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Well. That's a choice.
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Jan 29, 2024 20:03
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| # ? Apr 28, 2024 05:11 |
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"gently caress it, we ball" -Amalie von Habsburg Also just out of curiosity, setting-wise, which modes are you using?
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Jan 30, 2024 01:16
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Jimmy4400nav posted:
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Jan 30, 2024 10:40
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3 - 1080 - 1090 - I Shed The Blood of Frankish Men Humbert was beside himself this morning when I told him of my intention to wage war on the King of France. His attempts to talk me out of it were futile, I informed him a messenger had already been dispatched to Paris last night before I came to bed, he'll likely reach the city in a month with the letter demanding Grisons be handed over to me. Of course King Philippe will never acquiesce to such a request. By the time he reads the letter our armies will already be marching towards him. As exasperated with me that Humbert seems to be, he has little to riposte when I remind him that his very people - Normans, did not truely come into being until Rollo laid siege to Paris, and now they are kings of Britannia and soon the south Mediterranean. If the people of the Alps are to be united, respected then we must prove ourselves. And should we fail - well it will at least make an interesting tale for the history books.  King Philippe's alliance with the Byzantine Empire may be his greatest asset - it may very well be his undoing. For as we speak, the Byzantines are embroiled in their most cherished of past times, endless pointless civil wars over succession.  The Byzantines are weakened, it seems unlikely Basileus Michael will be ruler for much longer, and the French army is currently in Constantinople trying to keep his government propped up. King Philippe however is still in Paris, minus one army protecting him.  I send messengers to Piedmont and Messina to honour our alliance while Biago is given command of our own troops and he begins the march on Grisons. It will be a month until King Philippe knows we are at war, and I still have some time to prepare. I myself travel to the most powerful constituent of the Empire - Swabia, to ensure we have the last edge needed to win this war.  With a single bodyguard and just our horses stocked with food we ride for Swabia as fast as they can take us. Through thick snow and past towns and castles all shuttered up for the winter, until we reach Ulm. Lair of Duke Rudolf. Duke Rudolf of Swabia is not a good man. Not even remotely. He is however a very learned, diligent man, with a great many soldiers loyal to him. He is also the steward of the HRE and has the Kaiser's ear. His life has been spent in a bitter rivalry with the Bavarians with whom he has fought numerous wars, and some years back he assisted the Duke of Bohemia in putting down a rebellion - and for this a Czech courtier in his own employment tried to poison him. Rudolf survived but was left disfigured, hiding his face away behind a bronze mask behind which his strained raspy voice now seeps from like daggers in my ears.  In the great hall of the Ulm keep, a single massive fireplace is our only source of light and heat from the snowstorm out beyond the stone walls. The tiny feast Rudolf had prepared upon my arrival is nearing its end, and I can begin to discuss why I am here: "I wish to seek a union with the House of Rheinfelden, to see our children betrothed, your youngest Jutta and mine Heinrich. It is no secret I have grown in power these last years and now I only wish to find friends in the Empire to maintain what is mine."  "I am no fool Amalie, I've eyes and ears in every part of the Empire. You wish to gain an alliance so Swabian soldiers can march with you across the Rhine." "I only fight for what is rightfully mine." "A more prudent ruler may find a way to achieve that diplomatically, or through some cunning. But I do admire your bold bluntness. "I wish only to sway King Philippe to my demands, I've no designs on French land or the peasants and gold found therein. Swabian troops will be free to do as they see fit just as long as they assist in the siege of Paris and put down any resistance." This seems to pique his interest and though I can only see his left eye through the mask I can still sense he is smiling. He stands and begins to circle the old spruce table we had been eating from, sullen malnourished servants hastily clearing it away as we continue to talk. "This alliance is a two way street, if I march at your side. You march at my side when the time comes, no matter how trivial or frivolous. And should this little deal of ours come to a messy end, rest assured I would not need a thousand men to bring you down Amalie, just one, in the right place, at the right time." He stops at my side, taking off a glove so we may shake hands, his own is scarred - deformed, a finger missing, covered in burns - I clasp it firmly and we shake. "Let us see to it that by year's end it is French vineyards on fire and not your quaint little mountain lodges"     It is the summer of 1081 and we stand before the barony of Chur in Grisons, only a tiny garrison remains in the fort but they still refuse to surrender and we are forced to siege it. Duchess Garsende is not to be found here, upon her inheritance of the Duchy of Champagne she immediately left for warmer pastures along the Marne river.  By November Chur falls and Grisons is ours.  Taking a single castle in the Alps is not going to bring the French to their knees however. Now the real work begins, we muster with our allies and march back through the mountains, westwards.  The French army has left Constantinople, landing in Sicily with their Provencal allies, however thankfully local Norman garrisons have mortally wounded Duke Bertrand II of Provence in the attack on Cosenza, there is supposedly ruckus in the French camps over his fate.  As we march back through the Alps we make a stop at Castle Biel -well, it's almost become tradition at this point.   Duke Bertrand's wounds were indeed mortal, and he passes away in some camp hundreds of miles away from home. A home that his soldiers only wish to return to - the alliance between Provence and France dies with him.  Upon marching through the neutral (and for some reason English-held) duchy of Upper Burgundy we approach the border with France - the river Doubs, the bridge with its toll collector and barracks devoid of defenders upon hearing of our approach. Instead in the middle of the far side of the bridge stands a figure, two well-adorned outriders atop their warhorses at the road's edge. "Amalie von Habsburg! You stand before Duke Raoul, chancellor of his royal highness King Philippe, and behind me is all of France." He bellows as he struts out onto the bridge, I dismount from my horse and walk out to meet him halfway. "Duchess Amalie von Habsburg" I am quick to correct him. He holds in his hand a small scroll which he holds out at arms length, not daring to get any closer to me than necessary. "Yes, of course. His majesty King Philippe wishes to see an end to this pointless war you wage. You have not yet set a foot in to his Kingdom, so in his graciousness is willing to overlook this grave transgression you have committed against him and to end this war right here and now." "So he is surrendering?" Duke Raoul scoffs "He is offering a white peace" "On what grounds? Why am I to accept this? Where is your grand army to enforce his wishes? "Consider this a mercy Amalie. Not everything need be achieved at the end of a blade. Turn around and go home, and save the lives of your men'' I draw my dagger from my belt, causing Raoul to take a slight step back until he watches me make a single slash across the scroll and holding it back out toward him. "Take this back to your king, and tell him to keep the gates of Paris open for me, lest he wants me making a mess of his city"  I alone will decide where and when this war ends.  