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Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

A CompUSA had a demo set up for a driver’s test simulation. This included a voiced instructor in the car with you. He’d tell you to do basics like turns and parking, and got concerned if you ignored him and began speeding. The joyful part was he would start yelling if you drove in the wrong lane, on the sidewalk, or if you rammed a school bus. Then instead of saying “you failed” the game would display a detailed list of all your crimes and a negative score of how bad you failed. So fun.

There was a caveman simulation game that I think was Mac shareware. Your caveman was supposed to help his tribe by exploring an area. My main memory is that on the starting screen you are in a cave with your tribal elder and if you ask him “who are you?” it’s considered a deadly insult and he attacks. So instead of scouting for the long term health of my tribe, I staggered out of the cave after beating our leader to death over miscommunication, dooming us all.

There was an wrestling simulator that was all text and had real rosters. You could manage from a tiny regional promotion up to the WWE. You had total control over booking, from organizing interesting matches to drama like “Matt Hardy gets a mysterious phone call!” Your fans would react to each event and that impacted income and popularity.

I tried to organize a thrilling Smackdown but got mediocre reviews. So it became more fun to:
-Have the championship change hands five times in one night at a non-televised house show
-Make Brock Lesner lose to random scrubs until he jumped to a rival promotion
-End every match with the entire roster running into the ring to brawl

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me your dad
Jul 25, 2006

I played a side-scrolling arcade game about thirty years ago where you played a muscular dude who fought some sort of big spider in a cave. It seemed to have very good graphics for the time.

I had a free disc from a PC game magazine where you played a coconut who floated around and ate some sort of things (coins?). Each time he would say, "YES".

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Back in the early, early days of the internet - I'm talking like Doom and early Quake - I used to go to computer trade shows a lot. There, they'd have HUGE vendors full of "shareware," and also a bunch of random indie projects I could never ever hope to track down on google again.

It has long been my shame that I chose some lovely racing game over the Terminator game by Bethesda taking place in a huge virtual city. I've always wanted to play that game, but alas did not, so sadly all I have is youtube and stories of how ahead of it's time it was.

But what I did find there, a lot, were odd prototype game engines and early early 3D rendering concepts, virtual reality games, etc. This is back in the era when "Demo scene" guys were at the cutting edge of 3D graphics, doing things video games couldn't hope to. I found all kinds of stuff; the one I remember the most put you in a true 3D world (wow!) with true 3D characters and vehicles, like a military base, and let you just walk around the thing spawning stuff. There wasn't even really a game as much as "Check it out this is all 3D and you can run around on the whole map!"

I mean again, GTA3 wasn't even out yet, so this early 320x200 VGA version of Lawnmower Man graphics was something absolutely unheard of for me.

The really sad thing is almost all of that stuff, mostly, is lost to time. I might actually have most of it in a crate in my parents basement if the disks aren't completely crumbled by now, but pre-internet trade-show 3D engine demos and early VR games - arguably the precursor to modern 3D graphics - are barely even remembered.

me your dad posted:

I played a side-scrolling arcade game about thirty years ago where you played a muscular dude who fought some sort of big spider in a cave. It seemed to have very good graphics for the time.

Any more details? That describes half the side-scrollers of the 80s.

PS: Rolling Thunder is the best side-scroller of the 80s, to the point it still graphically holds up as stylized. Plenty of caves but no giant spiders, sadly.

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!

A sidescroller caveman game for the original Gameboy where you had equippable weapons and mounts. Like you had boomerangs, spears, and other throwing weapons, and then like dinosaurs you could ride to switch up your attacks like in Kirby's Dreamland 2. It was pretty fun if I remember.

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

1redflag posted:

A sidescroller caveman game for the original Gameboy where you had equippable weapons and mounts. Like you had boomerangs, spears, and other throwing weapons, and then like dinosaurs you could ride to switch up your attacks like in Kirby's Dreamland 2. It was pretty fun if I remember.
Was it Adventure Island?

