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Update Twenty Two: It's Amazing! It's Stupendous! It's A Festival Of Fears You'll Never Believe! Welcome back, everyone! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we explored Ivor Tower, got some neat new stuff, and were about to enter a festival of horror. Today, we're going to see that festival and the big pig race, so let's boogie.  Before we get to the exhibit, though, we have to go back. I missed a couple of things.  The first is just outside the entrance, to the left.  It's hidden in these trees.  We find a second Call Bead spell, and the only one that might actually be useful.   It's called Aura.  In addition to making you blink all sorts of goofy colors, it also confers full invincibility.  For an entire 45 seconds. I also have around 13 Call Beads right now, so I have nearly ten full minutes of invincibility, if I so wish.  And while we're out here, check out Lance.  It's exactly what you think it would be. I'm not a big fan of it, but that might be because I have Crush so well leveled.  The last thing we've gotta do around here is back at the well.  We drop the bucket down and pull it back up...  Releasing an Oglin!  We can't target him or anything, so we can only let him run. Perhaps we'll meet up with him again.  Alright, back to the exhibit. Let's go see some spooky poo poo.  Why sure! I do have a ticket.  I just told you that!   Ugh. I'm sure this is some sort of bigotry, but I don't know the right word for it.  Yeah, I'm sure that's going to work out just fine.   Oh, those little bastards.   On one hand, it's good that Zach didn't get too far. But it's not good that he's been caught by the fuzz.  Man, how great is Zach?     If it's a cow fetus in there, I'm out.   FAITH AND BEGORRAH  HOW DOES HE ENDURE THIS SUFFERING!? IT MUST BE ENDLESS  You can't even scratch his nose? York, you're a dick.  ...If there's a man in there, I'm going to punch you.     Oh, thank God. I was picturing something much worse.    Hey, for all I know, that's my next sword.   Is it Cap'n Crunch?  If Cap'n Crunch is in there, I'ma flip out.  I'll be the fang judge here. I have a Femur of Fury with me.     Oh, God, I wish I still had my bazooka!  ...  Oh, it's one of those exhibits.  Lemme get these bits of Wax and Limestone ready; I'm not concerned.  And some Iron and Acorns. And maybe some Vinegar and Water. Bees never hut when taking on the unknown.  Lame-rear end exhibit. I'm going to find your family and punch them for this crap.   "The first ever mixture of an apple and a banana..."  ...If you're going to kidnap my dog, don't bring him right to where I am.   At least get him a mask that doesn't have black, soulless eyes.  It's too early for you to stop being a poodle!  Dammit, Zach, don't run!   I can understand that. I"d probably run, too.   Are you going to shave a poodle and glue the hair to a pig? Hell, get some syrup and cat hair and just give the bastard a mustache and we'll call it close enough for government work.  OH SWEET loving BIG-BALLED CHRIST WHAT IS THAT  "I have just poo poo myself!"    I guess that solves the issue of where we're getting a pig to enter the race.  We all knew we'd have to enter, but I don't know if any of you expected we'd get our poodle dressed as a pig and have him run the race.  Suck our dust, Truffle Trouble!  You ain't got poo poo on an animal that's not supposed to be in this race! I took the time to Google it and pigs have a top speed of about 11 MPH, and it seems that poodles can get going up over 20 or 30 MPH.  Essentially, we're cheating our asses off to win a chance to meet with the queen.  And we didn't even plan it! At least, York didn't. I wouldn't put it past Zach to have this sort of thing in mind, once he saw he was dressed as a pig.  "Who believes this is a pig?"   Perfect! An audience with an evil twin. Maybe we can take her out all quick-like and get moving on outta here.  I'm not going to point out how many fights were a non-issue because of Zach's enormous power. He's done plenty right, just never really in the story. Or maybe he has, since he got us here in the first place.  She'll probably just send us down some tunnels and hope that does it.   For how much people were talking about it, you'd think that we'd have more fanfare for winning the race.  Sorry 'bout your luck.  If it'll help, I"ll go kill six or seven Hedgadillos and make what you do in a week.   York, we just walked in. Put your sword away.  Keep up, Zach. We're getting a fancy meal!  Which might be our first one since we came to Evermore.  No precedent for that or anything...I'm sure he'll be fine.   Cool beans. Let's rub elbows with some snobs.  York, do you just want a sign proclaiming you're a hick, or should I just let you keep going on your own?  "Assisted by his apprentice, Phecal the Florid."  I wonder where he got them from. I'm betting he wasn't trading in the middle of a desert for 'em.  Lemme jot that down. That seems important.  Uh-huh, gold paint, east wing, bookcases...  I'm a little grossed out right now.  But I'm not finished hobnobbing!   That picture from last update was closer than I thought...  York, I don't think you're supposed to--   I'm sure this is exactly how the queen meets most of her friends.   drat, you are a nice lady.  I would hope not. Who knows what that silly bastard will be getting up to in a castle.  And this, of course, is our cue to fade to black...   And I'll take this as our cue to end the update. Next time, we're going to hopefully see Zach not cooked into dinner, do some maze exploring, find a crazy woman, and some other stuff, so stay tuned!
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| ← # ? Apr 23, 2016 20:55 |
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