Two decades ago I was but a count of a tiny castle in the mountains, filling my days with hunting game and selling my services to any local lord who needed a dispute settled or rabble of peasants put down. Now I stand at the head of an army almost six thousand strong marching to enforce my will on the mightiest of kings.  Making our way north, we bound across the French countryside in alternating formations, two divisions of our coalition taking new land and dismantling what defences and garrisons stand in our way while the other two divisions pick apart the villages and estates left behind, extracting every bit of wealth we can and doing everything we can to dampen the morale of the French.  Paris is on the horizon - the mayor of Bern and mayor of Zurich are in disagreement over our next actions and considering they each command substantial parts of our army I must heed their advice. The Bern approach would see us inflicting maximum carnage on the surrounding area and deprive Paris of its stores of supplies. The Zurich Plan we leave much of Isle de France intact and provide an ample position for us to defend from should the French army arrive to relieve their capital. I see no French army though, Bern it all.  3rd May 1082. The Siege of Paris begins, earthworks are being dug around the city, mangonels constructed from the nearby forests and tents erected as far as the eye can see to house our troops.  On the other side of Europe, a Greek force lands in Sicily and meets up with their French allies. Basileus Michael has been deposed, he is now simply Doux Michael of Philippopolis, he controls southern Bulgaria and a fair amount of troops still - but what he no longer has is the vast Greek navy. The very thing the French had been hoping would swiftly transport them around Iberia and to the northern shores of France so they could reach Paris to stop us. Now it would seem the French and Greeks must march their way up Italia and over our Alps to reach us.  We predict the city is halfway to surrendering, disease spreads through the streets of Paris, though they still have ample supplies within those walls and many more men to defend them with. It would also seem our actions against the French King have emboldened some of the other lords around us - Flemish lords in the north have started a revolt against the French Duke of Flanders.  In just a matter of days Paris will fall, but I am confined to my tent, for I have been graced by God with another child. A daughter, Amalie. Were that she my first so she may rule this new realm I am carving out, but it will be down to her brothers.  By week's end the walls of Paris have been breached, our soldiers are storming the city causing as much havoc as they can muster. We are on our feet once more, marching on the royal palace at the centre of Île de la Cité.  King Philippe is nowhere to be found in the city, and despite his Kingdom being in debt we still find great hordes of gold and treasure in the palaces and noble estates of the capital. Anyone of note or whom may be even tangentially related to the royal family is captured for ransoming.  I'm stood atop the southern walls of Paris (or what remains of the defences), looking out across the countryside we had this past year tore our way across. Having to pause my nursing of little Amalie when Duke Pierre approaches - "Amalie. While searching the vaults beneath Philippe's palace my men came across this - well hidden, but not enough evidently" in his hand is a sword, more brilliant than any I have ever set eyes on.  It is Joyeuse. The sword of Charlemagne. Tentatively I take the sword from Pierre's hands, grasping the golden jewel-encrusted handle within which was a fragment of the Lance of Longinus itself. With Amalie still cradled in my other arm I turn to face the throng of German, Italian and Norman soldiers in the city below, I hold Joyeuse aloft to thunderous applause.  Konrad Müller (b. 1822) 'Mother Of The Swiss', 1876 Oil on canvas  King Philippe is not in Paris, but he cannot be far - there are other castles in the nearby area which are his personal demesne, he must be hiding in one of them.  And so our scouring of the French heartland must continue. Biago jokes that he we known it would be this easier, we should have just declared ourselves Queen of France. Maybe? ...No. I've no desire to be a conqueror despite what the smouldering ruins of Paris show otherwise, I just want our homeland united, free and prosperous. And if this is what it takes? Then so be it.  Meanwhile the French and Greeks have made their way up Italia and begin the march through the mountains.  The year draws to a close and more of the castles and noble estates of central France fall to our army, but still it is not enough, the French king cannot be found, he refuses to surrender and let his people suffer.  Through thick snow the French army trudge, finding Chur castle abandoned again - the garrison of one hundred we left behind abandoned the castle upon hearing of the approaching enemy, but not before making sure they gutted the castle and left it unsuitable for overwintering within - the French will have to camp out in the snow this winter.  The weather in Champagne is far more agreeable though, and our raids and sieges of key castles continues entirely unabated. With each one, King Philippe's authority and prestige being eroded away in the eyes of his subjects.  The snow has thawed, the French march on (thankfully, right past Castle Biel) while the Greeks remain behind in the central Alpine region to maintain control over Grisons and ensure we cannot get any reinforcements from our holdings.  With the capture of Beaumont Castle in the summer of 1083 we find our greatest horde of French treasure yet, seemingly the bulk of Philippe's royal treasury that he managed to evacuate from Paris.  By the time autumn rolls around, the French army has arrived back in the region after their extended absence. They have set up camp in Sens and calling on all vassals of King Philippe to convene with them to drive out the invaders. We must move on them as soon as possible to stop them mustering too many troops, we pivot south to engage.  Enroute to their camp we receive word they have already moved on, advancing north to liberate the heart of France and call on the people to rise up with them.  We aim to cut them off near the town of Bray. A small river crossing separates us, and despite the disadvantage it grants us we will still ford it and attack them head on - if only to lock them in a battle with us, and allow our allies to attack their rear upon arriving on the French army's side of the river.      In all my years of warring I had never seen an army fold so quickly. Perhaps it was the march up from the very tip of Italia or the frigid winter in the mountains, but the French army simply gave up, their will to fight had escaped them the moment our ranks clashed on the banks of the Seine. And our own soldiers enthused from a year of unrestricted pillaging and razing of the French countryside showed similar lack of mercy to the defenders. They did not run though, they stood and fought to the very last man. We struggled to find any surviving commanders to take in to captivity - thankfully we found Duke Raoul among the dying, and saved him for bargaining.   