Medieval Medic
Sep 8, 2011
An education game which I played as a wee boy in the library public computers in the early 90s. There was a carrousel with a rundown donkey and after each minigame or something, you could upgrade part of the donkey(head, legs, tail maybe?) into a horse, zebra, etc. I supposed the final objective was to make some majestic animal but i just remember creating a chimera of different bodyparts and animals.


Also a game where you have to platform/jetpack around the level(caves?) collecting parts for your crashed spaceship, in a similar vein to the lost vikings except less advanced graphics

Medieval Medic fucked around with this message at 18:34 on Feb 25, 2018

weg
Jun 6, 2006

Reassisted Retrogression
A racing game for PS1 that was essentially Wipeout but with wheeled vehicles. It wasn't Extreme G either. I think the cars could be flipped onto their roof and keep driving like those 90's RC cars.

I played the poo poo out of a demo of it on an OPM disc but never ended up buying it.

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Yes it was! drat, you're good.

Nefarious 2.0
Apr 22, 2008

Offense is overrated anyway.

a pro skating game where you played as a famous skateboarder, most notably tony hawk

General China
Aug 19, 2012

by Smythe

Medieval Medic posted:

An education game which I played as a wee boy in the library public computers in the early 90s. There was a carrousel with a rundown donkey and after each minigame or something, you could upgrade part of the donkey(head, legs, tail maybe?) into a horse, zebra, etc. I supposed the final objective was to make some majestic animal but i just remember creating a chimera of different bodyparts and animals.


Also a game where you have to platform/jetpack around the level(caves?) collecting parts for your crashed spaceship, in a similar vein to the lost vikings except less advanced graphics

Are you actually Scottish or prentending to be a “ Scot “?

The second game you mention is Jet Man.

You must be very old. If you don’t still live in Scots Land, then realise that you are no longer Scottish.

There is a sell by date on Scottish people. Londoners realise this everyday while they walk past them begging.

Chadmunkey
Jan 1, 2013

weg posted:

A racing game for PS1 that was essentially Wipeout but with wheeled vehicles. It wasn't Extreme G either. I think the cars could be flipped onto their roof and keep driving like those 90's RC cars.

I played the poo poo out of a demo of it on an OPM disc but never ended up buying it.

Rollcage?


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rollcage_(video_game)

kecske
Feb 28, 2011

it's round, like always

Medieval Medic posted:

Also a game where you have to platform/jetpack around the level(caves?) collecting parts for your crashed spaceship, in a similar vein to the lost vikings except less advanced graphics

Was it Starquake? I had a floppy disc of that along with bubble bobble and some other game where you had to fly a 2d spaceship back and forth over some factory looking backdrop and pick up astronaut scientists.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
My older brothers sometimes borrowed an Amiga and C64 from somewhere and I would watch them play.

One of the games I've never figured out was a game where a dude was sidescrolling through a jungle or something and at the end of the level there was a big helicopter that he either fought or got onto.

Another was a game where I think inbetween levels, you would charge up a karate chop by wiggling the joystick. I think the power meter you charged up looked like the life-bar in the Last Ninja; that square spiral thing.

weg
Jun 6, 2006

Reassisted Retrogression
Hell yeah, that's it! :hfive:

Apparently they made a sequel called GRIP a few years ago.
http://store.steampowered.com/app/396900/GRIP/

shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---

Nefarious 2.0 posted:

a pro skating game where you played as a famous skateboarder, most notably tony hawk

Hmmm, Skate perhaps?

Wall Balls
Jun 3, 2007

Spanish Castle Magic

i remember a side scroller for amiga 500 where you play as some hairy apeman shooting orange balls at enemies

DavidAlltheTime
Feb 14, 2008

All David...all the TIME!
I played some Spiderman arcade game in the early 90s that featured a giant Venom.
As I didn't know about comics at the time, but then I got very very much into them, I always wondered why Venom never used his size-changing super power.

Same with Wolverine & Collosus' bullshit special abilities from their own arcade game.

