Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
Who will face Brock at Royal Rumble?
This poll is closed.
Kane 3 4.17%
BRAUN!!! 6 8.33%
Kane and BRAUN!!! 21 29.17%
Finn Ba.... :negative: 42 58.33%
Total: 72 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
  • Locked thread
Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



____________________________

Raw Results

  • Samoa Joe opened the show in the ring talking poo poo about Roman and the rest of the Shield. Rollins sent Ambrose to get Roman, and when he arrived he told Seth and Dean he would handle this.

  • Roman answered Samoa Joe's challenge, coming alone to the ring where the two immediately began fighting. The Bar appeared from nowhere to attack Roman, so Seth and Dean rushed down to assist but ended up getting beaten down by the other three.

  • There was a brief look at Sasha Banks' reaction to making history by having a wrestling match against Alexa Bliss in Abu Dhabi.

  • Mandy and Paige from Absolution defeated Bayley and Mickie James in a tag match. Before the match Absolution did a pretty awful promo talking about Paige's defeat of Sasha last week and their plans to show up the others.

  • Bray tried to do his typical spooky promo, intercut with Woken Matt Hardy having the time of his life, insisting he and Sister Abigail had crossed paths many times across history but she was addicted to the darkness. Bray declared that only one of them could survive, and Matt said he and his Woken Warriors would DELETE Bray. The segment was good but the pacing was upset by the inclusion of transitions between each Bray/Matt cut.

  • Drew Gulak met Enzo backstage to let him know that a different opponent would be found for Gulak and the shot at Enzo's title now that Rich Swann's opportunity had been revoked (obviously no mention of why). Enzo accidentally mentioned Nia Jax and looked concerned that Drew had figured out she was on his mind, but Drew assumed it was a test by Enzo to ensure he was prepared for anything.

  • Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas came to the ring to Miz's music, mocking Finn's entrance and laughing at their own joke. Bo jumped Finn before the match against Curt, but Finn still quickly won.

  • Kane did a promo backstage warning that he was going to defeat Braun tonight and go on to face Brock Lesnar at the next PPV.

  • Seth Rollins defeated Sheamus in a lengthy, back and forth singles match. Sheamus seemed to get through it all fine despite his current neck problems.

  • Renee interviewed Ambrose backstage about his match with Samoa Joe, with Dean taking over to fire up about how he was going to get his hands on Joe.

  • Drew Gulak was on guest commentary from the second-chance fatal fourway between Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali, Tony Neese and Daivari. Gulak was careful not to directly answer questions on if he would try to get the title from Enzo if he beats the winner of this match. Cedric pinned Daivari after a match that slowly built up in crowd reaction, with plenty of pin breakups by heel and face alike.

  • Drew went backstage to meet with Enzo where he "joked" that after beating Cedric he would become the new Cruiserweight Champion. Enzo informed him that they weren't friends and that Drew worked for him. He was cut off during his insults when he spotted Nia Jax, and Drew happily took at face value Enzo insisting that he loved the Powerpoint Presentations since apparently Nia does too.

  • Roman retained his IC Title in a really, really, really loving good match against Cesaro that everybody should go out of their way to watch.

  • Braun did a promo warning Kane he was gonna gently caress him up.

  • Asuka was meant to face Alicia Fox in a rematch but she did not show up, apparently still injured from the previous week's beatdown. Absolution came out but instead of Asuka just leaving this week, she stayed in the ring. Paige was bemused at this and sent in her buddies to attack, and Asuka managed to beat up all three before they finally piled in on her. Before Paige could get in any cheap shots though, the entire women's roster charged the ring and alongside Asuka to beat up Absolution and sent them packing.

  • Jason Jordan met with Kurt Angle to apologize but also insist that he should be the one facing Samoa Joe. Angle reminded him that he kept saying he was the only one who could hold his own against the likes of Roman, Braun, Kane, Joe etc but he also kept losing against them and that wasn't good enough.

  • Samoa Joe defeated Dean Ambrose after Ambrose got furious at Jason Jordan showing up at ringside and getting involved, getting distracted and giving Joe to chance to take him out.

  • Titus O'Neil and Apollo Crews welcomed Dana to Titus Worldwide. The Club showed up to mock them for being NERRRDDDSSS but they all scattered when Braun came stomping through.

  • Kane vs Braun went to a loving double countout and loud boos from the crowd after Braun knocked Kane through the barricade and they were counted out. Braun and Kane continued fighting afterwards, including both attacking simultaneously with the steel steps. Braun grabbed a table, Kane grabbed a chair, and Kane managed to get the best of Braun with it, but they both laid each other out with clotheslines when Kane was trying to set up the table.

