Official PYF Sagas Thread which WILL be Goldmined After Jeff is Probated

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Official PYF Sagas Thread which WILL be Goldmined After Jeff is Probated

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Heath: Apr 30, 2008; 🍂🎃🏞️💦

Boba Pearl posted:

A goon group showed me Queen recently like a bunch of songs and I'm trying to imagine listening to 10 hours of sonic guy when Freddy Mercury worked so hard to produce the greatest songs I've ever heard.

Can't believe you're just now finding Queen

# ? Apr 1, 2023 20:18

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 06:36

The Wicked ZOGA: Jan 27, 2022

QUEEN is some boomer poo poo for boomers

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 1, 2023 20:38

Harold Fjord: Jan 3, 2004

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

QUEEN is some boomer poo poo for boomers

Smdh. More for me.

# ? Apr 1, 2023 20:41

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

this, definitely.

Heath posted:

Can't believe you're just now finding Queen

but also this?

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

QUEEN is some boomer poo poo for boomers

# ? Apr 1, 2023 20:43

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Lol, young people.

# ? Apr 1, 2023 20:48

Nuns with Guns: Jul 23, 2010; It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Boba Pearl posted:

wandering around my condo muttering "I lack ENRICHMENT in my ENCLOSURE"

I make sure to load up a number of Kong toys with peanut butter and trail mix and freeze them overnight to make it through the day when the separation anxiety kicks in.

# ? Apr 1, 2023 20:57

rox: Sep 7, 2016

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

QUEEN is some boomer poo poo for boomers

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

cheers pablo :cheers:

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:03

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

haha what posted:

cheers pablo

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:06

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

the idea that good music somehow has an expiration date is wild and possibly the stupidest take you can offer about music in general.

drat, 1920s? lol gently caress off with that robert johnson poo poo no 1 curr

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:06

rox: Sep 7, 2016

freddie mercury was and still is a goddamn icon

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:07

Boba Pearl: Dec 27, 2019; by Athanatos

The Wicked ZOGA posted:

QUEEN is some boomer poo poo for boomers

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

This is a take lmao, I think music is eternal I just liked a new band. though Im sure people would write off like Cami-Cat or Annapantsu as zoomer poo poo.

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:10

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

haha what posted:

freddie mercury was and still is a goddamn icon

This

That's the first time I used my buttons btw

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:11

rox: Sep 7, 2016

Pablo Nergigante posted:

This

That's the first time I used my buttons btw

lmao

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:13

Boba Pearl: Dec 27, 2019; by Athanatos

Pablo Nergigante posted:

This

That's the first time I used my buttons btw

God speed.

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:13

Boba Pearl: Dec 27, 2019; by Athanatos

This song rules imo https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6Iyv17I6YHw

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:15

Runa: Feb 13, 2011

Pablo Nergigante posted:

This

That's the first time I used my buttons btw

lol

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:15

cheetah7071: Oct 20, 2010; honk honk; College Slice

The presence of funky kong in this month's games chat thread poll reminded me of this saga, from 2018. For context, spudsbuckley was a very lovely poster who, after this, was banned+100k hour probed. It sucked rear end that this is what it took to get them gone, but it's still a great series of posts to read

spudsbuckley posted:

I'm pretty sure Funky Kong is cultural appropriation somehow so I'm off to write an essay on how you should all feel ashamed because you know that he exists and it is definitely something that should matter in your life.

VideoGames posted:

Hello.

Spudsbuckley, you have 1 week to write a 1000 word essay on exactly what you just said.

Rules:

1) It must be serious.
2) It must use valid examples.
3) You must link it to Persona 5 and your odd views on why homosexuals "shouldn't be so thin skinned" about their portrayal.

If after a week you have not done it you can have a nice time out.

If somebody else in this thread beats you to it, then they can decide on your punishment.

Enjoy!

Endorph posted:

Funky Kong, Surfing, and Cultural Appropriation

Funky Kong (ファンキーコング Fankī Kongu) is a character introduced in Donkey Kong Country (1994) for the SNES. Donkey Kong Country was developed by Rare, a western company, and not Nintendo, a Japanese company and holders of the rights to Donkey Kong. This is critical information for further in this essay.