HELLBITCH
Sep 15, 2017

bad at posting
PC game where you played as a Doodle Bug and rode bugs that could walk on water and had to save a lady bug queen.

Had to collect keys and junk. Early 2000s/looked like janky CGI.

Das Butterbrot
Dec 2, 2005
Lecker.

Blazing Ownager posted:

This is back in the era when "Demo scene" guys were at the cutting edge of 3D graphics, doing things video games couldn't hope to.

They still are ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CnVtJ620jVU

Everything you see (and hear) is rendered by a 64 kb executable.

Das Butterbrot fucked around with this message at 19:52 on Feb 25, 2018

HELLBITCH
Sep 15, 2017

bad at posting

HELLBITCH posted:

PC game where you played as a Doodle Bug and rode bugs that could walk on water and had to save a lady bug queen.

Had to collect keys and junk. Early 2000s/looked like janky CGI.

It's Bugdom. Google suddenly decided to properly register a search I've been making for maybe 10 years now that I've posted on the internet about it.

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

Wall Balls posted:

i remember a side scroller for amiga 500 where you play as some hairy apeman shooting orange balls at enemies

That was Toki


There was a weird official NCAA Football game for Sega Genesis where after a play you could push a button to either remove your helmet to taunt, or kick a player. Doing either instantly drew an unsportsmanlike penalty.

Pakistani Brad Pitt
Nov 28, 2004

Not as taciturn, but still terribly powerful...



There was a networked PC game we played in mid '90s computer labs. It might have been shareware or something not from a large commercial publisher. You were gunmen in a 2D topdown tile based map/maze sort of like a Clue boardgame board or something similar. The gimmick was that everyone in the game submitted their turn-based moves privately, and then the server would execute them simultaneously, so you'd script your dude to go 8 tiles down, turn 90°, walk 2 squares, shoot, etc. I think it may have been called something similar to "Assassin" but I've never been able to find anything about it searching that.

Vargs
Mar 27, 2010

Side-scrolling NES game where you played as a dude with a sword or something? Vaguely remember a lot of black backgrounds. The intro cinematic had a fairy in it. idk what this game was, but I owned it and it's always bothered me that I have no fuckin clue what it could be

First game I ever remember touching in my life was one where you play as a fish and jump between fish tanks. I have no idea what system this was for. Fairly certain this was before I got an NES.

ditty bout my clitty
May 28, 2011

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe
Was the first one Trojan?

curlys gold
Jan 17, 2018

arcade game. its like chinese checkers or something with blue and red splatters but the “players” are hideous mutant aliens

Caganer
Feb 15, 2018
there was this light gun game that you also shot cds like grenades. i mostly remember that it was only 25c and stayed that way into the late 90s when other stuff got more expensive for some reason and didn't hand out cheap deaths like candy like area 51. also there were women in cages you could free???

Kak
Sep 27, 2002

Caganer posted:

there was this light gun game that you also shot cds like grenades. i mostly remember that it was only 25c and stayed that way into the late 90s when other stuff got more expensive for some reason and didn't hand out cheap deaths like candy like area 51. also there were women in cages you could free???

revolution x

Kak
Sep 27, 2002
I was going to post a description of the game I was looking for but I found it by googling "1999 pc game girl riding dragon"

Drakan: Order of the Flame and it was great.

Toughy
Nov 29, 2004

KAVODEL! KAVODEL!

A PC game that had walls like Wolfenstein? There were obelisks and you could change into a wolfman or beast of some sort.
I remember trying to get to this one section that had fireballs shooting from wall to wall and after many tries I was able to time the jumping to avoid death and I made it across with a sliver of health and I just waited for my health to regenerate to full before promptly dying around the next corner.

Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug

Toughy posted:

A PC game that had walls like Wolfenstein? There were obelisks and you could change into a wolfman or beast of some sort.
I remember trying to get to this one section that had fireballs shooting from wall to wall and after many tries I was able to time the jumping to avoid death and I made it across with a sliver of health and I just waited for my health to regenerate to full before promptly dying around the next corner.