  • Kane sat up, but then Braun did too which freaked Kane out. Kane tried to chokeslam Braun through the table but Braun powered out and hit the running powerslam through the table instead. Braun's music played, while Corey Graves asked who would face Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble - Kane or Braun (poor Finn).
____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • A recap of Shane last week closing the show telling Bryan that he would be special guest ref at Clash of Champions and that if Sami and Kevin lose, they will be fired from ALL of WWE.

  • Kevin and Sami, winning "Yep Yep Yep" shirts, walked around backstage introducing the "Yep Movement" to confused wrestlers and backstage crew, handing out fliers to "occupy Smackdown" and do away with Shane McMahon.

  • WWE Champion AJ Styles came to the ring to talk about Jinder and his upcoming title rematch at Clash of Champions. The Singh Brothers came out and promised they were done with Jinder, but AJ revealed he had seen them on Social Media still backing Jinder on the India tour, and beat them up. Jinder came out but backed off from accepting AJ's challenge to fight him in the ring.

  • Ruby Riott vs Charlotte ended in a DQ win to Charlotte after Nattie - on guest commentary - attacked Charlotte at ringside. The Riott Squad tried to destroy Charlotte but Naomi returned followed by others in the women's division who chased them off.

  • Kevin and Sami dropped off an anti-Shane flier to Daniel Bryan while he was on the phone with Shane.

  • Bobby Roode interfered in a match between US Champion Baron Corbin and Dolph Ziggler, hitting the Glorious DDT on them both ahead of their US Title match at Clash of Champions.

  • The Fashion Files took place on Youtube and NOT on Smackdown, with only a brief excerpt played to explain the match taking place at Clash of Champions between Breezango and the Bludgeon Brothers.

  • The Bludgeon Brothers murdered a screaming jobber and his less-screaming jobber partner. The screaming jobber was COLIN DELANEY! :aaa:


  • Owens and Sami came to the ring to announce the arrival of the "Yep" Movement. They called out the roster to rush out and join them in occupying Smackdown, but nobody did. Daniel Bryan finally showed up, told them they didn't understand the concept of the Yes Movement, but that he would be at Clash of Champions as the second of the guest referees. Sami and Kevin seemed pleased about this.

  • Rusev and Aiden English came out to sing Rusev's praises. Usos came out to mock them, then Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable also came out to mock both. The New Day watched on commentary. Rusev and English defeated The Usos.

  • AJ was being interviewed by Renee backstage about how he wasn't outsmarted by Jinder and the Singhs, then he got outsmarted by Jinder and the Singhs who rushed in and beat him up.

  • In-ring, Renee interviewed Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura about the motives of Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan, but Orton said it was as straightfoward as him not liking Kevin Owens and Sami and wanting to make sure they got fired. "Yep," agreed Shinsuke.

  • Daniel Bryan was on guest commentary and was immensely entertaining teaming up with Corey Graves to dunk on Byron Saxton throughout the match.

  • Kevin Owens pinned Shinsuke Nakamura after a ref bump saw Daniel Bryan put on the ref shirt and insert himself. Sami and Orton fought in and out of the ring and the distraction allowed Owens to hit the Pop-Up Powerbomb on Shinsuke and get the pin. Afterwards, they grabbed the mic off of Renee and insisted that they were the best not just on Smackdown but in the entire WWE.

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 12:40 on Dec 13, 2017

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
Here is your weekly reminder that Absolution is bad and quite possibly the worst WWE faction of 2017.

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


I'm placing money on a Kane, Braun and Brock three way at Rumble cause what everyone wants in 2018 is main event Kane

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Kane is going to be in a world title match in 2018 and I am so happy

boar guy
Jan 25, 2007

the setup for that last match was a whole lot of something building up to nothing

Under the vegetable
Nov 2, 2004

by Smythe

SatoshiMiwa posted:

I'm placing money on a Kane, Braun and Brock three way at Rumble cause what everyone wants in 2018 is main event Kane

What I want is Universal Champion Kane.

Dacap
Jul 8, 2008

I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower.

You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.



SatoshiMiwa posted:

I'm placing money on a Kane, Braun and Brock three way at Rumble cause what everyone wants in 2018 is main event Kane

This is 100% what happens. Kane eats the pin so Braun stays strong

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007


Kane's going to win the Title and beat Brock, win the Rumble, the mayor race, the IWGP title and the G1 all in one year cause everything needs more Kane

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Under the vegetable posted:

What I want is Universal Champion Kane.

Your
Universal
Champion
Kane

YUCK

Chinston Wurchill
Jun 27, 2010

It's not that kind of test.

DarkstarIV posted:

Here is your weekly reminder that Absolution is bad and quite possibly the worst WWE faction of 2017.

Every time I read about Absolution I imagine Tony Nese doing a Simon System infomercial gimmick with that name and it amuses me more than it should.