Tales of our deeds (or misdeeds) and valour in battle are quickly spreading across the courts of Christendom, and with any luck may echo through history yet to come.  France is without an army. Paris has been all but razed - looted of anything of value and greatly depopulated, the royal lands of central france are scorched. A single point of opposition remains that we must take care of - Michael Doukas and the Greeks in our mountains.   In the winter of 1084 we approach home once more. Though the Greeks outnumber us they are far from their home, the soldiers have not been paid in many moons, there is little to loot here in the mountains and they just wish to be out of this frozen hell.       The Greek army did not quite explode like the French did, but upon losing hundreds of their own while our forces are only beginning to near the first hundred fallen Doux Michael pulls his army back at once. He would like to have some semblance of a military remaining to return to the Byzantine Empire with - if he is to retain what remains of his land or hopefully one day reclaiming his place as Basileus.  Michael, formerly Basileus of the Romans, probably at one point just a few years ago the most powerful man in the world, is reduced to a handful of dishevelled demoralised soldiers still loyal to him. He marches out to me, he's no desire to continue this fight, the French couldn't help him hold his throne and they won't be coming to save him here in the Alps. He rescinds his alliance with King Philippe and wishes to only return home - seeing as no Greeks either besieged or attacked our settlements, merely occupied the forests and roads around the area, we see no reason to not just simply let him and his men go. Besides, I need someone left alive to spread the tale of my victories. We remained camped out at the northern roads into the mountains, handling any deserters and looters that had arisen in the county in all the chaos, until at last we see the Swabians, Piedmontese and Messinans returning from France. At the head of the formation Count Roger who finds us in our tent, hands us a scroll sealed with the French royal stamp. At long last, this war is over.  Sadly our oldest friend and first ally, Duke Pierre passed away on the return journey, succumbing to an aggravating injury sustained in the Battle of Bray.  With the war over, there is no need to keep hold of the prisoners we have captured a long the way and there is much gold to be made from extracting their ransoms. None bringing me more joy than Chancellor, Duke Raoul who had tried to stop us at the border.  Grisons is under our control, this with the city of Zurich allows us to proclaim ourselves the Duchess of Currezia as well as Transjurania.  And with that the Kaiser is wise to graciously grant us Saint Gallen.  It is 1084 and we have united the core region of the Alps, but the war has taken it's toll on our people and our treasury. There will be some years before we can form a new kingdom out of these lands.  But barely two months pass before we receive an envoy from Duchess Ermessinde of Savoy. WIth Duke Pierre's passing his vassals try to usurp his daughter's new rule and take the realm for each other.  How unfortunate for Countess Jeanne, that Savoy and Piedmont now exist under the protection of the Habsburgs.  Doubly unfortunate that the Genevese troops decided to go north and not south and now are a day's march away from us. We catch them in no time.   It is a brief battle and we manage to capture Jeanne of Geneve before she escapes the battlefield, with her in chains we bring her back to Duchess Ermessinde at Moutiers to do as she sees fit to the traitor.   Execution evidently.  Not our concern, she is free to rule her realm as she sees fit. Though it does remind me that there are prisoners languishing in the cells back at Castle Biel, I've no desire to see them rot away in there.  Especially not when I could get money from their ransoms.  Biago 'the Heartless', whom we found all those years ago on the roadside in northern Italy has become an indispensable leader in my army and I think he is overdue for some recognition. We grant him an accolade, allowing him to be an acclaimed knight. During the ceremony I ask if there is any title he would wish to have conferred upon him, and without a moment's hesitation he declares 'The Sorrow of Demons'. Well alright then.   With hopefully all the warring I need to do out of the way, it is perhaps time to focus less on martial matters and begin to look inward, and begin to try and figure out how an economy works and see what I can do to make this new land of mine profitable.  Already it seems my luck with finances is as keen as my luck in battle, when I manage to acquire a large amount of cattle in a deal  It is Leopold's sixteenth birthday, today he has become a man. And well - try as I might to have brought him up right, I may have been slightly preoccupied with all the warring. He's... an adequate soldier and commander, but he is still young, there is still time to hone his skills.  Still, by week's end he is to travel to Monferrato in Piedmont to marry Duchess Agnes Savoie. I'm sure with their skills combined these two young rulers will manage to hold northern Italy together.   A break from trying to learn how to administrate the realm comes in the form of an invitation to a feast held at the far end of the Alps by the Prince-Bishop of Aquileia. A welcome break we will take up at once, and depart for the Italian shore.  As we cross over from southern Germany to Italy we stop in the town of Bolzano, where thoughts of the upcoming feast brings us to the local market for a little pre-event treat. A local stall is selling some sort of local Italian food, a kind of flat-bread adorned with cheese, sauces and any number of toppings. Mattias, our knight accompanying us to Aquileia, says it is called 'Pizza' and then derisively claims it to be peasant food, 'far beneath us'. Well I want some!  I gotta figure out how to get some Pizza up in the Alps.  At the city gates of Aquileia, a lone soldier donned in Swabian garb approaches us from the gatehouse where he had been waiting for our arrival for some time. (I went back to try more pizza) "Duchess." He holds out a letter "From your good friend" "My Lady. You've had your slice of the French pie, now it is only far that the Swabian people have their fair share. Meet me on the field of battle in The Ardennes and let us once more shred the blood of Frankish men."  Of course, I could just send Mattias back to Castle Biel alone and have him get Biago to command the army and march back to France again. But no, I imagine Rudolf the Cruel would prefer to see us commanding in person.  Poor King Philippe, now facing down the second invasion from ambitious lords of the Holy Roman Empire, strife across France, peasant revolts and dismissive dukes who refuse to follow his lead, finds solace in the bottle. But it quickly consumes. Leaving his teenage son Henri to lead the French people in this time of crisis.  The call goes out to Bern, Zurich and all the fiefdoms of the many knights of the Alps. We march for France once more. Within the month Castle Biel is abuzz with eager soldiers, we are prepared to move off, but first -   The kingdom of France is rapidly destabilising, so much so that the King of England is assisting the northern Dukes maintain order against the constant rebellions.  