Pictured: Funky Kong's render in Donkey Kong Country (1994, Rare)

1994 was a peak year for surfing culture in the west. The former West Coast Surfing Championship expanded and became known as the US Open of Surfing. The film Endless Summer II, often regarded as one of the best surfing films ever made, was released. It is natural that Rare, a western developer with direct insight into these trends, would take them as a small influence on their work. This in itself is not appropriation - surfing is enjoyed by people of all races, and is an internationally recognized sport.

However, it is worth looking into the origins of surfing culture, to see where the problems begin to arise.

Surfing, as some readers might know, started as in Polynesia. Fishermen would ride out to sea on planks of wood, stand on them, and catch fish using the board as a platform. However, the act of riding the plank of wood itself was enjoyable enough, and so the Polynesians cultivated it into a pasttime. While it was still used to catch fish, it was also used simply for the enjoyment of riding the waves.

Even contemporary surfing began in, quite critically, *pre*-colonial Hawaii. Those higher up in society would often lay claim to the best beaches, and even the act of constructing a surfboard held religious significance. Surfing was not at the core of Hawaiian society, but it was an important aspect of it. The best surfers gained respect among their peers, even if they were commoners.

When Hawaii was colonized, surfing suffered a sharp decline. Smallpox and other diseases were common, and when the sugar plantations were built, workers from places like Japan and China, with no knowledge of surfing or any form of Hawaiian culture, took the place of native Hawaiians as more and more of them passed away from disease and poverty.

As if that was not humiliating enough, Hawaii was essentially forced by America to become a territory. Citizens had no voting rights, and Christian missionaries discouraged actions that showed any fealty to a religion other than their own. This included surfing, and the practice was rare. Native Hawaiians posed in loincloths at popular surfing locales, boards in hand, for the photographs of tourists, but this was a rare thing. The beaches that had once been home to vibrant communities of surfers were now sideshows, carnival tents for a few onlookers and the Hawaiian men that still felt the call of the ocean.

In 1907, the author Jack London came to Hawaii with his wife. London was, and still is, a respected author, with a focus on nature and its wonders. His most famous novels, White Fang and Call of the Wild, focused on wolves. The hotel they were staying at was located near a beach, and the beach had a few surfers - Native Hawaiians and those of mixed descent, a small clique called the Waikiki Swimming Club. Jack London was fascinated by this sport, and the greatest of the surfers in the clique, a young Irish/Hawaiian named George Freeth.

That same year, starting the novel while still on vacation with help from a journalist named Alexander Hume Ford, London published A Royal Sport: Surfing in Waikiki.

"Where but the moment before was only the wide desolation and invincible roar, is now a man, erect, full statured, not-struggling frantically in that wild movement, not buried and crushed and buffeted by those mighty monsters, but standing above them all, calm and superb, poised on the giddy summit, his feet buried in the churning foam, the salt smoke rising to his knees, and all the rest of him in the free air and flashing sunlight, and he is flying through the air, flying forward, flying fast as the surge on which he stands. He is a Mercury-a brown Mercury. His heels are winged, and in them is the swiftness of the sea."

London had a clear fascination and love of the sport, and as soon as his short story was published, fans were eager to see it in action. In the days before even film reels, thee was only one way to accomplish this: Freeth was invited to California by railroad magnate Henry Huntington. With Huntington's endorsement, Freeth displayed his talents and athleticism at a few events to promote Huntington's business interests.

Here we can see a clear trend emerging: surfing as a cog in the gears of capitalism. London's short story, while blatantly indulgent, can be excused. But Huntington, whatever his motivations, used surfing as a prop: a way to increase revenue, and nothing more.

Even London's actions, in later contexts, begin to sting. In later years, as surfing experienced its boom in the 1950s and onwards, many 'beach bums' - white, middle-classed, 14-30 - would describe the spiritual experience of riding the waves, how it led them to a deep epiphany. Yet these were epiphanies the Polynesians were having thousands of years ago. Without a journalist around to immortalize their words, and without the motivation of rebelling against a parent, or a government.

Which brings us back to Funky Kong.

Funky Kong is a gorilla in a surfing hat.