It also reminds me of how some song on that Muse album would make great entrance themes.

Jiro
Jan 13, 2004

So does this mean Absolution is now an underdog heel faction, now that you have the rest of the Women's roster kicking their rear end WITHOUT Auska's help?

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

It's not surprising that they clearly haven't put any thought whatsoever into an actual reason for Absolution to be there doing what it's doing or an eventual goal outside of "Paige wins the belt, I guess," but it somehow gets elevated to being absolutely amazing for me when I remember that they did it simultaneously on both of their shows in the exact same way with the exact same problems. It's the kind of thing you'd say as an overbearing smark joke about WWE booking.

Kane's gonna be the universal champion and Enzo and Nia are going to reenact the live sex celebration to usher us into a new Attitude Era.

achillesforever6
Apr 23, 2012

psst you wanna do a communism?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cwLgs0UelRs

Tomahawk
Aug 13, 2003

HE KNOWS

CarlCX posted:

It's not surprising that they clearly haven't put any thought whatsoever into an actual reason for Absolution to be there doing what it's doing or an eventual goal outside of "Paige wins the belt, I guess," but it somehow gets elevated to being absolutely amazing for me when I remember that they did it simultaneously on both of their shows in the exact same way with the exact same problems. It's the kind of thing you'd say as an overbearing smark joke about WWE booking.

Kane's gonna be the universal champion and Enzo and Nia are going to reenact the live sex celebration to usher us into a new Attitude Era.

i could be convinced that the raw and smackdown writers both came up with the same dogshit storyline at the exact same time independent of each other

RealFoxy
May 11, 2011

I'm not making a fucking QCS thread for this but seriously can we take a harder stance on Kiwifarms freaks like this guy, Jesus Christ seriously, you used to be better at knocking these creeps down. I guess ADTRW mods aren't responsible like GBS mods are.
Absolution's domination over the women's division made them look worse than the Corre ever did :downs:

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

It really gets me, even now, that there are people who watch people play video games for their own amusement instead of, like, looking for the solution to a tough boss or puzzle, which I never do cuz I am really good at games.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Tomahawk posted:

i could be convinced that the raw and smackdown writers both came up with the same dogshit storyline at the exact same time independent of each other

Smackdown has been handling them a lot better, plus those women are a lot better than the ones on Raw.

Cornwind Evil
Dec 14, 2004


The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting
Now, see, back when the Shield first split and the first Roman issues began to emerge, I suggested that the smart thing to do would be keep Roman in the midcard/edge of the upper card and have him feud with workers like Cesaro for several months to try and give him some more seasoning.

Well, uh.....better late than never, I guess?

Aphrodite
Jun 27, 2006

CarlCX posted:

It's not surprising that they clearly haven't put any thought whatsoever into an actual reason for Absolution to be there doing what it's doing or an eventual goal outside of "Paige wins the belt, I guess," but it somehow gets elevated to being absolutely amazing for me when I remember that they did it simultaneously on both of their shows in the exact same way with the exact same problems. It's the kind of thing you'd say as an overbearing smark joke about WWE booking.

Kane's gonna be the universal champion and Enzo and Nia are going to reenact the live sex celebration to usher us into a new Attitude Era.

Alexa is the only one they haven’t interacted with more than once so they’re not even steering towards a title match right now. It’s a total mess.

Also notably they still don’t have 2 women’s stories on Raw right now. They just have Absolution, nobody has even talked about how they had interrupted a #1 contender match that has never been resolved and put the title picture in stasis.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

like... why did that segment with paige not end with them standing tall after her lackys saved her from auska kicking all of their asses but being stomped out since was putting on an armbar

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

can't wait for Best Wrestler on the Roster Shane McMahon and his lapdogs randy orton and nakamura to put down rightfully annoyed employees Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn tomorrow

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST

Big Coffin Hunter posted:

like... why did that segment with paige not end with them standing tall after her lackys saved her from auska kicking all of their asses but being stomped out since was putting on an armbar

Because WWE wants to protect Asuka as well. Having Absolution beat down Asuka would make her look weak. Especially since Absolution as a faction right now is a massive joke, even before tonight's beatdown. Both Mandy and Sonya are really bad at pretty much everything right now.

DarkstarIV fucked around with this message at 06:30 on Dec 12, 2017

bartok
May 10, 2006



RealFoxy posted:

Absolution's domination over the women's division made them look worse than the Corre ever did :downs:

At least the Corre had the last ever ECW Champion, Ezekiel Jackson. What does Absolution have going for it?

RealFoxy
May 11, 2011

I'm not making a fucking QCS thread for this but seriously can we take a harder stance on Kiwifarms freaks like this guy, Jesus Christ seriously, you used to be better at knocking these creeps down. I guess ADTRW mods aren't responsible like GBS mods are.

