Let's build a bridge

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Let's build a bridge

Jaded Burnout

Two communities sit on opposite sides of a deep river valley. We, the denizens of BYOB, have been tasked with designing the bridge which will connect these towns for the first time in four hundred years, and thanks to Gary's rich uncle, money is no object.

What do you add to the design, and why?

For my part it'll be cubbyholes beneath the middle of the bridge, where kids from both towns can hang out and play pokemon or shoot up heroin or whatever 8 year olds do these days.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 13:30

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# ? Apr 23, 2024 13:45

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

It's a suspension bridge, but it's festooned in fiber optics with millions of colors scintillating throughout the structure. There's a walking path on either side of the main thoroughfare for when people choose to walk or ride a bike across the bridge, rather than the main form of transportation, which is of course BUMPER CARS! That's right the main way to cross this bridge is in a bumper car, and you better not be in a hurry either because people will be thwarting you!

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 14:34

Farecoal: There he go

You're thinking too small! We need bumper busses!!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 15:23

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Farecoal posted:

You're thinking too small! We need bumper busses!!

double-decker bumper buses... :hfive:

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 15:28

City of Glompton

vending machines that for a quarter will dispense a handful of something innocuous (pebbles? fish food? ice cubes?) that can be thrown from the bridge because throwing things from high places is fun

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Feb 25, 2018 16:52

UWBW: Permanently banned from the Alamo

A loop-de-loop. You ain't crossing this bridge unless you're going 200 mph, baby.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 17:06

Jaded Burnout

City of Glompton posted:

vending machines that for a quarter will dispense a handful of something innocuous (pebbles? fish food? ice cubes?) that can be thrown from the bridge because throwing things from high places is fun

A dedicated poohsticks platform?

# ? Feb 25, 2018 17:29

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

City of Glompton posted:

vending machines that for a quarter will dispense a handful of something innocuous (pebbles? fish food? ice cubes?) that can be thrown from the bridge because throwing things from high places is fun

Those parachute men (but they're biodegradable/edible and not plastic)

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 17:29

Manifisto

I am not 100% sure what a cantilever is but it is a very important technical-sounding word and I think our bridge should have some cantilevers. let's order a pallet or two to start, we can always get more if we need them.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 19:01

City of Glompton

i'd like our bridge to be positive and cantilever sounds kinda negative, maybe we can have yesicanlevers instead?

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Feb 25, 2018 19:04

Manifisto

City of Glompton posted:

i'd like our bridge to be positive and cantilever sounds kinda negative, maybe we can have yesicanlevers instead?

of course! although it means our bridge will probably explode upon contact with cantilevers, so maybe we will need some signs to that effect

# ? Feb 25, 2018 19:15

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Gargoyles taking bong rips and playing Xbox.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 19:24

Jaded Burnout

Jedrick posted:

Gargoyles taking bong rips and playing Xbox.

Gargoyles are the ones with the big tubular mouths so they basically are a bong. Ready 2 go.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 19:25

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

"Let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill a chasm- and let me set the battlements with love"

This is the sign that greets travellers on both sides of the bridge, with a smiling picture of Sting welcoming them

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 20:26

Jaded Burnout

Splatmaster posted:

"Let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill a chasm- and let me set the battlements with love"

This is the sign that greets travellers on both sides of the bridge, with a smiling picture of Sting welcoming them

I like this, except maybe for the Sting pictures, it may put people off.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 20:41

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Jaded Burnout posted:

I like this, except maybe for the Sting pictures, it may put people off.

Alright, that's true- we don't want anyone to think there were any Police around because it would be unchill. Instead I propose the following on the sign:

"Let me build a bridge, for I cannot fill a chasm- and let me set the battlements with love"

-Sting (but he's not a cop since he'd have to tell you)

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 20:46

Jaded Burnout

Splatmaster posted:

-Sting (but he's not a cop since he'd have to tell you)

Right, otherwise it'd be a Police Sting.

# ? Feb 25, 2018 20:54

alnilam

Underneath the bridge is two ziplines one sloping each direction, in case you feel neither like bumper car nor sidewalk

# ? Feb 25, 2018 21:20

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

a hammock hanging under the bridge

_{Thanks to HotSoapyBeard for the sig image!}

# ? Feb 25, 2018 22:03

Manifisto

well a shift to a minor key may work, maybe throw in some jazz or blues inflections. we want to question the assumptions of byob, travel into new terrain, but ultimately pave the way for a resurgence of the main themes.

but chill can turn to winter
laughter may dissolve like smoke
there is emptiness in emptyquotes
still somehow we survive we thrive we overcome
for beneath this island there is a rock . . .

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 25, 2018 22:14

HotSoapyBeard: I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN

I'm a fully accredited hobgoblin
available to start immediately
answer this riddle I've just written
and hire me as bridge security

Riddle me this:
What's brown and sticky?

# ? Feb 26, 2018 09:48

Jaded Burnout

HotSoapyBeard posted:

I'm a fully accredited hobgoblin
available to start immediately
answer this riddle I've just written
and hire me as bridge security

Riddle me this:
What's brown and sticky?

My rear end.

# ? Feb 26, 2018 09:57

Rushi: by Smythe

what is the troll situation??

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# ? Feb 28, 2018 06:08

peanut

It needs a kebab stand next to the toll gate and poorly divided lines so you're not quite sure whether you'll be holding a bridge token or a kebab in 15 minutes.
Same, but gelato on the other side.

# ? Feb 28, 2018 06:24

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

A drive thru 7/11 right in the middle, just in case.

# ? Feb 28, 2018 09:55

Senior Management

This bridge must also be underwater and pressurized so that I can see the body of water that I am metaphysically sticking it to. Take that water we can drive over and through you now! And a Buc-ees's would not hurt either.

:jerry:

# ? Feb 28, 2018 19:08

peanut

Agreed and agreed and please let kind mexican men with ice cream and/or boiled corn carts cross freely.

# ? Mar 1, 2018 08:23

Miss Psychosis

Let's build a bridge and make FYAD pay for it

# ? Mar 1, 2018 11:01

Twenty Four

On each side, one of those warning signs like in my AV, but with a picture of a bridge on it instead of a bear. Just letting people know, you know, bridge.

# ? Mar 1, 2018 13:32

alnilam

Twenty Four posted:

On each side, one of those warning signs like in my AV, but with a picture of a bridge on it instead of a bear. Just letting people know, you know, bridge.

BRIDGE MAY BE CHILL

# ? Mar 1, 2018 13:36