that it's almost insane to think of
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Aug 18, 2017 20:29
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He taught me how to knock a person out if I had to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APx2yFA0-B4 Or, be a mindless bull. I'm nether;
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Aug 18, 2017 20:32
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He has a PhD. Seriously. Honorarium for contributions to the English language.
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Aug 18, 2017 20:40
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_trSpg99yc Mike, why do you have to talk like that?
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Aug 18, 2017 21:47
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Mike Tyson's greatest hit will always be Mike Tyson Mysteries
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Aug 18, 2017 21:48
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWeD5KXx5WI
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Aug 18, 2017 23:32
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Probably Robin Givens
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Aug 18, 2017 23:35
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My favorite Mike Tyson greatest hit was when he beat up that old guy and forced him to say the racial slur https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMfn9ETOy_Y&t=2687s
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Aug 18, 2017 23:46
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Gungan Sex Toys posted:i thought the thread title was "mike tysons greatest tits" 
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Aug 19, 2017 00:12
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If you haven't read his auto biography, I feel bad for you. Dude grew up as a feral child in Bed Stuy. I think he might be one of the most interesting dudes of our time.
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Aug 19, 2017 00:24
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When he beat up Mitch "Blood" Green outside of that nightclub after he beat the poo poo out of him in the ring
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Aug 19, 2017 00:29
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Mike Tyson's Mystery Team is the best 15 minutes of TV ever.
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Aug 19, 2017 00:35
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VikingSkull posted:also it's a goddamned shame that people remember him as a wild animal and a nutcase because the dude was such a deadly combination of fast and technically proficient that it's almost insane to think of It SERIOUSLY is. Before Cus died, he was an actual machine, I think. boxing does something other sports are just catching on to; catching kids before or right at the start of puberty so their bodies can literally develop for the express purpose of boxing. It's big in Thailand for Muay Thai as well. They start young, knowing that what their life is going to be, is this one sport. That's what Cus did with Mike. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KrIQSoGVV0 Just, a fast twitch Incredible Hulk, peek-a-booing around and scaring normal people in his prime. Sidenote: No one mention how gay I am for Mike Tyson, i already get it, alright?
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Aug 19, 2017 00:36
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Grem posted:Mike Tyson's Mystery Team is the best 15 minutes of TV ever. ^^^
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Aug 19, 2017 01:59
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Gungan Sex Toys posted:i thought the thread title was "mike tysons greatest tits" 
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Aug 19, 2017 02:06
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"I wish one of you guys had children so I could kick them in the loving head or stomp on their testicles so you could feel my pain because that's the pain I have waking up every day." That was always a memorable one for me. Anybody remotely interested should watch James Toback's documentary, Tyson, because it is awesome.
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Aug 19, 2017 03:19
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Robot Robling posted:It SERIOUSLY is. A lot of people watch poo poo like this and think, "Whatever" but man, I really wish they would join a boxing gym. Those loving bags are heavy as gently caress.
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Aug 19, 2017 03:27
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I forget what fight it was but when I was a kid there was one of his fights and the dude he was fighting threw a combo, Mike ducked every punch by crouching like all the way down to the mat and then he just absolutely rocked the dude it was like watching a loving mongoose on National Geographic
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Aug 19, 2017 03:30
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Robot Robling posted:It SERIOUSLY is. That left hook to the body and then the left hook upstairs is crazy. Crazy effective too
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Aug 19, 2017 03:38
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mike tyson mysteries is a good show op
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Aug 19, 2017 08:51
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If aliens ever had us pick one perfect killing machine to compete in an intergalactic fighting battle royale, there is no doubt in my mind that Mike Tyson would be the correct choice
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Aug 20, 2017 02:50
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It's pretty cool that Mike Tyson's translators make it look like he's saying nice poetic things IMO.
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Aug 20, 2017 02:54
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He's fine. I think people need to stop messing with him. He does know a lot about pigeons. And prison. And boxing. And other things. Leave him be, maybe.
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Aug 20, 2017 03:08
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ElGroucho posted:If you haven't read his auto biography, I feel bad for you. Dude grew up as a feral child in Bed Stuy. I think he might be one of the most interesting dudes of our time. dang it, i didnt know he had an autobiography. i even read an excerpt from it a few years ago online but didnt notice it was from the book. http://nymag.com/news/features/mike-tyson-2013-10/ my favorite thing from the excerpt was how cus had him repeating "the best fighter in the world. nobody can beat me." all the time. i actually started saying the same thing to myself after reading that and felt a nice confidence boost lol. gonna buy that book now, theres a lot to learn from mike. pretty cool guy.
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Aug 20, 2017 03:50
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Monos Bullet posted:dang it, i didnt know he had an autobiography. i even read an excerpt from it a few years ago online but didnt notice it was from the book. All right, there are things to learn, but first of all you don't need to pay. He doesn't even get that money. If you wanna be like Mike, please just feed some birds for a little. It will teach you a lot!
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Aug 20, 2017 04:01
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the dude is willing to play a parody of himself in a cartoon. not like once or twice as a simpsons cameo- everyone has done that by now. but doing two seasons of a show which is mostly about how amusingly weird he is? i have to respect the level of guts that takes. it probably doesn't hurt that mike tyson mysteries is legitimately good, though.
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Aug 20, 2017 04:43
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