DarkstarIV posted:

Because WWE wants to protect Asuka as well. Having Absolution beat down Asuka would make her look weak. Especially since Absolution as a faction right now is a massive joke, even before tonight's beatdown.
How to rebook that segment to make it work:

Mandy and Sonya get into the ring as Paige stares her down from the apron
Asuka beats both of them on her own
Paige begins to step in the ring and stare down Asuka
The entire women's roster starts to come down, Paige gathers Absolution and they escape through the crowd

Maybe have Asuka spin kick someone and start screaming angrily in Japanese for interrupting her fight

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
I posted it before, but what I think will happen with regards to Absolution is:

Paige will probably win the RAW Women's Title soon. Maybe Christmas, because they need to have some reason for people to tune in. Paige can then retain against Alexa at the Royal Rumble. Asuka can then win a #1 Contender's Elimination Chamber match or something, and then beat Paige at Wrestlemania. She can squash Mandy and Sonya before then, and put them on the shelf so they won't be at Wrestlemania.

In that way, it makes sense, as WWE probably doesn't want to give away Asuka vs Paige right now, as that could be seen as a Wrestlemania level program.

Waffleopolis
Apr 24, 2005

It's time....for the MAIN event!
Why won't Braun and Kane kiss? :(

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer
I thought Raw was really good! Seth/Sheamus and Cesaro/Roman were good as hell, I really liked the cruiser stuff and my only real problem with Dean/Joe was I dunno what the actual wrestling endgame is with Jordan. Also I guess the Rumble is a triple threat so Brock can pin Kane which is cool.

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Waffleopolis posted:

Why won't Braun and Kane kiss? :(

They'll have a blowoff feud after the Lesnar match. A literal one.

DeNomolos
Jan 10, 2013

mild mannered meatspin historian

DarkstarIV posted:

I posted it before, but what I think will happen with regards to Absolution is:

Paige will probably win the RAW Women's Title soon. Maybe Christmas, because they need to have some reason for people to tune in. Paige can then retain against Alexa at the Royal Rumble. Asuka can then win a #1 Contender's Elimination Chamber match or something, and then beat Paige at Wrestlemania. She can squash Mandy and Sonya before then, and put them on the shelf so they won't be at Wrestlemania.

In that way, it makes sense, as WWE probably doesn't want to give away Asuka vs Paige right now, as that could be seen as a Wrestlemania level program.

lmao, paige is going to beat asuka at the rumble due to some sonya and mandy interference, and probably on the preshow

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

RacistGuidingLight posted:

They'll have a blowoff feud after the Lesnar match. A literal one.

Is this? talking about penis sucking. [said quietly]

MJeff
Jun 2, 2011

THE LIAR
It was nice of Cesaro to lift Roman over his shoulders so Roman could flip him over onto his back.

Cabbit
Jul 19, 2001

Is that everything you have?

For the people who missed it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG1yId8FLOs

They definitely shouldn't have used the transitions for every cut, though.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

I like Bray and his creepy spookemups having the piss openly taken by Matt Hardy.

I still hold on to hope that Bo will get fed up of being beaten up as part of Miz's crew, and make the wise decision that he can get beaten up as part of his brothers spoopy crew.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005

DarkstarIV posted:

Because WWE wants to protect Asuka as well. Having Absolution beat down Asuka would make her look weak. Especially since Absolution as a faction right now is a massive joke, even before tonight's beatdown. Both Mandy and Sonya are really bad at pretty much everything right now.

Auska kicked all of their asses and was caught off guard, if you want to get both Auska over and the new hell stable over having auska kick all their asses but get beat down because she was going to break Paige's arm would be a good way to do it

realisticially auska and paige shouldn't be interacting outside of teases like they did last week

Blaise330
Aug 13, 2007

GOD'S FAVORITE CHAMPION
The Big Red Machine needs The Big Red Belt to end his farewell run.

Neodoomium
Jun 20, 2001

You are now hearing this
noise in your head.



Kane should be champion because this company is stupid and makes bad decisions all the time, so what's one more?

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010

~*4 LIFE*~
So how many weeks does Roman need to put on really loving great title defences for before the smarks accept him? :ohdear:

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Rarity posted:

So how many weeks does Roman need to put on really loving great title defences for before the smarks accept him? :ohdear:

He's been having good matches for two hundred weeks and counting. They won't.

Andrast
Apr 21, 2010


Vince permanently hosed Roman up by pushing him too hard too early

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Rarity posted:

So how many weeks does Roman need to put on really loving great title defences for before the smarks accept him? :ohdear:

If John Cena is any indication, roughly 2-3 more years.

  • Locked thread