It's not even a particularly good surfing hat. The shades and bandana could just as easily imply a biker, or perhaps Hollywood Hulk Hogan. The only thing tying Funky Kong to surfing is, quite literally, the surfboard in his hands. He peppers his sentences with 'dude' and 'woah,' but Funky Kong is a one note joke. Donkey Kong Country features several characters like this - being a super nintendo game with no voice acting, extended cutscenes, or indeed much of a plot, its characters exist primarily for gameplay. Funky Kong exists to provide transportation to the player, quick travel back to already completed levels on his seaplane. He also hosts a small fishing minigame, perhaps a tie to the roots of surfing, but more than likely just a thing people do at the sea.

You'll note that at no point during any of this does Funky Kong actually surf.

Surfing is a prop, an adjective put in front of the word 'Gorilla.' The only thing keeping them from literally calling him Surf Kong is that a Hong Kong-based company called Surf Kong already exists, though whether Rare was aware of this is up in the air.

In fact, surfing means so little to Funky Kong that you could literally just remove it from him and it would still be, functionally, the same character.

Pictured: Funky Kong in Donkey Kong 64 (2000, Rare)

Huh.

Funky Kong, and by extension Rare, did not cause the centuries of colonization, oppression, and gentrification that led surfing to where it is today, a half-remembered fad of the 50s to 70s and occasional Olympic sport. In Hawaii, many native Hawaiians, suffering in poverty, cannot even afford a surfboard. Especially not one that would make them remotely competitive at surfing events. Indeed, Hawaii competes separately from the US in pro surfing, due to being excluded from competing officially in the past.

The people who loved this sport, who invented it, barred from competing in it by the people who adopted it as a fad.

Funky Kong is an example of that 'fad's short shelf life - his mannerisms were fairly dated even in the 90s, and in 2018 the only part of him that is even recognizable to modern youth is the surfboard in his hand. Even then, surfing is a rare sport. Hard to practice due to geography, and how much coordination it requires.

Surfing has been chewed up by capitalism and spat back out, pro surfboards that can cost upwards of a thousand dollars, decorated in the emblems of corporations. Funky Kong did not do this, but Funky Kong is a disquieting example of how easily this has filtered down through American society, and how few people stop to notice it. The creators of Funky Kong probably had little to no idea of any of this. Certainly, very few of the children that played Donkey Kong Country back in 1994 would have.

Funky Kong doesn't know, either.

Funky Kong just has a new Funky Mode.

cheetah7071 fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Apr 1, 2023

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:16

cheetah7071: Oct 20, 2010; honk honk; College Slice

anyways despite the excellent funky display here, please vote for lanky in the games chat poll. I firmly believe lanky would be far harder to escape from if he was chasing you than funky

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:17

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

i agree

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:19

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:20

Boba Pearl: Dec 27, 2019; by Athanatos

Pablo Nergigante posted:

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:22

rox: Sep 7, 2016

cheetah7071 posted:

The presence of funky kong in this month's games chat thread poll reminded me of this saga, from 2018. For context, spudsbuckley was a very lovely poster who, after this, was banned+100k hour probed. It sucked rear end that this is what it took to get them gone, but it's still a great series of posts to read

lol

Pablo Nergigante posted:

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

lmao

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:23

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Pablo Nergigante posted:

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

Lmao

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:23

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Pablo Nergigante posted:

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:26

womb with a view: Sep 8, 2007

Funky Kong has the best theme though

Pablo Nergigante posted:

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

lmao

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:27

B33rChiller: Aug 18, 2011

pentyne posted:

the idea that good music somehow has an expiration date is wild and possibly the stupidest take you can offer about music in general.

drat, 1920s? lol gently caress off with that robert johnson poo poo no 1 curr

Oooh yeah. The dumbest shithead I've ever had to work with would frequently spout "you wouldn't know this, it's from before your time" at me as some way of belittling me. No guy, those songs have been playing on the radio continuously since you were a teen. I choose not to listen to it because I have been over-exposed against my will already. By his logic, nobody alive today would know any old music. "Johan who? Sounds like sum sorta Euro-[slur redacted}"

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:28

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

B33rChiller posted:

Oooh yeah. The dumbest shithead I've ever had to work with would frequently spout "you wouldn't know this, it's from before your time" at me as some way of belittling me. No guy, those songs have been playing on the radio continuously since you were a teen. I choose not to listen to it because I have been over-exposed against my will already. By his logic, nobody alive today would know any old music. "Johan who? Sounds like sum sorta Euro-[slur redacted}"

I totally agree. There's lots of classic songs that are I think are very good but that I nonetheless do not wish to hear ever again because I've heard them so many times already.