But whatever William the so called Conqueror may be doing is of no concern to us. We are here to take Rethel in the name of Swabia.  I begin to wonder if France even has an army at this point. Weeks turn to months of our invasion, there is no sign of any French army approaching to stop us, local garrisons hold out in hope for aid that will never arrive.  In the downtime before we march off to the next town to capture, I am sat at a campfire with Duke Rudolf and new Franconian Duke of Milan Gebhard Babenberg (a callous and greedy ravener) and my acclaimed knight, the Sorrow of Demons. "Amalie, I hear your realm is in dire need of gold. You seem pretty forthright with your sword when their is land that needs conquering, people can certainly be swayed to part with their gold the same way if you just apply a little pressure" Duke Gebhard roars with laughter swinging the half-eaten chicken leg in his hand like a dagger. A pang of... something courses through me as I take a glance around at the people I've chosen as my closest allies, comrades and confidants.  Before we move off again I am graced with my firth child, another daughter, whom I name for Elisabeth, our bishopess who made the unification of our realm possible. Five children all born at war.  It is the summer of 1088 and finally some semblance of French resistance begins to show as we continue sieging down towns and cities in Champagne. (I'm sure Duchess Garsende is ready to see the back of us)  Duke Rudolf remains in Reims while we relocate north to handle whatever force the French can muster.  As we move in to engage the diminutive french company of soldiers we learn they are being led by the Marshal of France himself, defeating him will certainly help to keep the kingdom destabilised and off our backs.  But as our ranks clash and we begin to cut down the French soldiers with ease it dawns on me, the banner of the enemy commander - the Marshal of France is Prince Robert 'Curthose', Son of William the Conqueror. He is the heir of England.  Unfortunately Biago, sorry I mean Sorrow of Demons, has trained the men under him like a pack of rabid dogs, when the red mist of battle descends there is little that can be done to dissuade them. I fight through the rabble, cutting through any French soldier until I spot him in the brawl - Robert, and do everything in my power to disarm him and see him knocked to the floor where I may keep an eye on him as the rest of his company is slaughtered. As the last squirming wounded Frenchmen is speared on his back by one of our soldiers, I help Robert de Normandie to his feet who immediately backs away as if we were trapped in a cage and I - a savage beast. "Am I to be your prisoner? Locked away in your dungeon and slowly fed to rats, I know what you are, Butcher of Biel!" "No?" I respond with a dubious tilt of my head and a shrug at the man's notion of me that he has built up of me (and perhaps all the people in this land now have?) "You are free to go. I simply ask you not raise any more levies, and not entangle yourself in the little ongoing border affair" "Amalie von Habsburg, you are a barbarian! A mountain harlot with your army of wolves. My father will hear of your misdeeds and all of England shall know to never trust a Habsburg as long as they live'' We watch as he hastily makes his way to the nearest unattended horse that one of his unlucky knights had been riding some minutes prior before ending up in multiple pieces on the ground. The future king of England rides off and we are left to pilfer through what remains of his men for anything valuable. "Should have killed him My Lady" The Sorrow of Demons tuts "He's bad news" "I have made mortal enemies of the French, I do not need the English added to that list"  We siege down the city of Amiens and then reconvene with Duke Rudolf, much of Champagne and Flanders now under our control.  "I hear you had a little scrap with 'The Curthose'. And let him live? Personally I'd have send him back to that new island of theirs piece by piece" Rudolf chuckles darkly from behind his mask. "I didn't wish to anger the English king" "Evidently you don't know much about House de Normandie, Amalie, you'd have done William a favour by killing that snivelling boy of his. But, c'est la vie as they say in my new county" He puts a hand on my shoulder, his one eye glaring in to mine "But you have done right by me, Duchess, once you have returned to Biel and settled matters there, come find me at the Imperial court. This war is over."  I return to Castle Biel with my second daughter, to find my second son has come of age. Christopher, like his brother Leopold before him is... a perfectly adequate soldier.   But I cannot stay home for long, and once again must depart for far off courts. Duke Rudolf is awaiting me in Wurzburg. His demeanour here in the Imperial court is far more auspicious, though the local courtiers and bureaucrats still seem to do all they can to avoid being near him. "Amalie. You are meeting the Kaiser, surely you can go without armour for but a few days? Nevertheless, I have told him of the sorry state of the barony of Chur as a result of our first war with the French, and the crucial checkpoint between Germania and Italia that the county of Grisons provides. You may have to do a little persuading yourself, but I think you'll find it in your best interest."  I make my argument that the Alps are in dire need of a great Imperial city, somewhere for the mountain counties to converge for trade and a bastion at the gate to Italia, so that my realm may provide valuable assistance to the empire beyond what I and my soldiers can quell with our blades.  I did not come here expecting to have to part with fifty gold pieces, but the Kaiser seems agreeable, and any gold lost today will be made back tenfold with a new city in the Alps - designed and built by the finest masons and carpenters the Empire has to offer. I am honoured, I go to stand once more from kneeling before the Kaiser when he raises a single finger to hold me in my place.  Kaiser Heinrich rises from his throne, slowly stepping down from the steps that surround it so he is level with me, as an Imperial bodyguard steps forth, holding a sword out with both hands for the Kaiser to take. I glance over to Duke Rudolf who I'm positive is grinning from ear to ear behind that mask of his and his comment about my armour comes back to me. But any sense of danger is quickly dispelled when Kaiser Heinrich begins to speak in a reverent tone. "Amalie von Habsburg, Duchess of Transjurania and Currezia, protector of the Alps and vanquisher of the French" He slowly places the sword on one of my shoulders. "You are to be commended for your decades of loyal service to the Empire. Your boundless valor in battle and ensuring that rightful Imperial land remains under my domain. The sword is transfered over to the over shoulder, before being raised again. "Arise. Princess Amalie von Habsburg. Ruler of Switzerland"  
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Jan 30, 2024 21:49
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drat, Amalie's gonna cast a long shadow over Switz history. Leopold's gonna have a real hard time living up to that legacy
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Jan 30, 2024 22:11
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Crisis Now posted:The call goes out to Bern, Zurich and all the fiefdoms of the many knights of the Alps. We march for France once more. 
