The Lowtax Memorial Probation Thread

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koshmar: Oct 22, 2009; i'm not here

this isn't happening

SpartanIvy posted:

I met a traveler from an antique website,
Who said, "Two vast and trunkless Mangosteens
Stand in the carpet... Near them, on the computer,
Half drunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that it's poster well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the spine that fed;
And on the website, these words appear:
My name is Lowtax, poo poo Poster of poo poo Posters;
Look at my Frontpage, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal forum, boundless and gay
The lone and level goatse stretches far away."

This is a thing of beauty.

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# ? Nov 18, 2021 21:27

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 01:48

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Jailbrekr posted:

Wasn't it originally a Fiwer meme?

SO LONELY

I wonder who holds The Lonely Torch now?

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# ? Nov 18, 2021 21:29

HebrewMagic: Jul 19, 2012; Police Assault In Progress

Adios dick, hit fewer women on your next run

Gimme a hard one I would get as a back tattoo in a weird goon prison

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# ? Nov 18, 2021 21:34

HJE-Cobra: Jul 15, 2007; Bear Witness; Hell Gem

rip in piss, lowtax "richard" kyanka

He was definitely a man that did many things in his life, many of them bad things. I don't think that we as a community will forget him any time soon.

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# ? Nov 18, 2021 21:38

Some Pinko Commie: Jun 9, 2009; CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

I mean, sure, why not?

I'm glad the fucker is dead, gently caress that guy.

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# ? Nov 18, 2021 21:45

Machai: Feb 21, 2013

biracial bear for uncut posted:

gently caress that guy.

Nah, necrophilia is gross

# ? Nov 18, 2021 21:53

sisterSyzygy: Sep 5, 2013; The funk soul brother at the back of her head has gone dark. Forever.

i'd like this one that i messed around a bit. may the rest of us live until we die

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# ? Nov 18, 2021 22:11

Adar: Jul 27, 2001

Low? No, tax

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# ? Nov 18, 2021 23:03

Mr. Stark: Sep 13, 2005; Humble Elitist

Farewell to Richard Lowtax Kyanka, the legendary game designer who made Dance Dance Karnov. For ten bux you gave me more than I could ever explain to anyone. I thank you for that.

For anyone reading, Richard made a flash game in 2001 satirizing Karnov, a semi-forgettable NES game about a Russian strongman who can shoot fireballs. Richard made everything, including the music, and it's a great example of his creative work in the early days of the internet. In hearing of his death, and seeing him justifiably raked over the coals for all the controversy he brought upon himself, I just wanted to take a moment to put a small bit of focus on something he was proud of at one time, Dance Dance Karnov. It wasn't a widely celebrated part of his history so a lot of people here might not be familiar with it, but I really enjoyed it and wanted to give it one last bit of air before we close the lid on his life.

If you want to give Richard some form of tribute, please take a moment to load up DDK and see what he was capable of as a satirical creator in his prime. Get the power-up and win the game for him, one last time.

The original SA link: https://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/flash-game-dance/
A working flash emulator link: https://archive.org/details/dance-dance-karnov
Karnov wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karnov

Goodbye Richard, I wish you weren't so complicated -- the founding fathers of the modern internet are running short on heroes. I'm going to make a donation to your daughters out of respect for the good you've done and to help atone for your shortcomings.

Sigh.

Ok, I'm ready. PAK CHOOIE UNF, gimmie that probe.

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Only registered members can see post attachments!

Mr. Stark fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Nov 19, 2021

# ? Nov 18, 2021 23:31

Stato-Masochist: Aug 22, 2010; the air is fresh, there's plenty of parking, plenty of space to walk around

I still remember the day Rich Kyanka died like it was yesterday. Me and my friend Paul were making fun of the spanish kids with velcro shoes in 7th grade shop class and next thing I know the loudspeaker goes off and has the guidance counselor on ittelling me to report to the office, I go in and my uncle Darrell who I havent seen since I was a toddler was standing there with this look of emptiness and poo poo. "Get in the car dude," he said and I am thinking the worst has happened. Well I ask what was wrong and he just looked at me and said, "Lowtax died," and I asked him who the gently caress that was. He took out a tablet and logged on to Something Awful, turned dark mode on, and passed me a joint even though he knew I never smoked before. We took off and read the front page articles all the way thru, we were both stoned silent the whole time and my mind was completelyblown. "That mangosteen salesman is dead now man," and from there on out I have just had this insane outlook on life.

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Stato-Masochist fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Nov 19, 2021

# ? Nov 19, 2021 00:22

tomaski: Jul 24, 2007; "We're going to have a strange life."

Do it. Shoot me.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 00:34

BigRoman: Jun 19, 2005

Better give me 12 hours. I still like Louis C.K.s work as well.