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:46

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

fun hater posted:

the clown girl gimmick YouTuber is izzy right. they were egregiously incorrect abt attributing something i didnt do to me and never bothered to correct it even tho it was entirely bc they cant read/are stupid

the clown girl videos make me feel a million years old

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:50

EasilyConfused: Nov 21, 2009; one strong toad

cheetah7071 posted:

The presence of funky kong in this month's games chat thread poll reminded me of this saga, from 2018. For context, spudsbuckley was a very lovely poster who, after this, was banned+100k hour probed. It sucked rear end that this is what it took to get them gone, but it's still a great series of posts to read

Endorph rules.

Pablo Nergigante posted:

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

As does this

# ? Apr 1, 2023 21:58

Kagaya Homoraisan: Aug 28, 2019; You say, run away
Instead, you get scared
For the way that I feel
Drops out into all this disorder

skipping the parts of this convo i dont wanna talk about because its my birthday and im allowed to, heres a touhou arrange that extensively samples we will rock you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skjkb2U5w1c

also

Pablo Nergigante posted:

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

lol

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:00

rox: Sep 7, 2016

Kagaya Homoraisan posted:

skipping the parts of this convo i dont wanna talk about because its my birthday and im allowed to, heres a touhou arrange that extensively samples we will rock you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skjkb2U5w1c

also

lol

hell yeah happy birthday

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:04

lobster shirt: Jun 14, 2021

Kagaya Homoraisan posted:

skipping the parts of this convo i dont wanna talk about because its my birthday and im allowed to, heres a touhou arrange that extensively samples we will rock you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skjkb2U5w1c

also

lol

happy birthday

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:07

Boba Pearl: Dec 27, 2019; by Athanatos

Thank you for sharinf this song it rules happy birthday

Boba Pearl fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Apr 1, 2023

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:08

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

Kagaya Homoraisan posted:

skipping the parts of this convo i dont wanna talk about because its my birthday and im allowed to, heres a touhou arrange that extensively samples we will rock you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skjkb2U5w1c

also

lol

Hbd Kagaya!

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:13

Anime Store Adventure: May 6, 2009

The weirdest musical opinion I have is that I have to listen to nightcore (I still call it happy hardcore! :corsair:

) while I�m drunk with my buddies playing Rocket League.

After even a minute outside of that context I find it super grating, but I need the super high BPM upbeat nonsense to make my car fly around better. Every now and then I�ll add a song I like from the nightcore radio station to my Spotify and end up appalled when it plays at like 10am on a Tuesday while I�m working.

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:16

Kild: Apr 24, 2010

Pablo Nergigante posted:

He has no style, he has no grace. This Kong appropriated from the Polynesian race

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:17

NoiseAnnoys: May 17, 2010

queen is fine, there are just lots more arguably more interesting bands out there, who haven�t been glomped to death by nerd culture

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:23

Sleng Teng: May 3, 2009

Kagaya Homoraisan posted:

skipping the parts of this convo i dont wanna talk about because its my birthday and im allowed to, heres a touhou arrange that extensively samples we will rock you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Skjkb2U5w1c

also

lol

HBD!

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:23

Pablo Nergigante: Apr 16, 2002

NoiseAnnoys posted:

queen is fine, there are just lots more arguably more interesting bands out there, who haven�t been glomped to death by nerd culture

Oh?

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:24

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 06:36

Anime Store Adventure: May 6, 2009

NoiseAnnoys posted:

queen is fine, there are just lots more arguably more interesting bands out there, who haven�t been glomped to death by nerd culture

I also share this same aversion but Queen is one of the instances where they�re good enough to overcome the annoying nerd fan bandwagon effect imo.

# ? Apr 1, 2023 22:25

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Official PYF Sagas Thread which WILL be Goldmined After Jeff is Probated

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