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Jan 30, 2024 22:37
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At this point in the very first war against Neuchátel I thought my army would get smashed by the Austrias, and I figured that was going to set the tone of the rest of Amalie's rule, as a poor down-and-out underdog. But they just melted. And then I declared the war on France fully expecting to lose horribly - because why wouldn't I against France + Byzantines combined. And it was going to be a lesson in humility and a blow to Amalie's pride. But then I actually looked around at what situation they were in, and well - https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachme...80142c70895901& Crisis Now fucked around with this message at 22:49 on Jan 30, 2024 |
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Jan 30, 2024 22:46
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Jan 30, 2024 23:04
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The Perfidious Swiss
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Jan 30, 2024 23:10
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Yeah, Amalie's going to end up a legend for sure. Sort of a King Arthur type.
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Jan 30, 2024 23:47
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Hell yeah!!!
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Jan 30, 2024 23:58
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sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh, a new standard for girlbossing has arisen in this timeline
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Jan 31, 2024 00:13
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Jossar posted:A warrior worth building a dynasty around.
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Jan 31, 2024 00:20
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Geneva, Gatesmash, Girlboss
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Jan 31, 2024 00:51
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Well, that woman is going to leave her mark upon the continent. Here's to hoping her descendents live up to her legend.. Or at least don't collapse under it.
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Jan 31, 2024 01:04
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Who the hell keeps letting this woman have babies on campaign? The conqueror-queen who went from random nobody hick in the mountains to defeating both the French and the Byzantines simultaneously with a few hundred men, popping out babies all the while, is like 19th century invented nationalist mythology. Not something that's actually supposed to happen.
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Jan 31, 2024 01:11
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Don't worry about it, she's just built different
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Jan 31, 2024 01:18
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Ah, the Byzantines. Greatest realm in Christiandom one moment, and an exploding mess the next.
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Jan 31, 2024 02:05
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Love that phonk is the musical theme for this character, well-fitting. At the rate Amalie is getting Swiss lands, every war for characters and games after her reign will just be the Swiss grumpily kicking people's asses out of their mountains.
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Jan 31, 2024 02:16
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Jimmy4400nav posted:Love that phonk is the musical theme for this character, well-fitting. Swiss Mercenary companies will spent 800 years trying and failing to live up to her name
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Jan 31, 2024 02:31
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Literally a historical character that's going to be argued over for centuries about how the accounts have to be historical propaganda I love this so much.
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Jan 31, 2024 02:59
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A.E.I.O.U. Bitches.
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Jan 31, 2024 06:46
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How were all the early battles won? Knight difference? Pretty sure I saw 500 vs 2000 greeks and the greeks got demolished.
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Jan 31, 2024 07:47
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^^ I suspect that "opposing ruler in debt for over 25 years" bonus Amalie got was a big part of it. Soldiers fight harder when you, you know, pay them. You know, I started reading this thinking "there's no way it'll live up to the Satanist conspiracy pope one" but goddamn if we aren't on track after just two pages. I hope we continue to get little theme song clips for our central characters, especially when we inevitably have a generation of incompetents who just gently caress everything up and end up with a montage of disasters set to Benny Hill or whatever.
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Jan 31, 2024 09:29
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Holy gently caress. I expected it'd take two or three generations of careful marriages to get a bumfuck countess up to Kingdom level. Not...this.  All hail Amalie von Habsburg, Mother of Switzerland, Scourge of France!
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Feb 1, 2024 22:52
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Charlottemange
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Feb 1, 2024 23:07
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4 - 1090 - 1094 - The Conqueror 1st of January 1090 marks the official date of Switzerland's creation.  And with it the birth of a new culture. The people of my realm may speak the tongues of and their ancestors may hail from Germany, France and Italy but they hold no ties to these lands today, we will become a combination of all three, and subject to none but the Kaiser and God himself.  Much like the Holy Roman Empire as a whole, Switzerland will eschew dynastic inheritance in favour of elective succession, so the most capable among the Swiss are allowed to lead us - of course, should all the possible candidates be of House von Habsburg that'll also suit us nicely, but may not always be the case a few generations down the road.   For the time being I will be favouring my little Amalie - Leopold and Christopher are dukes by virtue of their marriage and their sons will become rulers of Piedmont and Savoy, they do not need any extra help. Heinrich is betrothed to the countess of Wurttemberg, he and his children will likely become more involved in Swabian politics than Swiss over time. Amalie meanwhile will inherit nothing otherwise if not for me opting to make her my successor - but that also means she 'll have no outstanding claims on her siblings, just Switzerland. I know how siblings can be, I fear for what Leopold and Christopher may do to each other and this realm once I pass from the world.  But no more of these dire thoughts of death, this is a time of celebration, a new realm is born, and I should prepare for festivities here at home.  A grand feast is to be held in Zurich, and Kaiser Heinrich will be our guest of honour - I have never known him outside of official capacities so I should enjoy conversing with him in a more casual environment.  Humbert had taken up much of the responsibility of preparing for the feast; these past three decades have seen him become a proficient steward and administrator of our realm - who has probably actually spent more time here than I have on all our campaigns. He organised this feast with just as much expertise, managing to secure the attendance of most the rulers of the Empire (minus one Duke Rudolf of Swabia though), and assembled some of the best entertainers and cooks, when we arrived in Zurich the whole city was abuzz with activity. Banners of near enough every lord and realm inside the Empire wave from the city walls, bunting runs the length of every street teeming with the courtiers and retinues of the amassed lords and ladies and the city square is overflowing with market stalls hoping to capitalise on the event.  