Maybe I should re-evaluate my life.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 00:41

Acid Reflux: Oct 18, 2004

After seventeen years, it's probably time to tarnish the clean rap sheet that I haven't really intentionally maintained. This seems like a completely inappropriate reason, so I'll take whatever you're dishing out.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 01:03

MackAddie: Jul 10, 2001

Hit me with 6er! I think I only have memorial 6ers on my rap sheet.

Just checked. I currently only have ones from the forbidden words thread.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 02:11

enojy: Sep 11, 2001; bass rattle
stars out
the sky

What the gently caress I'm gonna post about in the next six hours anwayy

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 02:17

WorkingStiff: Jul 5, 2005

Goodnight Sweet Prince.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 02:28

Captain Candiru: Nov 9, 2006; These hips don't lye

a hot gujju bhabhi posted:

I want this one please

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 02:52

lifg: Dec 4, 2000; <this tag left blank>; Muldoon

I�m an OG lurker from 2000 with nothing on my rap sheet. I�ll take one to mark the occasion.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 03:01

SilkyP: Jul 21, 2004; The Boo-Box

Can i change mine to the original image of the one I got? Instead on rich's lap can I get the OG image?
Thanks in advance

-SilkyP

# ? Nov 19, 2021 03:13

ModeSix: Mar 14, 2009

I'll take one, if anyone still cares.

Spin the dice.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 03:42

kittenchops: Jul 24, 2013

hooksocks posted:

Posting for the first time in like 10 years to repost this

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I want this one!

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 03:43

Treecko: Apr 23, 2008; The Official Demon Girl
Boss of 2022!

Can I get a 48 hour prob? I got 99 things to do and this isn't one of them.

Something cute on my rap sheet would be nice though. Guinea pigs if you got them.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 03:43

jiggerypokery: Feb 1, 2012; ...But I could hardly wait six months with a red hot jape like that under me belt.

a hot gujju bhabhi posted:

I want this one please

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 04:01

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

gently caress it. Hit me.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 04:52

legstump: Feb 26, 2004

I still never paid for an avatar for this hellsite. You never got me down Richard.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:03

Moltke: May 13, 2009

Posting for my probe.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:35

Chaos Motor: Aug 29, 2003; by vyelkin

Logged in for the first time in years to say RIP Lowtax, we hardly knew ye, the likes of which shall never ban me again.

edit: If not for you I'd still have a '99 reg date you maniac.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 05:51

Millions of Crows: Mar 31, 2010; take a look overhead

I hated myself a lot here.

Burn it down. Leave the ruins as a gravesite.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 06:00

Omnicrom: Aug 3, 2007; Snorlax Afficionado

Oh boy am I glad I was browsing the leper's colony and found this thread. I'd ask for something witty on my rap sheet, but I feel that would be against the spirit of this remembrance of a lovely wife beater so get me like the third-best thing, which is that Simpsons one I think? Or whatever, don't waste too much effort on this mods.

Anyways, Rest in piss.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 06:35

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

You seem ripe for the 21goat salute probing.

# ? Nov 19, 2021 06:39

Cooties: Oct 31, 2012

Pls... The Bawlz energy pic

RIP

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 09:11

The Hambulance: Apr 19, 2011; ASK ME ABOUT MY AWESOME STARTUP IDEA; Pillbug

Hit me with this one, please

jetz0r posted:

https://i.imgur.com/VcEYrjA.mp4

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 09:56

Durzel: Nov 15, 2005

Ain't no probes happening now. Lowtax has had the last laugh! :argh:

# ? Nov 19, 2021 12:22

Excelzior: Jun 24, 2013

yeah sure let's commemorate this, hit me

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 14:51

YancyDCjew: Feb 28, 2002; My name's Spagett, I do parties, and you just take my card, and if you need someone to spook ya-

I'm an old man who hasn't been on the forums in a decade plus and I don't know how to access my rap sheet, but what the heck (edit: oh there is a button)

I was not around for all of the turmoil but would see bits and pieces of it on twitter. Richard seemed like a piece of poo poo in the end and I am sorry for his daughters.

:shrek:

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:13

Total Party Kill: Aug 25, 2005

I was expecting my probe yesterday. Now that it's been a day and I still have this hanging over me, I know it's going to come the moment I have something very insightful and productive to add to a thread discussion FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER HURRRRR

# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:20

Local Weather: Feb 12, 2005; Don't worry, I'll give you a sign. The sign will be that life is awesome

Hit me! I have had a clean rap sheet for umpteen years, I guess this is as good a reason as any to finally mess it up.

I had zero interactions with Lowtax, I always dreamed of being some kind of forums superstar but it turns out I'm actually a pretty boring poster and never really had any ideas to stand out. Still, I have enjoyed the forums both when I first joined and then years later when I discovered they were still around and actually pretty fun.

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# ? Nov 19, 2021 15:21