Shadowcaster? I had that from a CD that came with the CD Drive my parents put in our IBM in the early 90’s.

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat
an old DOS PC freeware (or shareware) game i forget where you were a skeleton and you threw bones.

it was sorta like cave story but this game out like 15 years before that. had some minor metroidvania elements in it iirc (collecting items to open up new areas etc)

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

There was this cross country 4x4 racing computer game from the early 90s or maybe 80s that you bought fuel, tires and things before the race but that's all I remember.

Halp!

Duke Pukem
Oct 23, 2010

Three cheers for dark beer!


Hyrax Attack! posted:


There was an wrestling simulator that was all text and had real rosters. You could manage from a tiny regional promotion up to the WWE. You had total control over booking, from organizing interesting matches to drama like “Matt Hardy gets a mysterious phone call!” Your fans would react to each event and that impacted income and popularity.

I tried to organize a thrilling Smackdown but got mediocre reviews. So it became more fun to:
-Have the championship change hands five times in one night at a non-televised house show
-Make Brock Lesner lose to random scrubs until he jumped to a rival promotion
-End every match with the entire roster running into the ring to brawl


Extreme Warfare Revenge?

Caganer
Feb 15, 2018

Kak posted:

revolution x

YES



wikipedia posted:

Revolution X is an arcade rail shooter game developed and published by Midway in 1994, featuring the rock band Aerosmith. It features gameplay similar to Midway's earlier Terminator 2: Judgment Day. In the game, players battle the oppressive New Order Nation regime and their leader Helga, who have abducted Aerosmith. Players use a mounted gun to control onscreen crosshairs and shoot enemies using compact discs. The members of Aerosmith are hidden throughout the game's international locales and must be found in order to receive the game's true ending.

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat

CRIP EATIN BREAD posted:

an old DOS PC freeware (or shareware) game i forget where you were a skeleton and you threw bones.

it was sorta like cave story but this game out like 15 years before that. had some minor metroidvania elements in it iirc (collecting items to open up new areas etc)

welp gently caress a little bit of searching through archive.org I found it, as well as it's sequel:

https://archive.org/details/msdos_Skull_Quest_I_-_The_Cyan_Sarcophagus_1993

Runs terribly in the browser, though

CRIP EATIN BREAD
Jun 24, 2002

Hey stop worrying bout my acting bitch, and worry about your WACK ass music. In the mean time... Eat a hot bowl of Dicks! Ice T



Soiled Meat

Toughy posted:

A PC game that had walls like Wolfenstein? There were obelisks and you could change into a wolfman or beast of some sort.
I remember trying to get to this one section that had fireballs shooting from wall to wall and after many tries I was able to time the jumping to avoid death and I made it across with a sliver of health and I just waited for my health to regenerate to full before promptly dying around the next corner.

gently caress i remember playing this. cant remember but i have an idea.

3D Megadoodoo
Nov 25, 2010

SilvergunSuperman posted:

There was this cross country 4x4 racing computer game from the early 90s or maybe 80s that you bought fuel, tires and things before the race but that's all I remember.

Halp!

Ivan Ironman's Super Off-road?

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot

I remember playing the hell out of this at the arcade at the Breakers Hotel at Cedar Point (this amusement park in Northern Ohio).

That drat bus level always screwed me up I somehow was missing one section of the bus I had to shoot that was probably two by two pixels.

That and Time Crisis (pre-Columbine) at the main arcade with the giant projector screen, extremely jagged polygons, and abysmal voice acting.

“DON’T COME!”

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

In 1990/1991 or so, as a first-grader, I remember playing a maze game on what I think was an Apple IIe. The main thing I remember about it is that the difficulty settings were named after types of cheese -- Cheddar (I think) for the easiest, then Havarti, then Brie. It was the first time I'd ever heard of the latter two and it stuck in my mind. I've posted this in a couple of "help me remember this game" threads and always gotten baffled responses, so I suppose it's possible I dreamed it or something, but I'm pretty sure this actually happened.

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Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
Winback was a cover shooter for the 64 and it ruled.

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