In the great hall are lords, counts and dukes from all across the Empire and of course, the Kaiser himself has graced us with his presence, for which I am thankful as it only helps to solidify the legitimacy of the new realm.  Only a few hours in and disaster strikes as it turns out the great casks of wine in the keep's cellar (left over inside the fort when we liberated Zurich from the Bavarians years ago) are all bad, we can't possibly drink this stuff. Thankfully there are plentiful merchants occupying the square outside and it does not take long to find one who'll part with his entire supply - at an exorbitant price, but the party must go on.   This whole thing though, and really, the running of this whole realm (outside of the fending off armies and conquering kingdoms part) is thanks to Humbert. For that I am eternally thankful and make sure that he knows it.  The feast is winding down and I make sure to give a toast to our honorary guest, whom unfortunately I did not interact with quite as much as I would have liked - Vratislav Premyslid has also just become the king of Bohemia and the kaiser seemed much more interested in them.  With the feast over we can return to normal life, it was an immense success and sure to be on the lips of all the courts of the Empire for years to come.   With the new city being built in Grisons I have opted to make my new capital in Chur. It is the most mountainous region of Switzerland and currently the least developed (best hunting grounds), but with the Imperial masonry and carpentry guilds present here overseeing the new city we can surely make this the most valuable province in no time, especially given it is the gateway to Italy.  As the caravan enters the courtyard of the Chur castle upon returning from the feast in Zurich we find Biago and Manegold in a lively conversation at the door to the keep. "Have you heard the news?" Biago asks, a huge grin on his face, a simple shake of my head only seems to intensify his mood "It's France!" "Well out with it! "It's gone" "Wh... what?" "The Kingdom of France is no more! We and Swabians saw to that. We dealt such a blow to Paris, scorched Valois and Champagne so and eroded the King's vassals' trust in him that now no French Duke recognizes the authority of the crown. France has no army, no way to exert the King's will, it is all gone."  Manegold has become possibly our most capable commander, much of our success in France is down to him. It is regrettable the price he paid to come to our attention, but he has taken to his new life with surprising finesse. What he lacks in prowess he more than makes up for in his martial ability, and often the commanding of the army falls to him when we are locked in the melee when our ranks clash with the enemy. He is long overdue recognition, and hopefully some way of making amends for having to kill all his fellow peasants.   With the few weeks respite we receive, we see to tending to the court and putting things in order. A proper court fit for warriors, with the right amenities.   Unfortunately work has been hampered at the vast construction sites of Sargans, by a single bothersome bear. Work has halted and many of the builders are taking refuge here in Chur and refuse to return to work until the area is safe again.  As I prepare a hunting party to venture to Sargans and deal with this beast we receive a summons from Duke Rudolf, and we learn now why he could not attend our feast - he was planning a war against our fellow vassals, and one of his close friends even in Duke Gerhard of Verona. The county of Breisgau on our northern border separates the core of Swabia from it's new western acquisitions on the border with what was once France. We are compelled to join Duke Rudolf in his efforts.  The army musters in Chur and we march south, into Italy and to Verona where we will siege Verona and with any luck capture Duke Gerhard.  Despite Duke Rudolf calling on us and the count of Pavia, all our troops combined only just outnumber those that Verona can field. Duke Gerhard is a greedy man flush with money from Italian mercantile trade, but for his own survival he seems to be readily parting with it to hire mercenaries to oppose us.  It only takes five months for Verona to fall to our siege, Duke Gerhard is not here though his wife was ruling in his stead who will make a valuable prisoner. We take what we can carry of Gerhard's gold out from Verona and make our way back through the Alps to assist in Germany.  Duke Gerhard is reportedly in Breisgau itself, commanding the defending armies. Capturing him there will be a breeze.  The loot from Verona will help fund the war effort, despite recommendation of members of my council I will not raise taxes or cut military funding at such a crucial time.   The forces of Verona have moved closer to the Swabian heartland and are making quick work of our Italian allies, we must march faster if we are to capture the Duke quickly before he can amass any more mercenaries with what wealth he still has.  Having rested in Grisons for the winter the troops are refreshed, restocked and we march north at once to join our allies.  Rudolf and Gerhad have had brief skirmish clashes on the northern border of Swabia but the Duke of Swabia has been reluctant to commit to a battle due to Verona's much larger force of more capable Italian, Lombard and Norman warriors.  A larger army does not dissuade the Swiss! We managed to corner the Veronans deep in the Black Forest near the banks of the Neckar River.  It is admittedly one of the toughest fights we have yet had and even when reinforcements from the County of Bar arrive to try and help Verona they cannot stop us and before long the day is ours!  We could not capture Duke Gerhard, when his casualties rose beyond a thousand he called for a retreat at once. Had he stayed in the fight he might have very well beaten us, but his own forces would be so depleted that Duke Rudolf would finish him off.  But as it stands, his army is still weakened, we have the advantage and we will press on after we have rested and looted his dead. The light of the day is dying and we have perhaps an hour or two to riffle through the dead left across the forest floor. That is - until there comes an immense whistling sound from the heavens, the forest canopy above splinters as thousands of arrows rain upon us. A third of the army is dead instantly, we barely have time to register what is happening when hundreds of heavily armoured cavalry are upon us.  I am held on my knees on the muddy bloody forest floor, beside me my fourteen most senior knights, the only ones allowed to be spared. English knights hold us and force us to watch any surviving members of our army have their necks cut by our English captors. One of the knights, wearing the most elaborate armour, content that his work is done, turns to us and reveals himself by removing his helmet - King William the Conqueror of England.  The English King walks down the line of my knights, seemingly inspecting them until he stops at me at the end and beckons to me to follow. The knight behind me loosens his grip and I stand shakingly to walk over to William, surrounding us is almost ten thousand English soldiers - more of them than there are trees around us at this point. "I take it you're the one to blame for the mess currently unfolding in France?" I muster a nod, feeling half defeated and a boiling rage inside me at my first loss - I could punch him in the face right now, he's almost in his seventies, it would probably kill him. But then my thirteen knights over there will be instantly killed and I am sure King William's sons will march on Switzerland and not leave again until the mountains have been painted red with my people's blood. "I had made a considerable investment in seeing my boys would acquire once prosperous and prestigious lands across France - before you and that German burned it all the ground. And though I may now call England my home I would be remiss to admit that seeing my old home in such a state does not pain my heart. But, we must deal with the hands we have been dealt, as you will duly learn from today" He lets out a long sigh seemingly having to even regret saying what follows "You spared my son in Amiens, and so, I guess it is only right that I spare you this day" He motions to his men and my knights are given the dignity of at least standing now. "You will return to the mountains and refrain from engaging in this fight any longer" As we make our way begrudgingly through a gap made in the vast ranks of the gargantuan English army as ten thousand pairs of mocking disdain filled eyes glare upon us, we hear one last thing shouted by the English king: "Oh, and congratulations on your new appointment as Princess. Some of us fight for our titles however, and don't wait for an Emperor to just drop it in our laps!"  As much as it pains me, we must abide by King Willian's orders. Even if I wanted to resist, I have no army left, my knights are on the verge of death -  The vast horde of gold we acquired in Verona has been requisitioned by the English army.  And that drat bear is back in Grisons.  The Pope is at least a sympathetic man and grants us gold from the Papal treasury in our time of need.  With our dramatic departure from the war, Duke Rudolf is left alone to fight the forces of Verona and his mercenary war dogs in the English and Lotharingians.  Duchess Ermessinde of Savoy has come of age, she and my second son Christopher can finally marry and cement the bond between Switzerland and Savoy.   Their marriage provides an ample distraction from the stress and disappointment of losing in the north, but there is still a pressing matter that must be attended to here in Grisons.  It has been some years since my last hunt, but I am sure my skills have not diminished. And while this may be necessary to ensure work on the city of Sargarns can continue, there is no reason we cannot make a big occasion of the ordeal and bring all the lords of the realm together.  The mayor of Bern has hunted in these lands as long as I, and since becoming my vassal we have become close despite any initial trepidation, he shall lead this hunt and furthermore become the realm's permanent master of the hunt.   Rudolf of Ben had also been hunting in these lands with my husband Humbert. Often while I was away on campaigns and the work of administering the realm was under control the two of them would take to the forests. I will vehemently deny there is anything untoward happening on these hunting excursions my husband is going on, despite what some rumours across the realm may say.  He has joined us on this grand hunting endeavour, eager to hunt such a fearsome quarry, but as we rise on the morning before we set out into the woods I nudge him on the makeshift mattress of straw and fabric beside me, but he does not stir. Death has come for him in the night for the rest of the day I am inconsolable.  The hunt is underway, but I find little joy in hunting this beast now, this is simply a matter of business. A few days in, we encountered a messenger on the road who was heading to the castle at Chur and was fortunate enough to find us. Our ally Duke Rudolf is dead. 'So the war is over?' I ask, but no, his daughter continues the fight.  We reach the edge of the bear's habitat and Count Rudolf tries to keep us focused on the task at hand.  But I find that ever harder with the war waging on our northern border. The new Duchess of Swabia has powerful friends across all of Northern Germany and now the Saxons have come to her aid against the English mercenaries that wreak havoc in her land, seemingly determined to repay us for what happened in France.  'Amalie', Count Rudolf hisses as he sees me lost in thought and points to a great brown mass in the treeline head. The bear.  The beast manages to escape us and we ride off in pursuit, but it is not long until we lose sight of it entirely.  Thankfully the tracking hounds catch the scent of it once more and we proceed with haste.  But try as we might, we simply cannot find the drat thing again. We persist for another four days, running in circles through the forests and over the steep hillsides of Sarganserland but there is no sign of it.  It would seem despite not managing to fell the beast, our efforts at the very least have scared it away, and there is no sign of it again in the region. The work on the city of Sargans may resume.  To the North, William the Conqueror makes short work of the Swabian army and while I and he may have somewhat of an understanding, that does not extend to the Duke of Verona, who has matched his forces into the Alps and now heads for us here in Chur.  The increasing English presence within Imperial borders has spurred ever more lords to come to Swabia's aid, and now large parts of Italy are fighting with us. Duke Gerhard is approaching Chur, but with any luck our Italian friends will see him off.  But just in case, our ranks have replenished, more men have flocked to Switzerland eager to fight for us, our recent defeat in battle does little to tarnish the great victories before that. I manage to get a messenger out on horseback before the forces of Verona surround the castle and he races for Castle Biel at once. Manegold is given charge of the Swiss army and ordered to reach us at once.  Outside of our gates the Normans of Sicily - led by our dearly departed husband's niece Matilda de Hauteville fend off the Veronans.   The priest here in Chur holds a sermon in the days that follow decrying the evils of Duke Gerhard and his vile foreign mercenaries paid for with ungodly gold, and that the Swiss, and the Habsburg are guided by God and will see the people of the Alps to victory. My little Amalie seems particularly taken by the sermon, she asks me if she will one day become like me. I can only hope.  Through some Imperial politics that are seemingly above us, it seems Breisgau has passed from Duke Gerhard's hands to those of Duke Dietrich II of Upper Lotharingia. But still the war rages. The Swabians refuse to give up, the Lotharingians - previously mere mercenaries in this conflict are now the primary enemy, and Duke Gerhard has withdrawn entirely.   And with Duke Dietrich becoming the primary target of the war, his close ally, The English, now officially enter the conflict.  My third son, Heinrich, has come of age. Yet again, a perfectly serviceable soldier, completely competent. But he is nothing special, he will not lead great armies or face down duels alone. Humbert did his very best to raise them in all my absences, but he was no warrior. Amalie and Elisabeth I have managed to spend more time with, I am doing all I can to make sure they are brought up right.  I tire of this detestable war. This year has been awful. I could not find that bear, my husband is dead, my sons have all ended up... fine. That English bastard runs rampant across the Empire. Manegold has arrived here in Chur, I take charge of the army. The devil take King William, Swabia needs us, The Empire needs us.  As we approach the border, word reaches us that Duke Dietrich has been surrounded near Freiburg by Swabians, we move at once to assist them.  But as we enter the area we find small bands of deserters and looters fleeing in the opposite direction, we enter Breisgau to find the battle had concluded, remarkably Duke Dietrich was captured, and while he was more than content to fight in this conflict as a mercenary now that his lands are at risk he wishes to a quick conclusion. He concedes to Duchess Adelaide.   Swabia has now grown immensely, we stand united along with much of the southern half of the Empire. Meanwhile the Lotharingians and Franconians seem swayed by the English.  It has been four years since the collapse of France. Western Europe has become a battlefield. Former friends beneath the French king turn on each other at the slightest sign of weakness, the Kingdom of England and the Holy Roman Empire descend upon the region and local lords turn to one or the other for protection.  Most notably the English have managed to acquire land surrounding the Alps, blocking us in slowly but surely. This cannot stand.  Our army stands beside us in Breisgau, eager and fresh to take to the fight, to reclaim the glory of Switzerland. Duchess Adelaide is in the camp and we manage to find her before her army departs for Ulm, she will honour the alliance I and her father forged. The lords of southern Germany will march with us, and the Normans of the Mediterranean will oppose their northern brethren. If House de Normandy wishes to be Kings of Britannia, then let them be kings of their island, and their island alone. 
Crisis Now fucked around with this message at 16:07 on Feb 3, 2024 |
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Feb 3, 2024 16:01
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Perfidious Albion! Convenient of the game to hand you a nice, new, narratively appropriate rival just as the big blue blob exploded.
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Feb 3, 2024 16:12
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Jossar posted:Perfidious Albion! My original plan after seeing how bad France fared in the wars was to have William the Conqueror come back to France and 'save it' by unifying England and France into a new empire to oppose the HRE. But in the time it took to have a single feast - one month, I zoomed out to look at the map after the last feast-related event window and France was just gone.
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Feb 3, 2024 16:17
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Crisis Now posted:France was just gone. Theme of the LP so far. v  v
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Feb 3, 2024 16:52
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May it take a thousand years, let the righteous hand of vengeance fall heavily upon the head of William and all the cursed sons of England.
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Feb 3, 2024 18:21
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How do kingdoms explode in CK3? I'm a CK2 player, so I don't know if there's a new mechanic in CK3. In CK2 a lot of kingdom and empire level titles tend to persist with different owners with their de-jure duchies despite numerous revolts.
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Feb 3, 2024 20:46
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enigma74 posted:How do kingdoms explode in CK3? I'm a CK2 player, so I don't know if there's a new mechanic in CK3. In CK2 a lot of kingdom and empire level titles tend to persist with different owners with their de-jure duchies despite numerous revolts. I really have no idea how it happened. This is all the information I have to go off of :  edit: I checked the save game just before the start of the part 4 and just let it run while watching France, and then this happened: It was Prince Robert, the marshal of France betrayed the boy king and even fought his own brother to deal the killing blow to France. Duke Rudolf and Biago were right, Amalie really ought to have killed him   I didn't know "dissolution war" was something your vassals could do against you. Crisis Now fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Feb 3, 2024 |
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Feb 3, 2024 21:09
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Grey Hunter demonstrated how it happens: when you're weak and your disloyal vassals are stronger than you they will repeatedly form dissolution factions and launch rebellions. If they succeed, you lose your title and all your vassals.
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Feb 3, 2024 21:23
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Welp, we are off the beaten path timeline-wise. Let's see if Amalie has one more great victory left in her.
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Feb 3, 2024 22:23
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How old is Amalie at this point anyways? I'm a little worried she might not live to see the end of the war.
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Feb 3, 2024 22:39
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I don't care about England, I just want a timeline with no France for once.
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Feb 4, 2024 02:00
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I'm already fascinated to find out what's going to happen with France just literally dead. I assume England is going land-grab like crazy. Will Iberia try to get involved, or at they too busy with their own affairs? There's a lot of opportunity for the Holy Roman Empire in a Europe without a unified France, but its the kind of opportunity that could drive wedges between the constituent states. Could a new Frankish monarch arise to try and reconstitute the kingdom somehow? Things are going to get wild.
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Feb 4, 2024 02:43
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Crisis Now posted:It was Prince Robert, the marshal of France betrayed the boy king and even fought his own brother to deal the killing blow to France. So Prince Robert put France to the torch and then his father massacred your entire army as some kind of roundabout way of criticizing his son's life choices?
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Feb 4, 2024 03:05
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Crisis Now posted:
Yuiiut posted:So Prince Robert put France to the torch and then his father massacred your entire army as some kind of roundabout way of criticizing his son's life choices? I mean, it would be very on par for feudalism: "I hate my lousy son for causing all these problems in France, but I'm still going to beat you up because if I don't do it, all of my vassals will think it makes me and the rest of my dynasty look weak." Sanguinia posted:I'm already fascinated to find out what's going to happen with France just literally dead. I assume England is going land-grab like crazy. Will Iberia try to get involved, or at they too busy with their own affairs? There's a lot of opportunity for the Holy Roman Empire in a Europe without a unified France, but its the kind of opportunity that could drive wedges between the constituent states. Could a new Frankish monarch arise to try and reconstitute the kingdom somehow? Things are going to get wild. My hope is for some kind of hybrid Occitanian/Catalonian kingdom reaching across the Pyrenees, ruled from Toulouse, but I feel like I am often disappointed by Southern France's independent initiative when it comes to these games. And yes, it has to be Toulouse doing the conquering, otherwise Aragon just uses the additional manpower and resources it gets to break the Iberian stalemate and becomes Spain+. Jossar fucked around with this message at 04:42 on Feb 4, 2024 |
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Feb 4, 2024 04:30
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